Back Out AGAIN

I think I understand what happened.

Abs workout with a particular set of floor exercise.  Bent over to pick up a dog and back totally out.  I never actually picked up the dog -- just bent over.  Fun times.

I still drove to tanning.
I still went and picked up my new glasses.
I still went to lunch.
Priorities.

YUM!
I had grilled chicken on a GF bun.
Special seasoned fries too.

Then I spent the day lying in bed after poaching one of hubby's muscle relaxers.  Dang, I'm hurting.

This morning is marginally better and I'm still going to the Farmers Market, but no workout (and no 5 o'clock).

I'm bummed, but maybe I know why I keep injuring my back.  It was after that ab workout last time too.

Anyway, tan is processing.  Right now it looks like my legs are covered in dirt.  It a 24 hour processor so I'll shower shortly.  I need to scrub some dark areas off my toes which will be tricky today.  Pictures to come.

Love my new glasses but I'll wait to wear them until I can walk upright.  The progressive RX is a lot higher and that throws me off sometimes.  Pictures to come later too.

I probably need to bump my cooking until tomorrow because of my back.  That said, I don't think I'll go to the Unity Church unless my back makes a quick recovery.  I have to cook, take care of dogs and hubby is golfing.  Driving and sitting for a service might be too much.  I'll wait and see though.   I won't be working out so I can make a morning decision.

I'll leave with this cute picture of Duke spooning his toy.  Dogs love an afternoon in bed!!  Later gators.

Labor Day Weekend

Good morning -- it's 5 o'clock.  Haven't been up this early in a week.  It's out of necessity if I want to workout this morning.

Guess what I'm doing?

Spray tan!!  (Legs only -- I'm not brave enough to do something that can't be hidden.)  My pasty pale legs are getting a bit of color as prep options for a shorter dress at my son's wedding.  Stay tuned.  Pictures -- before and after coming.  I'm excited, but not overly assured this will work for me.

I have an early appointment because we're headed downtown to The MART to pick up my new sunglasses -- then a late lunch date with hubby.

Should be a good day.

Yesterday was a massage day and April was off her game -- in a big way.  Oh no!  I don't know what was up.  I did a 90 minute because my body hurts.  She spent 30 minutes doing a lousy foot massage -- barely massaging and I could hear her yawning.  I'll go back to a 60 minutes and schedule in the morning.  This was the first time I used her in the afternoon.  Maybe that was it.  I'll be so sad if our time has come to an end.  She gives the best back massage when she's on her game (yesterday it was quick and not good).  Everyone gets another chance though ...

I also got a pedicure because my toenails got super long and broke and were a hot mess.  Pampered day.

Labor Day Weekend is here.  I'm planning some oldies but goodies for the weekend fun.  Farmers Market tomorrow.  Unity Service on Sunday.  Kids for a grill out Sunday night.

This means up every morning at 5 o'clock.  It's tricky with the foster dog, but I'll see if I can pull it off.  So far this morning it's working.  Little bugger loves a warm bed.

I have to finish menu plans for Sunday.  Hubby is picking up steaks from our favorite (and only) butcher shop.  I'm making mac & cheese and then I'm stuck for ideas.  I want something EASY and by easy I mean few steps.  I've been cooking a number of easy recipes but they have 15 steps and it takes forever.

Maybe the Farmers Market will come through with some ideas for munchies and dessert.  Then I can do a quick salad and some garlic bread for the rest of the dinner.  Actually, as I type this ... yep, great bread stand, great dessert stand and some fun dip mixes.  Short cuts sound nice.  I'll be gone all morning, hubby is golfing all day and I'm on dog duty.  I want little work for Sunday.

Thought this was funny.  Title:  His and Hers - The Great Divide.






















Look at this happy dog.  He's super proud of himself.  He tried to jump the sofa, but needed a lift.  It was too heavy to hang on, but adorable to watch him figure it out.  He sat on the sofa for about 30 minutes chewing away.  He's so sweet and will make someone very happy.  He and Duke have figured out the playing thing and they race around at least twice a day.  PJ smiles the entire time.




I can't believe we are moving to September this weekend.  This year I'm extra excited for fall -- lots of fun stuff ahead and looking forward to some cooler weather soon.

Have a great Friday -- later gators.

My Inner Hypochondriac is Showing

First, let me say ... I'm a nurse and and a grown-ass woman ... this is extra embarrassing.  I thought the word was HYPERchondriac.  I'm dumbstruck.  I've been saying it wrong MY WHOLE LIFE.  I had to look it up because spell check wasn't getting me and I couldn't figure out why.  On that note ...

You're welcome, just in case this is news.
Lay and lie -- education for me.

But back to the hypochondriac business.  

I was convinced something was wrong with me -- two somethings for the last few months.

First, I found a big dent (crater) on my skull which I swear wasn't there before.  I googled and nothing good if your skull is disintegrating.  The area is hard, but how could I not notice it before?  Months go by (actual months) and every day I push and press and exam my skull.  I had no other symptoms, but I promise -- it's a big dent.  

Then I remembered.  I used to joke that I have a soft spot on my head like babies do because I had a padded area on my head.  That's gone and a crater is left.  I bet aging took away the "fat pad" and that's what I'm feeling.  (I know we're thinking the same ... if only it took away other fat pads.)

I never went to the doctor because what would the doctor say?  I had a CT scan with my head injury a few year ago and nothing showed up.  I have no other symptoms.  I asked my hairdresser if my head looked okay in that area -- for sun reasons LOL.  It was normal looking.

It was such a worry -- I'm a fool.  (Or if I'm not, and this is deadly, I was right -- but a fool not to go to the doctor.)

Second fit of hypochondriac panic.  Heartburn.  Never had it.  I've had some acid reflux, but never burning point that radiated across my chest.  Various times.  Worse at night.  Left side, right side, upper back.  Felt like someone put a hot coal and left it there -- then it would stop.

Heart attack?  Warning sign?  I've also had a cardiac workup when I had the passing out problems and everything was perfect.  What could possibly be wrong now?

Cold brew coffee.

It gives me heartburn.  Not the caffeine (I'm fine with nitro from the heartburn perspective).  It's something about Starbucks cold brew that gives me The Burn.  I started the correlation and then tested it -- yep.  The heartburn was so much worse on Whole30 because I was "treating" myself to a cold brew a few times a week.  I had a moment when I remembered a friend told me certain coffee beans don't agree with her stomach.  Cue the lightbulb.  I was having cold brew rather than nitro to watch my caffeine intake.  No good deed ... haha.

I'm a big fan of figuring out stuff myself AND I have education on things medical AND I have google.  But, funny how I worried and worried and never saw a doctor.  There have been times when I don't shit around -- to the doctor I go, but I'm glad neither of these ended up being a long, costly workup.  Especially since neither was anything but a case of the HYPOs.  

If I hadn't had a full workup with my passing out problem and subsequent head injury, I probably would have gone to the doctor -- especially the heartburn.  I wanted to take OTC anti-acid, but I never could remember to buy it.  Now I know ... cold brew with consequences.  

I haven't wanted to talk about either because I was worried.  Put it in writing and it's REAL.  I'm glad I finally did because I learned how to spell a dang 5th grade word -- or more correctly, I learned I had the word completely WRONG.  Goodness.  Always a student.  That makes it sound better than always a dunce.

Thoughts are powerful.  Worry is powerful.  Both are often wrong.  Big lesson for me for all the other "worries" and thoughts that I act as a truth.

Reminder for future me because this is something I forget all too often.

Later gators.

Hair Day and PSA

Yesterday felt nicely like the new-old me.  The one that had her shit together, head high, smile on.

Started with a forced workout -- not in the mood for weights, but it was the only option for not getting into a back/overuse problem.  Then a really good meditation -- longer than normal JUST BECAUSE -- never looked at the timer.  That hasn't happened in a long time.

Hubby asked to come on errands and I said nope -- too many and I need some quiet.  He was very nice about it and went on his own errands.

I started with lunch out and a book and a big booth (not the little 2 seater) and I didn't care.  It hit the spot.  Lemon chicken soup and a greek salad.

Then a HUGE Target run where I ran into one of my besties.  Hugs, conversation, connection.  I checked out in a regular line because I had so many things and had a fun conversation with the checkout gal.  Being nice on purpose.  Making eye contact.  Being curious (learned the gift card "number" can now be scanned too -- no manual entry).  All that new-old me stuff and it felt good.

Home for a medium-sized cook up which also hasn't happened in TOO long!  Sweet potatoes in the pressure cooker for eating cold today (with salt and cinnamon -- tastes like pie).  Roasted potatoes with onions.  Meatballs -- or my version -- between meatloaf and meatball minus the bread crumbs.  I cooked up the dog treats (lean meat mixture to add to kibble) and cleaned out the refrigerator.

I have a few dinners planned for the week.  I didn't want to cook ahead too much because I'll be tempted to snack rather than have a regular dinner.  Same food, different habits -- a meal is a better mental fit for nighttime.  I also bought enough stuff for a green drinks the next few mornings.  I've been low on veggie intake and that boosts it.

Starting a new book.  Total trashy, cheesy read.  The Rules of Magic -- Alice Hoffman.  Turns out it's a Reese Witherspoon bookclub pick.  Witches.  Fantasy.  It gets good reviews.  I searched for a mystery/suspense book and got talked out of them by the reviews.  They rarely get universally good reviews so I don't know why I read the bad ones - hah.

Also, we went back to watch Derry Girls and I went from -- it's okay to loving it.  I need to go back to the early episodes now that I understand the accent better.  Dang, it's hilarious!

Totally switching to coaching stuff -- I've been working on setting boundaries, saying no, saying yes to me.  All the usual stuff.  I'm having a solid week of standing firm for myself.  Taking a pause before saying yes has helped weed out some "too much" favor things.  Close call -- can you temp foster for 5 days -- now it's take over completely.  I suspected it was going that direction -- dodged a bullet because this is PJs brother -- more of the same issues.  I might be in a bit of an aggressive phase of boundary setting (i.e. every little thing - hubby will complain about that hah) but I needed to stand up again.

I had to FIRMLY say no to a big family situation.  Push back from everyone and everywhere.  It finally stuck and it's the biggest relief and such a big win for having my own back.  It wasn't a situation that is healthy for me and I didn't need to spend a week seeing this person.  People said "just get it over with."  Here's the thing -- I don't need to get over what I DON'T NEED TO DO.  Where is it written that I had to visit??  NOWHERE!  I did it calmly and nicely, but firmly.  Feels good.  I need to do this more.

Here's a picture.  If you drink kombucha, it's a PSA -- strain your kombucha.  I know what you're thinking -- but that's the "healthy" part.  It's all yours.  That has fooled me too many times and I always strain -- no exceptions -- even when it "looks" fine in the bottle.  I have picture proof.  If this is morning, you might want to wait to view --gag, it's gross -- you've been warned :)

The ginger flavor is the worst offender.

Hair day is here.  This round I need it -- my hair is extra dry.  I think it's because I've been partially drying it in front of a box fan instead of the hair drier.  Keeps me cooler -- just wait until menopause ... I'm already overly hot all the time. Unfortunately, I think that dried me out.  I'm asking about it today.  There goes my great idea.  Good book reading time today -- can't wait.

I booked in some fun calendar stuff too.  That keeps me happy.  Massage tomorrow.  A couple of Lift Yoga Studio classes next week.  I bought a 10 pass ticket and then they cancelled the class I liked.  New schedule and a couple I'm interested to try.  Glad I checked -- they expire next month.  More on that next week.

Time to run.  Have a great hump day.  Later gators.

Was it Really Monday?

I am so stinking confused about the day of the week.

Yesterday DID NOT feel like a Monday -- to any of the 4 of us on our city adventure and we kept messing it up.  Why is there traffic (rush hour - duh)?  Valet only parking on weekend -- we waited and waited until we realized it was Monday.  No happy hour -- that's strange.  Place closed -- why?  Men in suits -- who goes out in a suit on the weekend?

We high-5ed at how cool we were in the cool section of downtown on a MONDAY (after doing our old person library tour).  Then we needed instructions on how to eat the table bread, needed the "bench-thing" traded for regular chairs at our table, had to leave the cool beer bar because we didn't actually like the beer.

Old can't hide.  It was lurking all the time.

The Carter Library was as interesting as you think it is -- which is not very, but it's nicely done and relatively small.  Jimmy Carter is a fascinating man -- his life story was very inspiring, but after about an hour, I was finished.

Oval Office and hubby

Now for Tuesday -- pouring rain all morning, nothing on the calendar.  It's a grocery shopping, chore doing day.  Both are needed (rain and food in the refrigerator!!).

Since I haven't talked about my food/eating in 5 minutes -- let's chat.  I had a simple thought yesterday and it won't leave me.  If I eat well, EVERYTHING else is better.

Aches and pains -- so many lately.
Energy.
Pants fit.
Sleep better.
Mood better.
Workouts better.
Productivity better (different than energy -- more like apathetic vs curious)

It is that simple and yet it's so HARD.  I need to go back to eating regular dinners again.  I've slipped into the habit of a snacking dinner and that doesn't serve me at all.  Funny enough, I have a tough time eating this way in the summer.  Cooler weather helps a lot (probably why I had this thought yesterday).

Nighttime structure is a super power that fixes so much if I can tap into it a little tiny bit.

I'm doing some actual cooking this week.  Real dinners cooked in real time eaten at a real table.  If only this cool weather would stay -- today is the last day.

I need to keep reminding myself it's Tuesday.  Hair day tomorrow -- can't miss that :)

Later gators.

Jimmy Carter Library

A stocking stuffer gift for hubby was a promise to go the Carter Library in Atlanta.  He loves that kind of nerdy (boring) adventures and wanted "doing" gifts for Christmas.

It's taken a long time to plan a day -- we're going with friends so woo hoo -- lots less boring.  Don't get me wrong, I like history, but I don't need to read every single plaque on every single display.

We live in museum (library) opposite worlds.  I read quickly, look quickly, move through the displays.  Hubby is usually rooms behind me reading every word.  It's ironic since he rarely reads anything.  You'd think he'd love a history book -- nope.  And, also odd since I enjoy reading.

Friends along for the ride will help balance us out.

PJ and I slept in the big bed last night and everyone did great.  We need to solidify housebreaking (about 60% there) and get his flea bites feeling better and we should be in good order.  He HATES being outside so there's that too, but less important -- he's a house dog right now :)

Getting up early is not a great option this week with new foster duty.  I get up and spend all the time tending to dogs in shifts.  One gets "finished" in time for the next to hear me and get up.  Repeat this 3 times and there goes my morning.  I'm up, but not doing anything for myself.  I'll need another plan for some of my morning routine until PJ acclimates.

I read 1.5 of the 2 books on narcissism -- both short and easy reads.  It's been helpful since this family member is in full narcissist bloom with me.  Helpful, but still hard.  There is no easy solution and no "fix" for the relationship.  It's taken a lifetime to realize it.  Thankfully, I have a sister and aunt who have lived this too -- we all support each other when we find ourselves in the crosshairs.

Short and sweet today since I didn't get my early time.  Looking forward to today -- dog free afternoon (I need a break), overcast day and afternoon with friends.  We're grabbing an early dinner downtown -- fun Monday.  None of us work right now, so Monday can be fun - hah.  Later gators.

Good Morning

Did you hear about the lightening strike at the PGA Championship yesterday?  My peeps walked that route to leave 5 minutes before when they suspended play.  Scary.  Thankfully, injuries are reported to be non-life threatening and hopefully not serious too.

Morning weather.

It was the right decision for me to stay home yesterday.  The weather was either hot/humid or storming.  They didn't have the best year watching.  Today is a perfect day -- bad luck on Saturday tickets.

PJ is adjusting.  He's a sweet fellow.  We're going to try to be in the big bed tonight.  He'll to be crated a little bit today and a lot tomorrow.  Fingers crossed -- he howls :)

Trying to get along -- with me in the middle.

Nap time.

I'm ditching my latest read -- Lillian Boxfish Takes a Walk (Kathleen Rooney).  It's not doing it for me.  I'm about 1/3 of the way and am bored silly.  It's blocking the reading works because I'm not interested in reading at all.  I'm going to pull from my bookshelves to see what's sitting unread.  I have a few.  I'm also starting a couple of books about borderline personality as a close family member is giving me some grief -- it's been a lifetime of trying to handle having her in my life.  My coach recommended the read as we both have unfortunate experience with those personalities.

Today's weather is not disappointing.  It's cool, overcast and in the 70s for a high.  This is forecasted to stick around for 3 glorious days.  Fantastic!  I'm heading out for a long dog walk and then some workout -- maybe arms days.

In my world of food choices, I'm sucking.  Nothing else to report.  I think I have it under control today and this week should be a good one.  I have no words - ugh.

Time to get moving after my slug day yesterday.  Hubby is golfing.  It's me and 3 dogs for the day.  Have a great one -- later gators.

Pictures, PJ and Me

PJ is in the house (!!)  Poor little man -- he's been through all sorts of stuff.  The most pressing now is the flea bites that are giving him a devil of an itch.  We tried a crate for bedtime and failed -- 2 hours of crying = spare room bed with me.  He's a "little" house trained and still has loose poops so I was worried about accidents.  He and Duke are still working out a relationship -- some growls and such.  Hopefully, one more night in the other bed and we can all sleep together.

Nervous little man.

First night.

I stayed home from the golf event today and I'm bummed.  PJ can't be left alone that long and is too skittish for a teenager to  watch.  I'm a little under-the-weather with cold symptoms and 9 hours walking in the heat and humidity was too much.

It's going to be a lazy day for me and the dogs.  Books, dog walks and Netflix.

Tomorrow is expected to be a HUGE drop in temperature.  It better not be FAKE NEWS - hah.  I'm COUNTING on this immense pleasure!

Happy Saturday :)  Later gators.

Trying to Hold On

My "freedom" food choices have run amuck.

Entertaining makes good choices hard.  Out to dinner is fine -- one meal, no left-overs -- done.  Entertaining means leftovers (and "pre-tasting") -- and you bet they aren't the healthy kind.

Wine (2 half opened bottles), cheese, cake, pie, cool whip (don't judge!!) and bacon.  All sitting pretty in my refrigerator.  I can't throw it out because hubby wants it too.

I feel bloated and gross today.  We were up until after 11 o'clock (that's practically an all nighter for me).  I need a clean eat day today and a hard, sweaty workout.

Both feel daunting when I'm sitting with a food coma and weekend jet lag.  (P.S. Heard that term for when you stay up much later than normal on the weekends and it's like you flew to the opposite coast - yep it feels like that.)

That said -- dinner was fun, company was great, food was delicious (if I do say so myself).  We need to extend ourselves more and get back to entertaining.

On a side note ...
I'm making an effort to use my STUFF for entertaining (and everyday).  If I own it, I should use it.  I'm a saver or a protector of my nicer things.  Nope -- using it.  Wine glasses from my parent's wedding, good pottery for the salsa, new placemats and my favorite cloth napkins.  Everything survived.  I weeded out so much of my junky stuff, I almost have no choice but to use the better things.  Forced into the action I want -- there's a win.  (Why isn't eating healthy this easy??)

I slept until 7:30 and hubby is already out the door for golf.  Time to myself, but I have no energy or motivation to get going -- dang, bad timing on my part.

One thing I'm really good about (so is hubby) -- getting the house back to normal after an evening entertaining.  Everything is washed, put away, wiped down -- nothing bad to wake up to and that helps a lot when I have no inclination to move by body LOL.

I'm picking up my foster (PJ) early this afternoon.  It's a HUGE treat to have someone else do the pickup and transport closer to me.  Fingers crossed for the little guy.

Hope you have a great weekend!  Heading to PGA East Lake tomorrow -- long and hot day.  Another reason to get my crap in order today.  I'll need all the energy I can muster between the outing and a new foster.  Later gators.

Thursday Updates

Looks like our foster is coming to us tomorrow, not today, AND someone is transporting for us -- what?!?  That's never happened.  My only concern is having him for just a few hours before he meets the dog walker.  I need to problem solve a little before our long day out of the house on Saturday.

Good news that almost my entire dinner party dinner is finished.  This is freeing up today in a big way.  The menu is Pioneer Woman (again).  Cowboy chicken, twice baked potatoes and salad.  I made "brown" salsa and an angel food cake with peaches.  She's bringing a starter or dessert, but hasn't decided yet (last minute kind of gal).  I wanted to be prepared so I made both -- whichever she brings, we'll save ours for tomorrow.  My bet is on dessert -- that's her usual go-to.

GNI was fun.  My very good girlfriend hosted and made a fantastic dinner.  I brought Ina Garten crostini with whipped feta and tomatoes.  Huge hit and I'll make it again -- easy and no fail kind of recipe.

Crostini with Whipped Feta

We played the card game, Seven.  Easy, fun.  I'm not a big fan of playing games, but this was right up my alley.  We'll be playing with the family soon -- DIL loves games.  There's some strategy and some luck, but nothing complicated.  Perfect rainy day game.  You need at least 4 players -- only downside.

Coaching call was good again yesterday.  I decided to re-sign for one more round (so to speak).  Switching to longer calls, every other week.  It's a little like low key therapy and it feels good to talk to someone about this transition time (aka hubby home - hah).

I fight the feeling that I shouldn't need it, but I'm in a tough season right now and a little extra support and direction feels good.  I've dealt with hard times alone and that's not easy.  It's cheaper than my deductible for therapy - hah.  I also wonder if we'll have anything to work on and we always do -- guess I'm not as together as I think :)

Totally changing subjects (therapy made me think about a blog I read this week) -- I have a couple of blogs I read faithfully and comment occasionally.  All of a sudden, I can't comment -- or at least I think I can't.  My profile is gone and it only gives me the option to comment with a google account.  None of my comments show up -- on either blog.  They are nice BTW -- I'm not a troller LOL -- and I've commented before.  Could it be that I didn't "allow" cookies?  I'm so tech lame.  I guess I can google it.

TREAT today is free time.  Maybe a little reading?

TOOL is still problem solving.  Got a few things brewing that need adjustment.

Happy Thursday (that feels like a Friday to me).  Later gators.

Drum Roll ...

Up at 5 o'clock.

As usual, it's HARD.  I wake up so naturally at 4 and then so unnaturally at 5 ... no wonder it's been yucky to get back to this wakeup time.

I'm giving it some thought (when I'm actually awake) and see if it's too early.  Or see if I want to do the early wakeup when I run outside or need to be up this early ONLY.

Today, I need to be up this early -- cleaning crew changed the schedule and we are now first thing Wednesday morning.  I need to make cleaning day a rest workout day in the future -- that will solve some of the issues this morning.

It's a FULL day.  Grocery shopping while the cleaning crew is here.  Coaching call late morning.  Cooking all day in preparation for tomorrow and an appetizer for GNI tonight.  Bummer to cook in a perfectly clean kitchen -- I'm cooking slob.  I clean up, but the process ain't pretty!

The better part of tomorrow will be picking up our foster dog.  Need to get ready for friends over for dinner so I have a lot to do today.

I listened to the podcasts on boundaries (coaching homework).  Easier said than done in a lot of situations.  Life is a messy process.  I'm trying.  Still no final decision on continuing coaching.  Taking a page from Jen Hatmaker -- if it's not a hell-yes, then it's a no.  That's the probable decision.

Remember the busybody who volunteered me to give insulin shots to a cat for a week?  That neighbor found another solution -- she texted that it was too big of a favor to ask.  I also think she was noticed that I was put on the spot.  Nice, normal neighbor.  Awesome.  She honored a boundary when I didn't.

I need to get moving -- catching a workout AND a shower before the cleaning crew is going to be tight.  Oh, such problems.

TREAT today is the afternoon to myself cooking ... hubby is golfing.  It's going to be quiet and I'll happily take that before the GNI group.

TOOL is problem solving -- again today.  Lots to juggle, but it can come together with a little creativity.

Later gators.

A Fun List

I'm thinking about writing a FUN LIST.

As though I don't have enough lists.

Fun things that I want to do.  Not exactly a bucket list -- that's bigger stuff.  Simple, little things.

I got to thinking about it because I've never had anything Pumpkin Spice (except pumpkin bread and pie).  I've never had a PSL for example.  It's making news because it's almost back in season.  With non-dairy options at Starbucks, this CAN happen -- should I choose to join the trend.

I've never tried caviar.

I've never had a hair extension.

I've never had a spray tan.

Things like this -- little, simple, fun.  It's fun to think about the list and fun to think about fulfilling something on the list.

It's a little like My Happiness Project, but only fun things.  This could be my list of 50 leading up to my 50th birthday.  Hmmmm ... I'm going to think over this some more.

__________________________________________________________________________

In other news ...

I got new sunglasses (!!)

Since my prescription changed so much, it was recommended I keep one pair of glasses in the old prescription until I get used to the new (and make sure it's correct).  I only have one pair -- so, ta-da -- new glasses.  Not expensive frames, but I love them (and insurance pays for all but $50).  Pictures when I pick them up.

I have this funny problem -- I LOVE every pair of sunglasses on me.  I have to get a second opinion to confirm because I'll buy anything.  The ones I got are basic, but with a modern shape.  Approved by 3 other people.

I have an unexpected free calendar day.  Foster pup is scheduled for pickup on Thursday (as of now).  I can use this day to get set for stuff this week.  Thursday is the worst day for pickup since we have company and will have a brand new, sick, scared foster dog.  I have some problem solving to do this week.

And, I didn't get up at 5 o'clock, I got up at 6 o'clock.  I ran on the treadmill yesterday so an outside run was off the table.  With nothing scheduled for today, no need to get up that early.  Probably a tabata-style workout this morning.

The yoga studio I used for weightlifting way back when and recently bought a package of 10 classes to go to a now cancelled yoga/meditation class was sold.  Class packages transferred though.  They announced the new class lineup and 2 are interesting -- circuit training on Tuesday mornings and a very funky meditation class midday Wednesday.  I'm scheduling to try both.

I need to finish my coaching homework.  I have 3 podcasts about boundaries and relationships.  How to say 'no' sans the guilt and bitchiness.  Or say 'yes' without resentment.  All are Brooke Castillo.  I thought I was picking up a foster -- car podcast time galore, but no go on that today so I'll need to find some alone time to listen.

Why boundaries?  This is a prickly trigger for me.  I get caught up in boundary loops and attached ugly feelings.  Then I want to eat those feelings.  I'm back in a strange boundary season again.  Hubby home all day.  New neighbors = new favors.  Big needs in a small dog rescue.  Kids in big change season needing help.  All the things.  Some I gladly say 'yes' to (kids), but I need to manage the other areas better.

TREAT today is a free calendar day to get ahead on some of the week's chores.

TOOL is problem solving.  I'll need this all week.

Later gators.

Oooops ...

I forgot to set my alarm.  I woke up a little before 4 o'clock and then again at 7 o'clock.  Outside run rescheduled for tomorrow - hah.

Oh well.

It's still Monday -- just 2 hours later than I thought.

I finished Recursion -- it was okay.  The end was better than the middle, but maybe not enough to waste on the read.  It would make a fun plane or beach read though.  Interestingly, the dedication in the back shows that he names his characters after real people.  He named one after the author of A Gentleman in Moscow (one of his favorite books).  I noticed the similarity in names (I actually checked but it wasn't exactly the same), but it never occurred to me that there was a connection.  It's an incredible book.

New book pick today -- exciting.  I have a couple ready in kindle so I'll choose from them.  I can't remember anything about either.  Yep, again.



We're heading to the city today to get prescriptions in sunglasses.  I hope I don't have to drop off --sometimes they can do it while you wait.  Hubby's are ready (it's a backup pair, so no problem for him -- I only have one pair).  Maybe I should get a second pair?!  Now there's an idea.

This afternoon is a Costco run.  Refrigerator is empty and we are having friends over this week.  I also need to make a dish for GNI group.

Waiting on our foster dog pickup.  He's feeling better, but hasn't been neutered yet.  It's likely tomorrow so another day of driving.  This week has a big driving theme.

TREAT today is TBD.  Maybe a new pair of sunglasses.  Maybe a coffee.  Both sound equally nice (that's how much I love my coffee).

TOOL is ACTION.  Lots to do next couple of days -- chore wise.  Need to keep moving -- future self will thank me for getting it finished before Wednesday.

Later gators.

Gearing Up for Monday and Pictures

Gearing up in a good way.

I'm starting back to 5 o'clock wake-ups and a couple of early outdoor runs before the sun.

It's also a BUSY week -- one like I haven't had in a long time.  Busy socially and (I don't know what to call it) other-crap-I-have-to-do.  What it means is I need to be on my game.  Sleep, eat, wake up.  All the things to have a productive and fun week.

This week is my last coaching call and I need to decide to continue or not.  It's a tough decision.  I'll talk to Holly and get some insight.  She's not going to "hard sell" her time.  If she has a smaller package, I'm up for a few more weeks.  If it's the only the full package, I'll pass.

The lake was fun -- no odd outfit picture because I toned it down.  Just the swim shirt, regular bottoms and a baseball cap.  I kept the crazy at bay.  P.S. There was a gal who couldn't find her suit and she swam in her dress.  Guess I fit in after all.

Here are a few pictures.  My selfie game needs to TURN UP -- I have all the power and yet I keep taking a horrible selfie (probably because I can't see without my glasses).  The lake looks green, but when you're in it, it's clear.  It's been tested for the algae that's causing issues in the area, but it's fine.  Rumor has it, it's reflection from the trees -- seems odd since I've never seen it green.

I floated lots too.
Lake was the potty - so there's that.
EVERYONE got in - hah.

Hubby on the left.

See what I mean?

Hostess on the left.  Fun set up with the boats.

We missed the Farmers Market in lieu of helping the kids -- delivered a chair and food to the new apartment.  I miss the tomatoes, but it was a nice morning.  Back for more today.  TV moving and helping them settle the kitchen.

Here are my 4 legged boys begging as they do.  Later gators.

LOVE!!!

Happy Saturday

Change of plans - again.  Probably ditching the Farmers Market ... it's HOT already and we're going to be outside most of the day.  We might decide for a quick run to get tomatoes (me) and pastries (hubby).  He's still sleeping so we need to figure it out.

Yesterday was fun with my DIL and grand-doggies ... but tiring.  Their new apartment is nice and totally "young, urban" style living.  Happy for them.

Instead of a coffee treat, I bought a juice from one of those fancy juice places in the city (it's right next to their building entrance).  Spinach, pineapple, cucumber and water -- nothing else.  I was excited and thought I found "my thing" when I visit them.  A SMALL plastic cup -- $10.  OMG.  I didn't even look at the price.  Sticker shock.  It's NOT my new thing.  In fact, it's my first and LAST one ever.

In the name of NOT hibernating, I was searching for some fun things to add to the calendar and I found something FANTASTIC!  A local winery has a harvest day in late September (or early October) -- volunteer all morning and then a vineyard lunch.  They'll train you.  I'm signed up with my aunt and I put feelers out to friends if they're interested.  I didn't care if anyone was interested -- that's the kind of thing I'll happily do by myself.  It's up to Mother Nature to set the actual harvest day so you get notified last minute -- fingers crossed I can go (and my back/neck is okay).

Foster pup is sick -- the group of the 3 dogs is all bleeding and anemic.  Probably rat poison.  They are being treated and held.  Maybe getting him on Tuesday.  Poor babies.

Recursion -- Blake Crouch is kind of wacky.  It needs to come together or it's getting a thumbs down from me.  It's essentially a time-warp-travel book and there are so many "recursions" that it's confusing -- all in the name of plot conveniences.  I hope it's heading to an interesting ending.  I'll finish it (easy reading) and I'm over halfway.  Stay tuned ...

TREAT today is lake swimming with rescue peeps.

TOOL is acting confident and social.  I can get shy in some social situations -- most everyone is young, string bikini thin, perfectly tan and already good friends.  It's easy to feel like an odd man out.  Maybe I'll ask hubby to get a picture of me and my "bathing suit -- lake attire" --- it's a LOOK hah.

Later gators.

Simplicity and Podcast Learning

It probably obvious to the outside world, I'm overthinking, over-complicating, over-confusing my goal for eating and maintaining my weight.

I'm taking a page from Brooke Castillo and podcast #206 (my homework!!) and making a damn decision.  Worth the quick listen BTW.

She gives a list of questions to ask yourself -- oh, they are GOOD.

Here are some of the questions.  As usual, Brooke says it best (podcast #206).

What would you choose if both choices were a TOTAL success?
What choice is based in love?
Can you have both options -- i.e. do you really NEED to choose?
What would you choose if there were no HISTORY BIAS?
What if failure is no big deal for this goal?
10 years from now what would your future self choose and why?

I talked to Holly at the beginning of coaching about my GOAL possibly being wrong and feeling confused -- what SHOUD I be fighting/working toward.  I was right.  My goal IS wrong.  I don't want the restricted, perfect eating.  That's not fun -- not the way I want to live my life.

NO FOOD is off the table anymore -- it's all my choice.

I can trust my instincts.

I want to feel well, so my choices will reflect it.

I won't eat in a negative emotional state.

Can it be this simple?  Can I make that work when I'm feeling down and out?  That's something I need to work on believing.

For now, I'm setting an experiment -- living by holding on less tightly.  I'm also believing that it MIGHT be possible.  That's a belief I can believe NOW.  Searching my history, I CAN support that as a viable option (just as easily as I can support restriction).  But, if I ask which I want more if either can succeed, well, duh, bring on the freedom.

Here's the deal for me.  Don't overthink about food.  Period.  Simple.  You know there will be lots more on this as I try this experiment.  Fingers crossed ...

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In other podcast news ... Oprah's Super Soul Conversations: Paster John Gray -- The Bridge (July 15)

Remember how I was upset about bookclub and the hateful rhetoric?  THIS podcast is all about that.  It's helped calm me down.  It's amazing and laugh-out-loud funny.  I've listened to it several times.  This is a man you wish you knew personally.  YouTube and I have a date to watch him in action.

UPDATE:  google search revealed some YouTube sermons AND an "emotional cheating" scandal --- ut-oh.  Not perfect, but I'm still checking out his sermons.

That said, I'm over bookclub.  I want a fun, relaxing evening about a good book.  I don't want to talk politics -- on either side.  It gets me fired up and I don't want that energy.  Another bookclub bites the dust.  Good news is I'll still see what books they read and that's a big part of enjoying it -- new book ideas.

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The "wellness" fair was a total bust BUT dinner was fun and we stayed for a couple of hours.  The fair was from 6-9 -- we got there at 8:30 and everyone had left but one vender who was packing up.  Oh well, I don't think we missed much and my wallet is fuller for it.

Dinner was enlightening.  Turns out, my feelings about bookclub and the "mayor" of our neighborhood is felt by quite a few (including my neighbor).  Doesn't fix the issue, but I feel better.  I thought I was alone in that thinking.

Today is the start of moving day for my eldest and DIL.  I'm taking a couple of car loads over and helping with the dogs (of course).  We are helping again on Sunday (moving TVs and pictures).

My great idea of taking a sandwich sub tray to tomorrow's party is a bust.  She said she was providing grill items and asked people to supplement -- most are bringing side dishes.  I messaged for a head count in case I needed to bring two platters -- she changed her mind and is doing sub trays (great minds).  She suggested a veggie platter?!?!?  NO ONE eats the veggie platter at things like this so I ordered a fruit platter.  It's a little more $$ having it made, but it saves me the work and that was the point.  I'm keeping the sub platter to take to moving day for the kids.  Problem solved.

Today is a rest workout day -- good since lots of stair climbing ahead.

TREAT is probably a cold brew coffee.  It sounds good as a treat after moving in this hot, hot, hot weather.

TOOL is being PRESENT.

Happy Friday -- later gators.

Giving Tree

I almost couldn't get into this account this morning -- instant panic when it asked me to log in.  Thank goodness for "saved" passwords.

Youngest came over last night to print his resume (he has 2 prospects brewing - fingers crossed).  He used my computer (logged me out of this account for some reason) and ate the food I made for today.

Giving tree -- it's a given when you're a mama or a woman.  It was good to see him back to his positive self and moving forward though -- that was worth my chicken for today.

I'll take a page from that attitude and focus on some positive.

Coaching call was a lot of talk about how the universe gives you lots of practice to work on your crap lessons.  I'm feeling that HARD this week.  Universe meets you at your vibration level -- yep.

Solution is to plug along and take the lessons.

I'm fighting the urge to hibernate because life (and people) are on my last nerve.  It's a perception, not a reality, so I'm moving forward.  Adding fun, doing things, smiling, focusing on positives.

Tonight my neighbor and I are heading to an outdoor wellness fair in the Farmers Market town.  I fought the urge to cancel because it's HOT and she cancels on me regularly -- didn't care if I did it back at her.  But I'm not.  And I will have fun (while sweating my ass off).

We're going to a Releash rescue party at the lake this Saturday.  Also thought about canceling.  I don't feel like being social, kids are moving -- perfect excuse.  But I didn't.  And I will have fun.  We are going to the Farmers Market ahead of the lake because we can and we should and we can do more than one thing a day.  I also made it easy for me and ordered a sub party tray -- no cooking, no prep, just a store pick-up.

I invited old neighbors (friends) over for dinner and it looked like the dates weren't going to coordinate which would push the dinner a month away.  I knew there was a solution, but I almost didn't suggest it.  I did.  A Thursday night.  None of us have traditional jobs (or any job - hah) so weekdays are fine (I don't think they know hubby's situation totally).  Easy drinks and something on the grill.  I need to get back to socializing.

Unity service is a maybe for Sunday.  We committed to help the kids move all day.  Once we figure out a time I'll see if I can do both.

A fall goodie came yesterday.  Cents of Style had a 40% off sale and this sweater looked nice.  I purged so many old, old sweaters before we moved.  You don't get to wear sweaters often in GA so I had lots to say goodbye to -- button downs are a good fit for the south.  On and off with no problem -- almost like a jacket.  It's a pale pink.




I didn't get up a 5 o'clock this morning -- slept until 7.  Youngest was over and I got to bed a little later than I planned.  Since I'm going out tonight, I decided to go back to sleep.  Next week I'm back to the early wakeup (probably this weekend too).

TREAT today is getting out tonight.  Doing something.  Smiling.  Having fun.  Losing my shitty attitude.

TOOL is remembering to look for the HAPPY.  I'm noticing the crap in neon lights and closing my eyes to all the good stuff.  Why??  Good lord, I have no idea.

HAPPY Thursday (!!)  Later gators.

Grumpy AGAIN

I'm trying so dang hard to get my crap together and here I am feeling mad at the world this week.

My time alone didn't fill my tanks, it gave me a taste of everything I want -- time alone!!

This might be monthly related -- the last 4 times have been rough.

This is also my first week off Whole30 and I'm trying to figure out what that looks like (since I didn't hit my pants goal -- somethings fit better, but not THE PANTS).  I want to more forward, but I don't want W30 still.

When I'm working on something, I like having space to figure it out.  I have NO space this week.

Coaching call this morning (not in my office because hubby needs it for an interview call).  I'll be "hiding" around the house trying not to be heard.  This is one of those grumpy things -- I need 30 minutes and a little privacy and it's hard to find.  We get lousy reception in a lot of the house -- so my choices are limited.  He'll be finishing his call and heading out to drop his car to be fixed -- just as I'm on my call.

Hopefully, this is my last day of the hormonal grumps.  BTW -- hormonal grumps are REAL things, but real things that get amplified.

I'll turn this grumpiness around by tomorrow.  I don't like reading back Debbie downer post after post.  I have some podcast stuff and probably new coaching news.

TREAT today is coaching call (hopefully in PRIVATE).

TOOL is gratitude since I seem to be caught up in ungrateful.

Later gators.

Whole30 FINISHED!

I've been a little MIA ... under-the-weather and another EARLY monthly visit.  I was a sofa slug and let myself do very little while feeling yucky.

That's a luxury I don't often have -- or don't often take and it felt good.

I'm back to feeling reasonable today and life continues with tons of dog stuff this week.  Vet visits (one sick dog, one dog physical) and 2 days of grooming appointments PLUS 4 days of dog walking the grand-doggies AND a foster dog pick-up.  Lots and lots of dogs adventures.

The last two days, I've let myself sleep-in too.  I didn't sleep well and 5 o'clock seemed unnecessary.  Tomorrow I'm back to the early mornings.

I started Rules of Civility -- Amor Towles (author of Gentlemen in Moscow).  It's completely different writing style and I don't like it.  I gave it 25% read and am giving up on it.  Maybe it gets better or gets to some point eventually, but not worth my time.

Melissa Urban's recommendation instead.  It's a medical sci-fi about people inflicted with false memories.  Interesting so far ...



I spent my sofa days watching reruns of Law and Order and rewatched some movies playing on HBO.  Nothing new or terribly exciting.  I forgot how much I love Lenny from Law and Order.  He was fantastic.

I have a few podcast episodes to recommend and I'll get to that this week.

This has been the hottest week of the summer so far -- I can't be the only one dreaming of fall.  This is when I really, really, really wish I lived up north.

Some fun social stuff later in the week -- nice to enjoy without W30 in the background.  More on that later.  I got up late this morning and I need to workout before a vet visit.  Best get at it ...

Happy Tuesday :)

Too Many Cherries

I bought on-sale cherries yesterday because I thought, why not -- Day 27 of W30 and I've been off fruit.  Cherries are finished soon and a sale is a sale (cherries are so expensive).

They were perfect, hit the spot.  *TMI Alert*

Then, not perfect.  Many bathroom trips later, it settled down to mega-bloat.  I guess a bowl of fruit was a shock to my Whole30 system.

Still a problem this morning.

Farmers Market with a friend this morning and she INSISTED on riding together.  Ut-oh.  Hope this is over by the drive together or I'm going to be in bloated pain all morning!  *TMI Over*

I'm also heading to dinner with my eldest and DIL to trial the last rehearsal dinner restaurant.  It's a popular place so only a 5:15 reservation available -- great for an old lady who's driving herself.

Dance card is full today (totally empty tomorrow though).

Youngest called last night and is feeling better.  His plan is in motion and the anxiety has settled down.  The new location isn't as bad as he thought and he feels he can stick it out until a new job.  Phew.  Hope he continues to feel better.  Anxiety sucks and mamas worry no matter how old the cub.

I have some podcast goodies, but that can wait until tomorrow and my TOTALLY FREE day.

Happy Saturday!  Later gators.

Urge List FINISHED!!!!

Remember the Urge List?

#100 times of ALLOWING an urge rather than resisting the urge (or giving into it).  Brooke Castillo.

Fill the list and urges (aka cravings, desire, etc) will be significantly less or completely gone.

I finished the list because it's on my 19 for 19 list (Gretchen Rubin).  Hard to follow along with all my lists - hah.

It didn't work.

I think that's partially my fault.  I don't know that I ALLOWED every urge on the list and didn't do some resisting (aka white knuckling through the craving).  It's a hard distinction.

I also took FOREVER to finish it.  Brooke says it doesn't need to be consecutive and I took that message to the extreme.

That said, it helped a little.  I have the witching hours and the usual urges -- same time, same place everyday.  I'm learning to expect it, notice it and ignore it.  I don't think it's less of an urge, but I'm less reactive to it, sometimes.  Progress.  Slow progress.

I'll continue to work this idea.  An urge is a vibration that doesn't need an action -- it CAN be ignored.  I'm not keeping a list anymore -- that part didn't help me -- maybe even the opposite.  I probably added to the list when I shouldn't have (resisted, not allowed) in the name of filling the damn list.

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I had an interesting day yesterday.

I ran on the treadmill for some basic intervals and felt strange.  So much so, I modified and ended early.  My heart rate was faster than normal for those intervals and I was significantly out of breath.  I felt odd all day.  Kind of out of breath, kind of dizzy.  Standing wasn't good.  Maybe I have a bug -- headache is gone now, but it lingered for 2 days.

I feel better this morning, but my workout is going to be light arms.  Keeping to basics.

Even feeling strange, I had a (mostly) good day.

The long drive to lunch was totally worth it.  Cute town, fun conversation (3 hours) and good food.  Also hit up some vintage Brooke Castillo podcasts.  This was the good part of the day.

Then, not so good.

I'm proud to say I stayed up for book club, but it was a total bust.  Boring book discussion and then political talk -- I could barely stand to be in the room.  Ugh.  The South.  It sucks sometimes.  I'm not sure about the future of me in the book club.  It was that awful -- the hateful comments were that strong.

AND ... I walked in the door to a neighbor volunteering me to give insulin shots to another neighbor's cat twice a day for a week.  Really??  Come on.  She said it was because I'm a nurse.  Mind your business is what I say.  And you know this means EVERY TIME she goes out of town, I'm stuck doing the cats (there are 3 -- one needs shots, but you know I'm feeding, changing liter, etc).  I don't mind being neighborly, but that feels like a big ask when there are other options.  I'm glad to help in a pinch, but this isn't a pinch.  It was presumptive of everyone and extra fun to be ambushed AT THE FRONT DOOR.

Maybe I need to go to the Unity service after all -- basic kindness, inclusion and UNITY.  Those are the people I want in my life.  People I NEED in my life to counter the hateful, white privilege that lives in this area.  I want to rant about the stupidity of what the ladies said ... but I don't want to give more energy to it.

Today is brunch with a friend and that's it.  Rest of the day is all mine and I might want to do some sofa surfing.  Hibernation is STRONG.  I have a few errands after brunch and then HOME!

I didn't sleep well last night and an early bed routine with a book, hot tea and dogs sounds good.

Later gators.

Pictures and Updates

First, some pictures of house goodies ...

Here's the new cushion for the back bench.  I got it from Etsy and it's exactly what I wanted -- price was the best of 3 quotes and it was fast.  It's a company in NC and they did a great job from start to finish.  Dog pillow is from Target.  I ordered some blue/white striped pillows, but they don't work.  I need to find a couple darker color and bigger pillows to add.

Target -- how cute.
Looks like Parker.
They had a yorkie too, but it was a lady.

Working on the back deck.  Hubby's idea to get a large carpet for the sitting area.  Also Target.  I ordered a matching one for the door area.  Full sun in the afternoon -- not cool, but no way to block that angle.  It's the only time the chairs are in the sun so we'll live with it.  I needed a blue muted enough to go with the house, but bright enough to stand with the chairs.  It's a little hard to see in the lighting, but the color works perfectly.

My sun-loving little GA dog!!
I tell him this is the reason I know he's adopted.
Even in the high heat, little man loves sunning himself.

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My youngest called off work yesterday and came over for the day.  It was a productive day and I think he's off to the start he needed.  Sometimes you need someone to help you with the process when it feels overwhelming.  He applied for 7 jobs, has a list of more, called career center at school, made a plan.  He got pampered with dinner and brownies and left-overs for tonight.

Hubby left this morning for his golf trip.

I get up at 5 o'clock to have quiet time -- while he's gone, I don't need to get up that early and now I don't know what to do with myself - hah.  I'll still get up early, but probably closer to 6 o'clock.

Coaching call went well yesterday.  Holly had a lot of questions for me and by the end of the call, we identified an area that might be THE problem.

Decision fatigue.  I head talk to myself all day about what I should allow or not.  That's why the extremes work well.  No head talk.  I am either allow it ALL or allowing NOTHING, but it quiets my constant negotiations.  (P.S. I even do this with non-food stuff.)

We are going to work on a DECISION.  Making a decision means quieting the negotiations.  I don't want to eat perfectly.  I want desserts back.  I want to lessen restrictions, BUT I don't want it to get out of control.

Sometimes, I want wine and cheese for dinner.  Not copious amounts, but I want that unbalanced dinner.  I tell myself NO, it's an unhealthy choice, will set off binge eating, etc. and I fight that all day and evening.  Sometimes I white knuckle and win ... sometimes I eat the pantry before I give in and have wine and cheese (and usually a lot of it because "this is the last time.").

Holly thinks it's doable and when I stop this habit, a lot of the issues will fall away.  I'm up for trying it -- I have homework to work on it and I'll share when I know more :)

Today is the busiest day of my hubby-less-vacation.  I need to walk my grand-dogs 40 minutes away and then drive to lunch with my high school friend.  We always long lunch and chat and then an extra long trip home.  I have book club at 7 o'clock.  Full day.

I know it'll be fun, but I'm not jumping for joy.  I'm fighting the desire to hibernate today.  Not sure why when I was bored silly the last couple of weeks.

This week has been a heavy FEELINGS week.  I'm going with it and trying not to overthink the why. I still have a headache which is super unusual for me (outside of monthly issues).  Advil is keeping it at bay though, but it's adding to my mood.

TREAT today is lots of human interaction (maybe a little too much - hah).

TOOL is relaxing my mind between people chats -- headache makes me want some silence and I'll try to find that space on the long drives.

Later gators.

Life is Messy

Goodness.

Lots of things turned yesterday.

Youngest asked to come over after work (never a good sign).  He's having horrible anxiety and is burned out from work.  Can't blame him -- he works five 12 hour days and every other Saturday OUTSIDE.  He's miserable.  Helping him find plan B and C and D.   When your kid hurts, you hurt.  It's hard to watch them go through life when it's tough.

Walk though the woods turned out to be a hike UP (over 3 miles) and, while shaded, it was HOT.  Zapped everything I had (I know where my son gets his heat sensitivity) and left me with a headache that's still going.  I had a great time, but what was I thinking??

Last minute late dinner plans left me up late so I made the decision last night to sleep in this morning and take a rest day.  My body hurts, my head hurts.

I looked up the Unity service for Sunday and it's a birthday celebration for it's oldest member (99 years old).  That's nice, but not worth the effort to go.  Party pooper -- but I can't see myself getting anything out of it.  I see it being a slide show of his life and a speech by a very old man.

The Farmers Market is located in a town where there's been police activity this week -- SWAT, helicopters, notice to stay inside and lock doors.  Apparently there's a dangerous man holding up in the area.  I don't have all the details, but if it's not resolved -- no FM for me this weekend either.

Lunch on Thursday is with my high school friend and suddenly we're meeting over an hour away from me.  Dang.  More driving.  Lunch will be fun though -- trying a new restaurant is always nice too.

Book club on Thursday evening.  I'm glad it's a short night -- last month it was over by 8:30 (starts at 7).  It's very low key with food and drink so I won't have a hard time with that aspect.  I'm going to be forcing myself to go though.  PJs will be calling me loud and strong!

I need to hold my crap together this week.  Potential to spiral out of control -- high probability.  I can't let that happen.

TREAT today is my coaching call.  Maybe that will give me some perspective.

TOOL is twofold.  Rest AND hold steady.  Take a breath.  All will figure itself out.  Life doesn't go to crap because weekend plans change.  My youngest has a lot to work out, but we're here to help him and it will also figure itself out.  (Still, that's a heavy worry this morning -- always a mom first.)

Later gators.

Tuesday Updates

Good morning.

I problem solved -- best tool I forget to use!

Today was an empty day (after my neighbor cancelled) so I messaged my aunt and we are hiking (aka nature walking) around Kennesaw Mountain (about 10 minutes from her house).  I told her I had a friend cancel, but still wanted to go walking.  Perfect!  I haven't actually gone UP the mountain because it's usually too hot with dogs for the climb.  Someday.

I also wasn't totally joking about needing more friends, but I realized I have friends who I'm not reaching out to regularly.  Lunch on Thursday with my high school friend who lives locally (near my aunt, actually).  We see each other about twice a year and have a nice time catching up.  She's always up for a lunch meet up, but lets me initiate the plans.

I'm also ready to reach out to some old neighborhood friends to get them over to see the house and catch up.  Summer is over.  Whole30 is almost over.  It's time to entertain a little.

I haven't found anything for this weekend, but maybe a full week will tide me over.  I'll go to the Farmers Market and Unity service -- I won't be a total hermit.  Still thinking about options.

I finished The Dollhouse -- Fiona Davis.  It was a recommendation from another aunt.  I'd give it a thumbs down.  It read easily and was interesting enough while reading, but the ending was a total fizzle.  The characters never developed and I didn't care what happened to any of them -- and that made the ending stupid.  The good news is I get to pick a new read from the lineup.  Stay tuned ...

I went to the eye doctor and I had to jump my prescription again -- no wonder I had to toss some old readers.  I'm up in the +3 range and my distance prescription also climbed.  Blind as a bat.  Dang.

TREAT today is catching up with my aunt.  It's always a lively conversation.

TOOL is problem solving again (why not -- it's my favorite).  PB is messing up delivery of the replacement sofas.  I need to work on that and I have some other pesky things to get off my list.  I also want to problem solve this weekend a little more too.  I need human interaction -- maybe ask someone to meet at the FM?  I'll think on it.

Later gators.

Coaching Homework

This is hard.

I'm trying to find a system that allows me to treat with food, but holds a boundary so I don't easily get out of control (a glass of wine VS a bottle of wine).

I've done the homework of "noticing" -- when I hold myself too strict on small things and when I have defeating head messages.  It's surprising how often I say "I want to do X but I SHOULD do Y."  Holding accountable for a lot of things is good -- it's why we have money in the bank, raised responsible kids, have a reasonable healthy lifestyle, etc.

Yet ... I go overboard.  Then it backfires and I go too far the other direction. (Dang, all-or-nothing is sneaky.)

I noticed that with my nail appointment again (I guess the nail salon is my spirit animal - hah).  My favorite blue was back.  "I want to get a nail polish change, but I should wait because that's wasteful."  What's the harm? $7 and I have my nails trimmed and my favorite blue.  I didn't restrict it made me happy.  Oh, and it extended my pedicure, so I'm not even sure that it net costs me anything.

I also use a lot of defeating messages.  "I can't do this forever."  "I'll always want the ALL."

Sundays evenings are hard for me.  Family gathers during my witching hours and I'm stuck living each minute WANTING to join them for drinks and food (my options don't cut it).  I can't distract myself, go do something.  I'm at my own house and the temptations are super strong.  It would be fine if I were somewhere else (someone's house or out to dinner).  Then LEFTOVERS.  I send the kids with some, but hubby always wants to keep a bit home too.  All night the food "talks" to me and then it sits in the refrigerator until Monday afternoon (usually).

This morning I feel battle wary -- it was a long evening.  Dramatic, I know.  I know, but it's true.

I can get this going in a good direction today.  Full day.  Boxing workout, eye appointment, errands, Releash calls.  It will have me going until evening.  Tomorrow is empty (cancelled hike day) and a REST day.  In my current mind-state, that could be a dangerous day -- I need to plan ahead.

Whole30 is going and is almost over (one week).  I'm struggling on the motivation front this morning. Usually, I'm nicely into the flow, but this morning I can not wait for this to be over -- not a good sign.

I have a pattern of difficult Mondays.  I think it's because of Sunday night.  It's such a tough evening. I should have a break the next few weeks though.  Then football season and it's a guaranteed Sunday ALL DAY adventure.  Fun, but Mt. Everest every week (and boring football - !!).

Today's TREAT is Target run.  I'll spend some time looking and wandering.  Fun to take the time to see what's new.

My TOOL today is planning.  In this case, more like planning fun rather than planning rules.  Tuesday is looming empty and needs a little adventure.

Later gators.

P.S.  Unity service and breakfast was great.  We're trying to make it a semi-regular thing (when she's available too).  It's a nice way to start a Sunday.

Spirit and Such

Unity service this morning.  Meeting a friend for a spirit fill-up and a belly fill-up (breakfast).  Breaking my friend-less fast today.

My hike got cancelled this week.  I was going with a new neighbor and I cleared that day for the hike (headed to the lake for a 6 mile loop).  She cancelled because a delivery is coming that morning.  Not cool.  (She did offer another option, but I have an eye appointment.)  I'm annoyed because I went out of my way to make time available and she canceled on a dime.  Now I know.  She's cancelled a couple of other, smaller plans for similar reasons.  I'm disappointed.

I also tried to push some things on the calendar (all the way into the fall), but I'm having no luck finding friends available.  Maybe I need more friends - hah.  It's kind of kicked around a bit of a funky mood.

I've had similar "moods" after spells of doing nothing.  I need to figure out this weekend with hubby being gone.  Thursday and Friday I have plans, but the weekend is fully empty.  I'll probably hit the Farmers Market and Unity again in the mornings, but I need something else for the days.

Remember all my complaining about NO TIME to MYSELF??  Yet, somehow I feel lonely right now.  There's a difference between choosing time alone and being lonely.  Crazy, right?!?!

Farmers Market was a mixed success.  There was a local parade too -- nuts.  Streets closed, parking closed, fewer venders.  We made it work and had a nice time but cut it short so we didn't get stuck in the parade street closures.  I'm not a fan of a local parade - even when my kids were little.  Old lady party pooper.

Nails appointment went well.  Glad to have the SNS off for a couple of weeks.  I also got a polish change on my toes -- my favorite blue is magically back in stock.  That was unexpected.

Yesterday I got lots of practice in "allowing" my feelings.  Annoyances (parade), disappointment (hike), lonely (no one available for my calendar ideas).  Not the best emotion day, but it was a solid day otherwise.

Kids are coming for a take-out dinner tonight.  I wanted a break from a big cook.  This is a hard evening for me because everyone will be grabbing a drink and eating pizza AND butter cake from the FM yesterday.  Nothing is an option for me and that's bumming me out (I'm sensing a pattern in my mood LOL).  Since my go-to take-out restaurant closed AND the another regular option is closed on Sunday, I need to find something for me for dinner.

Apparently, I'm in full on PITTY PARTY mode.  Hopefully, this morning will fill my tanks.

TREAT today is a morning with a friend doing something peaceful.

TOOL is feeling those feelings -- lots swirling still.

Oh .... I almost forgot.  We watched Night School last night.  Comedies are hard to get right, but this was awesome.  Really, really funny and smart humor.  Well worth a fun watch.

Happy Sunday.  Later gators.

Let the fun times role ...

I can't even ... ME listening to a be-a-better-person podcast when in traffic.  Lordy, people are clever. I love a good meme (add an animal and it's even better).

I made it to Fun Saturday and Fun Week -- ta-da.  Farmers Market today ... nitro coffee, tomatoes and dog treats on the list.  Nail appointment this afternoon to give my nails a break from SNS.

Electrician was a success.  Outlet in our closet and some sort of outlet thingy in the attic hubby wanted.  Now I can iron in the closet, vacuum cord reaches and it makes so much more sense to have one.  He said our house was wired well -- which he doesn't see often, even in new construction -- good to know.

I had a "moment" yesterday.  Feeling pretty good about how the W30 is going and I decided to throw on a pair of slimmer shorts.  They fit (thankfully), but were tighter than I expected (I often have body image issues in the OTHER direction).  Well, dang.  That put me in a mood.  Nothing I could do about it but keep plugging along on the W30.  My mind went to ... it's going to be months before I can wear-my-closet.  I talked myself off the defeated ledge, but I was disappointed.  Logically, I can turn it around, but the disappointment is still there.

Treat yesterday was lunch with hubby.  We went to Crust (just from the name you know -- pizza).  Sat at the bar because it was crowded (always is).  I got a salad and watched (and smelled) everyone at the bar with their pizza, pasta, garlic knots and WINE.  Torture.  Not the best choice of a treat.

I'm having a low energy morning again.  I'm surprised because it was a rest day yesterday.  I'm sure I'll perk up once I get moving.

TREAT today is lots of things -- Farmers Market, nails.  Good morning coming my way.

TOOL is focus on that fun - be present.  I'm having some blah head talk still and I don't want it to dampen a nice day.

Later gators.

Finally Friday

Another time warped week -- days are short, week is long.  All week I dropped a day and kept thinking it was a day later.

But, it's finally Friday.

Ironically, this Friday is my least favorite day of this week and will probably be a difficult W30 day.  No workout (absolutely need a rest day), up early (been waking up consistently at 4:30), electrician at 7:30 this morning -- this is going to make for the LONGEST day.  Long, boring day = bored = want to snack.

BUT ... the friend-fast is over.  Next week I have friends again - hah.  Hike, breakfast, lunch, book club.  Also, if hubby's back is okay, I'll have a 4 day weekend to myself.  It's my last weekend of W30 and probably good that the freedom AND end of W30 wasn't the same weekend.  That might have been a swan dive into nothing good.

Speaking of W30 -- big milestone number today, Day 20.  10 more days.  (Technically 11, but whatever!!)

I decided on a fabric for the bench cushion.  I liked the lighter tan-ish color, but wasn't confident so I asked the PB "friend" who helped me order sofas, etc.  She said either, but the lighter allows better pillow color options.  Lighter it is ... so excited.  I like the lighter because it seemed less matchy-patchy.





Remember the 3 things I wanted to do while I had my bored weeks?  (1) Electrician = today.  (2) Cushion = ordered.  (3) Mirror painted = painter is on vacation until next week, but then moving forward.  (+) ME = good girl LOL.  All 3 of those things would be things I'd procrastinate FOREVER.  Glad I pushed forward.

I have a new podcast on my listen list.  Warning ... not for everyone.  She's sassy and has a filthy mouth, but it's funny.  I have to be in the mood for the shock-jock style, but she's so quick witted that when the mood strikes, it's perfect.  Her "take" on the bad words, etc is it's just a word.  I don't mind that style when it's actually funny.  Absolutely Not -- Heather K. McMahan.  I follow her on Instagram too.  She cohosted the 4th hour of The Today Show and was funny.  This is me being LESS serious.  Podcasts can JUST entertain -- don't need to "teach" every time.  She asks her guests to talk about what is an "absolutely not" in their lives/society ... for example, strange baby names and spellings was the last guest's "absolutely not."

I finished Karolina's Twins and learned it was based on a real story.  That's probably why the WW2 part of the book was so compelling.  The author asked permission to use the story in a fiction book and add some romance and mystery.

I started The Dollhouse -- Fiona Davis.  My aunt thought it was excellent so giving it a go.  It's one of those books that jumps back and forth between characters and time (present and 1950s) every chapter.  Seems like too many authors use that technique to tell a story.  It's lazy story telling to me ... and can make for annoying reading.  I'll see as it moves forward.

Today's TREAT is TBD.  But, there WILL be a treat.  This long day needs something to keep me on the strait and narrow (got the correct "strait" this time - hah).

TOOL is patience -- with the day, with my down-n-out hubby and with the contractor (!!).

Happy Weekend.  Later gators.