Update on everything ME

Let's talk about ME (again)!

This week has been a rollercoaster.  Moods, cravings, workouts, weather.  Up and down and up and down.

Moods:  I've had a lot of HAPPY feels.  The Whole30 kind when I find myself happy for no apparent reason.  It's the best kind of HAPPY.  I'm not feeling as much as I usually do on a Whole30, probably because I'm working on head STUFF.  But see below for my "other" mood.

Cravings:  I had my first real cravings this week.  Not for anything in particular -- craving to snack and mindlessly eat.  I'm not sure why.  This week was less stress than it's been lately.  Was is a happy mood craving??  One night I indulged in food-after-dinner or what I called an "extended" dinner.  All compliant, all healthy ... but I wasn't hungry.  I stopped that shit quickly.  I don't need to go down that road.

Workouts:  I felt really good at the beginning of the week.  Boxing, running ... then my legs hit the wall again and the thought of walking up the stairs felt like an event.  What's up RECOVERY??

Weather:  Hot (mostly), stormy (a lot) ... but a couple of mornings with lower humidity.  Have to laugh at our local weather guy (who I see on the Today Show local weather segments).  Today's high of 93 will feel like 94 with the humidity factored in.  Does he hear himself LOL?!?!  Gave me a laugh over and over since it's a taped recording for all the local weather reports.

I've been doing well with scheduling time for myself AND time for fun.  Nail appointments, massages, friend time. NO PHONE time is a beautiful thing (no text messages, no FB messenger - just quiet).  It's so nice to have it off (I need to remember to turn it on again).  I'm on a great book streak - James Patterson (10th Anniversary) followed by Gail Honeyman (Eleanor Oliphant).

I'm also setting some good boundaries.  No is no and I don't need to give a big reason why every time.  Reasons why are reasons for people to push back, negotiate, etc.

That's what's going well.  I'm in a strange funk with my Whole30 mental stamina though.  I was going strong - extending to 40 days.  I'm not where I need to be yet and I want to keep going.  Then I hit the blahs.  Here's an excerpt of my brain ramblings - hold on to your seats folks.  *Actual mind conversation*

I don't feel like doing this.
I'm ready to have a glass of wine.
Moderating is good too.
I need to learn to moderate so a glass of wine is good practice.
I should still have stuff to work on before the August Project Healthy Body starts.
I'm good enough now.
Who cares if things don't fit.
I should have celebrated with food for my birthday.
I want to celebrate hubby's birthday and the 4th with food.
Food is joy.
Dessert is fine.
Why did I ever think I shouldn't eat dessert?

The last couple of days, I've been bloated and gassy (first time since I started - hubby should feel lucky to be out of town LOL).  I feel yucky - all progress in the pants-fitting area is halted with the bloat. (Smart brain knows bloat is different and will go away -- dramatic brain thinks why bother because this is a total failure.)  And, more invites coming on the calendar for my extended 10 days.  I don't want to say no because of Whole30, but I can't drink and it will feel less fun.  Or maybe not.  (My brain is so crazy right now.)

The truth is I don't need to FEEL like doing it, I just need to DO IT.  So Whole30 continues and as my pity party is in full swing (pity parties are way more fun with wine).  I can stomp and kick and scream and be totally bummed as long as I continue forward.

It's been such a strong feeling, I almost ate something non-compliant (and it was DESSERT) just to fail so I could actually fail.  I told you - CRAZY TRAIN!  It was such a close call.  Good lord - what is happening to me?!?!

Maybe it's being bloated (probiotic to the rescue - hopefully) and being under slept (ugh - dog stuff) and being physically tired (muscle recovery MIA) and being emotionally tired (setting boundaries is hard stuff).  When I say it this way, no wonder I've entered pity party realm.

Today's stuff:

I'm on the fence about boxing.  My body is tired, but this is the only day I can box until next Tuesday.  I have another hour to figure it out ... rest or boxing.
UPDATE: I'm doing a light arm day at home today - decision made.

I have my coaching call this afternoon.  I don't know if I feel like sharing all this stuff.  I probably should - that's the point of coaching.

Lots of Releash Atlanta work today.  I'm a bit burned out, but plugging along.

That's all the stuff about ME!  Thrilling, huh?!?  Later gators!