Iron and Overthinking

Today is that big, full day I said was building as the week went along. It's not so full that it's too much, it's full of activities that will put strain on my neck. 

Should I have changed this day up? Maybe, but I didn't. 

I did make some better choices for yesterday. I usually do an evening sign waving and I decided not to go to rest my neck. Good choice. 

I keep reminding myself it'll be a good day. Do the PT exercises, take Advil, ice, and I'll be okay. 

While I kept my plans for today, I am modifying things to help. New chair for the concert that's better for my posture. Dropping a car so I don't have to carry said very heavy chair home. Using a different hiking pack this morning. 

Anyway, the furniture came yesterday. I love the look, BUT had no idea that it's made of iron. Heavy as all get back. It feels like a fancy filing cabinet and every touch leaves a fingerprint. Good lord. I didn't even consider looking at the material -- it's always wood or a composite. IRON, Pottery Barn?!? Why??

I hate making a mistake like this -- geez. 

Organizing the closet over the next week or so. Have to work around things-that-bother-my-neck so it'll be a slow roll. I moved them back a little and I'll get a 3x5 rug to sit in front. There's also a strange hook on the back to secure them to a wall and it's preventing them from sitting flush. Maybe I can take off the hooks. They're short and sturdy -- not worried about them tipping over. 

I also made better decision for tomorrow. There's a hike that I pulled out because it's too much after today. I'm going to an author talk in the afternoon and that's all. If I feel well enough, I'll start closet organizing, but I want a slow-roll morning and ease on my neck. (Are you sick of hearing about my neck hah!!)

You know I overthink some things everything. Here's my overthink today. Bare with me as I try to explain.

I want to be someone who hosts. 

I want to gather friends in a fun way.

I want connection. 

Tonight is THAT. I'm Priya Parker-ing the evening. It's a curated group of ladies. It has a purpose and a specificity. 

But am I enjoying it? I don't know. Maybe because of other things going on (hello, neck)??

Here's me being petty. I asked people not to bring things and I'm having to insist too hard that they listen. Otherwise, we'll have WAY TOO much food and the cooking I'm doing will be wasted. I know women like to help, but please just come and enjoy the tomato-themed supper. Someone is bringing a dessert and she insisted. Okay. Pretty please no one else show up with food -- in the name of being helpful, it's actually rude.

Also, per PP event planning, I sent a text and told people to come prepared to defend Piano Man vs Rocket Man (it's the cover band tonight). Choose a side, pick a winner. Some fun tension. Everyone responded in the text -- "I like them both, could never decide." Come on ladies. Also, this was meant to be DISCUSSED, not a text response. 

I'm going to post in the Group Life discussion board after tonight. How do you host like a Group Lifer if guests don't know how to do it and don't LISTEN? I'll see if I can get a better discussion going at the table tonight. 

So I'm overthinking whether this is worth it if it's not actually working out. Is it fun? Can I make it fun? Does it get better with practice? Is there a better way? A simpler way? Is it actually working out, but I'm expecting something too perfect? Questions, no answers. 

Maybe some answers after tonight. I need to overthink about it. 

Best get going -- it's another rushed morning. Just waiting for it to get light to get started. 

Have a good day. Later gators.

Happy Tomatoes

How can finding tomatoes make me so happy?

Hormones, hyper-fixation on something?? I don't know, but it doesn't feel "normal." Nothing else has changed. 50-50 of good and not good, and, yet, I'm totally happy again.

Contemplation for another day. For now, me and lots of tomatoes have a full day ahead. 

The massage was fantastic and my body feels really good. The "wind" died down and no threat of a slip -- thank the lord. I booked another appointment for next month. She said, wow your neck is a mess, but your legs are really strong. Implying, my upper body is weak, which I know since I've barely lifted this past year. 

The neck issue might be a hidden blessing because it's changing my approach fitness (more balanced) and daily activities (form, posture). I'm excited to try pilates as a way to get stronger again. I hope this new path will take my fitness into a stage that will age well. First, I have to heal my neck.

P.S. My closed-eye balance is slowly improving too and my ankles don't hurt from doing it anymore. I have some significant weak areas that I didn't notice. 

I went to bed VERY early last night. I was suddenly super sleepy around 6 o'clock (probably massage related) and I decided not to fight it. 8 hours of great sleep. Up extra early because I had such good sleep. Could also be why my mood feels better. 

I got new running shoes -- another attempt to get things back in form. I'm going to take them for a short, easy run this morning to test them out. They feel different than my last pair with a higher profile. Lordy, I hope I don't trip because they're higher. Always a frustration with running and hiking shoes -- old style isn't available for long. I wonder if I should order a second pair when I find ones that work well.

Waiting on a furniture delivery today. The scheduling email came with the time range BLANK. Good lord. Had to call them AGAIN. Props to Pottery Barn though, they have issues, but the customer service line is easy and you immediately talk to a person. Fingers crossed on the actual delivery. 

Kitchen time today prepping for tomorrow. We're back to a simple-ish evening, but I'm gone most of the day tomorrow so working on it today. Five of us total and that's a good number. Hopefully, no last minute cancelations -- always a possibility with this group.

Have a good day. Feels like a Friday to me. Have to keep it straight. Later gators.

Tomatoes Doing Me Dirty

Prepare for a mood, sponsored by hormones and tomatoes. 

I followed up with the tomato order I sent last week. The stand was stocked on Monday with tomatoes (per notification on social media), but I had already ordered them for Wednesday. Now there aren't any available for Wednesday. "Nothing is ripe." Okay, but I guess you weren't going to tell me?? It's a 40 minute drive to get there. They take orders. I would've gone on Monday and taken those. 

Now I'm on the hunt for good slicing tomatoes since these are the star of my supper menu for Friday. 

It's a wrench in my plans because I don't have the time to drive all over, looking, etc. They need to be ripe enough too. It's like looking for avocados at the last minute -- you can get burned by only green ones available and not enough time to ripen. 

If I can't find what I'm looking for today, I have to pivot the menu for Friday and that's a bunch of work on short order. 

Hubby was right -- simple, easy backfired. I'm trying to be unbothered. This is about gathering ladies together for a fun night of chatting, music, friendship. It's not about a tomato. 

I wish I was this person. 

I try to be this person. 

I'm clearly not.

Little annoyances are popping up all over the place this week too. 

Energy matching energy. 

I'm waiting to hear about the furniture delivery tomorrow. I was supposed to get the time window on Monday, but didn't. I called and "it's coming, you'll have the window by Thursday morning at the latest." Isn't that a little late to know?? So everything is on hold for Thursday. 

All my complaining and today is just about finding tomatoes AND a massage. How is this a horrible day?? Of course, it really isn't, but you know the tomato drama, now let me tell you about the massage saga.

The massage ... she's local, recommended by my hairdresser's chiropractor. I made the first available appointment weeks ago because of the neck pain. I'm looking for a local massage option so I don't always need to go to Asheville. The fact that this is who a chiropractor uses feels like a solid recommendation and worth the drive. 

Here's the catch (warned you it was a mood). My neck isn't ready for a massage (per PT) so I need to exclude neck and upper back. This is the best part and the reason I booked an appointment. She's a one woman show who rents space, gets a babysitter for young children. Can't cancel. I guess it'll be an opportunity to see if she's an option going forward, but the timing isn't good. 

And, in TMI news, my stomach is upset from too much fiber yesterday and I'm a smelly, noisy, wind tunnel this morning. Lord, I hope this ends before the massage -- for both our sakes. It's so bad, I actually dreamt about it. You know when you have a full bladder and you dream about it until it wakes you up ... that was this hah. Can you imagine if I relax and let one rip during the massage?!!? Heaven help me. 

On that lovely image, I'll say goodbye. 

Have a good day. 

Maybe I'll be happily stocked with tomatoes and gas-free by the time I'm back tomorrow.

Later gators. 

Wiggle Room

I was firmly in problem-solving mode yesterday and got a number of worrisome things off my plate.

Spoiler alert -- it all worked out. 

But the same thing happened last night.

Woke up in a panic about EVERYTHING.

This MUST be hormones. Oura ring has been noting my overnight BP is not dropping as usual and that indicates "stress more than usual." Yep, for no reason too. 

Tackling today like I tackled yesterday. There are a number of things that I can't seem to get off my plate. People and businesses not responding. Do better, folks. And, also, not an actual big deal, but my mind is adding it up to a problem -- both are true. 

I'm trying to keep Friday's easy summer supper EASY, but, of course, it's not. At this moment I'm regretting my little idea (hubby guessed I would). But, in the name of an easy gathering, I'm standing strong in SIMPLE. Fingers crossed it all goes well. 

I NEED the tomatoes!!!!!! (One of the businesses not responding.) 

In other news, a very nice pharmacist helped me get my hormone patch (different kind). While I waited, I shopped at CVS. Hello, new body wash, new nail polish for my toes, new nail tools. Sometimes I forget shopping at a store can be fun.

Next shopping experience is for the canning items. I think a Walmart trip is in order. Not sure I can fit it in this week, but I'm going to try. I'd like to get ahead on my list a bit. I think that's where some of the anxiety is coming from -- down to the wire on things with no wiggle room. Wiggle room is the thing that relaxes me the most when I have a lot on my plate. 

On that note, I need to get moving. Have a good day. Later gators.

Hello, Monday and Worry

Hello, Monday. 

I enjoy a Monday.

I especially enjoy a solo Monday. 

That said, I'm in a bit of an anxiety mood. Woke up several times last night in panic about EVERYTHING and essentially, NOTHING. That feeling is lingering this morning, although it's starting to dissipate as I calm myself down.

Hormones?? Maybe. Probably. Hopefully. 

I have a couple of fussy (and I mean very, very small, not a big deal) things that are lingering on my to-do list. I feel stupid saying them, but they are giving me all the anxiety feels.

1. Returning a pricey hiking bag to REI because I took off the tags and have no receipt. It should be fine -- I'm a member and that looks like it's in policy, but I'm worried about it.

2. No response from the farm on the tomatoes I ordered for this week. My entire summer supper is tomato based and if I can't get tomatoes from them, where do I can farm fresh ones?? Do I need to change (and complicate) the menu for Friday?

3. The hormone patch is out of stock everywhere and I can't seem to figure it out. I have to go to the pharmacy in-person today because the automated system is shit. I still don't know if I'll get an answer. I've been working on this for 2 weeks now.

4. Peach jam canning is a bigger endeavor than I realized -- lots of supplies. Not a big deal, but something to add to my increasingly full schedule. 

Then a pile-up of things-to-do that suddenly feel like a lot. 

Also, every night add worry about the possible hiking trip next year. There are two HUGE hurdles before it's even a possibility and yet I worry all the time about whether I can travel un-pampered. Ridiculous, honestly I see it too.

Got a new pillow for neck support and it helped -- so that brought on the "how can I travel without it and hike all week" mind drama. 

I'm going to work on a few of these today and hopefully that'll ease the worry. 

How's the summer of unbothered an ease going, you ask?!?! Hah!

Yesterday was such a good day. Fun brunch with the kids. 

Chatted with the DILs and now we're going to Hamilton in September. I'm so excited. Also, WORRY because I purchased from a resale dealer. Everything should be fine and looks legit (big name dealer), but scams are so smart these days. So I unlocked a worry about the tickets for the next month. Geez. Three tickets were a lot of money. 

Planning an outdoor run today because they're paving my running route soon. Signs up, but no date, but I'm expecting it to start this week. I'm worried about running under all the trees since we're in spider season. See -- EVERYTHING about NOTHING. I want to go today and go at first light incase the paving starts. On a Monday, early, means no foot traffic to clear the webs for me. EEEEEEKKKKK!!!

Are you sick of hearing my thoughts today? Me too. 

Maybe after a productive day of problem solving, I can relax. 

Have a good Monday and start to the week. 

Do better than I'm doing! Later gators.

Decent Choices

Good decisions. Well done, me.

I'm glad I decided to not just HOPE for something that I have total control over hah!

I did the things.

Farmer's Market with Duke.

Gardened for a couple of hours.

Peloton ride. 

Then so many itty bitty chores that went by the wayside this week. Small -- like restocking my vitamins small, but they add up. I have a bit bigger things to do this week (and some pesky things), but I'm happy with the progress. 

From the garden yesterday. Butterflies everywhere. 

My neighbor and I exchanged goods again -- cucumbers and basil for chicken eggs. I enjoy this neighborly exchange. 

While I was gardening several people walked by and commented on the garden, the inclusion sign, and the rock snake. (The other rock snake at the park has been destroyed again, why??) Love neighbors with kindness. Also, glad I put the rock snake my friends painted on my property. 

This area feels like a community, a neighborhood and we're very lucky to be here.

I found a temporary place for the painting. It's not "hang" worthy, but I need to keep it around. My friend is proud of the paintings and will absolutely want to see mine again when she comes over. I enjoyed the class, but the painting is just okay -- I'd changed some things up if I painted it again.

Martha Beck talks about that with her paintings (she's a true artist). She'll paint the painting multiple times to get it right. She can't see the problem until it's on the canvas and then it's too late to correct, so she does it again.

The oddness of the picture
fits the oddness of the placement hah!

I watched the first episode of the new Ted Lasso. It's okay, not great. I hope it'll find its form as the season continues. 

Brunch with the family late morning. Long walk with Duke first. Then NOTHING again. The week starts off slowly and builds. Sort of a balance, but it won't feel like it as the week goes on. I need to use the quiet time for FS me.

I have no plans this afternoon and, once again, need to stave off the Snacking Sofa Slug desire. I won't begrudge myself TV time, but SSS is different. I know the difference -- as much as my mind likes to act all innocent when it's convincing me otherwise. Man, I wish the weather was cooler. Afternoons are indoor time right now and that's a bummer. The SSS is that much more noisy hah!

That's an issue for later though. I have a fun morning and early afternoon ahead. 

Hope you're having a good weekend. Later gators.

Cartoon Painting

Oh my gosh -- I was up until 11:30 last night. 

I feel jet lagged.

Or hungover. 

I'm going to be fighting the good fight today. It'll be VERY tempting to do nothing all afternoon and watch TV and SNACK. 

Hubby leaves in a couple of hours. I'm walking Duke and stopping at the Farmer's Market for tomatoes and peaches. Garden cleanup when I get home. Maybe (maybe not) a Peloton ride?!?! I slept in a little this morning so missed that window to workout before outside things. 

I'm too foggy to figure out a plan yet, but I really hope to report back tomorrow that I made a different choice. Maybe that choice will include a bonafide nap. Maybe a balance workout and meditation instead of a cardio workout (still no lifting per PT).

Anyway, the painting class was a lot of fun. I wouldn't call it Picasso, more a cartoon version with exaggerated everything (so my practice didn't help lol). The class painted together while watching the instructor paint too. Very well organized and attentive staff. You didn't need to practice since they walked you through the process step-by-step. The class was almost 3 hours long. Only critique -- the brushes were worn and hard to get detail work with clean lines. Maybe I had a bad batch.

What I'm SUPER happy about is this weekend is VERY open and MOSTLY solo. A few things this morning. Brunch with the family tomorrow and otherwise NOTHING. I need time to regroup and organize. It was a rushed week and my little home world feels like a mess. My mind feels like a jumble too. I have time to iron out all the things. 

My closet dressers are set for delivery next week. Yea to a closet reorg!!!!! It's probably a few day event because of my neck -- can't overdue the leaning over, looking down. Praise be -- I CANNOT wait to have it all setup. I want to think through and plan a general layout over the weekend.

My bed is calling me back in the worst way. Funny enough, I wasn't tired during the class, but it's hitting this morning. I'm such an old lady (and always have been). Today's plan SHOULD include an early night. That's the fear of a nap -- will it start me on a cycle of late nights?? Can I function well without one?? Don't want to zombie through the day.

And the irony, I'm too tired to figure it out lol. 

Hope you have a good one. Hope I make good choices. Lots of "hope" happening. See you tomorrow for the lowdown. Later gators. 

Mushrooms and Spiders

The area behind my neck -- where I have a hump is so sore to the touch. It's strange. No issue when I move my head, but feels like a massive bruise. PT said this should help the hump go away. I'll take this as a sign it's working. I'm religiously doing the exercise. 

The hike was fine on my neck, but I had to cut it short because of thunderstorms. I loaded the waist bag and hated the way it felt -- just asking for a lower back problem. I switched to a full hiking backpack with a waist and chest strap. That worked well. End of an era with my old blue pack. I'll return the other bag. 

Hiked with my mushroom friend. 

Mushrooms out in force AND the spiders are back for the season. Holy hell. It was awful. We looked like a couple of nuts the way we had to maneuver around them (I almost fell backwards on my bum). 

Once more people hit the trails, it was better. Early bird gets the webs this time of year. Webs are huge, spiders are moderate, but will grow massive as the season continues -- size of the palm of a hand. The spiders aren't particularly scary YET, but their webs are so dang thick like sticky strings. AWFUL!!! (and invasive). They can rebuild an entire web in 30 minutes. 

This is also the friend who invited me to pick, make, can peach jam with her mom using an old family recipe. We have the dates set for 2 weeks from now. Again, can't tell you how excited I am about it. I love, love, love this invitation! It'll take up most of the week, and I gladly held the calendar open.

Sign waving was fantastic again. Standing Thursday evening permit to gather. Supporting our neighbors who desperately need the support. The waves, horns, smiles -- it's the very LEAST we can do. It feels good to be in community. 

I have a fun evening with a friend at a Picasso Portrait class tonight. She belongs to a study on mental health and the arts. Every month she gets 2 free tickets to a choice an art event. She asked me to go this time. It's in the city (dang, traffic), but we'll go early and get dinner. I'm really looking forward to it, but not to the late evening. Brushing off my big girl panties and going out on a Friday night lol. Plus driving in traffic with storms -- not great for my neck, but I'm not missing this opportunity or asking her to drive. 

Full morning to get ready for my regular Friday coffee meeting. Hope you have a good one. Ready yourself for my art reveal tomorrow hahahaha!! Later gators.

Traffic and Construction (!!)

Yesterday's theme was driving in traffic and construction. I have no idea why so, so, so many road construction projects began the first week of school. It was a cluster-f*&k. I haven't had a driving day like that in a long time. 

PT is THE answer. Like my back, a simple exercise done every hour will get my neck back into place to release the nerve strain. There's no shoulder involvement, it all stems from my neck. Bicep reaction is expected given the nerve involvement and isn't a concern (it was protective). This should correct my neck hump too. I have decent range of motion except for back to front in my neck where I only have 10% of normal. Geez. 

No chiropractor on the neck. 

Ice twice a day, no heat.

Massage is okay, with some neck restrictions, for now.

Pilates is an option in about 6 weeks. 

Hiking with a backpack is also okay, but try for better neck position. 

More pain before better.

I feel recovery is in site now and I'm traveling the correct road now. Phew. 

Lunch was nice, but way, way too far to travel (oh the traffic and construction stops along the way). Our friend was a no-show and a no-text. Left us hanging. We both commented we understood and are happy she's taking care of herself, but it was noted and we'll do it differently next time. A rather complete blow-off for another social choice felt a step too far (and back to something she does a bit too often).

The home garden donation program for the food bank is awesome. We're a roll out, experimental group for the full launch next year. It was born from a community meeting lead by the farm. How can we help a community in need AND be prepared if things get worse. How can we be good neighbors? Community leaders, charity leaders, and the MASSIVE churches in the area were invited. 

Guess who's doing NOTHING??? Yep, the massive churches. They have land, resources, money, etc and said they couldn't help. Everyone else is stepping up with resources and aid. Guess they're too busy counting their money. 

Guess who does have community gardens, etc that feed people in need? Small, minority run churches. Of course. Did we expect otherwise?

More on this as it begins in September. 

I'm hiking for the first time in quite a bit this morning. Half with a friend, half solo (unless my neck needs to shorten the solo bit). I have the waist bag packed, but I might switch to a lighter backpack. I don't want to screw up my balance or hips. I'm on the fence. 

Then ...

Dentist appointment.

Maybe grandson pickup (no holding him on my left side).

Sign waving (might just lean the sign against my body so my neck is relaxed.)

These next 2 days are full with days that run into the evening and full of things-that-bother my neck. Ugh. I'll be as careful and deliberate as I can and do more and more of the neck exercises. She says I can't do too many. By the end of the afternoon, my neck needs a break, but not today or tomorrow. I'll be more careful scheduling for the next couple of weeks. 

What will aggravate my neck the most? All positional, especially looking down.

Reading.

Computer (I have my laptop propped on pillows on my lap).

Phone.

Hiking.

Painting at my desk.

Journaling at my desk.

Cooking.

Peloton position. 

Meditation position.

Sleeping position.

Pretty much my entire life hah. 

She said the challenge is settling the inflammation down while continuing with life activities. 

Okay, have to run. Early hike with a drive, but worth it (hopefully not insane traffic with school back). I love this trail. Beautiful, well groomed, lots of loops so lots of distance options. Sadly, miserably humid morning STILL. Guess it is August in GA.

Have a good day. Later gators.

IMAX 70mm

The movie and IMAX 70 experience was fantastic. 

Maybe because it's been a long minute since I've been to a movie theater?

Maybe because it was a matinee?

I don't know, but I loved both. 

Hubby didn't love the movie or the IMAX -- enjoyed it, didn't love it.

It surprised me how much I did.

You could feel the vibrations all around from the sound system. It was so immersive. Hubby thought the theater was too light, but it wasn't from ambient lighting, it was because the screen was enormous. 

Lots of action and violence, but many tender parts too. And, I cried at the one part -- no spoilers, but it was beautiful scene with an animal. 

I have PT today. My shoulder feels really good this morning. That said, I'm not doing my normal workouts, etc so not sure if things will go right back when I get back at it. I'm most curious about today and hope to get the go-ahead to start pilates. 

I have a lunch "outing" with a friend, maybe friends. We planned this day for our friend who lost her husband. Her idea, etc. She might be backing out for another social option. Now, I want to give her all the grace she needs and this is a time when she should do what's best for her ... but ... this is very typical of her. Other plans means she bails and doesn't bail until plans are being confirmed/reminded the day before. 

No way either of us would go to this trouble to meet at this place, on this day, etc. Since she's a "maybe" we're still going. It'll be nice and such, but geez. As often, I complain she needs to be proactive about canceling. This is why you don't make plans with her more than a couple days ahead. It's noted for next time.

I'm still engaging with her, etc. but moving back toward my quiet boundary about making plans with her. Of course, I'll be available for favors, etc, but a more specific available for social stuff. She's another someone I only make plans that I don't mind if she cancels or changes to a last minute maybe (i.e. something I'd happily do anyway or either way). Today was not that. 

BTW, I understand. I really think she needs to think most about herself right now and what that is changes day to day. But, she's done this for the 13 years we've been friends and that's why I know I need to go back to my unspoken boundaries. 

I'll round out the evening at a garden meeting to set up for donations to a local food bank. I'm slightly on the fence about whether I qualify with enough to donate (especially for a fall garden). It's at no cost to them or me, so I expect I'll give it a go and see if it makes sense to continue for next year's summer garden when I know I'll have donations. 

Speaking of the garden, it's almost time to pull most of it. I've pulled a couple of things -- cucumbers, early beans, tomato plant. Time for more to go. I have a second planting of some things growing (beans, cucumbers), but I need room for the fall plants in the next couple of weeks. 

Hubby leaves on Saturday for 8 day golf trip (staying at a friend's house) so I have a lot of solo time coming up. That's when I like to get into the gardening projects. 

Have a good day. I hope I'll have good PT news to report. Later gators.

Another No-Hike Tuesday

Chiropractor was better than I expected. He says lots of "out of alignment" causing the issue. Give it 2 days and it'll be okay. We'll see. I have PT on Wednesday so I think I'll get that evaluation before I try to do a bicep curl. It feels better than it has this morning though, so maybe ...

Spent the afternoon babysitting my grandson -- so fun. He started his new classroom yesterday and it was a hard day for him (lots of tears). He was so happy to be picked up. Transitions are hard for him for a couple of days. Sweet boy.  

I got bit by a bug of some sort on my back. Huge reaction -- swelling, stinging, welts all down my back. It STILL bothers me this morning. Almost like a stinger is still in the bite, but I can't reach it. Hubby tried to help, but big, thick fingers did nothing lol. It's always SOMETHING. Good lord. 

Speaking of bugs -- these appeared to be doing some sort of nasty on my window. It was quite a show.

Once again, I'm not hiking with the Tuesday group. It's faded into the background. I'm not ready to drop it entirely, but it's coming close to it. I still want to hold some connections to these women and the text thread is the best way. I was planning to hike next week, and plans came up (a favor for the kids). Might be able to go to lunch though. I don't purposely make plans on a Tuesday, but I never hold the day anymore. I told the group I could hike next week -- often "that" person decides to do an off week when I announce it. Curious if that'll hold true. I won't update until she announces plans for the day.

Matinee at the IMAX 70 for The Odyssey this morning (best day for the better seats). We're lucky enough to live about 45 minutes from one of the few theaters in the US. Won't miss this opportunity. I'm very excited about the theater experience, but not sure about the actual movie. VERY happy about the morning viewing though. Daytime vs nighttime is never a contest for me. 

This is EVERYTHING on my calendar today. Easy peasy. No chores, nothing at all. Of course the entire event will be about 5 hours with drive time, etc. so it's most of the day. I should have some late afternoon time to putz around. Creative stuff?? 

That's all from here this morning. I hope your week is going well. Later gators.

Start from the End

Hello, Monday my old friend. 

I love you so much more since I retired. 

Easily my favorite day of the week. 

Funny how perspectives change. 

Anyway, this is a good week with a good balance. 

Chiropractor, PT, dentist. 

A number of "special" social things (more on these later). 

A few volunteer things ramping up.

Decent space between it all. 

All brought to me by selective yes and no decisions. 

I got those pesky chores finished yesterday and that ALWAYS sets me up in a good way. I could've squeezed them in the space around the things this week, but that would set the balance askew. 

It's also the first Monday of the month and this month feels like a FS kind of month. The balance this week is indicative of the balance all month. 

Productive.

Self care.

Group social.

Fun. 

"Special" events. 

Curious how I'll feel at the end of it. Have you ever heard the technique of planning your time backwards? START with how you want to feel at the end (of the day, week, month, life) and plan backwards. I've done it before -- remembering it now and it's worth a go again.

How do I want to feel at the end of this week? Stronger and lighter?? Hahaha -- yep. This kind of sums it up. I'm going to filter this week and month through that mantra and see how it feels at the end. 

Jinxing it??? or creating something intentional. We'll see lol. 

Look at these cuties. 

Today is the chiropractor appointment. I don't have high hope for this appointment in terms of relief, but I want to see what he thinks about my shoulder pain and bicep weakness. I feel a lot better since the massage, but there's still something wrong and wrong enough that I'm not taking a chance of hurting it more. 

Have a good start to the week and month, maybe something intentional and starting from the end?!?  

I'm giving it a go too.

Later gators. 

Sunday Updates

It was a nice solo day. 

I got little pesky things finished and had time for that list I made yesterday.

Farmer's Market for peaches, corn, and tomatoes. 

Painted the Picasso Portrait practice -- it's okay. I hope I do better in the class on Friday.

Perfect ordinary day meditation. Lights out, candle burning. Looks like a seeing eye. 

Saw this little guy from the kitchen window -- landed on a post in the garden and stayed awhile. 

The garden has a tomato hornworm. He's eating up my tomato plants and I can't find him. Took the black light out and searched and searched. Little stinker. Every morning there's more damage so I know he's still going and growing!! I can usually find them with a little effort -- not so far. 

In all my "things" yesterday, I forgot to water my outdoor pots. Eeeeek. Hot and sunny day. I'll make it up to them today. 

Today is a list of chores -- not my favorite things, but I'll be glad to have them finished before the week begins. But first, a fun morning. Coffee with hubby and Duke. Visit to see my grandson and play cars for a bit. 

Oh -- we have a preliminary baby name and I LOVE it. Margot. Beautiful, classic, not too popular, not trendy, not strange. The runner-ups so far are not my favorite. Celeste. Celine. And some other name I had no idea how to spell. I hope Margot is her name!

Got to get going. I woke up, turned off my alarm, fell back to sleep. Geez. It's later than I'd like and the morning is going quickly.

Have a great day. Later gators.

Waxing Poetic

A little more ramblings of what's on my mind lately.

I'm still overthinking thinking about decisions. An interesting distinction is "what I want" vs "what I need." This came into play this week. There was something I would've jumped to do another time, but this week ahead was not the week. If I said yes, I would be overwhelmed, tired, even a bit resentful. In the past, I would've said yes because it's something I wanted to do so I SHOULD find a way to do it. 

When (if) I ask the universe to give me these kind of opportunities (experiences), and they come up, I should automatically say yes. Right?!?

But I NEEDED something different. 

I said no. 

And I'm disappointed. 

And I know this was absolutely the right decision for me.   

Slowly learning. 

Another little thing on my mind is a meditation practice from Martha Beck. You imagine a perfect ordinary day in your life ahead using all your senses. It's a fun (but long) meditation. 

There's a part in the visualization that I see myself walking in the morning to a coffeeshop. I'm carrying garden veggies and some jars with flowers and herbs. I'm meeting people I know and we're talking and such. It's not a coffee date, just meeting up with people at the coffeeshop. I'm sharing the garden stuff. Talking, laughing, feeling community, familiar friendly faces. 

I've seen this in the mediation for a few years. And it now happens most Friday mornings. Of course the picture in my head is a different look (but not as different as you'd think), but it's that imagined image in real life. I walked to the coffeeshop yesterday, skirt flowing in the breeze, carrying a vase of herbs and a cooler of cucumbers. 

The FEELING matched that meditation feeling exactly.

It makes me excited to think about the other aspects of that "perfect ordinary day."

I believe it's less about manifesting ANYTHING and more about your subconscious knowing what you want or knowing what's in store for your life if you listen. I wouldn't imagine singing in a musical, for example, even though I'm fascinated with those who do that well. 

Anyway ... those are my thoughts on a Saturday morning. 

I'm solo today without a car. Hubby is taking my car to Asheville to deliver a beverage refrigerator because ours broke. He needs a bigger car. I won't drive his lol (long story, nothing bad). 

This means a morning of walking -- farmers market and library return and then a day at home. 

Feels like a FS kind of day. That might be why I have all this kind of stuff on my mind. 

Farmer's market.

Painting.

Making soup. 

Fussing around my plants. 

Meditation (maybe a "perfect ordinary day" ... hmmmm). 

As I often say, I need to use this day for good, not evil. Taking the time to do the things that make me feel good (a.k.a not be a snacking sofa slug all day).

I hope you have a good day. 

Off to walk with Duke to the market. 

Living in a walking town is a luxury I'm forever grateful for and hope I never take it for granted. 

Later gators.

Home Sweet Home

I'm home!

Lots of balls in the air right now. I'm hovering on the edge of overwhelm, but actually doing better than I usually do. Making an effort to balance the calendar better. SPACE, not specifically for nothing, but space to do the quiet things that ground me. 

Garden, cook, creative time, meditation. 

This makes me feel like I'm not giving myself to a to-do list. 

I said no to a few things recently and that's opened space for yeses that matter to me. It's not always so obvious to me, but coaching talks a lot about listening to your body's first reaction. What do you feel before your mind jumps in for an answer. Sometimes the no is a disappointment, but my body knows saying yes isn't right for me in that moment.

This works both ways too. My mind says no way, but I felt the yes in my body first. This happens when fear jumps in to answer the question (aka hiking trip, new volunteer case). 

I'm working on it. 

I want this full life. 

I love the variety. 

I enjoy what I'm doing. 

Yet, I get caught in too much and overwhelm. 

How can I balance things? Watching and feeling that first visceral reaction is interesting. Sometimes I override it because it's not a big deal or circumstance warrant it (i.e. favor for family kind of thing), but I still notice it. 

That's what's on my mind this early morning. A few new yeses and a few recent nos prompted this little chat. 

I have a full day of things today (all good things) starting with a packed morning BUT, the weekend is nothing at all and plenty of time for balance. More on this all tomorrow. 

Little photo moment at the teahouse on the way home. While I waited I added a little note to the wall. What a fun idea for everyone. It's such a welcoming little place in a sea of not-so-welcoming stuff in that little town. 

Have a good day. Later gators. 

P.S. I often mistype 'gators' and it autocorrects to 'haters.' Kind of funny.

See You Soon, Asheville

Here's a little recap of the day.

The mountain walk was beautiful -- foggy, ominous. I saw this stack of 3 for my mushroom picture exchange with a friend. 

. 

I was incredibly hungry and nothing to eat at the house after I tossed the refrigerator, but I was determined to go to the restaurant for an early lunch so I waited for the restaurant to open and thrifted a bit ahead. 

The thrift stores weren't what I was looking for -- not "treasure" hunting, but more like places for people in need so I wrapped it up and headed into the town. 

I never would've stumbled on this restaurant because it looks like a dump down an abandoned road. Nope -- darling South African restaurant. They grow their produce in gardens and large green house, have farm animals. Lovely and I'm glad I waited to eat so I could try it.

Traditional dish. Chutney.
Saffron rice. Beef, eggs, raisin.

Also traditional.
Dried beef and apricot.

My sister's plans changed for the day so she met me for the afternoon and we vintage shopped. I got this fun little rainbow ring. 

It catches the rainbow
in the sunlight.

We ended with a quick visit to the teahouse. I was so dang hot that I got an iced chai instead of the usual, but it was nice to go again.

Home to cleanup and bed EARLY. It felt good to sleep. I was out in minutes. 

I started the exit chores this morning. Sheets in the washer, dishwasher, etc. I'll grab a to-go from a breakfast place to eat for lunch on the road. It won't be a straight shot home. I'll stop at a teahouse, stop for gas, break to eat. I need to be back for a sign-waving at 4:30.

This trip was a mixed bag. I was so relaxed on Tuesday until the storm and everything seemed a bit hard-ish since. They're paving our neighborhood and trees down and power lines still hanging low. It's rolling the dice to figure out how to get to the house depending on where work is happening. I had to try 2 routes to leave (turning around on these streets requires a 50 point turn) and 4 routes to get back. Road access was closed or blocked by vehicles. Luckily there are a lot of little side loop roads. Dang. 

I actually had to stop the car and get out to look at my wheels. I was afraid one side was going to slide off the embankment the access around was so ridiculously tight.

Stopped at the grocery store to replace the breakfast stuff I tossed and it was crowded. I had to circle to get a space. I forget it's technically the city. It took so long to stop for a few items. I was hot and tired and thirsty. Then the crazy driving to get back to the house. Yesterday didn't run smoothly, although nothing was actually wrong and there were a lot of good moments. 

This trip was an adventure of sorts. I'm leaving feeling a bit tired and ready to go home. 

Next trip is in a few weeks. 

Have a good day. Later gators.

WHAT a day!!!!!

Incredible massage. 

Worth coming up to Asheville. 

Worth the $$. 

I'm all loosey-goosey.

I came straight home after the massage -- too relaxed to do anything else. 

No teahouse. 

No meal out (ate what I brought from home -- turns out that was a good decision). 

I listened to a couple of webinars that I hadn't gotten to -- quiet and relaxing. 

I also started a few practice drawings. A friend belongs to a wellness study and gets free tickets to things -- she gets to bring a companion.

She's taking me to a Picasso Portrait painting class. I'm cheating a little and practicing from tutorials. I don't have paints in Asheville so I'll give it a go when I get home. I'm practicing because I have a hard time be artistic in a group setting -- not enough time to contemplate. No quiet space to figure it out. It's not because I want to be "good" haha. It's about wanting to have the creative ideas already brewing. I have no idea what the class will be like and this might not help, but it's actually kind of fun. I plan to do a "real" painting for my bedroom art wall.

Stay tuned for the colored version Picasso style.

Then DRAMA.

Tornado warning, seek shelter immediately. 

So scary. I was in the basement for an hour. Storm was sudden and massive. Tornado missed us by a few miles. When the warning came it was that strange light in the sky with absolute stillness. No sounds, no breeze. That's when you know it's serious. Then bam!!!

Lost power for 10 hours (glad I ate the food, everything else is getting pitched.)

What a night and I'm grateful nothing is damaged.

I have no idea what the situation is in other areas -- I'll find out today. So many rescue sirens after the storm (for hours). Also, who knew Asheville had tornado sirens? That's an ominous sound (I remember from living in Ohio as a kid.)

That was a full range day. Ultimate relaxation to ultimate stress. 

On another note ... 

I started inviting some girlfriends to a Summer Supper (tomato themed --- hopefully still available at the farm) before the outdoor concert in August. Ladies only. Part of hosting something easy and themed. I'm going to practice some Priya Parker gathering ideas. Stay tuned. 

A friend declined since she's out of town, but invited me to come along the following week with her and her visiting mom to a peach farm and then home to make peach preserves. YES!!!!!! Couldn't say it fast and loud enough. How stinking fun is this?!?! Once I learn, totally taking this idea for future gatherings. 

I love, love, love finding creative friends. 

Now for today. 

Thrift crawl in Black Mountain (assuming no lingering storm stuff)

Lunch at a South African restaurant. 

But first, mountain walk. Bears?!?! Maybe. Nothing too long, but I'd like a little nature time before a shopping day. Also assuming there aren't too many down trees, etc. 

Needless to say, I had a crappy night's sleep. I have ZERO sleep resilience. It did feel like camping with the windows open and no fan noise. I heard ALL the critters. Power crews arrived a little before 4 o'clock and that woke me up for the morning. Lord, they've had a long night. 

Maybe I need to work on sleep resilience a bit ... especially if I hope to do a hiking trip with the club. None of the luxuries of home AND a roommate for 8 nights. Eeek. 

I hope for a less eventful day.

Hope you're having a good week. 

Later gators. 

Asheville

I've been in an odd pattern with Asheville lately.

Good morning, easy drive, great mood. 

Arrive.

Feel sad and want to go home?!?!? 

What is this? Happened again yesterday. Woke up and it's all gone and I'm happily in Asheville mode again. New travel issue unlocked? I'm ignoring it. WTH -- not starting this drama. 

So .........

Asheville morning has been all "Asheville."

Decided to run this morning and I'll walk tomorrow. I've already seen 6 bears. They're out in force right now. It NEVER gets old and I hope it never does. Nature is amazing. 

On the cooldown walk -- whimsy in Asheville. 

Someone's backyard.
That's a bold choice in the best way.

Before I left for Asheville. Garden fail. This HUGE cucumber hid in one of the small garden beds. I cleaned it out. Picked things. Went around it over and over AND NEVER SAW IT. I thought the little chonker was a miss until I found saw this granddaddy. 

Bottom on is regular size.
Chunky in the middle.
HUGE at the top.

Back at the house getting ready to plan the rest of the visit. 

Looking forward to the massage this afternoon. 

Have a good day. Later gators.

Off to Asheville ...

I liked my day yesterday. It was a good balance.

I took care of myself and my future self with things that matter to me. 

Walked before the adopt-a-road cleanup. 

Made a summer veggie soup to stock the freezer.

Finished the sign-waving posters (nothing fancy, but easy to read from the road).

Sorted out some hormone RX things for this week (lots of backorder pbs). 

Managed to pick up said RX just as the pharmacy closed. 

Well done, me. 

I'm heading to Asheville for a few days. Massage tomorrow to work on the shoulder/neck issue. 

Chores this morning before I leave though. It's a trip I don't get to just walk out the door, but I'm in no real rush. I don't expect to go out today. I'll fuss around the house, read, early to bed. Tuesday and Wednesday are the "fun" days. 

I can't believe I'm saying this, but I haven't gone to the teahouse for the last couple of months. The timing hasn't worked out. It's not the pull it once was -- guess things are shifting a bit. Planning to go this trip though and I wonder if I'll have missed or it's falling off my "usual."

I'm not sure what I'm doing on Wednesday, but Tuesday is a mountain walk and massage. I'll be toast in the best way (hopefully) after the massage so nothing Tuesday evening, but relaxing.

The temps look better on Wednesday. Some version of thrifting, nature, new restaurant, teahouse. Home early Thursday. 

Even though I'm in not particular rush, I best get going. I have a long list before I get out the door. Have a good start to the week. Later gators.