Family Gathering

We still had the party yesterday.  I thought it would be a good distraction -- and it was -- for all of us. I didn't take pictures (bummed, because the dogs were so cute together).

My aunt brought her one year old lab mix (she adopted her from Releash) and she and Duke had an awesome time playing.  Duke has been out of sorts.  I don't know what he understands, but he knows something is upsetting.

It was nice to have our family gathered, laughing, remembering Parker ... we felt the love.

Getting ready for the party was another thing.  I was exhausted -- didn't sleep well, cried up until an hour before the party.  I had ALL the cooking to do in one day which is hard on my back.  I got it all done and it was a success (all easy things), but I felt like I was run over by a mac truck before the party even started.

The football game went to overtime so things didn't wrap up until about 9 o'clock.  I went to bed with a half messy kitchen (I'll get to it later).  Both Duke and I were worn to a nub LOL.

I'm going to Unity this morning for a special New Year's service -- it's one of their big ones.  White Stone Ceremony.  Meeting my girlfriend and catching up with lunch after the service.  I almost canceled because I don't feel well, but I can rest later today.  My head hurts, my stomach is a mess (has been since Friday) -- but more distraction is a good thing today too.

Parker was such a big part of my EVERY SINGLE DAY and it's going to take time to get used not having him by my side ... pretty much ALWAYS.  He was my dog, my baby and I was his person.  This dog was light and love and all things joyful.  I say this with no exaggeration or dramatics.  To know him was to love him -- he had a following LOL -- and everyone remembers his antics and huge smiles.

I'm taking care of myself while I'm sad.  I don't need to talk to people or cry with people.  I need to be alone and let myself love his memory.  People are a good distraction -- I'm well aware this is a part of loving a dog and life moves forward.

I'm learning to allow my feelings and I'm going to let myself be sad as much as I need -- privately, like I do, but unapologetically (which is growth for me).

Tomorrow I'll be back to chat about something else ...