Random Sunday Pictures and Stuff

Coby went out for a trial adoption to a lovely couple.  He's doing super so far.  The dogs posed themselves -- how cute is this?!?  Fingers crossed.

Here's the decaf coffee beans I got from Amazon.  It's a medium roast and I usually get a dark roast, but it smells nice.  I have to wait to finish up what's already in the machine before I try it.  It's not inexpensive, but no good beans are and I drink espresso black -- that makes bean flavor important.  

Last minute aisle purchase from Trader Joe's ($5).  Not sure if it's seasonal for Valentine's Day or it's always available, but it's really nice.  Light scent and rich cream.  I don't often use scented hand creams because a lot of them end up drying out your hands.  This doesn't -- wish I picked up a few for gifts.  You bet I'm looking for it this week.

Got an update from a foster we had for over 5 months -- Jack Jack.  Two years later, he still uses his favorite toy we sent with him.  Look at this scruffy boy.  He has the heart of a caretaker and helps any dog or person who is hurt, sad, anxious.  He would make an awesome therapy dog.

Today is a full day and I'm not sure how I feel about it.  Kids coming over to play games and that means me cooking.  Normally, I'd have most of it prepped and ready.  I have nothing done.  It's not a big deal, but it will tire out my back.  Mac & cheese with bacon, salad with all the yummy stuff -- that translates to dishes and lots of steps.  Dessert is TJs chocolate pastries that need to rise overnight -- I forgot.  They should have enough time to rise before dinner because I was up early.  I have some munchies to start too.

I wanted to make soup for myself since I can't eat the mac & cheese, but I won't have time.  No one would eat the soup or I would've just made that with a salad.  Guess I'll do salad and a quick pan salmon for me.

Bookclub is at 3 o'clock today.  Not sure how that's going to fit in with everything.  I may or may not go OR I might go for a little bit to say hello and let them know I need to leave early.

It feels a little like I got run over from what I want for today -- all because I wanted a break yesterday.  Still working on balance in my life and where my personal boundaries fit in with family time.

Next stop ... Monday.  Monday and the start of a new month.  That combination begs attention.  Tweaking things a little, sitting up straighter, refocusing some priorities, taking a big breath, planning some productivity.  Yep, I like those kind of "combination" days.

See you tomorrow.  Stay well.  Later gators.

Anxiety -- Step #1

I'm working on getting this constant hum of anxiety under control.

I know this has been A YEAR, and it might be contributing to feeling anxious, but I don't think it's MY full story.  True, there is worry over COVID and worry over wedding -- but the worry I'm talking about is random and unfounded.

A hawk will fly from the trees and grab my dog.

The new bone I gave the dogs is one of those treats that ends up having poison in it because my one dog is coughing a little and acting strange (I buy a good brand, made in US, they've had many times).

I'm going to get a flat tire from driving near construction site.

The roof is going to leak when it rains.

I'm going to fall down the stairs.

The crazy thought hits and then I need to spend time talking myself down from the tree.  This happens all day long -- about anything and everything.

I THINK it might be related to caffeine and gluten that's being amplified by HORMONES.  Gluten makes me sad and sad often shows with worry (for me, worry is a precursor to being sad).  I've had a little gluten here and there -- I think my sensitivity is high right now.

Caffeine has been climbing ever since I ordered Kona Coffee in June as part of my 50th celebration.  I started getting looser and looser with my caffeine intake -- from coffee, to teas, to kombucha.  I'm weaning down now.  I'll be at low levels by next weekend.  Caffeine makes me feel spun up and that feeling mimics anxiety.  My brain might be scanning for thoughts that explain that feeling.

This happened in my late 20s and I gave up caffeine.  I thought I was having mental health issues and neurological issues from the hand tremors.  As soon as I made the connection -- both stopped immediately.  I was super duper strict about it for about 15 years and then added some back without issue.  I think I've gradually gone too far.  Before, hand tremors were the first indication, but I'm not having that now.  Still, this is worth a shot.

The new decaf coffee came yesterday.  I'll give the scoop after I try it tomorrow.  

Cleaning up my diet in ways that make me feel good.  It's not about my weight in this case -- it's about how certain foods make me feel.  Again, I think hormones are amplifying and changing my body and that's why I'm so sensitive.  Also, being home all day in a pandemic gives time to notice these differences.

It's a first step.  The good news is once my caffeine is low, it will be an instant relief if that's what's causing it.

Find some happy and good today.  Stay well.  Later gators.

Random Pictures from This Week

For FUN I got red lipstick.  Blondes with fair skin need a red with a blue base.  It's a bit bright per my usual, but I'll wear it when I'm feeling SASSY haha (!!)  I'd like to find a brighter lipstick to wear that's between my nudes and this bright red ... on a fun hunt.

Earrings came for the wedding.  They're perfectly perfect.  Picture doesn't do the sparkle justice.  Beholden again.

Dog cuddles ... two poodles.

And a meme for thought ... this is a good one for a meditation visualization.  I didn't do my hour long one this week because Coby was here still.  In a few weeks (when hubby isn't home to interrupt), I'll give it a shot and this can be part of the meditation.

And the inspiration card I opened this week, followed by another Instagram I screenshot.  Good messages as I come to terms with the decision to end a friendship.  Confirmation bias, but makes me feel supported in the decision.

Happy Saturday.  Stay well.  Later gators.

It's Friday

In case you need reminding.  This week is so wonky that I need reminding.  It's been the longest week and the shortest week simultaneously. 

Anyway ... short and sweet updates.

I finished This Tender Land (William Kent Kreuger).  FANTASTIC BOOK.  Loved it, gave a big sigh on the last page since I'll miss the characters.  It gets some comparisons to other books I've read, but it's better.  Today, I'll open the Jen Hatmaker box for February -- I'm excited :)

UPDATE:  Opened the box ... drumroll ... Red at The Bone (Jacqueline Woodson) and a JH winter hat.  Bummer on the hat and my HUGE head -- doesn't come close to fitting.  Some lucky normal-headed person in my life is getting a new hat.  At first I thought it was mittens or socks :(

Since I didn't want to start a new book last night and hubby was home late, I started watching a new series on Netflix.  Fate (A Winx Saga).  Silly series about a magic school (teenagers) -- has total Harry Potter feel around the story line.  Yet, I'm hooked.  It was a few R-rated one-liners, but no actual R-rated scenes (so far).  It's cheesy and perfect.

Today is a bunch of chores and some errands.  Grocery store run, meds curbside pickup at vet and a Dunkin Donuts for hubby (since I'll drive by his favorite one).  Coby needs a bath before his trial tomorrow, my house needs a little spit shine everywhere and I have some office paperwork.

I'll start a new book and watch some TV too.

Not a bad Friday.  

Enjoy the end of the week, stay well.  Later gators.

Getting My Groove Back

 

Wise words.  Good plan.  Great reminder.  And this works in BOTH directions.  "Little" matters when repeated.

I finished The Queen's Gambit (Netflix).  It was excellent.  I'm not starting anything new until I do some book reading again.  I've said before, lots of reading = feeling awesome.  Lots of TV = feeling like a slug.  Balance for TV is a must when I'm feeling low.  I made progress on The Tender Land (William Kent Krueger) -- about halfway and it's a good story.  It's absolutely a book you want to pick back up and continue reading.  Maybe I WILL finish it by Sunday (?!)

Jen Hatmaker's new bookclub box arrived.  I'm saving it until I finish January's book.  It's a fun gift to open and I get excited about the new title.  P.S.  I'll read this straight away so I'm not "pressured" for February's meeting.

I ordered wedding earrings from BHLDN (Anthropologie's wedding line) where I bought my new dress.  The store is called Beholden -- learned this thanks to my college roommate.  The name is the word with no vowels.  I don't get the point of it, except to make you feel like you're in a secret club if you understand it.  Nothing says the name -- only initials and "Anthropologie presents ... BHLDN."  When you know, you know and now I know (!!)  I'll show a picture when they come.  It's a bit pricey, but I like them and I'll wear them other places (unlike the other ones I was considering).  I had it gift wrapped for $3 because it felt like a nice gift for me.

That's a little bit of getting my groove back.  Focus on little pleasures and little bits of fun that aren't about eating unhealthy.  My "treats" are too many junk food related things again -- cheese sticks, yogurt bars, GF sweets, etc.  (See quote above -- I'm moving into repeat territory too much on this habit.)  When I look for treats outside of food, the need for food treats disappears.  Not just lessens, it really goes away.  I'm on the hunt for little fun things again. 

I got a very nice response from my former life coach.  She "heard" me and explained she dropped the ball on ending our relationship respectfully.  She's sending me a video message.  Letting go is HARD, but this feels like the push I needed to move on.  Even good things complete and come to an end.  

UPDATE:  It was a voice message instead and just reiterated the email.  It is what it is ... I was expecting a little more, but you know what they say about expectations ...

So ... drum roll ... I've decided to join Self-Coaching Scholars with Brooke Castillo.  It's monthly and I'm making no commitment for how long I stay, but I'm curious to try it.  $300/month.  Weekly 20 minute one-to-one coaching from different peeps, live coaching sessions, library of lots of things, workbooks, lessons.  Lots of bang for the buck -- if it's what I need.  I've been curious for a longtime.  I know Brooke is having a different "moment" right now, but I'm curious enough and it feels exciting to be coached in a different way.

I've spend this year focused inward on what I want, how I want to show up in this new stage of my life, what are my new goals ... all the things.  It's time to tip back into more action -- moving the balance needle a little.  Brooke is the queen introspection ACTION.  It seems like a good fit for my next steps.  My plan is to join for April -- possibly March, but my focus is on other things until the wedding so I think a little break until April is best.

Moving back to total decaf espresso is HARD too -- only because I like a particular bean brand that's caffeinated.  I'm on the hunt for a decaf I like as well.  Starbucks raised prices again and it feel ridiculous for me to go there.  I don't go often during the pandemic, but I don't want to add that back when this is over.  I'm determined to find "my brand" and I'll make the hunt fun.  I ordered a new one on Amazon.  It's decaffeinated with water (no chemicals), sourced well and the company explains the storage at Amazon.  It gets great reviews.  I STILL have a lingering headache which could well be from lack of caffeine.  I expect both caffeine and hormone issues to be over by the weekend -- yea!

Hubby is coming home late today.  He decided enough was enough sitting alone in an office.  

He's going to spend a lot more time at home and I don't think he'll work a lot longer.  I'm ready to redo my office and take the bed out to make a sitting room.  I need THAT kind of a space -- the kind where you can shut a door and have quiet.  I'm going to start looking for an oversized chair or loveseat next month.  I'm starting to lean toward a loveseat because dogs will want to cuddle.

Speaking of dogs.  Mine are jelly filled bundles.  It's time for Coby to find a home and for us to take a break.  Monti doesn't love having another dog all the time and he's my priority.  I think we're going to foster less because of that.  It makes me sad, but I can't have him stressed -- that's not fair to my sweet boy.

In quick wedding news, my mother is NOT coming.  She was snarky about everything (of course) and that disappointed my son  -- she's a real piece of work.  I'm used to her ways, my kids aren't.  I hate that she hurt him.

That's all from here.  Have a good day and stay well.  Later gators.

One More

I have one more day of feeling yucky ... probably ... hopefully.

I have a wonker of a headache (hormones and a dial back of caffeine), cramps (last day) and low energy (food and hormones).

Picking up the piece that are in my control today.  Lower caffeine (but hold steady for today), good food (freezer stash is thawed and ready), good workout (helps hormones).

I got a ton of prickly stuff off my list yesterday and that felt good.

First notable was trying to get a Tela-Doc appointment for my rosacea cream refill.  The phone intro said ONLY specific, necessary appointments in-person -- everything else was video appointment.  Since I haven't been in over a year, they wanted to do an in-person.  What?!?!  How is this necessary?  Their precautions were the usual low level, sounds good, but isn't enforced.  I asked if they ENFORCED mask wearing and they DON'T -- WTF?!?  I asked if they would ask the doctor for an exception.  She'll walk into a room, write the RX and leave.  I got the Tela-Doc appointment.  Sometimes you need to push against procedure when it makes logical sense in a PANDEMIC for crying out loud.

Second, and kind of upsetting -- I went to renew my life coaching package and her prices exploded.  She's charging $250/hour -- OMG (!!)  Nope, never, not even close.  I knew her prices were going up, but never imagined this much (and this is the existing client rate) for the "phone chat" coaching.  She offers other modalities that are specialized and involve a lot more work after sessions.  Guess she wants to focus on that and weed out the other kind of clients (like contractors do when they price a project sky high).  It's her choice and I give her credit for valuing her profession, but it was so much higher, it was almost insulting that she didn't explain this ahead of time.  Wow.  This is a BIG letting go moment in a hard time.  Sometimes you need to let go to make space.  Feels like I have nothing but space lately LOL.  I wrote her an email and expect to get a nice response back, but it still feels like a strange ending.  I'm going to miss her and our monthly talks.

Top Golf is confirmed and all set for the day before the wedding.  Yea.  Done.  I have a few cute ideas for decor and a take-away sugar cookie.  More on this later. 

I talked to the founder of our rescue about little Blue.  I feel loads better for him and for me.  Boundaries -- it makes life happy.  His owners are doing better and I'm glad to offer as much help as I can for them all.

Coby is getting so playful.  Boy, he's a joy.  This takes some worry off my shoulders if his trial doesn't work.

Hubby is coming home for 2 weeks again.  Office continues to be virtual for all possible positions and it doesn't make any sense for him to take a risk in a hotel, etc.  The Board can go to hell if that's a problem.  I can't even tell you how many people locally have COVID.  Friends on FB who have been going out to eat, gathering with friends -- they're getting hit now.  This isn't the time to let up on anything.  (Yes, the wedding -- don't get me started on it.)

Taking pressure off bookclub this weekend has been such a relief.  I got back to some reading last evening and the book seems good.  If I can finish enough of it, I'll do the meeting ... otherwise, there's always next month.  For some reason, the idea of MUST finish it was too much.

Hope you have a terrific day.  Stay well, be smart and hang on.  We'll get there.

And Life Spins ...

Good and not good.  

Got my monthly -- that's why a lot of the drama seems dramatic.  I have better perspective this morning.

Kids okayed Top Golf for rehearsal.  They "forgot" to check out menu plan, but they texted later in the day.  I had to do the follow up, but ... okay.  That can be managed.  Signing the contract with deposit today.

My son dropped, what felt like, a bombshell.  Wedding is probably an evening wedding again.  Were you thinking of texting me?  Letting me know it was possibly changing?  Yesterday morning I finished buying ALL the accessories, etc for a day wedding.  

I called my college roommate who is a fashion designer grad and she talked me off the fashion ledge.  My new dress is fine, a couple of accessories can be modified if I need to and it'll be okay.  An evening wedding means my hair needs to last ALL DAY and NIGHT.  DIY hair might not have that kind of life.  Practice is beginning again soon.

On the dog front ...

Duke cornered a squirrel in our yard and that was a fun moment.  Both are okay.  Coby's adopter got to see the drama unfold on FaceTime.  I was not cool and collect.  

Coby is going on trial on Saturday now.  Business obligations couldn't be changed and I today is a horrible weather day -- that's fine.  I was counting on him going today, but I can work around.  He's sweet and easy, but it's always easier with just my two.

Blue might be getting returned for aggressive biting people.  She's having a crisis as her husband had a heart attack and is in the hospital.  Looks like a full recovery and he should come home today, but Blue face bit her neighbor who let him out.  I was on the phone for a longtime with her AFTER I had lights out.  We won't be able to take him back until after the wedding, so he'll need a new foster.  She wants to try a few things first.  Sounds like they are doing a lot to help him, but they need a trainer to respond to her calls.  We referred her to a trainer and a vet who specializes in behavior issues.  Doesn't help it's rain all week and he hates going outside in the rain.  Sounds like the last couple of weeks, he's falling apart.  Aggressive, destructive, nervous.  Poor baby.  Poor them too.  

I was a hot mess of zig zag emotions.  Good stuff followed immediately by downer stuff.  Up and down and all around.  

I'm calling this week a WASH.  Hang on tight and focus inward.  I need to center and settle.  Hormones might be calming down and that will help a lot.  It's really a big deal.  I'm going to do more research on life style and hormone balance.  Glad this burst of mood and things (cravings, sweating, etc) ended up being my monthly.

Taking off all extraneous pressures this week.  ME and the basics.  Not pushing into any new goals or big to-do list stuff.  Hair practice can wait.  Wedding planning can wait.  Blue worries are not mine to carry -- I can help, but not hold the worry.  Bookclub reading will happen or it won't -- no pressure.  

I also need to figure out a rosacea flare up that's pretty bad.  Maybe chi seed pudding?  That's my only diet change.  I stopped it.  Maybe cold showers because I'm really reactive after activating my chilblains this year -- my toes are in steady state reaction.  When one flares, does the other flare?  Maybe my face cream medication is expired.  I've used expired before, but perhaps it's a dud -- I'm calling dermatologist today to get more cream.  Maybe hormones?  I'm trying one thing at a time to see if I can figure it out.  It's uncomfortable and very obvious -- red, burning and now the pimples are starting.  Perfect right before the wedding.

Spinning and spinning.  I'd like a little break.  Nothing is horrible (thankful for that) but all this little stress on top of the bigger stresses have me in a bad place.

As I'm typing this ... I remember I changed up my espresso recently and am having full caffeine in the morning and full decaf in the afternoon.  Maybe that's contributing to both my anxiety and the rosacea.  Too much caffeine.  I'm sensitive, but seem to be able to handle more lately.  Maybe I pushed too far.  Changing that up immediately, but gradually to avoid a headache.  

Problem solving.  It's amazing, but I wouldn't mind a break from having to spin.

Okay, enough.  Dogs need me.  Have a happy day.  Stay well.  Later gators.

Dress ARRIVED (!!)

It fits -- I LOVE it.  Done and dusted.  I only need to get it steamed for the wrinkles.  No spanx or suction garments needed.  Only a strapless bra (which I have), some jewelry and I'm set.

BTW -- it is BLACK.  Even though the description says NAVY.  Not a blue hue to be found.  

Excuse my weird expressions.  Full-length mirror pictures are hard for me LOL -- where to look while kind of looking at the mirror and the camera.

I'll wear the shoe on my forward foot.  I also ordered comfy change shoes for the yard games.  Silver sneakers and flip flops from FitFlop (depends on how they look and the weather).  It's a recovery brand I've worn for years.  The look is clunky, but I need to keep my heel and back okay.  I walked around for about 10 minutes in these low heels and my calfs hurt today.  

Here's the "emergency" dress I bought when it looked like my dress was lost and the kids might elope.  It's a little big and needs a sparkly belt.  The color washes me out more than I expected -- compared to the darker dress.

I'm so excited to have one thing off my plate.  I can get moving with all the accessories now that the dress is confirmed.  It's way more casual than my original dress and I think it fits the new wedding much better.

Here's a reminder picture of her mother's dress.  It's so pretty.  Her mom is short so the dress comes to her knees (not mid-thigh like the model).

In other wedding news ... still no decision on the rehearsal which is bugging me.  They asked for a week and I'm going to have to reach out today.  My guess is they STILL haven't decided.  It's 2 months away -- something outdoors with no weather worry for 40 plus people.  Not a lot of options.

I might not get the bookclub book read in time for Sunday.  444 pages and I need to start from page 1 again.  Reading with this foster dog is not happening.  He loves to be pet and cuddled which gets my pups jelly so when I sit, I end up petting 3 dogs and not reading.  Finishing the book is starting to feel like pressure and I think I want to take that pressure off this week.  We'll see.  

I finished The Crown and I liked it.  This season was slow rolling, but I'm vested and it felt familiar to watch.  I'm going through another stage of wanting familiar to help with my worries.  New shows aren't cutting it.  Reruns and continuations feel good this month.

And, dogs are up and at it again.  Have a happy day and stay well.  Later gators.

Sundays that feel like Mondays

When hubby leaves for the week, it feels like a Monday.  I get my days totally mixed up.

This is one of those transitions days.  Looking forward to it, yet I'm all stirred up.  Worried about hubby traveling, worried about being by myself ... yet wanting alone time.  There's a subtle difference.  Being by myself feels like I have no choice.  If I need help, he's 10 hours away.  Being alone means quiet time, but with a safety net.  I guess the "fear" during the pandemic makes me all caught up in "what if" fantasies.  

Usually, once he's finished with the long drive, I relax.  I need to remind myself I'm okay -- I'll always be okay.  Problem solving 101.

Coby is meeting a couple on Tuesday with the plan to take him on trial.  They have a senior dog who won't travel well, so we need to see if they get along.  They live in downtown ATL and I also want to make sure Coby is happy about city sounds.  They've adopted from our rescue before (their other dog is 5 years old) so I know they're a good family.  Fingers crossed for them all.

I decided to give myself another week before I think about wedding details -- at least my end of the details.  The dress says it arrived -- must be in the mailbox (hopefully).  I'm not in the right frame of mind to work on trials.  PMS is here (although, who knows these days).  I need a good centering week before I start again.  Nail polish came -- it's a fail.  Hair puffs came and they look too big.  See the trend?  I need a breath and some space to get energy right for going forward on next options.

I have a bookclub book to read.  One episode of The Crown left and I want to watch The Queen's Gambit (I've only watched the first episode).  A few relaxing things on the calendar.  If Coby goes on trial, I think I'll do the HOUR meditation on my 2021 list.  This seems like a good week for extra stillness and good vibes. 

Have a happy end to the weekend and a great start to a new week.  Last week in January -- time is moving quickly.  Stay well.  Later gators.

My State of Mind

Here's an update on my state of mind (aka hormones, aka mood, aka healthy habits).

I didn't buy out Trader Joe's junk food, but I wanted to ... BUT, I did get frozen yogurt bars from the regular store (they are fake enough dairy to not bother my stomach).  I ate 3 out of 4 (lunch, snack, dinner).  That seemed to put me out of the mood for sweets.  I also ate a crap ton of veggies to clean out things from last week.  Sort of a balance ... lol.

Back at it full strength today.  Not dieting, just back to regular meals and plant focused eating.  That's how I feel my best and that needs to be my focus. 

Since I feel a little wonky, I'm back to basics.  SMALL PROMISE every day and asking myself the question, "will this make me feel good?"

I'm ready for the house to myself this week so I can quietly focus on listening to what I need.  When I "share" space and time, I end up reverting to old patterns, not listening deep enough to what I want and compromising to the point of frustration.  This is on ME ... it's not about him.  He's not doing or asking for anything.  This is me needing a lot of time to figure myself out.

Maybe it's menopause, maybe it's retirement, maybe it's a midlife crisis??  Who knows, but this is the age it happens and I'm a walking cliche.  Since we're stuck in the house together, it makes finding personal space and time more challenging.  The time I need is the pause between doing things, the quiet spaces in the day.  I'll spend a couple hours in the kitchen alone and just as I sit down to a quiet moment, he joins me.  That's my thinking time, a pause to listen and it's not there when he's home.

Anyway, the week looks like it's good.  NOTHING on the calendar so far.  Maybe Coby will meet a family and I'll head to the grocery store later in the week.  Bookclub on Sunday (virtual).  I have to start the book over -- I tried to pick it up and don't remember any of the 14 pages LOL.  Distracted, fragmented reading ... see what I mean about needing space and time?

I feel like nesting again -- but this time, alone.  Cleaning, organizing, planning.  Can you tell I'm excited?

Also, this isn't ALL about being alone.  The holidays, a runoff election, an insurrection, wedding planning, etc has left me bonked.  I'll do my best to reset this stress with a comparable balance.  A full week of BALANCE and QUIET will help tremendously.  

Here are my buggers -- Starbucks run on a rainy day and a nature walk yesterday.  Everyone enjoys car rides.  Stay well.  Later gators.

Good Morning

I'm up early -- to workout early -- to grocery shop early.

I have a hormone headache.  I KNOW my hormones are whacked again from all the "things" going on.  Peri is no joke.  My hormones and the wedding are set to coincide too.  Fun times.  (Also, you are warned -- lots of talk about both in the next 2 months!!)

I don't have a lot to say this morning.  

Bed skirts are clean and pressed -- yea.  They look good.  It bugged me to see stains on the corners.  Now to keep the dogs from peeing on them again.  I think it's my Monti -- when we get a foster, I think he does it.  We had a fresh mark RIGHT BEFORE I started.  Ugh.

I haven't been reading.  I'll get moving on that when hubby leaves.  Too many interruptions on a book that needs focus (at least at the start).  I can't get more than a page or two and I give up.

Trader Joe's this morning and I ALREADY can't stop thinking SWEETS.  Cravings are hitting high and hard this week.  Should I?  Shouldn't I?  I'm thinking something sweet, but not a cart-full of sweets.  I'm so dang tired of monthly cravings that last weeks.  Still, best way to deal with cravings is to allow them and not react.  I'm having trouble being that evolved today LOL.  I have been satisfying cravings with fruit, but we are in a winter lull for fresh fruit.  I know I'll feel even LESS GOOD if I give into JUNK FOOD, but *stomps feet* I want junk food.  Usually, the morning version of ME is much better at making good decisions.  Stay tuned for this riveting decision ...

That's it.  REALLY nothing to say today.  Hope you have a happy day and stay well.  Later gators.  Oh, here's a cute video of Coby.  THIS is why pictures are hard -- he wiggles all the time when you look at him and my camera roll is a fuzzy blur with a flash of pearly white teeth (!!)

Rainy Day

What an incredible day yesterday -- hope and unity.  No violence, no hate given airtime.  I spent the good portion of the day chatting with friends and watching the ceremony.

Of course, Amanda Gorman -- wow.  I don't normally listen to spoken word poetry, but this is on its way to become a classic.  Amazing words, delivered with perfection.  I keep replaying it and quoting it.  Talent in spades. 

Hubby bought me a frozen GF pizza to celebrate.  I had a few "thoughts" about a drink (or 2) to celebrate, but knew that wasn't a true desire.  Pizza isn't exactly a true desire either, but there aren't any lingering consequences from pizza.

I'm having a little moment of being bored with my current cooking (hence the pizza).  I need to try some new recipes and make a couple of winter salads.  Warm, mushy winter stews and soup gets old after a couple of months.  I'll make fresher options next week.  Grocery shopping on Friday.

Today is pouring rain ALL DAY.  No issue other than Duke needs to be active.  He had a couple of scrambles with Coby because he has pent up energy.  It'll have to wait until Friday.

On the agenda today is washing bed shirts for the spare beds (thrilling!!).  Someone along the doggie foster way marked on the corners.  I used the scent dissolver but it left a mark.  Bed skirts are a pain -- getting them on and off, ironing them, but I don't like seeing the stains.  A rainy day with hubby home is my best option.  Just do it and get it done ;)

We're getting ready to transition to hubby back in VA again.  Already it's playing with my mind.  I have no idea why this is such a big deal for me.  Maybe because life feels stressful still (pandemic, wedding, etc) and that makes me feel uncomfortable to be alone at first.  

I had the coaching call yesterday and it was good.  We chatted a lot about old patterns (my mother's voice in my head) and boundaries.  Helpful clarity with both.

I had a couple of off-routine days this week and I need to make sure to get back on the good stuff again.  Hormones are raging and without deliberate intention, my mood and such gets wonky.  It's funny how certain things make a big difference -- maybe worth some thought.  For example ... reading vs watching TV.  HUGE difference.  Not sure why.  Reading vs scrolling Instagram too.  The stuff I'm watching and the Instagram I follow is all good stuff -- so why does reading instead make me feel more balanced?  Earlier workouts make a difference too.  Later morning isn't quite as good -- and I've been drifting workouts to around 10 o'clock because mornings are free.  Earlier the better for me.  I also need a plan for the afternoon.  Wishy washy doesn't work as well -- even if I still get things done.  Strange.  Planned productive things carry more weight for me.  No idea why on this either.  I've noticed these things because I'm still paying attention to my good/less-good activity.  

I'll leave with this video of the dogs.  I love to watch them play.  Stay well.  Later gators.

Inauguration Day (!!)

Farewell to the worst excuse for a President and the sorriest excuse for a human.  

President Biden and Madame Vice Present Harris -- has a nice ring.  Hope, integrity, dignity, intelligence, kindness.  

Today is a good day for our country.

Coby has a hemivertebrae on #12 (of 13).  Probably congenital, maybe healed injury ... nothing to do for it except preventative care.  Weight management, fish oil, joint supplements, etc.  It's probably nerve zings that cause the occasional yelp.  No restrictions and can't harm anything.  It's also possible that something aggravated the area and that's why it's slowly becoming less frequent.  Medication side effects for a young dog are far worse than an occasional zing.  That's great news -- he'll be available by the weekend.

A quick wedding channel update ...

No news on the rehearsal -- last minute Annies, these two.  I chatted with my old college roommate yesterday and sent her pictures of all the wedding hair and new dress.  She's a fashion design graduate who made MY wedding dress.  I got thumbs up :)  She would be complimentary always, but would also offer suggestions so her opinion means a lot to me.  The new dress is scheduled for delivery this Saturday -- fingers crossed it fits and I love it.

Life coaching call today.  

COVID is everywhere in my world -- not that that's news.  Hubby's brother in a group home has it, my nephew has it, a careful foster has it after needing to do an in-person nursing lab, my aunt's bbf died yesterday from it, my aunt's neighbors have it.  

It's circulating this aggressively as the kids are planning the wedding.  Ugh.  I'm nervous.

Hope we all have a happy, hopeful day on this historic transition.  Stay well and hang in there.  Nothing will change overnight, but change is in the air.  Later gators.

Yin and Yang Again

My emotions are all over the place still.  I had a good day, but I was stressed too.  I'm not sure if this is hormones or actual stress.

Coby is headed to the far away vet today.  I'm not looking forward to the drive and everything about today -- except figuring out what's going on with his leg pain.  That had me anxious a lot yesterday, for him and for me.

Great news about my rehearsal idea.  Top Golf offers everything we need -- safety (outdoors, masks, separated), weather proof, food, open bar, something different to do (wedding is a picnic brunch), location.  The price is steep, but we'll take it.  I discussed this possible option over the weekend with the kids and they liked the idea.  Now they "need to think about it."  

What?!?!?  There are no other options that fit all the needs for this day.  Seriously, nothing.  Anything outside needs a weather contingency and indoors is not an option.  I'm not doing a DIY party for 40 plus people the day before a morning wedding that I'm getting ready on my own.  I hope they "think" and realize the same.

Hubby is no help either.  Only critical of my other suggestions, not helpful, not offering any suggestions. 

I ordered the jumbo yard games for the wedding -- that's fun.  Jumbo Jenga and 4 foot Connect Four.  I also got personalized corn hole bags with their initials and wedding date.

I met my girlfriend at the park.  We had to bag the walk because it was packed, but we found a spot on the edge of the woods to set up chairs.  It was nice to catch up and chat all things.  Girlfriend time was really, really needed (!!)

My plan is to call the rest of the week for myself.  I need a mental reset.  I need to get my worry under control.  

Case in point -- there is a loud noise going on in the neighborhood this morning.  A mechanical hum and vibration.  It's not our house and I have no idea what it could be, therefore, WORRY.  We have power and water.  No signs of anything else.  But at 4:30 there is unfamiliar noise coming from somewhere.  Maybe road crews are fixing something?!?!  Noise travels in the quiet dark of night.  Strange and something that should mildly make me curious has me all up in arms.  

I need a reset (!!)

Today is the last day of Trump.  Thank the lord above.  Get over today and maybe move our country forward.  Today is like waiting for the other shoe to drop -- what else can he do with only one day left?  Maybe this is part of my feeling of doom LOL.

Breathe.  

Fingers crossed for Coby today.  I'll get some phone time (hopefully) and podcast time for the long drive and appointment wait.  I don't want to wish a day away, but I'm looking forward to being home tonight, tucked in bed with a book.

Let's find some good -- stay well.  Later gators.

Sunday Recap

Let's start with the FUN -- the Air Fryer is the BOMB (!!)  I get why peeps love them.  Crisp, fast, easy.  My only learning curve is burning little spots on my hands while I learn to maneuver all the parts and which outside parts are HOT.  

The less fun ... Coby needs to go to the far, far away vet this week for his leg.  The vets themselves have limited day hours so the drive has potential to SUCK.  And I need to stay for an appointment.  This will be about a 4-5 hour excursion.  

Now let's talk NERVES.  I've been quarantined the entire pandemic.  No nothing outside of grocery stores, masked walk in parks, occasional porch happy hours and count-on-one-hand takeout orders.  Add one outside visit with my aunt after her surgery (and her negative COVID test) and that's it.  We see the kids when there's no exposure or breach of quarantine.

THE WEDDING.  40 people.  All weekend long.  Everything outside and masked when not eating or drinking, but this is like a rave party compared to my quarantined life.

Pretty, pretty please let the numbers be more in control by the end of March.

I will do EVERYTHING I can to limit my exposure to people.  Including not eating so I can keep a mask on.

My nerves are going WILD.  I dreamt all night about being in places with exposure.  I said I'd make a calculated exception for their wedding and that's what's happening.  They're adding an outside bar evening to the night of the wedding since the wedding is 12-4 o'clock.  Not sure if I'll attend.  It's going to be their wedding party and we can let them have fun with their friends AND not get more exposure time.

I need to take a breath, take a pause and problem solve.  

That was my Sunday.  Good and nerves.  But I'm hanging in there.  Stay well.  Later gators.

You Were Warned ...

The Wedding Channel is on ... not everyday, but frequently.  Just a bit of update and onto other things.

I tried hair for a second time.  Still no product or tools -- both of which came last night.  I'll do most of the experimenting without using them because I don't want to overwork my hair or blow through expensive sprays.  

The sides held better.  The look I'm trying to create is called a CHIGNON (shin-yawn) and it seems the easiest to do yourself.  I need to work on smoothing the lower twist so it looks less like a messy bun and more like a smooth roll.  I wish I had more hair -- longer and thicker (!!)

I'll practice a couple of times a week and in about a month, experiment with the tools a bit more.  I want to chat with my hairdresser first about best way to protect my hair before I start curling it.

In last wedding news, I had to look for a picture on my computer and found the only picture of the original dress.  I was heavier, it's a bad picture and the dress was the wrong size, but I forgot how much I like it.  Also, looking at it again, I think it might be okay for the wedding.  Now I'm having second thoughts -- eeek.  It will hinge on how much I like the new dress.  (This dress need to be hemmed to tea length all around.)  I think, no matter what, I'm keeping it.

_________________________________________________________________________

Now onto other things.

I finished The Secret, Book and Scone Society (Ellery Adams) and I didn't like it.  It started off promising and quickly became a cliche.  I understand the good reviews though -- it's not my type of book, but I can see why others like it.  A little mystery, a little romance, a little trauma backstory for EVERY character.  It's like a Hallmark movie kind of book.  If that's your thing, you'll enjoy this book.  Also the book references and food descriptions were too much -- too frequent and tried too hard for my liking.  That said, I could really go for a scone ...

Today is football watching with the kids.  Easy menu -- grilled chicken sammies and fries.  I have a couple of game food munchies from Trader Joe's.  Today is the virgin run for the air frier.  Angel Food cake for dessert.  Everything is made -- just the air frier stuff to crisp up.  Nice and easy.

Coby is hurting -- we think he has a back issue.  He'll get an x-ray this week.  Poor baby.  He's an incredible dog -- absolutely the sweetest, most well behaved, happy dog.  I gave him a hair cut and bath yesterday (picture was before both).  Trimmed his foot pads, face and got the shelter stink off of him now that his incision is healed.  He was so happy after the bath -- dogs don't like to smell like the shelter.  If they don't have a fresh incision, we bathe them immediately.

Have a great day to round out the weekend.  Stay well.  Later gators.

Wedding Practice (Pictures)

I started PRACTICING for the wedding.  This was my first attempt without using any special tools, etc.  It took about 10 minutes and I wanted to see this shape -- it suits me well and I think this is the easiest style to work on.

What needs to be worked on ...

(1)  Sides need to be pinned better.  After I took the pictures I pulled them up higher.  It needs something else too -- I think maybe a few curls will help give it some personality.  It's too smooth and flat.

(2)  The puff at my crown was okay, but it sagged as the day went on.  Some texture spray, hair spray and maybe a mesh crown filler will help.

(3)  The twist/bun needs to be smoother.  I didn't bother trying that yesterday because it was just a start.

(4)  A sparkle hair comb to sit at the top of the twist/bun will give it a more finished look.  I'm waiting for the dress to come to order the jewelry -- I want a "sort of" coordinated look.  

Overall though, super happy with TRY #1.  I feel confident I can get better (!!)  WOO HOO.  

____________________________________________________________________________

I ordered the new dress.  The email consultation was simply a link to a size chart and how-to-measure video.  Fingers crossed it fits.  

The pictures look like a black dress, but the description says NAVY.  Either way works.

I'll try to restock my original dress and if that's not possible or not refunded enough, I'll keep it.  Of course, if I pick it up and don't like it, I'll try to sell it at some point.

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I also ordered nail polish for the wedding day.  Olive and June.  That polish takes FOREVER to dry, but it holds up better than any other I've used.  They have drying drops now so I ordered them too -- 80 seconds to top touch dry and 1/2 the overall drying time.  

It's a pale, pale opaque pink.  I have the shear version, but my nail beds are uneven so I wanted an opaque look.

Not that ANYONE will be close enough to see my nails, but I want to feel good and be put together.

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The part that is the most disappointing about the wedding changes is the loss of connection.  People I adore and haven't seen for so long -- all gathering for a happy occasion.  Not one of those people are coming and that feels extra disappointing given it will be over a year of quarantine by the wedding.

And, of course, the kids feel this too.  This was their day to be embraced by all the special people in their lives.  

Problem solving means making an effort to see those people after the pandemic.  Creating another reason to gather with intention and enjoy the people I love to spend time with one on one.  Possibly a party (or family reunion) to celebrate the kids next year too.  I have that idea on my radar.

It can be done.  Some effort.  Some intention.  Some commitment.  

____________________________________________________________________________

Jewelry for the wedding is simple.  

Earrings -- something inexpensive because I'm afraid my mask will pull them off (that's why I'm not wearing my good earrings).

Sparkly bracelet.

Hair comb.

So many inexpensive options on Etsy and David's Bridal.  Pinterest has good ideas and links too.

____________________________________________________________________________

I feel better already.  Change in attitude and some preparation -- I'm getting excited for the big day again.  For whatever reason, this is the way it's meant to happen and I want to be fully present to see and enjoy it all.

Have a great day and stay well.  Later gators.

Friday Pep Talk

Since the holidays, I've been loosey goosey with a routine.  Still hanging in with good habits, but feeling oddly out of sorts.

It's strange because I'm doing things -- cleaning, cooking, reading, etc.  But without a plan it feels wild and is too much decision making each day.  Does this make sense??  When I take 10 minutes to make a weekly plan, there's something so satisfying about it.

Fewer decision, knowing the week will accomplish what I intend, etc.

I'm starting that back up for next week.  Routine makes me relax and I need every ounce of relax I can muster.

The wedding has me a little frantic.  Guest list will include my mother.  The ONLY person coming from my family and we'll be seated for brunch with her.  God help me.  The nightmare just got a shot of reality. The wedding is NOT about me, but I was looking forward to so much of it.  I need to  do a sharp 180 to get my head around what it's become (my mother!!) and my expectations. 

This will be a hardy dose of BOUNDARIES with her -- please let her decide to stay home.  

I can get in a better headspace with some deliberate changes in thoughts.  Problem solving, changing my focus, expecting good things.

I started to let myself get excited about external things for 2021 and I need to continue my focus INWARD.  The external is still unpredictable and, frankly, sets me up for disappointment and worry.  External fun WILL come back, but we are solidly in the thick of things for at least the first half of the year.  I worked intentionally to create "good" days during the pandemic and I need to keep that energy.

Pep Talk # Ten Zillion.  

I can do this.  We can do this.  It's all okay.  It's going to happen either way so I can choose how I experience it.  I CHOOSE FUN and JOY and HAPPY and LOVE and EASE.  New focus.  New energy.  New attitude.  

Smile.

Breath.

Laugh.

Love.

Do you feel pepped up?!?!  LOL.  No more "complaining" about the wedding.  I'm going to view it from a curious heart and a fun-loving attitude and I bet that makes it exactly that.  Stay tuned for all the prep fun.

Stay well.  Later gators.

Wedding News

Looks like there will be a wedding.  Very small, very paired down, open air with masks.  Kids are thinking it over before a final decision, but looks like BRUNCH WEDDING for the win.

This is a good idea.  Fits a more casual theme -- no dancing, little drinking.  The venue can be have an entire wall opened and with a huge covered porch.  The venue seats 200 and they are thinking less than 40 people.  About half the people are healthcare workers and will be vaccinated by then. 

Such a HUGE decision.  It still makes me a little sad for them.  So much planning and fun ideas down the drain.

Now back to ME ...

This solidifies my dress decision.  The dress I'm waiting to email a consultation about sizing would be PERFECT for an outdoor garden brunch.  It's a navy blue midi length floral with a sheer overlay.  What a different event -- different dress, doing my own hair, nails and makeup.  Wow. 

I need to figure out what to do with the original dress.  I plan to keep it and I definitely need it altered to cut off the train.  Not sure if I should do it there once the pandemic is under control or pick it up as is and worry about an alternation later.  If I did decide to sell it, it's best unaltered.  I don't see being able to recoup enough to make that worth while though.

The backup dress will be fine to attend a wedding so that's not an issue.  I want to get a rhinestone belt from Etsy to complete the look.  I might get that now just in case I need the backup dress.  Being prepared is my super power.

I'll post pictures and such since this will be the wedding channel starting soon.  Hair trials, makeup trials, dress try-ons.  Stay tuned ... 

All this wedding stuff has me NERVOUS.  That's a new emotion lately.  Not exactly worry, but sort of worry-excitement.  Like a "fun" anticipation.  This is a Mt. Everest of looking-like-a-lady ... if I can pull this off, a miracle will be to thank.  It'll go down as one of my top accomplishments ... right there with packing ONLY a carry-on for 2 weeks in Europe.

Such a cliff hanger -- can you feel the suspense?  It's all about the ending.  Stick the landing :)

Stay well.  Later gators.

Quick Hello

I ended up going back to sleep after a rotation of dog wake-ups since midnight.  The last was at 3 o'clock and I was too tired to stay up.  It took about an hour to fall back to sleep and now it's 6 o'clock after another round of dog potty, dog feeding and belly rubs.  I'm sitting down to my coffee and such now.

Costco was a dream.  No one there.  They open a little ahead so I finished at 10 o'clock sharp -- just at opening.  Perfect.  Now that the holidays are finished, Costco can come back on rotation when needed.  I went primarily for the coffee beans I like -- and almost forgot them.  LISTS are a must LOL.

The rest of the day was nothing to report (as though Costco is big news haha).  Chores, reading, dog walks, etc.

I'm bumping Trader Joe's today and swapping my Wednesday and Thursday.  Thursday is an early hot water tank service in the basement (that was a reschedule from a truck breakdown).  I don't want to rush a workout to stay clear of that area.  He'll need to have access to the bathroom tub next to the workout room.  Peloton and cleaning today ... rest day, Trader Joe's and park walk with the dogs tomorrow.  Problem solving works to avoid so much aggravation.  I used to problem solve when there was a PROBLEM, but never problem solved for AGGRAVATIONS.  Life changing philosophy change.

I'll leave with a picture of me and Monti.  I was at the table waiting to workout yesterday and he joined me.  Such a cutie pie.  Love this dog so dang much.  Have a great day -- stay well.  Later gators.

Some Random Stuff

Good morning.  

(1)  My college roommate and I reconnected in the nicest way during the pandemic.  She sent a Christmas gift that arrived yesterday (look almost a month, poor USPS).  She made the ornament and had the dish towel made by an embroidery store.  How sweet and what a surprise (!!)  Even the wrapping was adorable.

(2)  The timing was extra good because I finally organized the ornaments into ornament bins.  Prior, I had boxes with tissue.  What's nice about the bins is I can see everything at a glance and don't have to unwrap -- must less work.  What isn't as nice is they aren't as protective.  If we ever move they'll need to be individually wrapped.

(3)  I finished a couple of books.  Spellbreaker (Charlie Holmberg) and Push (Ashley Audrain).  Both were recommendations from Jamie Golden of the PopCast.  Spellbreaker was such a fun magic suspense book and I've ordered the sequel that comes out in March.  Both were on a big kindle special.  Push was crazy creepy and kept you guessing until the end -- and the end was creepy good too.  

Next up is The Secret Book & Scone Society (Ellery Adams).  Another kindle special.  That's the last of my latest downloads and I want to read kindle first or I "lose" them in the library.  After, I'll start the bookclub read.

(4)  I MIGHT order another dress for the wedding.  I don't feel safe getting my dress altered in a store that doesn't require masks.  The backup dress is okay for an elopement, but not for a tiny family wedding.  Still thinking.  I found a dress online and I have a free email consultation on Friday to discuss sizing (there was no chart -- only S-M-L).  Also, the original dress is formal and might be too much now.

(5)  I'm doing my own hair for the wedding -- or that's the plan.  Hitting the youtube tutorials and crossing my fingers.  I don't trust the girl I used for up-dos before and the wedding is a Sunday.  My hairdresser doesn't work on a Sunday and I doubt she would be able to accommodate (although I'll ask).  Also doing my own makeup and nails.  Who would've thought??

Guess I'm taking a full membership to the girl club.  I've never been able to do this stuff myself -- new me for sure!  Thank goodness for the internet.

(6)  I hit a run milestone yesterday.  FULL 3 miles at a 8:30 pace.  I haven't been able to do this for years.  My goal is 8 minute miles and now I can start working on speed.  In January of last year, I could run 2-3 minutes at that pace before I stopped to stretch my ankle and take a cardio reset.  Peloton is a lifeline for me on the cardio front.  

(7)  Costco run today.  In and out.  That's the plan.  I haven't been in about a month.  It gets so crowded at the holidays I tried to steer clear.  Nothing else except Duke's grooming.  

I have Monti on my lap -- he got up early with me.  It's hard to type so I'll leave it here.  Have a happy day.  Stay well.  Later gators.

January Rollercoaster

I was feeling reasonably steady eddy for the last several months.  A few bigger downs (usually hormonal), but nothing major.  January has been a rollercoaster again.

What up?

I got a mini-monthly for a few days -- all the things, but only lasted a couple of days.  Hello, hormones.

Capital upheaval and all the ugly it's bringing to the surface.  Also, lots of worry as groups make stronger and stronger threats.  Ugly needs to be seen to be changed, but this is a constant stress push.

Wedding plans need to be decided for the kids.  They still and always have a mature perspective, but this call is the hardest.  We'll know in a couple of weeks.  My heart hurts for them.

COVID is everywhere.  Hubby has a call with his board to tell them he won't be in the office until the outbreak at the company has passed -- all holiday related.  If they say no, he will still stay home and expect to be let go.  UGH.  STRESS (!!)

I posted a re-post on Facebook yesterday in support of banning Trump from Twitter.  I had a bit of trolling happening.  It was polite-ish, but upsetting.  These are fosters and I stayed friends with them (unfollowed) so we can communicate with the group.  That said, I had a lot of nice PERSONAL support too -- including other fosters.  Compliments on keeping things respectful.  That was another emotional rollercoaster.  And whenever I speak up (which is a must for me now) and get a few punches, I think about how my privileged allows me a choice in punches.  Don't speak up, no punches.  Others don't get that choice and get punched on the regular.  We need to do better.

All this to say, life feels heavy again.  Heavy and sad.  

I need to focus on my GOOD LIST and doing things that make me feel good while I let all this emotion process and (hopefully) dissipate. 

Steelers lost.  Bummer for the family (not so much me, I just join along).  Game was on late, so pups and I didn't stay up, but I could tell from the way hubby sulked into bed (and I confirmed online this morning).

Coby is doing well.  He's been super quiet and sleepy and I'm not sure if that's needed rest or his personality.  We'll see over the next couple of weeks.  He did fantastic with the grand-dogs and LOVES Monti.  Twinning to keep me confused LOL.

I made crab and parsnip soup and it's GOOD.  I had a container of crab to use from the holidays.  The parsnip soup is like the carrot soup recipe.  Roast the parsnips, mix with a soup base (leeks and spices) and blend.  I didn't have white wine so I used white wine vinegar -- probably better with the wine.  I forgot to buy a little container (you know, those sippy cup kind at the grocery store).  Next time, I'll add more spices too.  You add the crab right before serving.  Now I need to see if I can freeze it.  Googling this morning.  Guess this is an expensive soup if you had to buy the crab and wine.  I'm not sure you have to have either though.  Leeks made a nice flavor.  I LOVE the smell of cooked leeks. 

What's up for this week is low key and I'm here for it.  Organize and put away Christmas ornaments -- all the new storage containers arrived.  Duke has a grooming appointment (curbside drop off and pick up).  Clean the house -- that uses up my back on those days.  The rest is taking care of ME -- reading, workouts, meditation, etc.  Nesting and staying safe.

Have a good day -- the best you can.  Stay well.  Hang on.  Later gators.

Ugly Stew

 

I read a blog post about vegan (plant-based) cooking and common mistakes.  The mistake that stood out is not taking the time or making the effort to prepare plant foods as you would meat.  This recipe was an example -- braised chickpea and mushroom stew.  Cooked like a brisket and WOW, it's delicious.  It's a stew, aka ugly, but the flavor and texture is all there.  Next time, I'll double the mushrooms and use only one can of chickpeas.  Close your eyes and you're eating a braised brisket meal.  Smittenkitchen.com

Coby is settling nicely.  Everyone has calmed down.  We're still watching his back legs for weakness and pain though.  It might be the surgery recovery, but he has moments of pain -- the swelling is almost gone and his incision looks good.  I'm not sure why the pain.  He might need to be re-examined.  That said, some pups are super sensitive so we'll hang on and watch for now.  His tummy was upset yesterday (all over my bedroom -- ugh) so he's on a brat diet for a couple of days.  EVERYONE gets excited about chicken and rice haha.  

I'm hoping for a regular kind of day today.  Workout and such, dog walks, reading.  I think things are smooth enough for regular life stuff.  Tomorrow is football and kids and dogs.  Totally NOT a reading and relaxing day, but fun.

Quick post today.  Dogs will need a let out again shortly so I'll leave on that note.  Happy Saturday.  Stay well.  

Part the Clouds, See the Sun

Deep breath.  Repeat.

After an anxiety day yesterday, I'm focused on getting back to calm.  

Coby's pickup went well.  One of the big construction areas is finished and the drive was miles easier.  I lucked on traffic too.  No drinking from early morning meant no bathroom needs (and a dry mouth lol) and I didn't have contact with people for more than one quick pass of a dog (both of us masked and outside).

Coby is ADORABLE.  He's sweet and full of nervous energy (can't blame the little man).  I think he'll adjust well after a few more days.  He's having some swelling after neutering and poor boy is hurting too.  He and Monti are having a hump fest to find the ranking order.  Duke is protecting Monti and that warms my heart.  (So am I ... no humping allowed.)  But no dog fighting -- I'm always a little worried.  The humping attempts is normal dog intro under the circumstances.

Restoring calm also means NO MORE NEWS.  Live news is a toxic repeat of all things doom and gloom. Immediate issues are over and I can go back to print news for updates.  No wonder my friend has so much anxiety -- she watches the news all day.

Hubby is back home today and, given this week, I can't wait to have my family home safe and sound.  When I get anxious, I want to nest into the safety of my house.

His work is having a big COVID exposure (a family member, a party they attended, etc).  He hasn't come in contact with anyone who is positive, but they are going back to remote for all employees.  Looks like he'll be home for a few weeks (if he gets approval for himself).  

If all goes as expected in dog world, I'm making a new stew today.  Braised chickpeas and mushrooms.  Different flavor profile and cooking process.  I'm excited to try something different.  I had been doing a new ingredient of the month, but I kind of ran out of options.  January is new plant based recipes and I'm going all in -- trying new flavors, methods, etc.

I LOVE plant based eating.  My energy feels good and I'm happy to have more plants in my diet.  After years of Whole30 mindset, I started eating too much meat at the exclusion of veggies.  This feels like a better balance.  I'd say I eat plant based about 75% of time (eggs and cheese make up most of the 25%).  I eat meat about once a week.  Not as a rule, but just how it's working out lately.  It's interesting to learn to cook differently too.  

Dog time.  Fosters have to go out so frequently after surgery.  Pressure on their bladders feels crummy when they are swollen and sore.  

Have a happy day and hope you find some calm too.  We've got this -- hang in there.  I'm hanging the best I can too.  Stay well, take care of yourself and give yourself grace -- life is extra hard right now.  Let's take care of each other too.  Later gators.

Double Post Day

I just posted 21 for 2021, but today is a double post day.

My GOD -- what in the world happened yesterday?  Trump let all the crazy show in full display.  I ended up glued to the news for hours which I haven't done in years.  This was unfolding danger and I wanted to be informed.  

Order seems to be restored on some level.  Biden was ceremonially confirmed.  Trump conceded through his media manager (with total asterisk lies) to allow peaceful transition.  What I'm most curious about is the accountability and support of high ranking Republicans (I'm looking at you Cruz and many others) -- I hold them as, if not more, accountable.  

It's also scary that Trump is in office for 2 more weeks AND is privy to classified US information.  One man can be this awful.  

What hate this Trump administration unleashed (!!)  Can't put the toothpaste back in the tube.  These radicals are activated.  

On the GOOD NEWS front, Georgia, you made me proud.  Flipped the Senate.  Quieted the Republicans who support Trump.  BTW, I've voted Republican before and I never mind a balance of party power -- not right now though.  Democrat ALL THE WAY until ALL the Trump supporting Republicans are out of office and sane people can prevail.

I know the argument, all politicians are corrupt, but nothing like this ... nothing this aggressive with this much support from the party who wants to throw our democracy out the window.

Another HUGE thank you to Stacey Abrams and all the people who helped voter suppression in Georgia.  A butterfly flaps its wings and Stacey Abrams saved our country.  She lost the governor race to Kemp with massive voter suppression issues 2 years ago, took that loss and decided to make a change.  Boy, did she ever.  GA turned blue for the Presidential election, that caused Trump to fight with Kemp, that kept Republican GA Senators focused on supporting voter fraud and Trump with threats to forceable remove Kemp, a blue GA activated the Democrat base to know the flip was possible drawing incredible voting numbers.  And the rest is history ...  THANK YOU (!!)

Now to chat about me ...

I'm driving a long drive to pick up a foster today.  Through Atlanta and another hour south.  Hopefully, all is well with traffic (major construction), weather (rain and freezing rain) and any issues with the election results and Trump supporters.  I'll have to go into the vet AND use the bathroom during COVID -- ugh.

I'm full of anxiety this morning.  Everything swirling and landing down to my level.  Why today for pick up?!?  First couple days with a foster are stressful, I have lots of anxiety about a foster escaping when they first come and I'm not starting in a good mindset this morning.

I totally forgot all the prep I planned to do yesterday afternoon.  I was reading, just thinking to get up and get stuff ready for the foster and I got a text to turn on the news.  I didn't do anything after that -- totally my fault, I completely didn't think about it.  This morning is a scramble to get stuff set.

I need to calm down, spend a bit getting ready and manage my thoughts about this day.  Easy -- right?!?!  The anxiety is a story I'm telling myself.  Lord, I need a better story.

Well, let's hope for a calm day today.  Deep breath and move forward.  Stay well.  Later gators.