Churning and Burning Stomach

I'm "planning" a bit of a morning sprint of activities ... but my stomach is upset so I'm in a holding pattern. It was bothering me enough that I dreamt I had a stomach ache and it woke me up several times. Maybe the magnesium I started?? It's not the one for constipation, but I wonder if that's upsetting my GI system. 

If all settles, here's the plan.

An outside run (in about 45 minutes so my stomach needs to settle soon). First in too long so I can expect to be sore. "Starting over" sucks, but a means to an end. Dang. 

Dog walk through the farmers market and the library for a drop off. He loves this walk and I'd be happy to have some fresh veggies.

Coffeehouse meetup to get postcard script for a local candidate (not in my district, but I really like her so I'm helping with her campaign). I'm the point person for our group and am actively recruiting help.

Add a shower, track setup, toy setup for a 10 o'clock drop off. Babysitting solo all day while the kids and hubby finalize the move out and prep of the townhouse for closing next week. I mention solo because I have to be ready with all the things. No helper hands or someone to keep an eye while I setup. 

Good news ... heavy rains most of the day yesterday and all my outside gals are watered. Yea!!! Such a time saver. Delights me even though it's actually a bit too much water at this point in the humid summer. Hello, fungus and mold.

I've promised book talk and keep reneging on that promise. Here's a little bit. 

I had no idea Stacey Abrams wrote fiction (yep, that SA). It was a really smart book about AI and murder. I liked it, but the subject matter was a bit close to home and gave me all the AI worries that are plaguing us right now. That's my only critique -- I'd absolutely read more of her suspense writing. Pro tip: have a thesaurus handy lol.

Signed copy since she
visited the bookstore.

Started this on the recommendation from a friend. It's a slow burn, slow read, but good so far. Another big fat book this summer. Seems to be a theme this year. I have 2 more chonkers in line. Heading to Asheville on Monday and this is a good Asheville book -- timing worked out well.

This is the return to the library. Fast read, nothing fantastic, but I enjoyed it. The ending was wrapped a little too tight, but that's fluff book for you, and feel-good feels good these days.

No answers on my stomach yet. It's churning and burning. Evaluating from a "bathroom emergency" perspective. Can a run an out and back without needing to GO?!?! Undetermined at this point. I can pivot to a Peloton ride if I'm not completely confident. 

Have a good Saturday. Later gators. 

Name Guesses

Good morning.

I'm feeling a start of an upswing in "doing" energy. It's an odd distinction about energy. I can get in a slump that makes doing things feel too much -- like I don't have the energy for it, but I do have physical energy. It's not like a depression feeling of climbing under the covers and ignoring life either. It's a specific feeling of not having the bandwidth (desire, energy) to do things. 

I have no idea where it comes from, but I think it's hormonally related. I increased my cream application when the labs came back so low again and 3 weeks later I feel more like myself. It's like a fog lifted.

My gynecologist officially increased everything (and it's on backorder), but I'll see if I can source it another way. That's on the agenda today before a mammogram. Also, she agreed, I'm NOT in menopause yet because of the full period in June. Clock started over. Looks like I'm planning another celebration next June. 

I'm also back to being excited and looking forward to small things -- aka I feel happier about my day, week, etc. 

I need to get my shoulder and neck figured out though -- working on it through three channels. Massage, chiropractor, PT (via primary). 

I'm naturally waking up closer to my usual time again. I can tell I'm more rested. Sitting here in my workout clothes waiting for the sun so I can get in the garden. Changing first thing makes all the difference. I'm going one step further to set out my workout clothes -- keeping morning decisions and "work" to a minimum.

I logged my guesses for a granddaughter name in my One Sentence Journal. My grandson's name was on my guess list, but we had a hint that they wanted a simple name and liked vowels (Owen). We have ZERO hints on a girl name.

Here are the girl guesses ... I love them all. I told them I had a guess list and they didn't ask for it hahaha. 

1. Nora (or Eleanor)

2. Louisa

3. Louise

4. Julie

5. Eden

6. Ivy

7. Josie

Today is a simple day -- mammogram late afternoon so I have all day ahead. No plans, but I have office things I want to do and some outside time with Duke. I'm holding to an every-other-day workout because of my injury. Today's an off day, so maybe a walk around town with Duke if it's not impossibly humid (too much for him if it is). 

I'm working on balance. I'm good with my eyes closed and AWFUL as soon as I shut them. Fell immediately. I'm up to about 20 seconds on each foot -- not pretty, a lot of rebalance as I stand, but it's progress. Including this and meditation each day regardless of workout schedule. 

I made a first cottage cheese dinner -- very late to this bandwagon. Eggs and cottage cheese in the blender for the base of an egg bake. It's really good. Stays creamier with the cottage cheese added. It's doesn't seem to be too much dairy for me. I'm making an effort to focus on protein and fiber -- nothing diet-like, just wanting to add more to my day. Protein powder was a total failure and returned it immediately-- absolutely gross. 

Dinner was the egg bake with veggies and garden veggies on the side. My recovery stats were excellent last night. Connection? I'll have to experiment more. More protein to end the day OR less junk food to end the day? I'll suppose both are good. 

Sun is up -- off to quiet, slow garden. Have a good day. Later gators. 

Announcements!!!!!!!

I have news.

Two reveals ... one amazing and one for fun. 

FIRST ...

I'm going to have a grandDAUGHTER!!! Generations of boys and we finally have a girl. Baby is going great and due on my grandson's birthday. 3 years apart. We are super excited that our family is growing. 

I don't know if I'll know what to do with a girl hahaha. I spent 4 hours playing cars and trucks yesterday (probably a little longer). I don't know how to play babydolls. (Of course, I know this is a gendered generalization, and we'd welcome whatever interests from any child.)

Over the moon!! Have to start name guesses -- I hope they announce the name ahead again.

NEXT: 

Color analysis results.

I'm a COOL SUMMER. Summer wasn't hard to guess. COOL was a surprise to me. What this means is a color palette I wasn't expecting, but I absolutely saw how these colors looked nicer with MY coloring. Maybe a third of my closet is in season ... eeek. 

It was such a fun experience to share with my DIL. I'm very excited to explore all the ways to use the information. The color host was out of the big color book so that's being mailed. She also promised an email with a link to a plethora of information -- I haven't received either yet. I'll probably need to follow up. 

In other news ....

Yearly gyn appointment today. I hope we can make a plan to stabilize my hormones. 

Mammogram tomorrow. 

I'm working on getting to PT for my shoulder/neck situation. Waiting on a referral approval from my primary. Not sure if that'll be a go or not. Might need a visit to Urgent Care to get a referral. This is something that needs attention. 

I'm slowly shifting to feeling like myself (probably hormones are shifting). I have a plan and I'm back to focusing on "stronger and lighter" -- jink be damned. 

I sat down and looked at small things that are tripping me up and how can I course correct. 

For example:

I'd like to garden earlier, but I can't seem to get outside. By the time I do, it's hot and I'm rushed. Didn't fit my morning routine and started to feel like a chore instead of fun.

The problem: my garden is in the front of my house and I'm in my pjs until I change to workout. I didn't want to garden outside with neighbors and cameras looking on.

The solution: wake up and immediately change into workout clothes. 

It's working so well, it's embarrassing because it's such a simple solution. I start the tea pot and espresso machine and head outside. It's cool-ish, quiet, perfect moment to have a garden moment. 

I've also made progress on ruminating over friendship woes. I seem to have let "that" person almost leave my head completely. She gets under my skin for a minute here and there, but I've otherwise kicked her out of my thoughts. How? -- practice. Noticed I was doing it and told myself "nope, you want different energy" or some version of this and redirected my thoughts. 

Freeing up headspace is leaving me space to put my energy into other areas. I signed up for a couple of volunteer opportunities. Not sure where either will go, but I'm back to feeling like I'm moving in a direction that suits me. 

1. Directly helping refugees.

2. Donating my garden extras to a local food bank using a donation program. 

I'm waiting to see if I've been approved for either. The refugee situation is more involved and probably won't move forward until the fall.

This was a big lesson from life coaching ... you have to let go before you can have space for other things. Match your energy to what you desire, not to what you don't want. This was the driving reason to stop ruminating on a person and a group that doesn't work for me. I'll hike occasionally with the Tuesday group (maybe) and that's enough. I'm moving in a different direction, but this was a good stop along the path. 

Okay, I was a bit more chatty this morning. Hope your week is going well. Later gators.

Hello, Monday

Good Monday! Let's get at this week. 

"Friendship" streak ends today. It was a really fun 9 days of social stuff, interesting gatherings, good friends, great conversations. Today is a lunch with my DIL's mom -- might get postponed because the restaurant she wants to try is closed on Mondays. We'll see -- I sent a text to send later this morning. We haven't caught up in a bit and we now have another grandchild in the works to get excited about. It's nice that we have a friendship and were able to navigate any competition or such that comes with sharing family.

This week is somewhat back-to-business. A couple of yearly medical appointments mid-week, chores (hello, indoor plants), errands. 

I'm organizing a poster making coffee for our Friday group for upcoming protests and rallies. I suggested something small at my house, but it's grown to something bigger at our coffee place. I'd prefer it here (and that was the original invitation) because it's an easier setup with supplies. I agreed to move it to coffee with the stipulation that I'm not bringing a lot (no paints). Make it simpler. Holding my own quiet boundaries. 

That's the week in a nutshell. I'm going to try and focus to get my neck and shoulder on the mend. 

Rest.

Eating well (for inflammation).

Sleep. 

Fingers crossed.

This means going back to sleep this week after my very early natural wake up time. It cuts into my morning routine time which is already a little pushed in the summer heat (garden, etc), but it's worth the extra healing sleep. Oura ring agrees. Last 2 mornings I got up at 6 o'clock instead of 4:30 -- and my sleep stats were noticeably improved. I think my body needs it right now (hello, wonky hormones). 

That said, it's getting late and hot so I need to get in the garden. 

We'll chat Color Analysis soon -- fun and interesting. 

Okay, hope your Monday is a good one. Later gators. 

A Pity Party

I have some sort of problem. 

Remember the neck, shoulder situation? It comes and goes and was relatively feeling good so I tried an easy arm workout yesterday. No pain. Got to biceps curls and I have a significant left bicep weakness. After about 4 slow moving curls (cause I couldn't move faster), my bicep quit. Couldn't lift the weight at all.

After a rest, regained some strength and then it petered out again. It feels strange this morning and is less defined than my right arm (which is common for me being right handed), but in light of this weakness, I wonder if this is a symptom too.

Then add sign holding for 2 hours and I could barely move by evening. 

Chat thinks it's a C5/C6 nerve pinch, but this isn't something to screw around with. I don't get medically worried often, but this is worrisome. Pain is one thing. Muscle weakness without pain at that moment is another. 

I think I should quit "stronger and lighter" because it's bringing the opposite. Am I being superstitious-- you bet!!!!! Feels like a big jinx. 

This is a crappy setback for my fitness goals. Workouts are on hold or modified. Figuring this out with the medical insurance and such will be such a slog. For now, I'm resting it and will see what next week brings. Chat said not to "test" it repeatedly because I can make it worse. Not sure where to start. Guess it has to be with my primary. What a potential long road. 

I'm absolutely feeling extremely sorry for myself today. Hello, pity party.

I'll tell you all about the color analysis another day because it bothers my neck to look down at the computer screen. It was a lot of fun and a big surprise (to me) -- I want to give it its proper dues. 

A couple of pictures from the protest with the signs I brought.

Also, Duke and I walk past this little funny setup most days. I love whimsy. 

The fake armadillo always
startles both of us lol.

Kids over for the World Cup final today. Getting takeout to let my arm rest as much as possible.  

Have a good one. Go SPAIN!!!! Later gators.

Friendships

The friendship week continues (and is still going for a few more days) ...

Lunch at a friend's house was lovely. Her gardens are beautiful and there's something so nice about someone cooking a meal for you. I brought tomatoes from the farm stand and cucumbers from my garden -- "just right" little something to bring.

Our friend who lost her husband was there and it's hard to know what to say. She's deep in grief and I questioned so many things that I said -- was it right? too much? too little? I'll keep showing up and doing the best I can. I understand why people pull away when there's such intense grief. You feel like you're not helping or you're doing it wrong or you're making it worse. Of course, that's going to happen because everything hurts for her right now and she doesn't even know what she needs moment to moment. We want to make it hurt less and we can't. 

Friday was a long meeting at our standing coffee -- small group this week, but lots of laughs. My friend made me cucumber gazpacho with pineapple (my cucumbers). Another meal gift and it was fabulous. 

Not too sweet, bit of heat
from a jalapeño.

I baked a loaf of GF bread from a mix my DIL gave me at Christmas. Trader Joe's has been out of their GF sliced bread. Proofed "rustic" hahaha, but tasted great. Tomato sammie for dinner. Worth the long drive to get the tomatoes. 

Soft warm bread.

Incredible texture.

Proofing a bit wonky.

Excellent mix with the yeast
packet included.

Today is a full day. 

We're having a local protest in town. ICE raids are unacceptable and awful. It probably won't be a big crowd since it's last minute and not a national protest, but I'm going to support a friend who organized it AND, of course, support human rights. It'll be full sun and very warm -- can't wait for the weather to break a bit. 

Then switching gears a hard 180 and getting a color analysis with my DIL (same one who gave me the bread). Coffee after to chat about it. Looking forward to the afternoon. Am I a summer? a spring? Stay tuned.

Hubby is back by evening. 

It's been a good week. This was such a nicely balanced week too -- plenty of easy social and plenty of solo time. I'm eating better (feeling a little better). Getting outside. Spent more time in appreciation for this week. It was a kind of who's who of friendship week -- I'm very grateful for these women. 

I'm also grateful for the work I'm doing to sort out friendships, sort out where I put my energy and time. Understanding I'm not for everyone and everyone isn't for me. I can evaluate and trust my gut. I'm also better at accepting seasons of friendships. Realizing my energy attracts similar energy. Intentionally building. Lots of learning at this stage of life. Still struggling with the letting go aspect, but I'm keeping at it.

I know I haven't talked much about my birthday review and year going forward. I haven't forgotten ... stay tuned sometime soon-ish. 

I'll end with the best part of this morning ... HEAVY rains yesterday and I moved all the porch pots into the rain. NOTHING needs to be watered today. Why is this such a relief and a joy?!?! Summer is plants and more plants -- inside, outside, and everywhere. I love them though!!!!!

Have a good Saturday. I'm heading out for a sunrise run. It's been a minute. Lots of walk breaks to keep my back and shoulder happy (fingers crossed). I just typed this and checked the calendar, I'm running TOMORROW. Geez. Today is strength, balance, long meditation ... and a dog walk. I did a longer walk (4 miles) and a short run (one mile) with him yesterday. Easing back into running so my regular run waits until tomorrow. Glad I write things down hah!

Later gators. 

Hello!

Hello! This week got away from me. Lots of easy, fun, friendship-heavy days. 

I say this, but I'm not as appreciative as I should be and it's bothering me. My mind has been swirling some negative chatter all week. It's some self talk BS. My "stronger and lighter" year is not starting well. I've been eating like crap, exercise is off (shoulder), hormones are a mess (hot flashes, night sweats). 

I feel blah.

More like weaker and heavier.

And HOT, not like hot girl summer, like hot flash summer. 

I'm going to work on the one thing in my control today -- food. LIGHTER is the key word. This should help with some of the night time sweats. Not a diet (never again), just smaller portions and no grazing. Let's see if that feels better (of course it will, I'm not fooling anyone).

Tuesday was fantastic. Spent time with a friend touring a community garden, learning about a charity to help Refugee women (in particular), dined at an Iranian cafe. Home to babysit my grandson. Then a couple of phone calls to round out the evening. 

Here are some pictures of the gardens. There are beautiful murals and such all along the garden, but I'm not posting the pictures since the bots are active again. 

Squash hanging from the top.

Use everything as a trellis.
This was a mattress spring.

Making planters from old tires.

Everything works in a garden.

HUGE bean

Wednesday was equally lovely. Spent the day with a friend at a semi-local indy bookstore. Most excellent conversation with her all afternoon and the bookstore was another gem. A few more friend contacts (fun text exchanges) -- felt the friendship all day. 

Today is another friend day. Invited to lunch and a look at her garden. My friend who was widowed will be there too. It's friendship and support. The host started an elimination diet to see if she can figure out some joint pain. She's also an excellent flower grower. So what to bring to her house (she said nothing) -- no dessert or flowers given the circumstances?!?! An actual gift feels like too much. 

Then an idea ... reserved some large slicing tomatoes from the farm stand this morning. I'll bring enough for everyone since none of us have large tomatoes growing. Perfect. It's near my old house so a bit of a drive, but it's worth it. 

Here's a bit hard-to-see picture of the baby birds nesting in my herb pot. Google search says they're baby wrens. 

Tunnel nest

Little yellow beaks.

My "friendship week" continues until Tuesday -- it's a really nice homebody social streak. Lots to do, but nothing is hard or rushed. That's a good balance for me. I just need to feel better. It's a crappy circle partly of my doing -- trying to break it today.

Hope you have a good day. Later gators.