The Bigger Life

I chose the bigger life.

Had a fun, full day. 

Of course I did. 

It's almost always the happier choice. 

The 5K:

Cloud cover during the entire run -- sun came through when I was walking back to the car. Warm, humid, but not nearly as miserable as predicted. 

I ran okay considering. 

I CAN do better ... maybe next year. 

Two more 5Ks before the end of the year. 

One with Duke so that won't be faster.

Maybe the Turkey Trot for a PR this year??

An incredible community and event. 

Heart of the town.

Behind me at the start.

A friend volunteering.

The one arm waved.
It was welcoming everyone.

I had time after the race to stop at our local Art Festival and walk through with a friend. I bought a few things, including this whimsical mug. The artist made beautiful pottery, but this one was silly and something different. It has a great feel in my hand with the nose as a kind of handle. 

Test drove cars. Looks like there's a lead choice, but still working on some of the details. Checking it out on Monday again.

Dinner out with our neighbors. I liked the GF pasta, but the sauce was way, way too salty. That says a lot because I salt generously. I think most of the salt came from anchovies and it was sort of an off flavor to me. I've had this kind of sauce before and usually enjoy it. I'd go back, but order differently. 

I didn't feel well most of the day, but not horrible enough to let it change anything. My stomach is off this morning again and I'm a little bit stuffy. My dang ear is still clogged. 

I'm going to see Hamilton in the city with my DILs today. I'm slightly nervous because I bought tickets from a 3rd party seller. Fingers crossed it's not a scam -- it doesn't seem to be. Love a matinee. Extra love an early matinee. 

But first, a workout. Then garden time. Best get moving.

Have a great day.

Later gators.

It's Too Hot

I did the pepper donation to the local food bank -- over 4 lbs. 

It was very easy and now I have a place to share extra produce. The food bank says their clients love getting local garden grown produce. 

Then I headed to my aunt's for her neighborhood garage sale. Not as big as last year, but I got a couple of toys for my grandson and a flannel shirt for me (it was 96 out -- will I ever be able to wear it??). Drove past a state park (where I regularly hike). They put up a flag for every person lost on 9-11 (on the big anniversary years). It's a somber sight and a remembrance of a time when we came together. 

My new phone came. Hubby says I'm probably the only person in the world that hates a new phone. Spent hours trying to get everything up and running. More trouble shooting this morning since my Oura ring wasn't connecting again. Practicing the camera too -- me and Duke waking up.

P.S. This was like the 5th photo I took. The others -- whoa, where did that old lady come from hahaha. 

Angle and lighting -- takes off 20 years and 3 chins, but Duke always looks cute. 

I suppose I'll be happy that I have a working phone again, but the setup -- good lord. I still have things to re-sync and such.

This morning is the 5K in the refugee town. It's going to be 80 degrees at the start with full sun. I'm so on the fence about going. Nothing fun about running in that heat. I have to go early enough to find parking, packet pickup, and walk the swag back to my car in time for the start. All in the heat and sun. No one is going with me this year again, so I don't feel an obligation. 

Worth it?? I'm not sure. I also don't feel great -- almost like a cold coming on, but I'm not exactly sick.

Of course it's only 3 miles. I can walk as much as I want -- who cares about finishing time. I need to decide in 15 minutes so I can get out the door. 

Let me go open the door and see how humid it is -- that makes a difference. We were suppose to get storms last night to break some of the humidity, but they never came. 

I guess there's not a bad decision. I'll be fine if I don't go and happy if I do. Probably I should "choose the bigger life" and go ... but, this week's theme is backing out lol.

My afternoon is test driving cars -- I need a new one of those too. Geez. Nothing lasts long. BTW, I don't like getting a new car either and hate test driving. Technology change is overwhelming and 2 things in one month -- ugh. (And, I know, not a problem and we're very fortunate to be able to replace old things.)

Dinner plans with our neighbors. Trying a new restaurant. Italian, but they have "good" GF. 

Have a great Saturday. 

Later gators. 

Slept In

Duke had me up 4 times last night with stomach issues. 

I turned off my alarm this morning and slept until 7 o'clock. This means I'm missing the morning coffee meeting. I guess this is a week that I sag out of things. 

Maybe I needed this. Maybe I needed to reset by allowing myself to pull out of some commitments. I pull out when I'm sick. Maybe I needed this for my emotional health this week. 

When circumstances change, maybe the adjustment can sometimes be in my favor (i.e. extra morning sleep was more important than coffee today). Circumstances out of my control. Choose to be extra tired today or go to the coffee meeting as planned. I chose me today.

Coaching was good. Dare I say, I think she's better than the person running the program. Her energy and what she "offers" is thought provoking. My takeaways were some logistical suggestions and a validation that I know what I need. This requires me to do the work, make choices, etc. but helps me to trust I know what I need and I can figure out how to get it. The way she walked me through that insight was excellent. 

Lunch with my friend was nice too. 

However, the day ran away from me and I didn't get to most of my to-do list. I picked and pickled some of the peppers -- 6 pints I had in the refrigerator. This is from yesterday and I don't have enough jars or vinegar -- it's more than I did yesterday. 

Hmmm ... maybe I should try to donate to the food bank today? I have the donation app now. 

Okay, cutting this short to see if I can make that happen. 

Have a great start to the weekend.

Later gators. 

Wordy

I made another decision yesterday. 

I scrapped the in-person 3 hour meeting. It was important information, but I can get that information from the meeting notes. The time was approaching and I suddenly felt like it wasn't a good idea to go. Don't know why. So I went with that feeling. 

(I did attend the online meeting for another volunteer activity.) 

In order to have time to do-all-the-things, I need to use my time more carefully. For example ... I did the road cleanup the day before with this group. Good use of my time. The evening meeting? Not a great use of my time this week.

It's nice to have the group together and be together in-person, but I see the ones who participate regularly anyway. I don't necessarily need that in-person time when I'm overextended. Maybe I need to get better about doing things SOMETIMES. Sometimes I attend, sometimes I don't. Action vs meetings -- another distinction in how to prioritize. 

Spent the evening with my husband instead. Got to bed at a more reasonable hour. Finished watching The Perfect Lie. It's Dutch -- dubbed or subtitled. We watched dubbed and it wasn't too distracting. The ending. Wow!! It reminded me of The Hunting Wives. 

I have a quieter day today, but I have a number of little things to do that are the things I like to make time to do (this was a strange sentence hah). Hubby is gone on a golfing overnight so I have space to do these things uninterrupted. 

(1) Postcard to my penpal. It's been a minute. 

(2) Thank you letter to my friend's mom. She paid for the peaches and said to donate it forward. I made the donations so I want to write and tell her about it. Someone 93 probably likes getting a letter instead of a text. 

(3) Prep to plant the garden for the food bank donation.

(4) Pickle the peppers. I have SO MANY. 

Mixed with this is a coaching call, a quick lunch with a friend, and a school pickup for my grandson (lots of car play this afternoon). 

I need to remember to get back to myself. Back to the things that feel fun and good and happy. I default to forgetting to have fun. 

Speaking of fun -- it's time for a new car. (That's not the fun part -- I don't want a new one, but I need one.) I ALWAYS get a white car with tan interior. Always. Color is calling to me though and I might go for something very bold. It's fun to think about it. Will I get sick of it immediately? Of course, it doesn't matter if I do. Doesn't change how the car drives, but maybe, why not be a little out-of-my-box. 

A hiccup with this decision is it's tight for carseats. How do we figure this out? Hubby gets his choice in car with zero thoughts of anyone else -- small, FUN convertible so I'm left to have a car that accommodates our family needs. His car can't fit any carseat. That doesn't feel fair to me. Spent a lot of years compromising to meet family needs for things like this. 

The other car in the running is fine. Good room. All neutral color choices, so I'll get the white/tan option. Same as always. The other neutrals don't interest me (gray, silver, black, etc).

I'm looking for solutions. Of course, I haven't test driven either yet and that might eliminate the bold choice. I just want it to be my decision. Something I really want, not something I had to compromise because others aren't compromising. 

Okay, that was a tangent. I've been very wordy today.

Best get the day going. Have a great day. Later gators. 

Bookended Day

Yesterday was a good day. 

I found a couple of moments to have quiet time, me-time kind of moments squeezed into an otherwise full day. An extra walk along the river ahead of the road cleanup. Stopped for a favorite iced tea to take on errands. Both were surprisingly rewarding, probably because they were intentionally "labeled" as something I'm doing for me.

I'm going to try to clean up some attitude I have about today too. 

Starts with an early run at first light because it's so dang hot. I need a run before the race this weekend. Rushed mornings are so aggrevating to me lately. I was up several times during the night because my dog had the runs (thankfully no accidents) so getting up early was hard. I've been extra cranky about the weather -- putting a damper on my outside fitness enjoyment. WHEN WILL IT END?!?! Not this week. 

Then I'm heading all the way to midtown to thrift with my aunt. Of course, I love spending time with her (and I enjoy thrifting), but there's a little mixed-bag energy lately. She's overly crazed about thrifting, on a GLP-1 (so we don't eat anymore). It's too intense of a shopping experience for me and this one's a long drive. I haven't had the time for this day and she's been asking for weeks and weeks. It's not how I'd choose to spend today because September is so full. But here we are and I'll have a good time. I'm looking forward to seeing her, but wish it was a shorter, different plan for today.

Then meetings - from 6-10 o'clock. Zoom for an hour in the car ahead of a 3 hour meeting tonight. Both important and totally washing out my evening. 

My least favorite kind of day -- rushed morning, late evening. Bookended day.

I will try to slip little bits of quiet today too. Maybe this is the answer on these kind of days. Also, taking pictures of little moments. I noticed I stopped doing that regularly and that means I'm not noticing as much.

On that note, meditation has been few and far between. I've usually meditate after exercise (pairing the habit and my mind is more settled after a workout), but today I'm doing it ahead. Not my preference, but preferences are often just what's been practiced. I need to think and do a little differently or nothing will change. 

Have a great day.

Later gators. 

Thoughts and Decisions

I made a few decisions yesterday.

(1) Get coached on Thursday. I emailed and asked (it's open coaching) -- I'm on the schedule. Worth sacrificing the hike. It's a guest coach and I've been coached by her before. Curious if she has any insights or can direct me to insights. 

(2) I emailed the hike leader for the big trip next year and told her it was too technical for me. This in the name of priorities too. Training for this trip would take over my life -- all for a challenge that I don't know I'd really enjoy and that scares me in a way that's not a good scary (aka I could fall to my death). I don't want to hike ridge-line hiking with metal ladders to scramble over rocks. It's only one of the days, but that day could literally be the end of me. 

There's a lot of road between where I am now and that trip. I decided to make stops along the way, so to speak. 

This includes getting on the next level hikes with her (aka a qualifier hike for the trip). I'm not using it as a qualifier, but I want to challenge myself and see if I like hiking at that level. She put 2 hikes on for back-to-back weekends in October so I can challenge myself and have time to get ready. 

THIS is (sort of) fun, a little scary, and a more appropriate challenge. It's a big push for me.

(3) The volunteer meeting I attended on Saturday was informational, but I planned to volunteer regularly for this refugee organization. Given my schedule, I decided not now. I became a monthly donor, signed up for a volunteer event, but regular volunteering needs to wait. 

I'm spread too thin. 

Election work is taking up a lot of my time and that's my priority. I can volunteer and help out in different ways with this other organization. I'll revisit it after the election.

These decisions are good AND they aren't home runs -- mixed feelings abound. 

I'm doing the work to figure out my priorities and making decisions with that filter. 

I'm getting coached on the other aspect -- scarcity and fear of losing what I worked for (relationships, hobbies, etc). That's less logistical and I'm not seeing clearly.

I want this full life, but I need to make time for the quiet spaces that are just for me. Without them, the full life becomes a to-do list, not a joy.

Anyway ... what's today, no one asked?

A long walk, arm workout, Adopt-a-Road clean-up, seed pickup for the donation garden, and babysitting my grandson. 

I'm going to focus on how this day is for me (even though it feels a little task heavy). These are all things I WANT on my calendar and I can enjoy doing them. I'm also going to look for the quiet spaces in-between -- be intentional about noticing them.

Sometimes on task days, the pleasure comes from finishing the tasks, not from doing them. I'm trying to switch that today. Many "fixes" in my life are perspective changes on the exact same life. I wonder if this is the case again.

Where I held space was a 'no' to lunch with the hiking group (they aren't hiking today, only lunch). I could've rushed and fit it in, but chose quiet space instead. 

I need to try. There's a way to get a better balance. I haven't figured it out yet, but I'm working on it.

Hope you have a good Tuesday. 

Later gators. 

Oh Monday, Hello My Friend

Hello, Monday. 

Am I over the mood? 

Yes and no. 

I decided to nix all workouts this weekend in the hope of healing some of the aches. It helped a bit. My neck is looser and my back feels good this morning. 

BUT ... I also fell face first into crappy eating and a big "don't give two f*&ks" attitude. Not a great choice. Not sure I'd do it any differently if I had the chance either. It was the relief of giving up for a couple of days that felt amazing in the moment. I did the bare minimum -- obligations only. Everything else was ditched. It would've been nice to rest in a healthier way, but I probably waited too long to force a rest and the solution wasn't pretty.

I'm still in a bit of a ditching mood this morning. 

Ditched a solo hike I planned. Still resting and recovering.

Ditched (said no) to a couple of social obligations -- waited until this morning to respond to late texts.

Put a strong boundary on other plans. 

I need to regroup. 

I think the answer to balancing lies somewhere in two areas.

(1) Priorities. What do I actually want? What is MOST important to me? There isn't time for everything at full effort. 

(2) Fear related to losing things that I've intentionally and diligently worked to have in my life. Without that full effort, can it still be a valuable part of my life? Did I grow these things only to give them up? Will people give up on me if I'm not showing up at full effort?

I'm exploring both of these more. 

There's a coaching call on Thursday I might be able to attend -- need to clarify if it's open coaching or topic specific. It would also interfere with a solo hike I planned, but I'll give it some thought. I wish the schedule was set further in advance so I could plan more regularly.

Enjoy my little dog with his HUMONGOUS attitude. This feels about right for today.

He wanted a bone hahahaha!

Have a great start to the week.

Later gators.