Sneaky Bad Habit

I noticed a bad habit.

Head complaining.

What?!?  Didn't I moderate that way back when ... yep, and I'm doing well NOT doing it ... until recently.

Why?  It morphed into something that doesn't look like complaining, it looks like personal growth.

I've had to spend time figuring some of my WHYs lately.  Why do I feel smothered?  Why do I want to buffer often and hard?  Why can't I continue better habits? (aka coaching homework)

To look at the WHY, I need to look at what's frustrating me and THAT IS COMPLAINING in my head.  No one is giving me space.  I'm bored.  Someone said something mean.  All I do is stuff for everyone else.

That triggered a complaining binge and the rest is history.

Once I figure out some of the WHY, I need to stop thinking about it, but I don't  --- in the name of thinking HARDER and LONGER will get me a better answer -- fools gold.  Nope.  It's my old "feel bad" habit in disguise.  It's making me grumpy and giving me an excuse to be annoyed a lot.

Sneaky, smart brain.  I see you.

New rule.  No head complaining ON REPEAT.  Easier said than done because the "why" is important and should be explored.  It's the REPEAT that's ugly.

I've had a lot of WHY thinking lately, so I'm going on a WHY-FAST this week.  My focus is being grateful and looking for SOLUTIONS.  

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In other news ...

I ate too much pork (i.e. ribs).

Pork doesn't sit well with me, but I can eat it in moderate amounts.  We had so many ribs left, I ate pork with 4 meals in a row (over 2 days) and my body isn't happy.  Ribs are finished though 😛  (I even gave some to the kids for leftovers -- hubby didn't want leftovers and that's why I ate the brunt of them.)

I'm up at 5 o'clock with a bloated stomach and an empty energy tank.  I planned an outdoor run, but I think it's going to be modified (I boxed hard yesterday so an easier workout isn't a horrible idea.)  I'll see as I wake up (i.e. finish my coffee).

Dentist is over and went smoothly -- thanks for asking -- hah.  I rounded out the day paying bills and troubleshooting rescue problems.  Shit-banger of a Monday.

I planned a lunch treat to get takeout from a local restaurant (they have a great option for W30 and it feeds me for a few meals) and they CLOSED.  Just like that -- dang.  That's a bummer.  (Hence the, well, I'll finish the ribs today.)

I added a massage to Thursday.  Why not.  SOMETHING to look forward to ... my social slump is the real deal.  When GA has a long weekend, holiday, WEEK BEFORE SCHOOL -- everyone and I mean everyone does something.  I've never seen the likes of it anywhere else we've lived.  This is that before school period and GA is MIA.  Traffic is low, restaurants aren't crowded.  Case in point -- I called for a last minute massage this week (April only works one day now) and she was WIDE OPEN.  There's a small upside to being the only ones around LOL.

Even our neighborhood of empty nesters is empty (no one is walking in the morning, missing trash cans on trash day) -- why?  Grandkids.  It's crazy.  Where do they all go?  Gulf Coast -- Destin Beach for the last vacation until the first 3-day weekend when they all leave again.

I don't have a TREAT planned today, but I'll live if I skip a day - hah.

My TOOL is ACT how you want to FEEL.  I have no energy this morning, but I'm going to try and fake it a little and see if that helps.  It's the pork (my own doing).  I'm so tired that I'm actually thinking about going back to bed -- I won't, but I want to in a real way!  P.S. I had 9 hours of deep sleep -- I don't NEED to go back to bed.

Later gators.