And Life Spins ...

Good and not good.  

Got my monthly -- that's why a lot of the drama seems dramatic.  I have better perspective this morning.

Kids okayed Top Golf for rehearsal.  They "forgot" to check out menu plan, but they texted later in the day.  I had to do the follow up, but ... okay.  That can be managed.  Signing the contract with deposit today.

My son dropped, what felt like, a bombshell.  Wedding is probably an evening wedding again.  Were you thinking of texting me?  Letting me know it was possibly changing?  Yesterday morning I finished buying ALL the accessories, etc for a day wedding.  

I called my college roommate who is a fashion designer grad and she talked me off the fashion ledge.  My new dress is fine, a couple of accessories can be modified if I need to and it'll be okay.  An evening wedding means my hair needs to last ALL DAY and NIGHT.  DIY hair might not have that kind of life.  Practice is beginning again soon.

On the dog front ...

Duke cornered a squirrel in our yard and that was a fun moment.  Both are okay.  Coby's adopter got to see the drama unfold on FaceTime.  I was not cool and collect.  

Coby is going on trial on Saturday now.  Business obligations couldn't be changed and I today is a horrible weather day -- that's fine.  I was counting on him going today, but I can work around.  He's sweet and easy, but it's always easier with just my two.

Blue might be getting returned for aggressive biting people.  She's having a crisis as her husband had a heart attack and is in the hospital.  Looks like a full recovery and he should come home today, but Blue face bit her neighbor who let him out.  I was on the phone for a longtime with her AFTER I had lights out.  We won't be able to take him back until after the wedding, so he'll need a new foster.  She wants to try a few things first.  Sounds like they are doing a lot to help him, but they need a trainer to respond to her calls.  We referred her to a trainer and a vet who specializes in behavior issues.  Doesn't help it's rain all week and he hates going outside in the rain.  Sounds like the last couple of weeks, he's falling apart.  Aggressive, destructive, nervous.  Poor baby.  Poor them too.  

I was a hot mess of zig zag emotions.  Good stuff followed immediately by downer stuff.  Up and down and all around.  

I'm calling this week a WASH.  Hang on tight and focus inward.  I need to center and settle.  Hormones might be calming down and that will help a lot.  It's really a big deal.  I'm going to do more research on life style and hormone balance.  Glad this burst of mood and things (cravings, sweating, etc) ended up being my monthly.

Taking off all extraneous pressures this week.  ME and the basics.  Not pushing into any new goals or big to-do list stuff.  Hair practice can wait.  Wedding planning can wait.  Blue worries are not mine to carry -- I can help, but not hold the worry.  Bookclub reading will happen or it won't -- no pressure.  

I also need to figure out a rosacea flare up that's pretty bad.  Maybe chi seed pudding?  That's my only diet change.  I stopped it.  Maybe cold showers because I'm really reactive after activating my chilblains this year -- my toes are in steady state reaction.  When one flares, does the other flare?  Maybe my face cream medication is expired.  I've used expired before, but perhaps it's a dud -- I'm calling dermatologist today to get more cream.  Maybe hormones?  I'm trying one thing at a time to see if I can figure it out.  It's uncomfortable and very obvious -- red, burning and now the pimples are starting.  Perfect right before the wedding.

Spinning and spinning.  I'd like a little break.  Nothing is horrible (thankful for that) but all this little stress on top of the bigger stresses have me in a bad place.

As I'm typing this ... I remember I changed up my espresso recently and am having full caffeine in the morning and full decaf in the afternoon.  Maybe that's contributing to both my anxiety and the rosacea.  Too much caffeine.  I'm sensitive, but seem to be able to handle more lately.  Maybe I pushed too far.  Changing that up immediately, but gradually to avoid a headache.  

Problem solving.  It's amazing, but I wouldn't mind a break from having to spin.

Okay, enough.  Dogs need me.  Have a happy day.  Stay well.  Later gators.