No Thanksgiving

Kids called yesterday -- both are sick. We canceled Thanksgiving. We'll exchange food so we all get to eat a dinner at least.

I'm disappointed and I understand (of course). We are leaving for AZ and exposure tomorrow would mean potentially sick for the trip. We don't know if it's COVID. They're negative so far. 

Here's the hard part for me. I had an overwhelming desire to skip the work of Thanksgiving this year. Go to Asheville (with hubby and the dogs), hike and eat sushi kind of skip. But I didn't because that seemed too extreme and no one would see the fun of that since I'm the one that does the lion's share of the work (for years I did all the work) and they enjoy the service of it. And tradition is important too.

The universe is a funny gal though. I got to do all the work of Thanksgiving, but none of the fun of Thanksgiving and definitely none of the fun of a boycotted Thanksgiving.

Can I listen to myself when I have such overwhelming desire? Is the desire a forward direction to try something new or a desire to take a break from the work of things? Does that really matter? Should I listen anyway?

So many questions. No answers. Was this a message from the universe -- listen to your gut? Or just bad luck. I wanted to have a break this year because these few months are unusually full with a lot of work for me. Something radically different this year sounded nice. Thanksgiving is a lot of work for one meal. There's enough connection and tradition to cover this year without feeling lost for family time.

I might have an opportunity to practice this over Christmas. Maybe make the holiday something that I really enjoy too. Less work, more fun -- for me too. I'll mull it over. It's too early to really know and there are a few balls still in the air.

I'm also a little upset because this is the 3rd year in a row the kids did something right before our holiday together and got sick. Of course, they couldn't help an out-of-town wedding over the weekend of a best friend. Christmas is timing the same though. They're getting together with out-of-town family the week before Christmas setting up for a potential exposures again.

All the more reason to make Christmas what I want too. 

Listening to myself has been such a blessing, but it's also frustrating as I learn what and when to stand up. Would I feel this same way if Thanksgiving happened after all? Would I be glad I didn't boycott for something very different if we had a really nice day?

Well, anyway ... I hope you are having a joy filled holiday. I'll have a good day because all the heavy lifting is finished. I have one more dish to make this morning, but everything else is ready to go. I cleared a corner of our stacked dining room table (stuff for the shower, Asheville, AZ and Christmas mailings) and set a little table for our dinner.

Making the most out of it and that part feels easy. The part that is tripping me up is questioning if I should have listened to what I wanted in the first place. Can't change anything now, but I'll keep this in mind going forward. I wonder what I could change for Christmas that I'll love? I have a few ideas already.

Later gators.

P.S. One idea is a long hike Christmas Eve morning (I usual spend the day in the kitchen preparing our big dinner Christmas Eve). This came yesterday. Now we can bring both dogs along on hikes.