Thoughts and Decisions

I made a few decisions yesterday.

(1) Get coached on Thursday. I emailed and asked (it's open coaching) -- I'm on the schedule. Worth sacrificing the hike. It's a guest coach and I've been coached by her before. Curious if she has any insights or can direct me to insights. 

(2) I emailed the hike leader for the big trip next year and told her it was too technical for me. This in the name of priorities too. Training for this trip would take over my life -- all for a challenge that I don't know I'd really enjoy and that scares me in a way that's not a good scary (aka I could fall to my death). I don't want to hike ridge-line hiking with metal ladders to scramble over rocks. It's only one of the days, but that day could literally be the end of me. 

There's a lot of road between where I am now and that trip. I decided to make stops along the way, so to speak. 

This includes getting on the next level hikes with her (aka a qualifier hike for the trip). I'm not using it as a qualifier, but I want to challenge myself and see if I like hiking at that level. She put 2 hikes on for back-to-back weekends in October so I can challenge myself and have time to get ready. 

THIS is (sort of) fun, a little scary, and a more appropriate challenge. It's a big push for me.

(3) The volunteer meeting I attended on Saturday was informational, but I planned to volunteer regularly for this refugee organization. Given my schedule, I decided not now. I became a monthly donor, signed up for a volunteer event, but regular volunteering needs to wait. 

I'm spread too thin. 

Election work is taking up a lot of my time and that's my priority. I can volunteer and help out in different ways with this other organization. I'll revisit it after the election.

These decisions are good AND they aren't home runs -- mixed feelings abound. 

I'm doing the work to figure out my priorities and making decisions with that filter. 

I'm getting coached on the other aspect -- scarcity and fear of losing what I worked for (relationships, hobbies, etc). That's less logistical and I'm not seeing clearly.

I want this full life, but I need to make time for the quiet spaces that are just for me. Without them, the full life becomes a to-do list, not a joy.

Anyway ... what's today, no one asked?

A long walk, arm workout, Adopt-a-Road clean-up, seed pickup for the donation garden, and babysitting my grandson. 

I'm going to focus on how this day is for me (even though it feels a little task heavy). These are all things I WANT on my calendar and I can enjoy doing them. I'm also going to look for the quiet spaces in-between -- be intentional about noticing them.

Sometimes on task days, the pleasure comes from finishing the tasks, not from doing them. I'm trying to switch that today. Many "fixes" in my life are perspective changes on the exact same life. I wonder if this is the case again.

Where I held space was a 'no' to lunch with the hiking group (they aren't hiking today, only lunch). I could've rushed and fit it in, but chose quiet space instead. 

I need to try. There's a way to get a better balance. I haven't figured it out yet, but I'm working on it.

Hope you have a good Tuesday. 

Later gators.