Ta-Da, It's Tuesday!

We are proud owners of ONE house now.  Closing went smoothly (although some details down to the wire).  We closed together, but in separate rooms.  That worked -- I didn't want to sit across from them while the last "discussions" were made.  Our realtor gave them some incorrect dates and it came back as an issue, but it was worked out in the end.

That stress is finished.

I'm proud of myself because I had a LETTING GO moment this morning.  I took myself off of the neighborhood Facebook page.  It's a group I needed to belong to because there's important information (lost dog, water break, etc), but it was littered with COMPLAINTS and snarky replies and all things annoying (it's a neighborhood of 640 homes -- lots of "general population").  I'd read posts, get annoyed, fight to NOT post a reply and that's not productive or necessary.  BUT ... leaving felt like a goodbye (and, honestly, hard to stop want to "see" and judge it all -- bad habit) ... yet I did it.  Seems small, but it's a good clean break.  I could have "unfollowed" instead and still be able to spy on all the things.  I debated and wobbled and then left.  Yea, ME!!

I'm up early.  Dogs are not.  I tried.

Back to the fact that it's TUESDAY -- my feel better day.  I'm partially there.  Is that a win?  I feel better physically (mostly), but I need to get my head back in a better space.

Here's why.  Last night we were happy and relieved and all good things.  Yep -- Tuesday would be the start of good.  Then (just before I went to bed to read) hubby announced he's not going back to work for at least a year and maybe not at all.  Big "conversation" ensued and my STRESS level shot to the heavens.  To THE HEAVENS!

Okay, Universe.  Once again giving it back to me.  Stress won't leave.  I need to change to handle stress better.  Turn all this around, etc.  I'm ready to fight the fight again, do the work, make the effort.

We've arrived at the NEW NORMAL and I need to adjust.  This is going to be an epic battle (*cue dramatic music*).  I've been surviving under the assumption this togetherness is temporary, at least more temporary than it is and that was a killer mistake.  (Or maybe it was the best I could do at the time?)  It's not him specifically, it's needing my space in general.  Without the space, I'm a hot mess.

Last night, it felt devastating (yep, dramatic).  Today it feels like a challenge.  Mount Everest of personal growth, marriage building and uncertainty.

I have no choice.  This is the next chapter.  Stay tuned ...