Coaching (!!)

Can I start by saying how glad I am to do life coaching with Holly (!!)  It took time to find the right coach and the right format, but this is really good for me.  I've said before, I never had therapy and I think therapy is valuable, but it wasn't a fit for me now.

We talked about the heavy things since our last call -- Parker, cancer in family, job concern, etc.  It was good and productive.  Ways to keep my heart light and my energy strong, etc.  Ways to honor my feelings too (this is MY life coaching, after all).  Things like I'm disappointed my sister and family won't be at my son's wedding.  Both are okay --I know they can't come and understand, but I can STILL feel disappointed.

I mentioned I was having this weird anxiety about the Pottery Barn bill mistake.  I had one avenue left to fix the problem and then I didn't know what to do.  Short of hiring a lawyer (which made no financial sense) -- I was out of options.  I spend hours every month on the phone when the bill comes trying to fix it (the problem is so complicated 8 months later).  The dispute department "ruled" and refused to look at it again -- PB wouldn't send the bill to collections and it was growing with interest every month.  I argued they weren't looking at the correct problem.  This anxiety was keeping me up at night.  I wanted to close my eyes, pay the damn wrong bill and be DONE.

Holly asked me questions and follow up questions and came to the route of my anxiety with the situation.  To simplify and paraphrase -- basically an endless loop with no decision.  I need to set a line in the sand and when that line was hit, I needed to have a decision waiting.  So I did.

Then I called Pottery Barn.  TWO HOURS on the phone, conference call with up to 5 people on the line and it appears to be fixed.  Yep, it was their error.

Here's where life coaching came in.  I made a decision and instantly felt in control.  CONTROL = CERTAINTY for me and that relaxed me completely.  While waiting for another manager to come on the line, I was chatting with a customer service representative (who is my hero in this saga).  She said -- I can't believe how calm you are after all this ... our notes go on forever and you've taken so much time to fix something that should have been fixed with your first call.  She thanked me for being a nice person.

Yep, THAT is how life coaching is helping me navigate life when it gets prickly.  Maybe, maybe not the bill is fixed, but I'm in a headspace to handle it without overreaction, with patience and with kindness.

I mentioned to Holly that I felt funny using up time talking about such a silly worry.  Holly said that's exactly what I should bring up.  Things that don't make sense, overreactions, things that won't stop bugging at me.  She can help get to the REAL route of the problem.  I'll find a pattern in circumstances with the same route problem and learn to notice and fix them as they show up.  I wish I talked to her sooner about the stupid bill.

Anyway ...

The sun is coming out today -- or so we've been told.  Days and days of rain are finished until the weekend.  Time to get outside with my crazy dog.  He's bored out of his mind (little guy HATES to be wet).

Tonight is a couple's dinner at a new ramen noodle restaurant.  We can't go until 7 o'clock (which feels a little late since we'll have a wait -- no reservations), but I'm looking forward to getting out and catching up with friends.

My day is a mix of finishing up paperwork and administrative calls (problem list) and GETTING OUTSIDE.  I won't run outside until tomorrow though.  Trail needs a day to dry out because it gets slippery (made that mistake before) and our neighborhood is still a paving mess.  Boxing at home and lots of walking my little man.

My BIL's appointment with his doctors got moved until Friday (so the CT can be read).  My cousin's surgery went well with good results from the chemo.  Still praying hard.

Long post, so I'll end things here.  Later gators.