Most of my new friends have never seen a picture of me during this time (and probably never will). This picture represents misery in my life. Unhappy with ME, unhappy with my job, unhappy in general. It's not about the weight only - it's about what the weight represents in my life.
I don't feel empowered looking at this picture - how far I've come. I don't feel motivated by the picture - I'll never go back. I feel sad and shameful. Wearing my troubles on the outside.
In prep for Project Healthy Body (PHB), I took it out. It's hard to see. It's hard to remember. Maybe it's time to share (here - privately - which, of course, is ironic since this is the cyber-world).
So there it is ... out there for consumption.
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In other news ....
Yesterday was such a sad day. Sad for Ellie, sad for her mama. I cried the entire day. Top it off, Jack took a bad turn and he's staying at the vet for a few days. I'm relieved to have a break, but worried about him. It was a yucky day.
AGAIN - I want to turn this bad streak around and have a better day today. Boxing class at 9:30, something fun this afternoon (not planning just yet - that hasn't worked well for me lately), 5 o'clock call with my coach. Fingers crossed!! Pretty please ....
I've been killing it with Whole30. On plan. No snacking (came close last night, but held strong). Good meals. Blowing through my freezer stash though. I'll need to start a cook-up next week. I don't have the energy (physical or mental) this week. I'm starting to see the good stuff ... so I'm hanging on and holding focus.
HAPPY Tuesday! Maybe, hopefully!!! Later gators.
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