Hello, mood.
I'm sorry, but are you surprised?
Ying-yang rollercoaster. The 50-50.
I'll try to keep my woes brief (spoiler alert, I didn't).
The problem.
Too dang much on my calendar!!!!!!!
I'm worn out.
I want to sleep in.
Slow roll a morning that has so many mandatory things I've lost count.
I'm rushed from the minute I wake up.
Go, go, go.
I'm barely getting out the door on time.
Even when I don't have an obligation on the calendar, I'm up and going to do outdoor things before the heat sets in because it's the only morning I have space to do it.
Where is a truly NOTHING morning??
Where is time to work on MY goals??
Contemplate.
Do I sound a little crazy? I feel it this morning. Peach Fest is taking up way too much time. I'm enjoying it (and hopefully enjoying today too), but it's eaten up so much of this week. I've had to backfill other things around it making for an overfilled feeling. I woke up wishing I didn't have to go today. I don't care about canning peaches. I just wanted to see the canning process, spend time with a couple of great ladies, and make some jam (sadly, only jelly).
Looking down the barrel of a 12 hour day. No early or late window for much of anything. Neck pain galore today. It's too much.
I have a friend visiting next weekend for 4 days. I'm coordinating with a local friend to join us. I'm driving AGAIN. Literally and figuratively. All the plans. All the timing. Up late. Up early. Hosting. Taking care of everyone. Prep ahead. Clean up after.
September and every weekend is full. Every single one. Already. And, it's stuff I'm leading, planning, coordinating.
So what am I going to do about it? I complain regularly and loudly -- that's not a solution. I MUST block out more than one little morning occasionally. I need to hold firm to SPACE in my schedule. I need to say no to things that I'd like to do to make this space.
I'm contemplating a regular commitment to myself. What if most Mondays are clear? All day for me. What if every Tuesday and Thursday is an open morning? Three mornings. One afternoon. Regularly. Not always, but more than occasionally.
No grand declaration. Just a quiet unavailability.
"Would love to thrift with you, but I'm only available in the afternoon." Doesn't work? Let's try another day. ------- Something like this. Can I do it? I certainly can give it a go with social stuff. Maybe not as much with other volunteer commitments.
I know when the weather breaks some of this rushed feeling will take care of itself. I can hike later. Run later. Garden later. Dog walk later.
Okay, I'm out of complaining time. I'm sure you wonder how I complain about not having any morning time and typed this entire rant. I've started and stopped so many times to do things. That's part of the rushed feeling.
Unload the dishwasher.
Let the dog out.
Pack my lunch for today.
Neck exercises.
Make the bed.
Water the porch plants ... etc.
Could I use journaling time for other things? Sort of. I can't wake up and workout. I need time to move out the kinks first. Same with meditation -- first thing and I'll just fall asleep. It's dark outside so I can't get in the garden yet. You get the idea.
Anyway, I REALLY am out of time.
Hope you have a good day.
Hope canning goes more quickly than expected.
Later gators.
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