I woke up in a panic last night -- all the things buzzing on my calendar had me wide awake.
But here's the thing -- it's not REALLY a problem. Things need to get done. A couple of problem solving issues that I WILL figure out and a bunch of regular to-do things. And my nervous system is going berserk over it.
Still leftovers from Covid?? or my normal mind panic??
The good news is I'm relatively calm now -- talking myself through the logistics that CAN work to fix some issues. Also, I haven't been meditating since I left for Hawaii. How do you know if something is working ... stop doing it. Yep, time to get back at it.
Oh, and it's mostly fun stuff again that has me in this uproar. What in the world is wrong with me?!? One of the possible fixes is ACTUALLY FUN (i.e. a quick trip to Asheville in-between company weekends).
Not to belabor the point (but I will) ... I knew I had a few tight weeks coming up, but manageable. Very deliberately and carefully scheduled. But then things added-on, changed, COVID.
Is this a side-effect of a full life OR am I shitty at planning a balance and saying no? Am I over scheduling in a way that doesn't allow for the inevitable hiccup? Questions I ask every time I get overwhelmed. I still don't have answers.
This could also be some languishing left from COVID too. Is this list really too much or am I still on 50% power and it just feels like too much?
Questions, questions, question!!
In other news ... I hiked for the first time since we got home. My heart was fine. 7 easy miles. New and reconstructed trails were nice, but muddy. Some of the humidity blew out and it got cooler as the morning went on. Felt good to be in nature on an early, quiet morning.
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| Looks like s sting ray |
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| Hard to see -- 3 deer chilling in the early morning. |
I have a big day today. The more I can get finished and plans figured out, the more I can relax into June. It's my birthday month and I want to experience it intentionally, really mark the occasion.
Oh, just connected it's a Monday AND a new month -- love it. A little extra reason to make a good start of it. Have a great day. Later gators.
