Here's what I've experienced so far (all of about 2 weeks LOL).
Yep, it's true. BUT a big old caveat.
Sometimes before something can feel good, it has to feel uncomfortable. Have to walk through less-good to get to good.
Sometimes something can feel good ONLY if I make it feel good.
And, of course, sometimes things feel good, period.
Case in point yesterday.
I spoke some truths to my girlfriends about this big trip to Italy. Holding some personal boundaries. Still compromising, still wanting everyone to feel good about this trip but not at the expense of what I want from it. (We had an all day Messenger thread going.) I spoke more candidly than usual and it felt uncomfortable. How would I be perceived (demanding, selfish?) ... how would they react (harsh?) ... did I ruin everything?
This trip must FEEL GOOD or I'm not spending the money. In order for it to feel good, I have to speak up against the majority. Hold boundaries with some strong, vocal women. Be myself. Have my OWN BACK as much as I have anyone else's.
The response was fine -- respectful conversation, changing options, discussion to please us all, etc.
The message from The Holistic Psychologist (Dr. Nicole LePera) last night was ... "speak your truth, then pay attention to how people respond. It's a clear message." Yep, I can work with this message from these ladies.
This trip is going to be great and I'm going to feel good, but I have to do some uncomfortable work before that can happen. You teach people how to treat you. It's one of those (mostly) true truths and re-teaching is uncomfortable. It starts with me -- how treat myself. Both are uncomfortable.
Sometimes GOOD needs a push. My nails needed to be done (I don't do my own nails -- cuticles, reaching toes ... all too much for me). I had a choice to make it feel good or go through the motion. I decided I needed a burst of GOOD, so I MADE it good. Book, hot tea, requested a nice chair location, asked for a pillow when mine was missing, took time to pick my color (I had a picture of a bottle from months ago that I liked), smiled, joined a couple of conversations in a friendly way (goodbye hibernation).
When I'm having a funk, I hibernated even when I'm out. Less eye contact, head down, ignoring things around me. It's noticeably more GOOD when I DON'T hibernate. Sometimes I need to force myself to interact.
It continues to surprise me the lengths I go to MOVE AWAY from feeling UNCOMFORTABLE. I've been upset (uncomfortable) and holding boundaries feels uncomfortable and "old me" would have dropped the boundaries in the name of one less thing that feels yucky. Walking through the less-good to get to the good.
This is why my list of overwhelming things (like the wrong bill) feels too much right now. It's uncomfortable. I'm fighting to keep "uncomfortable" away. Handling these things feels too much. I'm doing the entire list next week. I'm feeling better and climbing out of the mood. I'll be "strong" enough by next week. (By strong, I mean I won't overreact and get snippy and get emotional.)
Let's end on a little fun ... here are two new goodies.
Mug from No Crumbs Left's pottery line. Love everything about it. And my nail color. I watched a lady get her nails painted months ago and I loved this color on her. It's rare to see a "regular" manicure these days. Perfectly neutral -- perfect for my SNS break -- worth finding in the sea of polish colors.
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| It's says, "Let's go!" Handmade -- beautiful mug. |
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| A little less yellow in real life. My office lighting in the dark is bad. It's pearly creamy light gray-ish LOL |
Have a great Saturday -- later gators.
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