My Happiness Project

That is the title, theme, purpose of my hiatus from work.  PERFECT!!

I started a book with that title last night.  It's like the author was in my mind.  The first chapter EXACTLY described my search, my discomfort, my quest.  My HAPPINESS PROJECT will be ultimately different than hers, but destination will be the same.

I'm so excited to have the words to describe what I NEED.  Maybe this is a mid-life crisis of sorts.  Coming of age, empty-nest syndrome, generational awaking ... who knows. What I know is I have a destination.  Now I need to find the journey.

It's starts with the first step.  Today.  My resignation.

Anything worthwhile is a little scary, a little uncertain, a little exciting.  That's how I feel today.

I spent time in my head worrying about the "what-ifs" last night.  What if this is a mistake?  What if I should work a little longer?  What if I never find another good job?  What if I'm bored?  What if this isn't the answer?

I remembered to remember all the what-ifs.  What if this IS the answer?  What if this changes my life?  What if an incredible job is waiting for me? What if this creates better friendships, marriage, mothering?  What if I grow?  What if I learn?  What if I live my life?  What if I'm exponentially happy? What if this is an amazing year?

What if I never did this? That doesn't pass the rocking chair test.  This is a must in my heart (for some reason I can't explain right now).  Other things in my life have been a must too ... nagging feeling until I finally JUST DO IT.  Every single one has been life changing (but first a little scary, uncertain, uncomfortable).

Oh boy.  Here I go.