Life in Full Color?

I have so many balls in the air right now. And every one is something I planned, curated, wanted, worked at, wished for and kept going, kept trying, kept failing to get to this point here.

And now I'm nervous, worried, anxious. Can I keep this up AND have fun? It teeters into a task list if I'm not careful. A little motto I keep repeating is THIS IS FUN. I want this. I don't want to go back to my beige-ish life. 

This is on the push board over my desk. It's been here as an inspiration for how I want to show up for my life.

Remember how I had middle of the night "panic attacks" over the shower? Well, now it's about all-the-things happening AGAIN. Is this just hormones and my mind will find anything to get anxious? I don't know. It's frustrating. 

I want a colorful life, but do I LIKE a colorful life? I think the answer is yes, but it seems to come with unexpected mental drama. I'm in a "working" phase of these goals and it's scary (why, I don't know). It's strange because none of the goals themselves are scary. Put them in a package and I suddenly feel overwhelmed, overworked, etc. This feeling is a byproduct of a full life -- thoughts from coaching. I'm having trouble holding this right now. 

I'm also telling myself a story about some family stuff going on -- it really IS just a story, but I think it has some truth in it. I've got my Granny panties all in a bunch over it. Sometimes feeling feelings is a lot (because I seem to have so many feelings). Add this "work" to my list.

I know peri can make you feel a little crazy. Maybe this is all peri. Geez. 50s are great and are really hard too. 

Anyway. I painted rocks yesterday. One was a total flop and no amount of correction could fix it -- trash can worthy. It was meant to be a cartoon cat lying on the grass (didn't think to take a picture). I really like the giraffe and the zebra is just okay. I added a flower to distract from the mess. My black pens aren't working well and I the brushes are getting wonky too. It was hard to get clear detail on the stripes.

Flower

Mod podged a ribbon
heart to see if that holds.

My favorite

I finished this book. It was really good. Sadly, the forward gave away the ending. It would've shocked the crap out of me had I not read that first. It should've been at the end of the book. Well worth a read though. The writing is also excellent. I sound like an old fogey, but it's hard to find writing and story telling like this in newer books.

I started a library book yesterday. I haven't taken a picture yet. Stay tuned because I totally don't remember the name or author.

I visited two Goodwills yesterday. One wasn't nice, one was just okay. Neither are adding to my list. I've read that all are not equal and it helps to find favorites. I'm sort of on a mission to lay eyes on the ones around -- including other thrift stores. 

Lunch with a casual friend today. Trying a restaurant new to me, recommended by my DIL for its big GF menu. 

Hopefully I can pull out of this mood again. Good lord -- rollercoaster everyday day. Hope you're set for a good weekend ahead. Later gators.