That's Better

Happy to report, yesterday was business as usual. No face diving into chocolate (!!) Sleep and recovery stats are good this morning.

I finished the court report early and made plans with a friend for Thursday morning. Walk in the park and a walk to brunch. Rain will pull out early in the morning so a paved path is best. The area is a soggy mess. I don't need a workout, but would love some outside time and a friend is a bonus.

The makeup trial was fun. I learned a little. I bought 2 lip combos for the rehearsal and the wedding. I wanted to bring "lips" along so I can touchup throughout the night. She had limited eye options so I didn't get the look I requested, but I liked it. I looked like me, but fancier. That's the point. My day and evening and formal makeup are all the same. This is a definitely different option. I'll take pictures to the makeup artist on the wedding day.

Pictures are WONKY and lighting is strange, but here's the final product. Honestly, why did I take the pictures at this angle?!?! Do I look like this hahaha??

Berry lips

Nude lips

Eyes

Today is my hair trial -- let's try this again. Unfortunately, pouring rain all day. I'm not looking forward to the drive to midtown but hopefully the hair process is a success. 

Switching gears ...

I'm forever trying to figure out friendship stuff and how to navigate with my new found voice and FS identity (sounds dramatic, but I don't know how else to quickly describe it). I listened to a podcast and didn't agree with everything, but took away a few points. Put time and energy into relationships you want. I have a habit of doing the opposite. I infuse struggling relationships with too much effort.

The invite for walking and brunch would've gone to another friend -- the friendship that's going through some bumps right now. Why? Because I'm holding way too tight to try and stop the relationship from changing (spoiler alert: it already has). I can still love her as my friend, but the energy and effort can go elsewhere. Truth be told, I'm way more excited to spend a few hours with this other friend. Our interests align, our energy aligns.

It's extremely hard to accept this other relationship has changed. Her identity took a hard turn while mine continues on the relatively same path. Neither is right or wrong, but we don't align much these days. I miss her and our little adventures together. I hope our history together is enough for now and I hope we find a new connection. That's where I need to put my energy -- forging a new friendship path, not clinging to the old one. I already have some ideas, but in the meantime, my invites go elsewhere.

This was the other piece of friendship advice. Friendships come and go (and can come back again). Accept that flow and don't take it personally. 

Okay -- that's enough pondering for now. Hope you have a good day. Later gators.