Starting with the all important vanity update (lol) ...

Suspense over ... jeans still fit ... relief.  AND put on mascara for the first time in many days - hello eyelashes.  The stuff works.  Even hubby commented (with a prompt from me, of course, but hey he sees it too!).

Lunch with a friend was absolutely what I needed yesterday.  Unfortunately, restaurant was super noisy (ugh headache) but felt good to be out and about.

Interesting chat with this girlfriend - she's a fellow dieter (WW) and is at a struggle point right now too.  What was interesting is I see so much of ME in her habits, choices, etc.  And I want to slap her straight.  Hello ... you know what to do ... you've done it before ... just stick to the basics ... make simple changes ... blah, blah, blah.  She is a walking, talking ME!!  Why I struggle to take my own advice is sometimes beyond me.

It was a good honest talk.  She held up the mirror and made me really see my own choices staring back.

So I will keep going.  Going beyond this setback and find my SIMPLE ways again.  They work. Plain and simple.

It may be another week or so before I can get back to regular exercise, listening to my Tony Robbins program, etc. but in the grand scheme of things a couple of weeks is no big deal.

Here's what I can do.

Find something to learn each day.
Find something happy in the day.
Eat enough, but not too much; make healthy choices.
Takes my cleansing breaths.
Put on lash grower (you know it - I'm obsessed!)

Okay - enough computer time (and thinking) for this healing brain of mine.  Later gators.

Hello cyber world.  I'm focusing on feeling "normal" today.  Mind over matter?!?!

I feel better each morning, hit a wall by lunch and am blah by evening.  But today is a new day ... so maybe some more progress.

I didn't walk yesterday.  My head hurt and I listened.  This morning I feel pretty good.  12 hours of restful sleep does wonders.  I'm going to walk and see how it makes me feel.  Maybe some of my blahs are just from NOT moving.

A friend is picking me up for a HEALTHY lunch ... yea!  I get to blow dry my hair and get dressed.  JOY!!  Hope my jeans fit ... seriously ... I hope they fit.  Need perspective, not the end of the world ... but I still hope they fit.

In other news ...

I signed up for MyFitnessPal.com (the free version).  Not having much success.  I log breakfast and sometimes lunch - then call it quits.  Probably because I was stuffing my face with cupcakes and didn't want to "see" the damage.  In my defense, not the best time to start this ... BUT ..

It sort of plays with my "all or nothing" again.  Can't log any exercise so the day feels like a failure before it even starts.  So why bother??

I am giving myself some slack this week.  I do have a brain trauma after all!  Also, I'm not sure I want to calorie count.  I started so I could see percentages of macros (fats, carbs, protein).  Maybe I need to try it for a week when I'm back to normal eating (um, today!!).  Funny enough - it "hurts" to think about all of this.  Darn this concussion.

On that note ... time to stop thinking and do a little walking.  You'd think with all this brain rest, I'd be a champion meditator.  Maybe I am ... silver lining :-)

I'm back!!

Well, sort of.  Still struggling with aftermath of a concussion, but making progress.

This set-back is frustrating - not gonna lie!  I feel like a big old blob.  Sitting all day ... doing NOTHING.  Reading "hurts", thinking "hurts" ... there is nothing to do.

Two friends (with nothing but great intentions) gave me SO many sweet treats.  I felt rude passing on the goodies.  And of course ate way too much.  Now I feel crappy from concussion AND crappy from sweets.  It was such a nice gesture, but I'm almost angry.  I thought they knew I am trying to clean up my sweet "problem" ... I didn't need this struggle.  And they are both signed off sweets right now too. Ultimately my responsibility, my choice, my mess-up.  But still ... (I'm having a pity party to go with my cake.)

Treats (what were left!!) went with hubby to work today.  Whew ... relief.

Need to put on my big girl panties and get back to basics.

I'm thinking of trying a slow, easy walk on the treadmill.  Just to see how it feels.  I need to MOVE!! But I need to be careful.  Concussions are the real deal.

But I need a win today.  Some sort of goal, progress, accomplishment.

Don't get me wrong.  I am so grateful this wasn't more serious and I am so grateful for family and friends who have been amazing.  But the (pity) party is in full swing.

Nice thing about life is there is always a do-over, a start again, a try harder opportunity.  And if we are lucky enough to have another day THAT IS ENOUGH.

Stay tuned tomorrow ... I'll REALLY be back!!

So why no post yesterday, you ask??

Drama 101.  Passed out, hit head, unresponsive ... ambulance, ED, CT ... concussion.  CRAZY day.

I have lots to post (about a really interesting class I took Saturday which is rocking my exercise and diet world!!).  But that's for another day.

Today, I just want to write that I really LOVE my husband.  He took amazing care of me.  Sweet, loving, perfect.  After all these years, it can be easy to not "see" each other and forget what you love about the man you spent more than half your life with ... the father of your children.  It was a reminder of the man he is ... AND he's MINE!!  I am blessed and grateful.

Home from ED and on the sofa for the rest of the day.  When I finally felt up to eating it was pizza and cupcake.  Not the best choice, but it's what I wanted and ... well ... I had a trauma filled day.  I did manage to put on my lash grower last night ... priorities lol!

Back to all my simple stuff today (minus the exercise until I heal up).

So many lessons learned from yesterday ... not a traditionally good day ... but amazing reminders of my blessed life.

Everything will be all right in the end... if it's not all right then it's not yet the end. - Sony from Exotic Marigold Hotel

I wrote yesterday that I've been a bit snack-y over the last few days (hello PMS) ... fruit and nuts in the form of Lara Bars.  They are really good ... chewy, thick, satisfying ... and many are just fruit and nuts (about 200 cal per bar).

Problem is they are TOO good (and almost a guilt-free option).  I bought a few (5 boxes) when they were on sale and have been eating over the last month or so.  But last few days, they were suddenly irresistible ... calling to me from the pantry.

So ... brought them to work and my dear work vultures took care of the problem for me.  Duh - easy solution.  Didn't waste them, didn't eat them and now that voice calling me is gone.

Last night was a breeze to keep on track.  No temptations lurking, just a healthy dinner (already made) to eat when I got home from work.  Well done me!

Now this is nothing new.  I buy lots of goodies for "other" reasons ... need for party in 3 weeks ... hubby may want this ... kids are coming home next week ... I should practice moderation anyway ... it's on sale ... etc, etc, etc.  My sneaky brain tries (and does) convince me I'm strong enough to resist the temptation and I SHOULD exercise that willpower - it'll make me stronger and prove I'm in control.

Not true - the witching hour always comes.

Then the food voice from the pantry starts calling.  Then the overeating junk begins. Then the regret. Then the food hangover, crappy energy, angry stomach. Then more regret.  And the cycle begins (continues).  It's exhausting.  And my "sneaky" brain knows it.

There is always a SIMPLE way to stop the cycle ... like starting with not buying it.  But I don't always do it.

I MUST remember to do the simple.  Take THAT sneaky brain and shove it!

Taking a minute to review my SIMPLE changes.

Do I like them?
Are they enough?
Are they working?

I've been working on these simple changes for varying times.

Adding yoga and interval training for about 6 weeks.  Progress??  Yes!  Getting better at holding poses, balance (even my instructor commented yesterday).  Also noticing a little more definition in my muscles.  It's a keeper.  (I'm correcting my posture as I type this ... when I notice, I should correct).  My mat, my journey, my choice.  Love this yoga philosophy!

Lash grower, yes, lash grower ... about 3 weeks.  Broken lashes on left eye have grown in.  Not huge difference yet, but says it takes 6-8 weeks to really get a change.  Plugging along and excited (because I'm always a little vain - and who doesn't want awesome lashes!).

Being open to day, looking for opportunities to learn, grow - noticing the good in the day.  It's been about a month - maybe a little less.  Boy oh boy does this work ... um ... WHEN I DO IT!!  Not easy to do all the time.  There are moments, days when I'm in a crappy mood and it's really hard to work through the weeds to find the zen.  Can you say PMS this week?!?  But being aware (I am a student of yoga now - lol) really helps to bring me to a better place.  It's that small shift in thinking - that focus on something positive, something good that makes a HUGE difference in how my day unfolds.

Not eating too much and making wise choices for about 2 weeks.  This is the hardest one (no surprise there!).  It's going well-ish but this week is PMS so I've been a bit too snack-y in the evenings.  Staying with healthy food, but too much fruit and nuts.  I'm starting to see results.  Pants fit a bit better ... muscles starting to appear as fat disappears ... sleep is good.  I remind myself it's NEVER worth it and it's just a few witching hours and the urge (cravings) pass.  This has to be a MUST in my life.  This is THE platform change for me.

Overall, good progress.  These are changes that I can sustain.  Not too radical, not too intense ... SIMPLE, but life changing.  Of course, I'm an impatient gal and want it all NOW.  But that's not the point.  All or nothing doesn't work for me.  Learning to accept something other than a straight line up or down.  Work in progress ... and the good news ... there is progress.

Off to run in the rain (needed a mind adjustment on this - lol).  Later gators.

Okay ... drum role please ...

Finally, my thoughts (notes) on Jim Rohn's lecture on DISEASES OF the MIND.

Negative is normal.  It's not successful, but it's normal.  You need to learn to handle it. - Jim Rohn

INDIFFERENCE

INDECISION

DOUBT

WORRY

OVER-CAUTION

PESSIMISSISM

COMPLAINING (worst of all!)

All ways of being that are NOT productive, NOT healthy and can be fatally destructive to a good day, week, month, life, etc.

I find myself too easily knee deep in these behaviors.  Hello complaining!  

"Better thinking habits" create a better life.  We are what we think.  Thoughts (true or not) become our reality.

I want this post to serve as a reminder to me to limit these DISEASES.  Watch for them 'cause they will sneak up - invade the mind - ruin the day - block the OPENNESS.

Love me some Jim Rohn.  

Yesterday was a fantastic day!

It was a perfect example of being open to the day.

Fantastic lecture by Dr. Anthony Chan.  Sat at his table (next to him) for lunch.  Great table, great conversation, great learning and sharing.

Later, had a chance meeting with our former realtor who was showing clients our neighborhood.  Helped connect her with a neighbor who will be putting her house on the market.  Universe doing it's thing.

Yes, open to the day.

Now today.  Happy 22nd birthday to our eldest son!  How can I have a child who is 22?!?  He is kind, bright, hysterically funny, quite good-looking (lol) and an overall great person.  Rose colored glasses you ask ... nope ... he really is that awesome ... trust me :-)

Now back to yesterday.

A lot of the workshops and reading I've been doing lately (remember ... quest for new and improved me ... a little slice of zen) talk about surrounding yourself with people who lift you up - intellectually, emotionally, morally.

You know, the quality of the company you keep says a lot about you ... etc.

Yesterday was all about high quality people.  Everyone I interacted with yesterday was interesting, inspiring, kind, intelligent, purposeful.  And I noticed it.  Eyes and ears open to the day.

It's a really powerful concept ... noticing, finding the positive, focusing on doing better ... but it's actually so SIMPLE.  But as Jim Rohn says sometimes simple doesn't get done because it is simple - catch 22.

Starting my day with intention, openness helps direct the day for the GOOD.  I know I write about this a lot, but it's something I need reminding on daily.  My default setting doesn't always take me there - time to change the default - or a least fight against it.

Haven't forgotten about the Jim Rohn lecture I watched - very powerful and I want to write about it.  It's going to take some thinking so stay tuned (lol).

Off to yoga and HIITS class this morning.  Later gators.

I was planning to write about a Jim Rohn video I watched yesterday.  He tells simple stories (almost boring in fact) and then WHAM ... huge kicker that knocks you off your feet.  But I'll wait until I have more time .... 'cause it's an important entry ... something I want to re-read when I need that old kick in the buttocks.

So today is about ME, yesterday.  I'm proud of my yesterday self.

Had a girls night social group last night.  Just a few door down.  Always involves lots of wine (since no driving), food and a fun time.  I had planned to stay the course (this was not going to be an exception night).  Why??  Because Saturday IS an exception night.  And exceptions have to be just that ... can't have too many in a row ... duh!!

Well, anyway ... looked like Saturday was going to fall through.  Enter brain conversation ...

Maybe you should make tonight an exception?
Don't you deserve it?
Won't be fun if you don't drink.
It's just a glass or two.

BUT, I didn't listen.  I stayed the course.  Reminded myself of my WHYs.  Reminded myself this night didn't need to be an exception.  AND, the best part ... I had a great time.  We socialized, made pillows, ate good food (lots of healthy choices).

AND ... wait for it ... came home to learn Saturday was a go again.  So thank the lord I didn't change up last night.  Good job ME!

Oh and I feel good this morning.  No wine or food blahs, no regrets, no self-loathing ... nothing but proud.

Today I'm off to an economic lecture sponsored by our investment banker.  I'll pass on the wine, eat healthy, get a good nap (just kidding - hope it's not that boring!).  I'm going with hubby - kind of date day.  This is part of my learn new shit stuff quest.

It worked because it's a MUST and it's not an UNTIL.  I'm open to this day and what it has to offer (hello economics).

I feel a bit at a loss at what to write about today.

So here's a recap of my day yesterday.

The tired, get-this-day-over feeling never quite left me.  It was a hard, long day.  Came home to an empty house (yea!) except my precious pup, of course, and plopped on the sofa to get my junk TV on big time!  I stayed the course with my food, but it was a struggle.  I started that head-talk again.  Same conversation, just another day.

It helps me to keep repeating IT'S NEVER WORTH IT.  And I remind myself it's just the witching hour and it will pass.  I also don't want to let myself down on this journal.  Kind of weird, I know (since it's just me here!!) but I'll take whatever works.

How do I feel today?  Kind of tired still.  But it's day 10 of Whole30 ... (and that's common).

I need to find my mojo today.

JOY - the kind of happiness that doesn't depend on what happens.  (meme)

I need to remember this!!  I tried yesterday, but just couldn't sustain it (wonder if it was a full moon .. 'cause lordy were the crazies were out in force).

But another day in the books.  I managed my SIMPLE actions for the day.  I learned ... I ate well, but not too much ... I breathed and tapped ... and I put on my lash grower :-)

Lots of fun planned today BUT only if I make a point to notice, a point to focus on the good and let go of the crap from yesterday.

I'm open to this day and what it has to offer ... starting with a Starbucks run ... later gators.

It is better to travel well than to arrive.  Buddha

I'm using my Day-By-Day journal (called "Better Than Before" by Gretchen Rubin).  Today starts week 2.  Every new week offers a message and a thought to start journalling.

This week's thought is about having a habit with a starting and stopping point.  Just what I talked about recently ... I called it UNTIL.

It's a point worth re-hearing.  She says a finish line often promotes the STOP.  There are some habits we should follow indefinitely.  This shift in thinking is what I need to make these changes permanent ... part of how I do business ... part of who I am.

I'm actively changing some core habits ... creating a new routine.  This is hard in the beginning.  It's working new "muscles" so to speak.  But it's becoming easier.

Then it will become HARD again, probably very hard.  When??  When I feel better ... when my pants fit well ... when I've been good for so long ... when I see the changes ... when I miss my old dysfunctional routine.

The temptation will be to ease up a bit on the new routine.  One exception is no big deal.  Got to live life, got to live with moderation.  And I believe that philosophy.  BUT I need to make sure one exception is really just that ... not the start down a slippery slope like SO MANY TIMES BEFORE!

My brain knows me so well.  It knows how to talk me down that road ... with it's little innocent thoughts.  Then the crack appears, the door starts to open, the slip begins.

If you are tired of starting over than don't stop. (some meme I read)

Okay, ramblings over for today ... I'm out of time.  I'm up early for work with a little brain fog still.  I'm reminding myself to be open to this day, excited to see what it has to teach me.  Because honestly, I'm fighting the urge to just want it over (busy work day, yucky commute, blah blah blah).  But I will find my inspiration ... probably once I wake up!  Later gators.

Yesterday my yoga instructor asked us to declare an intention for the workout.

I chose OPENESS.

Open my body.
Open my mind to what the day had to offer and teach.
Open my spirit to be kinder.

I liked declaring an intention, a purpose.  Made me focus on that intention throughout the workout and the day.  And ...

Where focus goes, energy flows.  Tony Robbins.

In the spirit of full disclosure, I found myself giving an angry beep to a truck meandering in the neighborhood (community garage sale) and stopping in middle of road over and over.  And this was on the drive home from yoga.  And I was actively thinking how to be "open" for the day.  But I was really hungry ... so I'm a work in progress (and then some!)  I did realize that wasn't exactly a kinder spirit moment.

But, the rest of the day felt successful.  I'm still amazed what I "see" when I look.

I like the idea starting the day with a little thought, a little prayer if you will ...

Let me be open to this day and what it has to bring.  

It's a nice way to begin.

I've been thinking a lot lately about why I can't make EATING WELL and EATING ENOUGH (not over eating) a life philosophy.

I do it well, but I do it UNTIL.

Until the vacation.
Until the 30 days.
Until my goal weight.
Until the party.
Until a stressor.

I say the right words ... "it's a life change, not a diet."  But I don't treat it that way, not really.  Some nice lip-service to the concept.  I know the tag line well.

A real decision if measure by the fact that you've taken a new action.  If there's no action, you haven't truly decided. - Tony Robbins

So time for new action.  Time to accept that this needs to be lasting change, lasting work, lasting results.  Forever seems like, well ... forever.  But if I focus on this as a positive, inspired, exciting change ... something I WANT to do ... forever is possible, achievable, desirable.

And it is a MUST.  I must do this for my health.  I must do this for my sanity.  I must do this because I deserve to feel great.  I must do this because I've worked too hard to fail.  Must, must, must.  And I CAN and I AM.

This may seem like a duh moment.  Umm, of course, you need to do this forever?!?!  But it's actually a big epiphany for me.  I didn't consciously realize I didn't actually make it a life philosophy.  I guess I'm good BS'er and I fell hook, line and sinker for it.

I'm excited I "found" something to change.  I felt so discouraged by the fact that I've tried everything ... I know everything ... but I couldn't succeed.  It's rare (actually never) I've given so much focus and work toward a goal and not succeeded.  I was frustrated, angry, defeated ... but I came back to give it another go.  IT'S THAT IMPORTANT to me.  I can't let it go.  I have to find a way.

And I have.  Sound the sirens, raise the roof ... folks this is real ... it's a MUST.

Today will be a short post.

Why?  I'm moving so slowly this morning, I'm almost out of time before I need to head out for a run. And my brain is not fully awake.

Yesterday was a really good day.  Achieved 4 out of 5 zen stars. (Would have been a 5, but I had to get ready for work today... automatic deduction.)

I bagged my golf league (weather was iffy and it was cart path only) and took my FAVORITE workout class.  Combination of tabata and flow yoga.  OMG best workout EVER!  Unfortunately, only offered on Thursday mornings when I have golf league.  I need to give it some more thought, but I may drop golf league altogether.  Long story ... no time today ...

Met a friend for lunch (also a fair weather golfer who bagged yesterday).

Then shopped for some yoga clothes.  Running clothes and yoga clothes only have some overlap. (i.e. when you do a downward dog in most running shirts your shirt flips down your face.)  So I only have one shirt that worked ... black with big bleach stain across front ... also a clean-the-house shirt.  Classy.  Wore it to EVERY class.

Finding yoga tops is tricky. So many are little, tiny, crazy tight, can't-get-in-or-out variety.  Or they have cut outs or weird flow-y panels.  But after lots of trying on ... and a few stuck moments ... success!!

Now I'm an official yogie (is that how you spell it?) with clothes to match.  Bleach shirt is demoted back to a cleaning and running-in-the-dark shirt. (And, no ... I have no plans to throw it out ... I keep my workout clothes until they fall apart or my husband intervenes ... sore subject!)

Tomorrow's post should be back to words of wisdom.  Happily, typing away has given me just enough wake-up to go running.  Later gators.

We must all suffer one of two things.  Pain of discipline or pain of regret. - Jim Rohn

Last night was tough.  It's those witching hours when I do the damage, sabotage the work, listen to the voice that so relentlessly compels me to follow bad habits.  I just kept repeating ... "it's never worth it."

And it isn't.  I ALWAYS regret giving in - almost immediately in fact.

So what spurred the struggle last night??  A friend suggested a night out in a couple of weeks with a group of friends we don't see very often.  I'll be on day 14 of Whole30.  I decided if plans happen, I'll stop my Whole30 and resume the next day.  One dinner of moderate eating will not make a difference - a missed night out with friends I don't get to see often will.

I'm working around all sorts of social functions.  They aren't a big deal, but this is something I don't want to miss and working around isn't COMPLETELY possible (I can keep the meal compliant-ish but I will be drinking a bit).

Oh, and it's worth mentioning, when I say "never worth it" I mean something spontaneous, not planned, crappy junk from the pantry eaten alone, eaten in secret ... not worth it!

So that f***ing (excuse my French) "all or nothing" hit me again.  Well, if I'm not really doing a Whole30  ...

Ugh, ugh and double ugh!!!

So here's the fault in that logic brain of mine.   LISTEN UP!

It's what you do consistently, regularly that shapes the results - not the every-once-in-awhile stuff.  This dinner may not even happen (there's a reason we don't see these friends often - schedules are tough!)
This is about long-term goals, living a life, breaking the pattern of all or nothing.
Oh, and IT'S NEVER WORTH IT!!!

There was such relief when I went to bed last night.  Conversation over, struggle finished, battle won.  I read my book, did my breathing (and tapping - boy that feels good), applied my lash grower and found a little zen.

Dear Future Self,

It's NEVER worth it!!

Love,
The Your Current-Struggling-To-Not-Raid-The-Pantry Self

I've been on this INSPIRATION HIGH over the last week + ... listening, learning, doing more and more each day.  Pumped and excited to see how these small changes make a big difference over time.  They are small, but there are a lot of them.  And I keep adding to the list.

Now, I'm tired.

I started feeling the weight of all these changes piling up.  Started thinking every moment needed to be filled with something life changing ... breath better, tap those pressure points, watch educational youtube, correct that posture, think zen-ish thoughts.

You see where I'm going with this.

Fortunately, the universe stepped in just when I was getting discouraged.  I was listening to Tony Robbins (who is a big believer in using net-zero time, learning, etc).  He's my guru for change.  He said one simple thing that almost made me cry (not really) with relief.  I'm paraphrasing ... "but of course you don't need to fill every minute doing all this."

Relief.  I don't have to be perfect.

So I decided when I'm having a less enthused day, less energy, maybe even a bad day (cue shock!), I can just do the basic stuff and then sit down to Real Housewives of Beverly Hills and let my mind go to mush.

When I'm having a SuperWoman kind of day ... go for it ... do, be, learn, push, etc.

And the days in-between should be somewhere in-between.

I feel better.  I really am an "all or nothing" kind of girl and in my quest for being moderate, I snuck in the "all" again somehow.

Living, learning, growing, trying.  Lordy it's a process.

Yesterday was a good day, but not without it's hiccups.

My friend cancelled on our dog walk and lunch which left me more upset than I expected.  I had declined other plans for the day (2 in fact) and I was annoyed.  The dog and I still went to the park, but I found myself in a grumpy mood.  Took some time, but eventually I put my breathing into action and got out of the funk. (It really works.) In, in, in, in ... out, out, out, out.

Lots of good in the day too.  A nice man helped guide me on the trail to the dog park (went out of his way).   Another friend gave me flowers as a thank-you ... makes me smile when I see them!  A very good friend posted the kindest note about me on Facebook ... made me feel loved.  I had a kick-ass workout.  Listened to the next CD from Tony Robbins.  Ate well, stayed on plan.  Finished a book.

I say all this because it's amazing how I can so easily choose to focus on the one annoyance of the day (and it was probably more disappointment than annoyance if I'm being totally honest).  But it's hard to change my PATTERNS, my ROUTINES ... my FOCUS.  Took effort, but I did it.

And, of course, when I was annoyed my brain went immediately to the food conversation ... you deserve something ... you'll feel better ... one treat won't matter.  Shut up.  I loath this conversation!!  I wonder if the day will come when I don't think those thoughts.  It's a HUGE goal.  Am I reaching too high??  I don't know, but I keep fighting the fight ...

It was a happy day because I noticed the good in the day.

I'm a little ramble-y today, kind of tired (hello first week of Whole30).  I have some thoughts on this, but I'll save it for tomorrow's chat.  Oh the suspense ...

Signing off to make crockpot chili and get ready for a yoga class ... oh and almost forgot a 90 min MASSAGE!!  I feel myself relaxing already.

As soon as I saw you, I knew an adventure was going to happen. - Winnie the Poo

I like the idea of tapping into my adventurous side.  You see, I'm kind of a bland, vanilla kind of girl (most of the time).  It's my default setting.  Same routines, same day, SAME, SAME, SAME.

Sometimes that serves me really well.  Keeps my good habits going.  I'm reliable, responsible and that's something I'm proud of.

Problem is ... sometimes it makes for a bland sort of day, week, month, etc. if I don't push out of my default setting.  Now, I'm not talking about crazy adventure (only once in a blue moon - it's really for my own safety - don't get my husband started on this!).  I'm talking about stepping out of my routine and changing things up a bit.

My goal of learning something new has helped a lot with this change.  I look for ways to learn, ways to do or be different than I was yesterday.

And when you look, you find. - ME

It's surprisingly simple stuff that makes the day more inspired, interesting, accomplished.  Makes me excited to start the day - even a regular sort of errand-running, cleaning-up kind of day gets a facelift.

And it makes me feel HAPPY.  So the difference between mah and happy is just a small shift.  "Regular" days make up my life.  Easy to be happy on spectacular days, on a great vacation, etc. But those days aren't as frequent.  Finding a way to enjoy the regular days makes a happy life.

Day 2 of my Whole30.  Yesterday was a breeze (1st day is).  Still not over the moon about this decision, but the good news is I don't have to be.  I just have to do it (thanks Nike!).

AND ... guess what ... when I have little adventures waiting for me today, I'm excited for this day in other ways.

What awaits me today you ask???

New dog park with a friend and outdoor lunch at a dog friendly cafe.
New workout routine today - mixing it up.
Watching Pride and Prejudice (I've NEVER seen it!) tonight with a friend ... on a Monday night!!
Oh and paying the bills, washing sheets, dry cleaner - you get the idea!

Regular day with a touch of adventure.  Love me some Winnie the Poo!

Today starts my 3rd Whole30.

I'm not exactly jumping for joy, but I need to move to my healthy, feel-good place and Whole30 gets me there.  I eat 3 meals, don't snack and having sugar out of my diet does wonders for EVERYTHING!

That said, it's a lot of work.  The food is FABULOUS but every meal requires effort to make and effort to clean-up ... hello dishes!

But a month of strict goodness puts me in a great position for success and maximizing my simple improvement habits.

About 19 years ago I gave up soda - cold turkey after years of trying to moderate.  I drank way, way, way too much soda.  Abstaining was the only solution.  It was hard.  Especially that long ago ... before water was sold in vending machines, before fizzy waters hit the market, before it was "normal" to drink something else.  But it needed to happen.

I feel I'm on the same path with sugar.  I don't moderate it well ... I never feel my best when I eat it ... it's plain old not-good-for-me ... but I eat it anyway.  I've tried every version of moderation with only limited, short-term success.  A painful breakup is probably in my future, but I continue to resist it.  With each Whole30, I come closer to that decision.  This might be the one.

Rome wasn't built in a day.  Working toward something better.  Later gators.

Last night was fun ... followed my plan ... NO BIG DEAL!!  Point to remember - MODERATION is my friend too.

Anyway ...

A journal (and kind of a book) I ordered came last night.  "Better Than Before - A Day By Day Journal" by Gretchen Rubin.  Someone recommended her books and I liked the idea of a directed journal.  Some inspirational quotes, thoughts to ponder and the best ... a weekly check off list of your habits (aka my simple stuff).  LOVE a list, LOVE to check things off ... PEFECT!

It's interesting that I often won't hold myself accountable when I plan in my mind.  But give me a list to cross off, a blog entry to write and it's practically written in stone.  But ... it's still all ME.  No one reads this blog but ME.  No one manages my to-do list but ME.

So "written" me is more powerful than "mind" me.  Or at least more accountable.  Wonder if that's true for others too?  What do you all think (just kidding - I know it's still just me with no multiple personalities that I'm aware of)? And I agree :-)

Stuff to think about.

I think today is a yin-yang sort of day.

My yin ... tabata class, yoga class, golf -- ahhhhhh ... I feel the zen.

My yang ... wine tasting, cocktail bar, Italian dinner .... ugh ... I feel the hangover.

I'm still trying to stay out of my head about tonight.  I'm on a good balanced path this week and I hate to pull myself down tonight.   But I will - I feel like I have no choice.

So here's the compromise.

MODERATION on alcohol - drink slowly!!!
MODERATION on dinner - choose wisely.
NO snacking or drinking when I get home.
Saturday morning back on track.

Now that I have a plan ... final step ... STOP thinking about it.  Good lord, this isn't a life or death event, it's a night out.  Okay - done.

___________________________________________________________________________

So more on my simple changes to make a better day, better week, etc.

(1)  Learn something everyday.
This has been more fun than I expected.  I actually find myself looking for places to find some learning.  It's like my own little daily quest.

(2)  Add strength, flexibility, cross-training to my workout.
Check, check and check.  Thank you new yoga studio.

(3)  Eat healthy.  Eat enough, but not too much.  And balance during social situations.
Hardest one.  I'm forging on with this.  A few hours every evening are a huge challenge.  Fortunately, I'm it's only a few hours - daytime is not a problem (never has been).  And when I drink socially, it's a tough one to remember.

(4)  Put on lash grower.
Yep - really!!  My friend started using it and OMG her lashes are magnificent.

4 simple changes.  I'll keep you posted (it's still just me, but I can pretend!)  Later gators!

You can't complain about the results you didn't get from the work you didn't do. 

This is a brilliant statement (and seems like many have said it, so I don't know who to credit this quote).  Anyway ... it's another of my go-to mantras as I keep plugging along on an upgraded ME.

For a few years, I've wanted to improve on a few things physically.

Bad posture (horrible in fact).
Low strength (cardio junky here ... hate the "other" stuff).
Poor flexibly (genetics aren't helping me on this one).

I'd give it a half-assed try occasionally (probably more like a quarter-assed try) with no results (duh!!)

Here's what I told myself.

Plenty of time to work on my posture ... it's not THAT bad!
Important muscle is the heart and when I add strength training I get injured.
Poor flexibility - it's how I'm made - it just is that way.

So I never gave it a real effort.

Okay, so time for no more excuses.  Just focusing on cardio has left me poorly balanced and injured more than not over the last couple of years.

Music is on - time to face it.

It's taken me over six months of procrastination (I'm quite good at that) to find a yoga studio, contact said studio and schedule a private lesson to help with my insecurity that I suck at all things yoga.

But I did it.  Now I'm week 3 of a new student month membership which lets you try everything they offer.  Love, love, love the Tabata classes (type of HIIT workout) and the flow yoga.  (BTW, I still suck at it but now I don't care.)

My mind was finally ready, but my body ... it's in shock.  Oh, is it tired (in a good way - I think).  This is the first time I'm REALLY focusing on these goals and I can't wait to see how my body responds.  To incorporate the new workouts I've cut back on my running (careful to not get injured).  Funny how absence makes the heart grow fonder ... I'm actually excited on my run days.

Key is to keep going.

Motivation gets you started, habit keeps you going. - Jim Rohn.

Yesterday did not disappoint!  

Fun, challenging, beautiful day ... revived me in so many ways and I'm grateful I payed attention.

Unfortunately, slept like CRAP last night.  Too much caffeine in my lunch iced tea.  Today may be a struggle (already is!).

Tonight I need to be diligent in practicing my simple disciplines, particularly eating healthy and eating enough - not too much.  When I'm tired, I let my guard down and all sorts of thoughts ... justifications ... excuses ... enter my head talk.  

I mentioned I struggle with "on" "off" concept - all or nothing.  I've had a few good days of eating well and already feel positive changes (duh ... why don't I do it more often ... so simple).  Feeling that turn in the right direction feels SO GOOD!

Except Friday is coming.  I have a wine tasting followed by dinner at a new Italian restaurant.  (Too much) Wine + lots of carbs = feeling crappy.  Canceling on good friends is not an option.  And my direction can turn again - down the feel blah road - and the turn-around in a better direction feels miles away and all uphill.

So what do I do???  Can I moderate what I eat and drink??  I don't know.  And it's that head game that can steer me off track potentially.  Crazy????  Yep!!  THIS is what I need to change.  One evening shouldn't scare (and worry) me or throw me off track for days or take up so much head space. 

Trying one step at a time.  First step - do not let the "thought" of Friday (and a tired, long day at work) give me reason (excuse) to crap out the rest of the week.

How long should you try?  Until.  - Jim Rohn

 Well, enough rambles this early morning.  Off to run folks.

Another day in the books for the "good" guys!

Success is nothing more that a few simple disciplines practiced everyday. - Jim Rohn  Disciples done and in the books for yesterday.

WHY??
Because "Motivation gets you started.  Habit keeps you going." - Jim Rohn

So on this quest for change, I've incorporated a few simple disciplines (to the simple disciplines I already do) to design a better day ... and a better week ... and a better month ... which builds a better life.  I'm excited to see where this takes me.

So what have I added???  Well, more on that another day ...

(I'd say this was a teaser to keep you reading, but since it's just me here, I'm actually not in the mood to type it all out today!)

Today is going to be a good day.  My son is home from college on break and we are both off from work.  First a Tabata class - awesome HIIT workout to build strength (hint, hint ... it's part of my daily disciplines); next a MASSAGE - WOO HOO; and finally lunch at a new Civeche restaurant.

BODY, MIND and SPIRIT (and stomach!) DAY all shared with one of my favorite people on the planet.  And I'm focused and ready to enjoy it all.  Because sometimes, I don't.  Crap gets in head (I get in my head) and I end up "missing" it.  A perfect zen day down the toilet.

Not today folks ... here's to a good one.  Until tomorrow ...

It's an early, but good morning.

I get up super early (3:25 am) on days I work so I can fit in my workout before a long commute to work, mandatory stop at Starbucks and a quick fill-up at the gas station.  All before 6:50.

Yesterday was an "on" day .... ate healthy, ate enough (not more than enough), bed without snacking. Don't know if that was my new found accountability on the blog (lol) or that fact that Saturday was a big time "off" day!  Either way ... it was a step in the right direction.

Working toward the new and improved ME, I am also reading some more intellectual books before bed.  I have a couple going now.  The Lessons of History, When Breath Becomes Air and Healing Back Pain: Mind-Body Connection.  Read from the history book last night ... interesting, but dry ... perfect read before bed :-)  Although I wish I had bought on Kindle since every sentence has a word I don't know and I'm too lazy to look up!

Signing off to go for a run.  I love running in the early hours when everyone is in bed, the streets are quiet, the air is still cool.  It's one of my zen-ish moments for the day.

I'm sitting here trying to decide if I really want to put my "stuff" out there in cyber-land.  I hope someone eventually reads what I post (I like input and conversation!), but I don't really want anyone I know to see this ... I feel silly for writing and it feels self-absorbed.  I've posted on some forums over the years, but never anything just about ME.

But in the name of change and growth (that is the end goal), I'll give this a shot.

If you don't like how things are, change it!  You're not a tree. -- Jim Rohn

I'm a huge fan of one (or two!) liner motivation quotes.  And this one sums it up for me.  I want some balance, some zen mixed with hard stuff and I am determined to find my way.

Maybe writing will give me some accountability (even if it's just with me) and help me understand why I do what I do and don't always do what I should.

I'm tired of ongoing running injuries ... so I just started at a yoga studio ... hoping strength and flexibility (both of which I suck) will help me find a balance.

I'm getting ready to do my 3rd Whole30 (orthodox paleo for 30 days) to get me off the sugar train and back to eating real stuff.   I'm a classic yo-yo dieter and I HATE gaining and losing the same 20 lbs over and over.  7 years ago circumstances brought me to a 75 lb weight gain.  Jenny Craig got me back (thank God for that program) but I want something less packaged and more real.  I do binge-y eating at night and need to break that pattern.  I have no balance ... I'm "on" or I'm "off."

And I'm looking for just plain old personal growth.  I'm where I want to be professionally but I still want challenges in my life ... something that inspires and gets me pumped to be better (at something!) ... I LOVE Tony Robbins and am working on a repeat of his programs now.

Okay, that's enough for Day1 cyber world!