Part Two

Hello again. 

The FS chat was long, so I'm doing a 2-parter this morning. 

Yesterday was just what I needed. I CAN NOT tell you how glad I am that I said 'no' to the other version of yesterday that was available. A version that sometimes is great and I would love a day like that -- just not yesterday.

Makes me wonder -- there's often other versions of the day available, and do I notice those choices? Do I leave room (space) for those choices?

Anyway ...

I gardened my butt off. The spring garden is planted -- flower pots too. I also transplanted the grow room to bigger pots with potting soil. Nothing much picture worthy because it's itty bitty seedlings or seeds. 

I lifting and carried and dug. Now my internal hemorrhoid (since pregnancy days) is acting up. Lovely. Are you glad I shared lol?!?

Here's the transplanted grow room. So far, things are growing -- no seed stall {*knocks wood*}. Some seeds were old and never germinated, but what came up is growing.

It's interesting how you can tell the plants by their smell. Lordy, nature is fascinating. I kept smelling cinnamon-- um, yep, cinnamon basil. I have no idea what you'd use it for, but it'll smell good in jar on the table. 

Sprayed the rocks from Monday. 

Cute, right?

My friend copied my rocks for hers -- just like I copied from pictures.

Hers on top, mine on the bottom.
It's fun to see different interpretations.

I painted a couple of little ones. 

Gardening and rock painting have been top on my list lately. Probably time to do some reading -- lots of library books available and I haven't read a word of them. Maybe a book and lunch or coffee today. Solo date after some work?

Speaking of today -- oh so many errands and things I barely want to do. It's a necessary day though. I've put some of this stuff off for too long. A bunch of walking errands and that makes me happy. I could drive, but I won't because I don't and that's how I like to be. Ta-da!

Good news is a lot of this is little and can get done pretty quickly -- I even did a few things ahead yesterday. I mean, some things are simply sending a text message, and, yet, procrastinated for days. 

One of the bigger things is figuring out my aunt's HBD plans for Saturday. Specifically, lunch and reservations. I need to get those reservations done!! Time is ticking. I have no ideas. My brain is tired of coming up with ideas for things. 

I'm supposed to be a part of another surprise for my aunt on Thursday -- her sister is flying in and I'm the vehicle to get her to a lunch where her sister walks in. The plans hinge on that aunt's DIL (my cousin-in-law) who is insanely late, insanely unreliable, and insanely unresponsive. So we sit and wait for her majesty to respond to timing for TOMORROW. Good lord. 

Okay, now I'm riled up and feeling overwhelmed about it all. I need to get started on this list. It's 15 things deep. Geez. I don't have to get everything done today, but most of it needs to happen. 

Have a good one. Later gators. 

FS Visualization and a New FS

I met a new Future Self yesterday.

Okay, I know that's a little woo-woo and a lot strange, but I swear there's something to it. I've imagined myself long before I knew I was imagining myself. In the last 8 or 9 years, I've finally realized that this imagination WAS a future version of me. 

It's not something I can force -- it doesn't work that way or feel the same. It's hard to describe. It's a knowing, and often a picture that's nothing special. I'm not imagining I'm successful or beautiful or something grand. It's a quiet knowing who this person is and it's always a different look -- Martha Beck says that makes total sense that your exterior look changes when you change. 

Anyway, I did the guided FS meditation from my first life coach. I do it about once a year. It starts by picturing your wisest self or high power -- whatever visualization works. For me, it's my FS and yesterday she was different. 

I even said ... well, hello. We haven't met before. Seems crazy, right? But it's somehow real. I won't "be" her for probably years, but I believe it's where I'm headed. Also, it doesn't matter if I believe it. Before I believed, it still happened. 

And, I'm a little like what?!?! Another version?? Why? Seriously, changing again? But she laughed and told me yep.

Do you want to hear about the FS meditation? Read on...

1. First visualization is one year from now. 

Saw a walk in the woods. Flowers, creek -- basic, pretty woods. I was in mud-style boots with jeans rolled up carrying a basket. 

I asked FS why this? I've walked in the woods many times. The answer ... this is you slowing down, enjoying the moment. You're gathering things from the woods to set a table. Exploring, curious about nature, relaxed. 

But why?

Because this is a step toward ME. 

That's all she told me.

2. Then 5 years from now.

I'm on a patio with overhead string lights crisscrossing between trees. People are around -- don't have a picture of them. Tables, nature. We're getting ready to have a meal. Laughing. Ease. I'm hosting, but people have contributed things. All homemade or from nature. Can't see anyone, but it feels like a mix of family and friends. 

Why this? You will have people who make you feel this comfortable and love spending time with them. Keep being you and you will find each other. Don't settle. Don't compromise who you want to be. Don't waste your time chasing what you don't want. 

Live your weird self and you'll find these connections, this matching energy. There is no scarcity in your relationships. Act from abundance and abundance will find you.

3. Wildcard.

How old am I -- 58, maybe 57.

Took a long time for a picture to form. Just felt connection, excitement, curiosity. I kept asking where I was. Finally I got a picture of a road and people walking. 

The Camino. 

Why am I here? Because adventure is life giving. Don't be afraid to go. This'll be a meaningful step toward ME. Take the jump. Don't be so careful with everything, so planned. Leave SPACE for adventure and space for life to show you what's possible. 

You're procrastinating going because you want everything to be certain, everything prepared and ready -- the Camino is all about uncertainty. GO!!!

It was an unexpected visualization. It always is. Hardest part is to not think -- I can't force a picture. Each time I wonder if a picture will come and it does. The best way to move through the meditation is to ask questions of this "wiser self" -- the answers come right away. It's wild. 

It's wild because I know it's me thinking these things. Why don't I know the answer before I ask the question? I have no idea. Could this be influenced by what's on my mind -- absolutely. In the exercise, it asks the "wiser self" to show you what you need to see. 

What I do know is I feel more grounded and more clear in some areas and that's a good thing. Cobwebs out. I also feel excited ... life is still going and changing and there's so much more to discover about me.

Ta-da -- woo woo and all. Later gators.

A Unicorn Day

It's been a minute since I've had a true day to myself in GA (of course, I had a day in Asheville recently, but it's not exactly the same). 

This is a day with nothing scheduled -- nothing!!!! I don't need to answer to the clock at all. I don't even need to speak a word if I don't want. Home alone too. I slept in a bit, slow-rolling the morning. 

Today COULD have been filled to the rim with people and commitments and I took SPACE and declined the invites. Nothing was appealing and I listening to that feeling. I'm very thankful I hadn't already said yes.

It's all things PLANTS and GARDEN today. 

But first, 

Journaling 

Coffee and tea -- in the most leisurely way

Short Peloton ride

Long FS meditation

Eeeekk ... it feels so relaxing that I'm all pumped and excited. 

I have some chores to do, but most will wait until tomorrow. 

Anyway ... yesterday was very nice. 

9 mile hike with Duke -- perfect weather. We were both tired in a good way.

Had an excellent afternoon with friends. We talked all things garden and painted rocks. It was so lovely. Both women are nice and the conversation was easy and interesting. 

My rocks.

Oh, here are the rocks from my family at the bottom of the picture.

Spraying the rocks from yesterday -- picture to come.

I don't know if I should even go into this today -- my day of SPACE. Let's see if I can keep it short (and actually make sense). 

I've been bothered by that spicy "friendship" again. It's kind of rearing its head -- big part of why I decided not to hike with the group today. 

I had to scroll through our texts to find something she recommended awhile back (for another friend) and I saw our chatter. How friendly it was. How fun it was. As I scrolled forward the change in the responses is striking. I'm not imagining that things are off or imagining how she's changed her tune.

This was in contrast to bookclub and yesterday's conversation. Easy, kind, fun, interesting. 

Why is this bothering me so much? My guess is that I need to make a hard decision and I'm struggling to do it. I'm not sure exactly what that decision is though. I want to stay connected to the rest of the group and she's a big part of that group. How can I distance from her AND stay connected to them? Or how can I not care about her snark and jabs and just focus on the others? Or do I need to let the entire group go? I don't want that to be the answer. But something IS the answer and I'm fighting it and that's why it's bothering me so.

Why do I care? I think it's because it felt good at one point and I'm forever chasing that now. She can be a lot of fun, although lately she's seriously hating on me.

I'm so temped to reach out to her to try and repair things -- hey, let's go to lunch. That's old me. That's allowing her game to work. She hasn't made one effort to reach out to me. Connect with me. She ignores most of my texts and when she answers, it's with attitude. 

But, her attitude with me won't go away unless I do that -- that's the rule of her snark. That's why things have been bad for this long with us again because I'm not giving her the "make up" she wants. When she gets mean (and game playing) with anyone, it lasts until that person offers her submission and some sort of butt kissing. This I refuse to do anymore -- because I never did anything in the first place. 

Does this sound nuts? Anyone reading this from the outside would say it's obvious. 

Y'all aren't friends. 

She's not someone to have in your life. 

Focus on good relationships. Let her flit and do her game playing -- stay away. But when the group gathers, it's always with her too. And, she can be mean -- everyone else seems to cower to her when she gets that way. How does that make the group time enjoyable?

Okay, I've spend enough time on this problem that I don't feel I have a solution. It's not her that I want, it's the group and I can't really have the group without her. I guess that's the dilemma. Can I have my cake and eat it too or do I need to make a hard choice?

UGH!!!!! Why can't I figure it out??????

Off to enjoy this unicorn day. Hope you do the same. Later gators. 

Hosting Finale, 3 of 3

Yesterday's brunch went off without a hitch. 

Food was perfect -- everyone ate and ate. Don't sleep on Trader Joe's chocolate filled croissants. Proof overnight on the counter and bake in the morning. They make the house smell amazing and are just like what you find in the local bakery. I'd bake them just for the smell. Perfect if you had someone over for coffee.

Pro-tip from my local bakery. Slice and freeze sourdough bread (this I knew), crisp in the air frier (this I didn't know). Perfect slices and fast.

Rock painting was fun. I don't have a picture yet -- oops. I'm spraying them this morning and some are now upside down. Everyone did something different. That's one reason I wanted lots of people to paint. I'll have the "snake" ready for release soon.

This is mine.

We did a taste test of chocolate mint since Andes mints were a part of our rehearsal dinner hosting (got personalized paper to cover from Etsy). The only one missing was After 8 -- couldn't find them anywhere.

#1 -- Andes

#2 -- York (close second)

#3 -- Junior Mints -- distant third. Center too soft.

#4 -- Ghirardelli -- awful, liquid center and gross. Tossed them in the trash. AND the most expensive. 

Tried Trader Joe's new Carmel white chocolate bar and this was delicious.

Our family loves a taste off. Couldn't do it blind because it was obvious which was which. I'll have to add more of these to our family gatherings. This was super easy because nothing was homemade. I usually do cakes and such from different recipes. 

Today is the last of the hosting and the easiest. Friends coming over to chat all-things-garden, lunch, and paint a rock. I'll bully a bit if they change their minds on the rocks hah (I think they might)! This'll be a wrap on group rock painting for a minute, but always open to more down the road.

I did some light soul searching (didn't take much) and decided EVERYTHING is a no for tomorrow. 

Reminded myself to make SPACE. 

I had a heavy social weekend and another one coming up. 

And, I really don't want to be with the group this week. The hike and lunch will be political rage talk and no action. I can't with that right now. Space for me AND space from rage talk. Thinking about going felt like dread for a number of reasons and that's enough to listen to my gut.

What's my Tuesday instead? All things plants and garden. Stay tuned. 

First up today is a hike with my dog. He LOVES to go. I sort of love having him hah. It can be a bit annoying with his frequent stopping to mark, and his leash with my hiking poles, and avoiding other dogs, etc. But I love seeing him so happy on the trails. The weather will soon be too hot to take him on longer hikes so I'm taking one for the team while the weather is cool. 

Have a good start to the week. Later gators.

Hosting, Day 2 of 3

Yesterday was mostly a success. 

Here's what went well ...

Took my second run since my foot recovery and was able to do the full 3 miles. I purposely walked about a 1/4 of a mile in total on the steep hills (don't need to aggravate my hamstrings), but I added that mileage on the run distance. Next run will be back to normal -- fingers crossed. It felt good. 

I'm just a bit stiff this morning -- this should be the last time for post run stiffness if I can get back to regular running. 

Bookclub -- lots of prep. Only one person backed out an hour before (it's always super duper last minute backing out). I should've put out less food. Made fancy hummus and it wasn't even touched. That's on me. 

Great rocks.
I need to spray them still.

Setup.

One of the women had to leave early so that kind of fizzled out the group. Man, I hate when that happens. We got part of the way to picking next month's meeting, but it's on me to organize the rest. We're pushing to April because March's weekends are committed for many of us. Picked a book I suggested -- it's a chonker, but we have 2 months to read it. I'll work on organizing this next week -- I don't have the mental space right now. 

Recommended by a number
of people. Should be good.

What didn't go well is all on me (including making too much food for the bookclub).

I was tired after the meeting. 

Had a lot to clean up. 

Still more to prep for today's brunch. 

Nothing healthy in the house ready to eat.

Can you guess?

Yep, face first in leftover banana bread, cheese, hummus. 

You don't want to see my Oura ring stats this morning. It's in black and white what eating this way does to my body. Good lord. And yet ...

Yep, I feel drained and sweaty and gross this morning. Sure, I'd feel some of this tired anyway, but another layer on top. 

NOT doing this today. I have a full day tomorrow that starts with a long hike, healthy lunch, friends over to paint. I'm choosing enjoying THAT over junk food today. 

I need to think about this week coming up. Remember I said I need to pair down a bit? Well, the week is filling quickly. Tuesday is completely full should I decide to say yes (I'm a maybe until Monday). It originally was a maybe because of the volunteer situation, but I don't think I need to be involved after all, so now it's my choice.  

I've decided a solid no to dinner plans. Questioning hiking with the Tuesday group and lunch too, but I haven't hiked with the group since mid-December (my foot injury). 

But ... nothing sounds better to me than being home, working in the garden, reading, quiet. Three heavy days of socializing and a BIG social weekend coming up. I'll have to think about it. I guess I'll see how I feel Monday afternoon -- did I recover enough? does another hike sound good? 

Okay, have to run. Croissants proofing in the oven. Fingers crossed the food turns out okay. I feel a bit unlucky this morning. Why did I think brunch was a good idea?? It's so many last minute food items served WAY TO EARLY in the day. Live and learn. Thankfully, it's just family who won't care if it flops.

Have a good one. Later gators.

Hosting, Day 1 of 3

I promise (hope) I can be finished with the subject of "too busy" soon.

Yesterday imploded with the volunteer crisis again -- had to leave the morning coffee meeting and missed every minute I was there on the phone. Spent the entire day (and already this morning) dealing with this situation. Heartbreaking and hard and scary. 

I got everything finished, but it was a long and emotionally heavy day. 

Today is the start of the 3 day stretch of hosting. Hosting is on my 26 for 2026 list. These aren't exactly the hosting goals, but close ... and this will inspire me forward. My list says spontaneous gatherings and this weekend is more planned, but Monday is organic, spontaneous enough to count. 

I really, really, really need to relax and enjoy these days. I'm well trained from Priya Parker on how to gather and it's time to put these skills to work again. 

This includes:

Doesn't need to be perfect -- and actually perfect can make people tense.

A relaxed, happy host makes relaxed, happy guests. 

Remember the purpose.

Put some guests to work in small, meaningful ways -- makes guests feel a part of the gathering (and helps the host).

This weekend's events are back-to-back and that's a bit of the hard part making it feel like work and a task list. It'll help to remember this is FUN. I seem to need that reminder often. 

It's also a little crammed because I'm still squeezing my things into everything -- the things that give me little bits of happy.

Flowers for the brunch.

Homemade treats for bookclub.

Morning workouts.

Time to journal, etc.

Here are good bits from yesterday ... 

The spring garden is partially planted. I'll do the rest next week. 

Greens.
I'll direct sow peas
in the back.

Flowers waiting for me
to fill pots.

Absolutely beautiful
from Trader Joe's

Grow room is still iffy. Some definitely bonked -- herbs. Tomatoes are growing. Peppers are up, but maybe not growing. It's all such a mystery and surprise what works and what doesn't. 

The farm had to delay some seedling pickups because they needed to reseed from poor germination -- even professionals have issues!

There's a new cafe in town with a Michelin star chef. Two friends from Korea decided to open a coffee and sandwich cafe. They promised GF bread coming soon and I stopped in yesterday to check since I was driving by ... hello to lunch. It was probably the best cooked eggs I've ever had -- mixed with brie. It's going to be a new favorite -- I have a lot of new favorites. 

My cousin called about my aunt's birthday party. I'm taking more of the reins (by her request) and organizing the day. It's my pleasure and will be a lot of fun. Thank the lord it's not until next week though. I can't handle any more mental load right now. 

I like organizing and hosting AND I like being a guest that can just guest. Leaning more on the hosting right now. I think that's why the spontaneous gatherings were interesting to me. How can I host without going to so much trouble? Just gather people for a shared purpose. Quick, easy, fun connection. It's a learning process. 

That's all from here. Time to set up for the rock painting. If all goes as planned {*knocks wood*}, I'll have 11 new rocks for the snake rock by Monday. Grand total of 21 -- eeek, it's actually happening. That's more than enough to release her into the wild. 

Stay tuned for a grand premiere announcement hah -- I can't wait. This was a love project that hit a lot of FS, community, feel-good notes.

Have a good Saturday. Later gators.

Hello, Friday

Pretty soon I can be off the I'm-so-tired channel, but not this morning.

Yesterday was good and filled to the brim. 

Lunch with my cancel friend -- always nice when we meet up. Errands that included stopping at a local bookstore. My DIL recommended it long ago and I tell people about the store often, but haven't been myself. Someone I told about it just went on Wednesday and joined one of their bookclubs. I was driving right past it so ....

... it's hard to purchase books locally when Amazon is so much less expensive, but I wanted to support them. I'm excited to read Marie Benedict -- I've read most of hers. The 6 book Narnia compilation will wait. I have it in mind for something on my 2027 list. I don't think I ever read all six. (This year is the Pride and Prejudice flight, last year was the Stephen King flight.) 

Started this young adult book on recommendation from Gretchen Rubin. There's a podcast that deep dives each of this author's books. I got 2 from the library and have the podcasts cued up. Had no idea this was such a big book though. It seems to be a quick read, but it's almost 500 pages ... eeek.

Then the performance -- The Young John Lewis. Cast of about 9 or 10 people standing on stage behind podiums and a screen behind them. Hip hop and spoken word -- it was so good. Much better than I expected.

A couple of hiccups though. It started 30 minutes late and the sound system was acting up -- screeching feedback shrills and one performer's mic wasn't working. There was a 30 minute intermission and then only 20 minutes of show left -- opportunity to sell more drinks and food, and I understand the need to raise money, but UGH. 

Didn't get home until 9:45 and up early for Friday's meeting. That said, I'm really glad I got to see it. What they performed just standing on stage was incredible. I forget how much I like local theater -- the level of creativity was top notch. And, of course, the life of John Lewis is so important to celebrate and remember. Our government is trying (and sadly succeeding) in erasing black history and white washing our country's past -- this makes performances like this all the more critical. 

I'm so happy to say I'm home tonight. I CAN NOT wait to have a quiet night in pjs, reading, drinking tea. But before that, I have another hustle day and it starts now. Best get moving so I can enjoy quiet tonight. 

Hope your week is ending well. Later gators.