Saying 'YES' Mode

All of a sudden, I'm in a "season" of saying YES and DOING lots.  It's what I wanted, what I asked for and what coaching was about last week.

I'm going to try and be short-n-sweet about the background of my coaching session (probably will be rambles though).

When I left work (after my fall, after our friends died -- when we wanted a reset with our life direction), I did goal setting.  My #1 goal was to find my people (my tribe -- so to speak, but that term can be offensive).  I want people who like personal growth.  People who are interested in things that aren't just FOOD and DRINKING.  People who are up for trying something different.  Level up my life experiences.

I try to be that person, but I love CERTAINTY and I have to actively push for VARIETY in my life.

Don't be the smartest one in the room.  I'm not the smartest, but I AM the one who drives this VARIETY bus with my friends.  Finds different things to do, pushes the boundaries, explores the woo woo.  Believe me, there are much better bus drivers -- I wanted to find the better bus drivers.

I was patient.  This wouldn't be an overnight achievement and, you know what they say, desperation sends off a stink smelled for miles.  These friendships needed to happen organically.

That said, can't find new friends who like different things if all I'm doing is going out to eat with my same friends.  Enter My Happiness Project and the last 3 years of trying lots and lots of THINGS.  Doing lots of things by myself -- exploring other groups.

I've had awesome experiences.  Met nice people.  Had great conversations.  Then I never see that person again.  Thing after thing I tried, I kept hitting a road block.

The question to my coach is how do I find these friendships?  What am I doing wrong?  I'm patient, but years later, nothing has stuck.  (BTW, not looking to throw out my current friendships -- I love going out to lunch, getting my nails done, etc -- looking to add, not subtract.)

Also, I have a couple of friends who ARE this ... one lives in CA and the other (not surprisingly) is super busy.  I can't expect her to be my only driver - hah and she's just getting into this herself so we are about evenly matched anyway.

Holly gave me an idea of a meet up online site for local groups.  I need to check it out.  She feels the same as I do -- I need to find a reoccurring group so I can build relationships over time.  One and done kind of things are great experiences, but probably won't get me closer to this goal.

I've been thinking a lot about this and wondered if I'm looking for the right thing.  Maybe, I'm not meant to find this kind of group.  Maybe, I'm meant to drive the bus.  Maybe I'm meant for individual experiences.

Back to NOW ... all the YESes on my calendar.  I was having a mini-pity party about always being the one to initiate DIFFERENT plans (I get lunch invites on the regular, that's not the issue).  This week, a number of people "added" different to my calendar.  The 2 friends I mentioned came forward in a big way (a trip in February to Austin, TX and a woman's seminar in November with 2 other ladies).  Hubby's bff coming in November and his wife wants to come so we can do FUN things.  Hubby is going with me to Gretchen Rubin (he read one of her history books).

I also got some peeps to join me at a book festival in November.  The rest I signed up for myself.  I like a mix of doing with people and doing alone.

Thanks, Universe.  That feels good.  I needed a thumbs up -- a little success.

My goal forward is to find people who meet regularly.  I'm trying a class at the Unity Church tomorrow (Course in Miracles study group).  I'll check out the meet up site (more on this when I do).

Also, my friends come through in their own way and that counts.  We went to a new restaurant last night with friends who initiated the evening.  Youngest is taking me and the family to a wine and cheese tasting and a local place this afternoon (my birthday present -- groupon for the group).  These are EATING moments, but still fun.  They both said -- we know you like to try new things.  I like busses that go out to eat too and love people who value me enough find NEW in their own way.

Phew -- that was LONG.  Did it even make sense?  Have a great Saturday -- later gators.