Hiking Chat

I had a super hike yesterday. The weather was picture perfect with pretty views of the lake. Five people dropped at the last minute (probably forgot it was Valentine's Day). Just 3 of us -- 2 doctors and me. It made for excellent conversation. Particularly interesting because the hike leader is liberal, the other person wasn't -- both smart (or so it seems). 8.5 miles, fast, with moderate elevation climbs -- gets me closer to the bigger hikes.

I had to get a parking pass at the ranger station and found a LFL -- this book made me laugh. I also found the most adorable ranger vest for my grandson for next year.

I expect the hike this morning is rained out. Not deciding until 7am -- why wait?? It's a little annoying, but I only have a 15 minute drive. It's the closest hike to where I live now. The SAME hike opened for Monday, but I was hiking during registration and am now on the waitlist. It's a small group and he has plenty of room for more -- I hope I get added. If not, I'll hike myself or take my dog for a run. Not a huge deal, but I'd like to go with the group. The last 6 months, this hike became popular with leaders -- just ahead of moving lol.

I set an alarm for a really special hike next weekend. Glad I did. I registered the SECOND it opened and by the time I filled out my information, it was full with a double-the-size waitlist. I was very lucky to get a spot. It'll be amazing and challenging and fun (pretty please no rain-out).

We're babysitting this evening and I couldn't be happier. So much fun to have the baby without parents lol. He's at that stage where he wants to be with mom and dad (of course) but when they're out of sight, he's so happy to play and snuggle with us (fingers crossed).

My jaw is still a mess. It hurts to chew and I can't open it all the way. Geez. 

I've been practicing wearing heals for the wedding and I think I had a breakthrough yesterday. Perhaps my clunky walking is because I'm keeping my stance wide. I did a little closer to a model walk with my foot landing like I'm walking a plank and it felt so much easier. Wasn't as awkward either. Did I forgot this or did I never know it?!?! I'll try it again today.

I've been on a struggle bus with reading. DNF another book because it was upsetting. I can't seem to read anything that is even vaguely problematic. I decided that I'll shelf all those kinds of reads for now and stick with warm and fuzzy or fun suspense. It's what I can enjoy right now. I got a few from the library and I'll start there. Leaning in to what I need.

Hope you have a good weekend. Later gators.

Be My Valentine

Valentine's Day -- almost forgot. Hike with the club today. Guess that's my gift to myself. Hubby and I have a dinner and movie night at home tomorrow so we'll call that our celebration. 

Walked and early lunch with a friend yesterday. 

I'm working on how to do friendship differently with different friends -- more specifically, how to change how I do friendship when the friendship changes. 

The friend I didn't invite to walk and lunch? I texted her and reached out with a fun memory and pictures (I passed a church in mid-town on Wednesday where we started a food tour in 2018 for her birthday). We texted back and forth. Friendship in a different way. 

Had I invited her to walk and lunch ... most likely she wouldn't have been available because she's babysitting (which annoys me and it shouldn't -- working on this) OR she would've canceled because it was still misty and wet out (super annoying -- not working on this reaction lol). Instead we had a nice "walk" down a memory and a little friendship bonding. Much better.

And, I spent time with someone who holds a reasonable commitment and a friendship I'm happy to put time and effort into because we share a lot of interests. I don't see her often and that's okay. It's an honest friendship -- both show up authentically in the amount that works for us. No promises, no sneaky excuses, no expectations (on both our ends), no resentments. 

Friendship relationships have a huge learning curve for me now that I want to be represented too. Apparently, I accepted a lot of one direction relationships because I didn't speak up or put myself at the friendship table too. Baby steps to figure this out without overreacting. Spoiler alert -- it's learning about me (not them). I have some baggage and it's taking a lot to work through it. I manage one thing and then, bam, something else pops up. I'm making progress though and it's very, very worth the work. 

My jaw is still a mess. Chewing and yawning hurts {fighting the urge to yawn now lol}. I'm back in a stress panic over the house selling (market it going to pot and no showings this long weekend) and wedding stuff (getting so close so no time to diddle around). 

Is anyone surprised? It's my pattern. Good day, panic day, and repeat. I listened to too much news related stuff yesterday. It's a hard balance to stay informed, but stay sane. People like to inform me and that's hard too. 

Trying to remember this too (as it relates to the house selling).

Hope you have a good day. I have a sloppy 8 mile hike. Not hard, but fast. New trail for me and I'm excited to try it. Later gators.

Clenched Jaw, Wedding Hair, and Red Shoes

I can't open my mount more than an inch -- apparently I was clenching most of yesterday. It's so sore again. I was just at the dentist so I know it's not dental related and we discussed clenching. This is apparently how I hold stress these days.

First -- the drive to and from midtown in POURING rain. So many accidents, delays. It was a mess. I parked and walked to buy coffee gift cards for welcome bags. I didn't remember it was so far -- got a few blocks and was soaked from flooded streets and car splashes. At that point, I kept going. Couldn't get much wetter. 

The hair stylist was an hour behind. The salon is one of those super loud, bustling places where you can't hear yourself think. Everyone was very "midtown" and posh -- not my vibe. I didn't super click with the stylist because I couldn't hear him and barely talked (probably sat and clenched my jaw).

He did my hair away from the mirror so I had no idea what was going on. It's close to what I want, but misses a bit -- he left a strange swirl for a comb (it's late arriving, but it shipped now) and the bottom bun needs to be more secured. I was tired, hungry, over-stimulated, soaking wet, and just wanted to get home. 

Home was over 2 hours away because of aforementioned weather, accidents, etc.

Here's the hair.

I added a comb to get an idea

It okay.

Strange swirl for comb

I like this angle

I like the back with a comb added

Came home and tried on the dress to get an idea of the full look. Polled friends on which shoes. Tied response, but I vote for the cranberry. My fashion friend said cranberry pared with formal dresses is the trend this year -- that's the vote that counts lol. Plus they're more comfortable.

I suddenly lost complete confidence in my look. Is vintage jewelry and red shoes trying to hard, missing the formal mark? Will I look like myself or like I'm playing dress up?

Waiting on earrings and the comb from Etsy to complete the look. If the comb is a hit, then gold toned for everything. The earrings are coming from France so who knows if they'll arrive in time. I probably need a backup. 

The good news is everything fit. 

Lordy, I know this is hardly important, but I want to feel good on the day and I want to have pictures I like too. I'm questioning everything. Best to take a beat and regroup when I settle down. The hair isn't great, but that's what a trial is for -- work out the kinks and adjust for the wedding day.

I don't like putting together formal looks. Thank god for my fashion friend (she made my wedding dress and is coming to the wedding). She's helping me to look like myself, but not get too weird. 

Rain will pull out this morning and I'm planning to meet a friend for an easy walk in a park and lunch. If she cancels because of the weather (although she's not my cancel friend lol), hubby and I will go to lunch. 

Hope you have a good day. I'll be focusing on unclenching (I clenched the entire time I typed this -- geez). Later gators.

That's Better

Happy to report, yesterday was business as usual. No face diving into chocolate (!!) Sleep and recovery stats are good this morning.

I finished the court report early and made plans with a friend for Thursday morning. Walk in the park and a walk to brunch. Rain will pull out early in the morning so a paved path is best. The area is a soggy mess. I don't need a workout, but would love some outside time and a friend is a bonus.

The makeup trial was fun. I learned a little. I bought 2 lip combos for the rehearsal and the wedding. I wanted to bring "lips" along so I can touchup throughout the night. She had limited eye options so I didn't get the look I requested, but I liked it. I looked like me, but fancier. That's the point. My day and evening and formal makeup are all the same. This is a definitely different option. I'll take pictures to the makeup artist on the wedding day.

Pictures are WONKY and lighting is strange, but here's the final product. Honestly, why did I take the pictures at this angle?!?! Do I look like this hahaha??

Berry lips

Nude lips

Eyes

Today is my hair trial -- let's try this again. Unfortunately, pouring rain all day. I'm not looking forward to the drive to midtown but hopefully the hair process is a success. 

Switching gears ...

I'm forever trying to figure out friendship stuff and how to navigate with my new found voice and FS identity (sounds dramatic, but I don't know how else to quickly describe it). I listened to a podcast and didn't agree with everything, but took away a few points. Put time and energy into relationships you want. I have a habit of doing the opposite. I infuse struggling relationships with too much effort.

The invite for walking and brunch would've gone to another friend -- the friendship that's going through some bumps right now. Why? Because I'm holding way too tight to try and stop the relationship from changing (spoiler alert: it already has). I can still love her as my friend, but the energy and effort can go elsewhere. Truth be told, I'm way more excited to spend a few hours with this other friend. Our interests align, our energy aligns.

It's extremely hard to accept this other relationship has changed. Her identity took a hard turn while mine continues on the relatively same path. Neither is right or wrong, but we don't align much these days. I miss her and our little adventures together. I hope our history together is enough for now and I hope we find a new connection. That's where I need to put my energy -- forging a new friendship path, not clinging to the old one. I already have some ideas, but in the meantime, my invites go elsewhere.

This was the other piece of friendship advice. Friendships come and go (and can come back again). Accept that flow and don't take it personally. 

Okay -- that's enough pondering for now. Hope you have a good day. Later gators.

What Happened?!?!

I'm not sure what happened, but I fell face-first into chocolate, popcorn, and way too much food last night. I haven't had that kind of junk food mashup in a long, long time. It felt like de-stressing and it was totally NOT.

I feel like crap this morning. Of course I do. Geez. Night sweats like I haven't had in a long time -- need to wash the sheets kind of night sweats. My poor body -- so sorry I put her through this.

I was home alone, nothing left on the to-do list, tired beyond measure and that was my response. I hope each time this happens I learn to hate it more and more. It's not who I want to be -- even a little bit.

Back to regularly scheduled life today and lesson noted (again).

Fortunately, a workout, meditation, and lots of water will have me feeling well by this afternoon. 

Two rainy days ahead so no outside time -- that's a bummer, but we welcome some rain (says all middle aged gardeners lol).

Even though I had an off evening, I had a good day. Made progress on all the things. I'm going to try and get the court report finished early so it opens up Thursday which will be cool and sunny. I'd love to sneak in some outside time. Big hikes on Friday and Saturday -- excited about both.

Quick (and a little shameful) hello this morning. Makeup trial today. Have a good Tuesday. Later gators.

Incredible Hike

Well, I needed luck! The drive to the trail head was wacky. You lose cell reception and then go over mountain roads, no shoulder, switchback turns, etc. I followed the directions old-school written out, clutched while holding the steering wheel. Passed a turn that looked like I should turn THAT way, but it wasn't part of the directions.

So I carried on. Found a place that sort of matched the description. No one there. I got out, used my new "female urine adaptor" to go in the woods (success). Some sort of swimming otters watched me lol. Decided (with minutes to spare) to drive back to that turn. Yep, he missed some of the directions in the instructions. Found the group. Phew -- it was close.

This was the best hike I've been on with the club. Seriously fantastic. We hiked UP the mountain -- parts on the AT (met a through hiker heading to Maine). Then CLIMBED to the lunch look out -- had to drop poles and climb with hands. It was beautiful. We lunched, shared lunches, laughed, and laughed. 

We took another trail down and it was like a fairy forest. Mountain Laurel is windy and crazy looking in the winter and the path was deeply covered. Spring green moss over rocks. The softest trail covering. Streams crossings and running water sounds as we followed a creek down. Picture perfect day. Warm sun, cool breeze. Unbelievable.

Pictures don't do it justice. I only took pictures at lunch. I had my phone away since the hike was challenging. Didn't want to chance my phone getting broken. 

Cloud line in distance
on mountain top.

AT shelter

Lunch view on highest peak.
Hiking sammies are the best.

I can't tell you how glad I am that I took a chance and went on the hike. Everything about it check my "brave" boxes. 

I got home in time to pick up hubby and dogs before the showing. We hung out at a park for an hour. Good feedback, but might decide on the other house in the neighborhood instead.

Quick shower and off to kids for Super Bowl. We stayed to watch halftime -- got about an hour to play with my grandson before his bedtime. I'm never invested in who wins, but finding out who Orange supported and why -- FLY EAGLES FLY! My son clued me into the halftime story and that made me even happier. Every small victory is hope.

Tired dogs, tired me.

This week is full in a different sort of way. I have appointments every day -- groomer, dentist, makeup trial, hair trial. I have a report due for volunteering which is my least favorite part and takes hours to write. Rain is coming in for a few days, so no hiking (probably for the best since I don't have a lot of extra time). Big hikes Friday afternoon and Saturday morning though. 

I also MUST get some wedding stuff finalized. It's feeling too last minute and rushed now. I want most everything finished by the end of next week. 

Once again, trying to remember to stay in the moment. It works well and there's a lot of fun in the week I don't want to mentally miss -- hello, makeup and hair appointments. A dentist appointment and a court report can overshadow it all if I don't pay attention lol. Practice and more practice.

Happy Monday. Hope you'll enjoy a good week. Later gators.

AT Hike -- Fingers Crossed

The party was fantastic. Met the kids' friends, saw family, celebrated. Mostly importantly, our grandson had the best time. He loves an audience and a lively group.

It was an all-day kind of day. Came home, unpacked, and plopped in bed. Had a little volunteer "emergency" to handle and then SLEEP. My recovery stats this morning are at a 96%. I've only hit that high once before. What?!?! Wow. This bodes well for the hike this morning.

That said, my jaw is problematic again. I'm feeling the countdown clock on the wedding -- too many things outstanding on my end still. Everything in process and very little I can move ahead this week. I feel like the safety net of "I have plenty of time" is rapidly closing. Hello, jaw clench. 

The answer? Lists. And more lists. This calms me and reminds me I can get it all finished. Just need to make the time to make the lists lol.

I'm a little nervous about the hike. No bathrooms. No cell reception. No marked starting point (drive past a tree and a bridge and see a little turn off -- that kind of thing). It's 8 miles and heavy elevation. The climb should be worth it though -- highest point on the Georgia AT. I'm also hiking with 3 of my favorite people from the club. That makes it a lot more interesting. 

Every bone in my body wanted to withdraw yesterday, but this hike doesn't come along almost ever. Usually it's combined with other hiking that's way out of my league. I've wanted to try this mountain and this is the opportunity. I'll love that I went (assuming I find this trail head to start).

It's a little one of the tweaks I've been making with decisions. Quit saying I'm so tired and quit saying it's too much. Quit saying no when things are a little prickly. I'm a big girl. I can (probably) find the trail head. I can pee in the woods if I have to (not well, but good enough). This is something I WANT to do, so I should and can make the effort. Live an expansive life. I started driving without GPS -- I can do this one little navigation without GPS (but still nervous).

We have a showing just as I'm getting home from the hike -- another reason I considered backing out. But there's no reason. It'll all work out. I'll pack an extra hike sammie for the ride home, a book, and wait in a parking lot.

Anyway, after the hike, after a shower -- driving to the kids' house to watch the Super Bowl. Only reason I'm going is to see the birthday boy again. 

Today should be a full and fun day. Bedtime will feel good again. Hope you have a good one. Later gators.