Things That Help

Ahhhh .... TOOLS.  Yep, still talking about it.

It's like I took an amnesia pill and forgot what I learned last year.  Things got hard and I threw the toolbox in the river.

Remember when I was overwhelmed and I started turning off my phone for a couple of hours (she says to herself)?  Started doing that again.  Feels fantastic.

Taking a break from looking at Facebook is working for me too.  My page is almost exclusively dog stuff (because I've "unfollowed" so many peeps - hah).  Since the rescue world feels hard right now, I'm stepping back as much as I can until it feels better.  Seeing shelter posts, dogs in need, etc. is bringing me down.  Need to fill the mental tank before I can take that on again.

WORTH IT.  An oldie, but goodie.  Not necessarily in regard to food ... it works for almost everything.  Does doing *this* bring me satisfaction, good feels, etc.?  What if I don't do it?  Do I have to do it?  All the questions.  When I stop and listen to what I want, my day is much better.  It's like PROBLEM-SOLVING (goes hand-in-hand), I do this with big stuff, but the everyday little things are a challenge.

Why?  Because I tell myself the color of my toe nails doesn't REALLY matter.  And, that's true.  But, conversely, why shouldn't I have the color that makes me happy -- a little bit of happy.  This happened at my nail appointment.  I couldn't find the color I was looking for and Jesse was ready for me early.  I settled for a nice color, but it was a winter look.  I sat talking myself into it because I was already in the chair and didn't want to make a fuss.  Then I remembered -- little things CAN matter.  It was WORTH IT to ask Jesse to find me the color I couldn't.  She found it super easily - PROBLEM SOLVED.  Happy toes and it was WORTH opening my mouth and speaking up.

I get a double boost when I see my toes -- happy color and happy I did make myself a priority.  It IS a super SMALL thing, but I've come to realize that small matters to ME.  Little things add up during a day.  Speaking up sent a message to me that I value myself.  I know this seems trivial, but when I send small messages (good or bad) to myself all day long, the SUM is bigger than the parts.  It matters.  I've been sending the wrong message for the last couple of months.

Something that is also helping is building ROUTINES.  From my morning routine to grocery shopping to cleaning.  I like routine.  Flexibility counts, but on the whole, routine makes my life smoother, less stressful with fewer decisions.  My usual routines went out the window after the move and having hubby home with me.  It's not WHAT the routine looks like ... it's that it IS a routine.  Of course, I want them to be catered to what works for me (i.e. morning person, etc), but they are different than they were 5 months ago.  That's okay.

I couldn't understand why I didn't get myself to Costco -- kept running out of the things I buy there.  I only go every couple of weeks and the NEW Costco is close to me AND I like it better.  So what's the issue?  Then I remembered, I went to Costco after a morning boxing class (not every time, but if I went, it was after the class that was just around the corner).  No more boxing class = no more trips to Costco.

That's when I made the ROUTINE connection.  I had a Costco routine.  When I looked at my day-to-day, I was surprised at how often I built a routine (and didn't even realize it).  That's why life FEELS so chaotic -- no routines, no pre-made decisions -- everything was a thought and a decision and it's mentally exhausting and all over the map.

First step is building my morning routine to fit my NEW NORMAL.  I don't have the answer for the rest yet, but I'm aware and trying to find patterns that will help.

Lots of rambles.  I wanted to write it out because, apparently, I like to forget this stuff -- over and over.  Good grief.  When will it stick for good?