Midlife "Awakening"

Brooke Castillo for the win AGAIN.  She has a way of summarizing all the convoluted rambles and getting to the point.

Turns out, she and I are both going though a Midlife Awaking (not crisis, per her - hah).  And she's going to spend time talking about it.

AWESOME!!  Me too.

Her latest podcast was spot on to where I am these last few years (#302) and she had a guest coach that specializes in this time of a person's life.  The coach (Suzy Rosenstein) went through this time from age 45-50.  Um, hello ... TOTALLY me too.

A quick summary using her more concise thoughts -- my traditional life was marked out for me (because I chose the traditional path BTW).  The big stakes were set on the path.  I had a little bit of an irregularly path on this traditional road, but I hit all the markers.  Get married, have kids, get a house, get a bigger house, raise kids, build a career, build a bank account, launch kids into the world (ie get off our bank roll and out of the house) -- you get the idea.

Now what?  I hit my goals.  I walked this path for almost 30 years -- having choices, but smaller choices because the major points were already mapped out.  Every decision stayed on this path -- and that was good because it is (was) the path that I wanted to live.

Now I have nothing but choice and I have no idea where I'm going.  No surprise, Brooke recommends navigating through this time with life coaching skills.  I agree (my life coaching call with Holly is Wednesday).

It feels good to know I'm not alone.  I'm immensely grateful for where I ended up, but my story made a big STOP once the path ended.  I still have all the little stuff, but I can't see the bigger picture.  That's what I'm working to figure out.  A take-away from the podcast (and my coach) is don't rush the process in the name of finding something, anything.  Spend time with yourself, quiet yourself, do the internal work and the path will find you.  It's an exciting time, but scary uncomfortable too.

I WANT the path to change.  That's why I feel so discontent thinking about keeping my life the same -- same doesn't work anymore.  It feels like being stuck and the end of the path and moving without going anywhere.  This is been in my head for about 4 years (yep, midlife).  It's a long process of imagining your life.  No wonder menopause is hard -- it's also the time when the path ends.

I worked on a little GOAL work too.  The coach, Suzy, takes her clients through an exercise of writing down 20 things you want -- 20 things for this second chapter of your life.  She said many people can't get to 20.  Can't imagine enough to fill a list of 20.

I did it and it was HARD.  I was reaching ... looking to fill the list (I got stuck around #10).  30 years ago, I would've struggled with ONLY 20 things.  It's interesting.  Surprising.  Something to think about.

Anyhoo ...  CAKE (!!)

Kids brought over a wedding cake sampler for us to try -- they did theirs yesterday.  My DIL ordered an extra one to go because I love cake.  OMG ... so sweet ... I'm a lucky MIL.  Every piece was delicious.  Three of us ate it, so we each got a little layer from every slice.  I passed on a couple because any cake that is yellow with chocolate icing is not my thing.  The strawberry cake was INCREDIBLE.  Could that be my 50th birthday cake?  Or my cake to celebrate Wednesday?  Cake patience.  Where is a birthday when you need one?!?

The wedding shower (the small one I'm hosting) has been decided.  Oh boy.  Renting a mini-bus and doing a wine tour locally.  Having a munchie, girlie spread and shower cake (of course) ... wine tastings, etc.  Some decorating and a little bit of logistics issues, but it's happening.  Not as easy as I wanted, but this is fine -- it'll be fun and makes DIL happy.  That was the end goal all along.

A Course in Miracles class was great.  A few of the more recent ones weren't as good (uplifting) and this was a feel-good morning that I needed.  Spent another hour in the coffee meeting area chatting with people from the group and my girlfriend who came for the first time (she introduced me to Unity).

Yesterday was a better day -- the best one since Parker died.  I'm climbing up.

Today is a movie -- Little Women.  I can't wait to see it.  Noon start time which is even better.  It's suppose to RAIN like crazy the next 3 days and the ground is already saturated.  I don't like driving on the country, flooded roads if I don't need to be out.  Daylight is good to see the puddles (I see you, Midlife).

Happy Monday.  Later gators.