Eeeek, A Rant

Welcome to a rant. 

It's been a minute.

But I'm having a rant moment this morning. 

Hello, bookclub. Let's start with you. 

Crickets on responses for tomorrow so I texted the group earlier in the week.

Lots of "oh, sorry, change of plans" or "I'm now a maybe" which is the chicken version of 'no.' 

Pet-peeve: Why do I need to reach out to YOU?!? If you can't come now, say something.

But 2 people said yes. Okay, I'll put in the work. And I did. Figured out the trail, the parking, the instructions, the timing. 

BTW, I let the group know this -- I will figure this out during the week and text back with details. I explained the situation. Let them know this was an effort on my part.

(On the upside, I'm now oriented enough to be able to instruct someone to meet on the path -- it's confusing where to park and how to meet. And Duke and I had a nice morning walk.)

I sent the text yesterday with all the details and pictures to help, etc. Well done, ME. 

And one of the 2 people backed out. She doesn't want to walk in the heat with her tendency for migraines. 

I totally understand, but WHY was this a last minute revelation? 

The forecast hasn't changed.

When I sent the text earlier in the week, I said it was going to be a HOT day.

Hello.

This leaves exactly ONE person (the person who is notorious for canceling at the very, very last minute). 

So I texted, let's cancel. She responded, let's just do the brunch. 

Okay -- anyone in? What time? 

CRICKETS.

Not one response, including her. 

It's rude. Really rude. 

Now the life-coached part of me will say this is my doing. 

No one forced me to do the work, etc. 

I could have tapped out at any point. 

All true AND it's ridiculously frustrating.

Now let's talk FAMILY BIRTHDAY.

Sent a text a couple of weeks ago. 

Does this day work to celebrate? This Sunday.

Got a response from one person, my DIL ... and crickets from the rest.

She's married to the birthday boy, so I took that as a go-ahead to plan Sunday.

I texted again last week with an idea of HOW to celebrate. 

Very interesting indoor mini-golf that I had a chance to play.

They open early, serve food. Not weather dependent. 

Won't be crowded Sunday at 11 o'clock.

Happy that I had this idea.

Works for all of us -- including my grandson.

My DIL responded again -- sounds fun. No one else responded.

I texted the birthday boy last night.

Let's do something else, he says.

Okay, what? 

I don't know, you decide.

But I already decided.

Put it out to the family text again. We're gathering on Sunday to celebrate. Something outside. Details to come. Who's in and what time works for everyone?

Crickets. 

Family May Day Weekend.

You guessed it. Same.

Please do all the work, but we won't respond or make a decision in advance to give you time to organize. 

All we'll do is veto ideas and timing, etc.

Hike group trip to Asheville.

We want to do this.

Let's do this.

Hey, you plan it since you know Asheville so well.

(Even though one woman grew up in Asheville and 2 people have family there.)

Throw out dates.

I did. Crickets. One 'maybe' who texted yesterday since no one else responded, she doesn't want to take time away from her pickleball and hiking -- TWO MONTHS from now. (This is "that" person, so I'm not at all disappointed.)

THIS I tapped out of -- dead in the water. I won't ask, plan again. If someone else takes the reins, I'll be happy to go, but I've had enough. 

Damn this theme AGAIN (!!)

Wondering if there's a lesson in it for me?

Is this a nudge to do things differently?

Or is this just part of a wide life?

When this pattern hits, I want to be cynical and pull out of everything. 

Screw you all.

I'll go do things by myself and be very content.

Reminding myself to only agree to what works for me. 

(Which sounds selfish, but when I'm the one doing the lifting, I get to make that choice.) 

I had no faith in bookclub this month. People like the IDEA of physical activity, but it's what gets canceled the most. The weather. They're tired. Their knee is bothering them. It takes too much time. Many people don't actually enjoy it. It's more of an inspirational idea to them.

I knew this. I felt this in my bones. 

Especially with this group, most of whom aren't very active.

AND I agreed to it. 

AND I made the effort anyway.

That's on me.

But I wanted to be a team player. Not just my ideas. 

Maybe a perspective is to be proud of myself for showing up the way I want to show up. I kept up my side of the deal. And now I need to make a choice about tomorrow. If I don't hear from anyone by the end of my Friday coffee meeting, I'm going to make a decision that works for me, and if people join, fine. 

Okay, I like this idea. Maybe I won't wait until that late. Maybe I'll text them all early because that's what works for me. 

I DO have a good day planned today so this mood shall pass. Sometimes I think the mood is telling me I need to do something different. In this case, be finished compromising. I've compromised enough.

Have a good day and hopefully a good start to the weekend. Later gators.

Long Day Done & Dusted

I did it -- long day. 

Everything went well.

A few hiccups, but nothing horrible.

I'm proud (and maybe a little surprised) I kept my commitment to the late meeting.

My farm volunteer obligation is finished -- everything else is just icing. We filled pots (back breaker) and transplanted seedlings. Just 3 of us and we had a nice chat while we worked. 

I got a shade cover for part of the spring garden. It's way too hot for my spring littles. I'll cover them for the next few days in the heat of the afternoon. 

I shared extra plants with my neighbor and we had a really good conversation. You don't really know who you're going to get in a new neighborhood (especially these days) and, so far, we have a good bunch. We have a small street with half still being built, one renter (trying to build on the next block so they'll stay neighbors). One person just moved in with her daughter -- haven't met her yet. 

That was the best part of yesterday ... conversations. Little moments of connection, in-person, at every juncture. Gave the day a satisfaction beyond the things themselves. 

But my sleep was awful. 4 minutes of deep sleep and I feel it today. 

Groggy.

Foggy.

Trying to wake up.

Wanting to go back to bed.

Today is a MUCH lighter day and I'm glad for it.

Morning routine.

Coaching call.

Late lunch with a friend. 

One tiny errand. 

Craft time (if I can muster).

Then ... sleep 💤💤💤

Have a great day. Later gators. 

Long Day Ahead

I used the day well.

Scouted out the walking trail for bookclub on Saturday. Duke and I had a brisk morning walk -- about 6 miles of exploring. It's a boardwalk and path along the river and I needed to get my bearings for parking. I've been a few times, but I always park and walk. I didn't have enough information to set a meeting location, etc. Parking is tough -- small lots, some street parking on the brim of the road. A couple of the ladies said they were still interested in going so I made the effort. We'll see ... I know how it goes. 

I ran errands and did a few chores too. 

My friend and her granddaughter came to paint rocks. It actually happened! 

Colorful :)

I signed up for coaching tomorrow. I'm a little late to the request, so not sure if I'll get coached, but you're off the hook for my rant reflection now hah! 

I need to get going. Today is long. Court hearing (it's a tough one), volunteering at the farm (very hot afternoon in the sun), meeting from 7-10pm (dear lord). 

Hope you have a good day. Later gators.

Summer Planting

You got lucky. 

You're welcome.

I'm not in the mood to reflect (or rant) this morning. 

Woke up groggy. 

Here are pictures of the garden as it stands now.

Garlic, tomato, pepper,
basil, radish seeds.

Pepper plant in a pot.
Flowers along the deck base.

Greens, peas, herbs.

Peas, tomato, sorrel, pepper,
cucumber seeds

Peas, tomato, radish,
cucumber seeds.

Flowers of some sort.
I totally forget the names

Fig tree in background

I forgot I bought 2 baby
sun hydrangeas from the market.

I bought more herbs and a strawberry plant from the farm yesterday. He also gave us cucumber plants that are wonky -- may or may not take, but they were free. It was a nice field-trip with my garden friend. I'm plant sitting her strawberry plant while she's on vacation. Fingers crossed I keep it alive.

I think I have crows in my backyard -- the big trees in the gully behind the house. I'm going to try to get a crow friend. Looking for unsalted peanuts to bribe them. Of course, Trader Joe's was out of them. I'll keep a look out.

A nurse friend who I worked with years and years ago reached out to say she retired and wanted to see what I was up to. That's so nice. I was thinking about her not long ago -- we had some crazy experiences at that job, and something reminded me of one of those nights. Guess that energy went out into the universe. 

The agenda today is a jumble and up-in-the-air. My cancel friend is giving rock painting with her granddaughter one more try today, but that's not until 4 o'clock. I have the day for a lot of things, but I'm groggy and not sure what I want to do. The only rule -- don't waste the day. I have options and chores and such. I'll look for a combination that feels good. Sometimes good is simply getting pesky things off a to-do list. 

It is Tuesday and I'm not hiking with the group again. Lots of reasons. I need another beat before I get back to this group. That's part of what I was going to chat about, but I don't feel like going down that rabbit hole this morning. 

On that note, I'm going to get something started to wake myself up. I'm sure I have plants that need tending somewhere hah. Have a good day. Later gators.

Monday List

I started to write yesterday and the morning got away from me. 

Let's do a catch up list.

1. Birthday gift wrap. Found these seed flowers at the Pisgah Inn.

2. Garden Faire. Very nice time with a new garden friend. Will we become true friends? Not sure and that's okay. It's think she'll be more of a "friend-of-a-friend" friend. That said, we're going out together today too, so go figure.

I didn't get any outdoor plants, but got a number of indoor goodies.

Succulent that blooms once a year.

Air succulents and cute pots.
Singing frog and hummingbird.

Thrifted jars for $0.50
Good for herb give-aways

3. Birthday party was such a good time. She put in a lot of work. The flower Japanese arranging was very interesting. The dumplings were delicious. Her friends are lovely. The house and garden amazing. Honored to be included.

Got to take home extra cuttings.
The bendy willow should root.

Ta-Da. Follow very specific rules.
That's a tulip peeled open.

4. Summer garden is mostly planted. 

Lots of work. 

Forgot to take pictures. 

Grow well, little ones.

5. Hubby left for Asheville for the week. Just me and Duke.

6. I'm heading to a my old area to go to the organic farm stand for a few herb plants ... with my new garden friend. I was going, she was interested. So that's how today came to be. 

7. Picking up my grandson from school this afternoon. I get a little more time with him this week -- awesome!

Of course, in all of this, I have some prickly relationship things I'm trying to work out. And wondering how I show up, etc. That's a story for another morning though (maybe tomorrow, so be forewarned lol). Although it's not bad, more reflective than a rant (I hope).

Hope your week is off to a good start. Later gators. 

Community and Friendship and Family

Delivered my rocks to the other snake rock. I hope others start adding soon. People are leaving this one alone ... thankfully, finally, hopefully.

These are big rocks -- look tiny from the picture.

Our Friday friend was very surprised and we had a nice meeting and birthday celebration. The mayor joined us again and we got lots of scoop on our town.

People took the flowers home and the hit was the little basil jars. The coffee shop owner gave me some cut herbs from his basket. Everything felt like friendship and community. 

Found this little lovely in the garden. Thank you, friend-of-the-garden. Eat those pesky pests.

Our grandson's school had a spring hat parade. Usually the events are run like a well oil machine. Not yesterday. Oh boy. Lots of chaos and too much time standing in the sun. But he was adorable and to see his little face when he saw us -- just the best feeling. He came back to our house to play while his parents finished working.

We went to dinner and I ate way too much rich food. My stomach is a mess this morning. Fitful dreams about having a stomach ache. I hope things calm down. 

I have a big day today. 

First up, a new friend. She came over to rock paint with our friend who lost her husband. We've had a couple things canceled related to the death so I've only had that one day with her. She invited me to a Garden Faire and breakfast this morning. It'll feel good to talk to her. (And, of course, fun to go to the garden event.) We have gardening in common and we both have a young grandson (from a child with the same name). She's incredibly nice, quite soft spoken, and we have a number of friends in common. We've met over the years in larger group settings, but never spent much time together.

Then a quick turnaround to head to the official birthday party from the Friday friend. Also a new friend. She's turning 70. I like that my friend group is age expanding -- both directions. Japanese flower arranging and dumpling making, her treat. She even has GF options for a few of us -- so sweet. And, of course, I love that it starts at 2 o'clock. It'll be the rest of the day, but I should be home by early evening. She's had a horrible loss a little over a year ago -- her husband was piloting her family to a baseball game and the plane crashed. This is her first big birthday since the loss and it's a hard one. She's choosing this milestone birthday as a jumping off point to get back to loving life. She's grieved very hard and still does (of course), but she said she wants more joy again.

Today has a strange little back theme of loss amiss beautiful things. Yin and yang of living. 

Best get moving. Early breakfast with parking woes means I need a bunch of extra time. 

Have a good day. Later gators.

I'm No Farmer

Backbreaker day yesterday.

The "standing" farm job that wasn't. There was other work to be done -- harder than picking ... planting. My body is broken -- hah, I'm no farmer. Recovery stats in the tank. Oura ring ... "what happened?"

Happily, today IS a physical recovery day. Yesterday was all work. Today is all play. The push to get everything finished was worth it.

I had to do a first-thing run to Trader Joe's to get flowers for a surprise birthday celebration today. (Pictures loading annoyingly backwards, as usual.)

Flowers I kept in the background.
Rocks heading out today.

Flowers and herbs for today

My kind of cart -- a little
lavender for the porch too.

I got to spend a couple of hours with my grandson and doing it again today. So sweet -- but my back!!

Then watered all the houseplants. Oddly, another strain on my back, but glad to have that finished. I almost pushed it to today (thanks, Yesterday ME for hooking Today ME up).

Today is another full day, but a gentler full. 

Less rushed, less physical. 

More fun, than productive.

I'm looking forward to it.

Short and sweet this morning. Have to paint my nails -- gardening took it out of them. I rarely wear gloves because it's too hard on dexterity. 

Have a great start to the spring weekend. Later gators.