Total Dud.

We laughed.  Not the way we thought though.

Oh, the show was so BAD.  There was nothing funny about this guy.  To be blunt, he didn't have enough talent to be a one man show.  He wasn't funny, wasn't a good story teller and his stories weren't believable.

The show was him recounting his life in what was suppose to be Men are From Mars kind of way -- missed that mark too.  Holes in the stories all over the place (um, no Siri that decade, no way your wife was doing THAT).  There were animated videos and that weren't working.  His act was clean and then suddenly it wasn't.  Pretending his wife was peeing in the pasta water -- really?!?  Gyrating across the stage ... over and over ... mimicking "putting motion in her ocean."  Yuck.

Then he tells us the "sex" stories are after intermission.

Let's get to the funny part -- the audience.  4 o'clock show brought out senior couples and the middle age couples GROUPS (bunch of friends going together).  He was getting laughs -- why, I don't know.

Then intermission.  The seniors start stretching in their seats -- honest to god, like doing a chair routine.  More than one person.  I thought the first person was ill, but his wife was talking and smiling.  Just a stretch, as it turns out.  My nursing skills weren't needed.

I went to the bathroom (to stretch my legs -- that's how I do it LOL).  Through the lobby with LINES for overpriced, crappy drinks and someone is taking a picture of their group saying -- smile, you know we're all getting lucky tonight.  YUCK.  Then I pass another group -- quoting his cheesy sex joke and the group is head-back laughing.  What?!?

On the way BACK from the bathroom, I passed two middle-aged couples MAKING OUT.  Seriously, making out.  Not a kiss.  Not a long kiss.  MAKING OUT at the standing tables.  Bodies together moving around.  I am not exaggerating -- my mouth dropped.

We left.  Second half be damned.  Couldn't take another minute.

Then our funny.  We valet parked (it's cheap and easy for this venue) and our car hadn't moved from the valet circle where we left it -- thought that was strange.  Paid, got our keys and got in the car.  There was a big brown smear on the driver's seat.  Turns out, hubby age a granola bar on the way there and he "thought" he dropped part of it.  It melted and smeared.  No wonder our car didn't move -- no one was sitting on that mystery brown streak.  And we left early.  You know what everyone thought LOL.  We belly laughed all night about it -- now, THAT is FUNNY (!!)

This was not the first time we've seen middle aged peeps being all handsy.  We went to a Journey cover band a couple of years ago and the place was filled with weird public displays.  So much so, I barely watched the stage -- the people were the show.  Dirty dancing.  Kissing with hands in places.  Upper leg rubs.  At least 50 years old ... some older (who does that in public at that age -- even if you're newly dating).  It was creepy and gross, but I couldn't look away.  LOL.  Am I a prude?  Guess so -- watching middle age foreplay is not my thing.

Grateful for 2 things ...
(1) Didn't invite any friends to go with us.
(2) Didn't check-in on social media.

I wonder what the 7 o'clock show audience was like ...  honestly, people -- get a room :)