Lordy - life is not a straight shot.  This has been a topsy-turvy week.

Work is a no go.  Too much, too soon.
Vacation is a no go.  Family left this morning.

So here I sit.  A little sad, a little lonely, a little blah.  My go-to friends are all out of town or mega busy with end of school year, etc.   So it's me, myself and I (plus the dog) home with a very limited list of what I can do.

I feel like a failure.  Not doing well.  Starting over ... recommitting to the same thing over and over ... 2 steps forward, 3 back.  I'm sick of hearing myself.

There was a blog I read a year or so ago.  This person always claimed to make a change, saw the light, never going back and then failed ... over and over.  I stopped reading it because it annoyed me.  Stupid girl.  She wasn't really trying.  Talking the talk, but hollow words.

Probably annoyed me because it hit too close to home.  She's me.

I don't believe in giving up.  But repeating and failing over and over is just plain idiotic.  Promises to myself that hold little meaning.

I have some thinking to do.  I stopped my Tony Robbins program because of concussion.  I'm going to use some of this time home alone to start up again (if my brain is ready.)

I know a lot of what is happening now is related to my accident.  I'm very limited, brain compromised and a little depressed.  But still ...

So I'm re-grouping (again).  I'm not sure if I'll write in my blog over the next few days since I'll be working the TR program.

One blog post I want to write is a bucket list.  I don't have one spelled out.  Just loosely in my head.  I think that will be fun.

I don't like being a Debbie-Downer.  This blog was not supposed to be negative, complaining, whining journal.  It should be notes on creating a zen-like life.  Can I do it?  Lord I hope so.