Still empty on the friend front, but I'm forcing a few ideas for this week.
Hubby and I took our little dog on a nature walk yesterday. 4 miles of path in the woods -- fun morning. (This after an unexpected hard interval workout. Turns out, I need a warm-up, not an easy day.)
We have a pool and clubhouse at our new house. We've used is ZERO times. Taking a snack and books and doing an evening at the pool (probably more like an hour) but change of scenery and it counts - hah. BTW we had the same at the old house and I went to the pool 2 times in 6 years.
Repeating some of the fun from last weekend. No need to re-invent the wheel. Farmers Market and Unity service. Both were nice starts to the day so going for 2 in a row. My girlfriend is planning to go on Sunday and we'll have breakfast after -- could the streak be over next week?? She's prone to cancel because she's so overwhelmed with company this month so I'm not counting on it, but I'll go either way.
We already covered the massage on Thursday.
Added lunch with my youngest today. Last week before he goes back to a M-F schedule at work.
Not bad for friendless fun.
I have my coaching call this morning. Update tomorrow, of course.
I had a call from a very old, good friend (my college roommate at Drexel way back when). We chatted for a couple of hours and it was nice. We recently had a mega catch-up call so this was totally unexpected. She was driving home from a family funeral (old, sick uncle) and had time to kill. During this "friendless" slump, it was like a virtual coffee date.
I started a couple new things ... book and Netflix. Jury is out on both.
Karolina's Twins -- Ronald Balson. 3rd in a series, but I see why it reads independently. I'd never know this was a series (I think the lawyer and investigator might be repeat characters). It's good so far, but it's another WW2 book and I'm over-read in those books. But, it has some mystery and it's interesting. I have to finish it by next Thursday for book club.
Derry Girls on Netflix. A friend recommended it. It's a sitcom style show from Ireland. It's funny, but the lead female character seems to overact in a I'm-trying-to-be-extra-funny-with-my-face kind of way. It's distractingly annoying. We watched 2 episodes. Still watching (nothing else to watch right now). That said, I did laugh a few times each episode (only 23 minutes each).
TREAT today is lunch with my youngest.
TOOL is TRUST the process. I want all my crap fixed NOW. Slow down, take time. Value little wins.
Happy hump day -- later gators.
Wednesday, July 31, 2019
Tuesday, July 30, 2019
Sneaky Bad Habit
I noticed a bad habit.
Head complaining.
What?!? Didn't I moderate that way back when ... yep, and I'm doing well NOT doing it ... until recently.
Why? It morphed into something that doesn't look like complaining, it looks like personal growth.
I've had to spend time figuring some of my WHYs lately. Why do I feel smothered? Why do I want to buffer often and hard? Why can't I continue better habits? (aka coaching homework)
To look at the WHY, I need to look at what's frustrating me and THAT IS COMPLAINING in my head. No one is giving me space. I'm bored. Someone said something mean. All I do is stuff for everyone else.
That triggered a complaining binge and the rest is history.
Once I figure out some of the WHY, I need to stop thinking about it, but I don't --- in the name of thinking HARDER and LONGER will get me a better answer -- fools gold. Nope. It's my old "feel bad" habit in disguise. It's making me grumpy and giving me an excuse to be annoyed a lot.
Sneaky, smart brain. I see you.
New rule. No head complaining ON REPEAT. Easier said than done because the "why" is important and should be explored. It's the REPEAT that's ugly.
I've had a lot of WHY thinking lately, so I'm going on a WHY-FAST this week. My focus is being grateful and looking for SOLUTIONS.
______________________________________________________________________
In other news ...
I ate too much pork (i.e. ribs).
Pork doesn't sit well with me, but I can eat it in moderate amounts. We had so many ribs left, I ate pork with 4 meals in a row (over 2 days) and my body isn't happy. Ribs are finished though 😛 (I even gave some to the kids for leftovers -- hubby didn't want leftovers and that's why I ate the brunt of them.)
I'm up at 5 o'clock with a bloated stomach and an empty energy tank. I planned an outdoor run, but I think it's going to be modified (I boxed hard yesterday so an easier workout isn't a horrible idea.) I'll see as I wake up (i.e. finish my coffee).
Dentist is over and went smoothly -- thanks for asking -- hah. I rounded out the day paying bills and troubleshooting rescue problems. Shit-banger of a Monday.
I planned a lunch treat to get takeout from a local restaurant (they have a great option for W30 and it feeds me for a few meals) and they CLOSED. Just like that -- dang. That's a bummer. (Hence the, well, I'll finish the ribs today.)
I added a massage to Thursday. Why not. SOMETHING to look forward to ... my social slump is the real deal. When GA has a long weekend, holiday, WEEK BEFORE SCHOOL -- everyone and I mean everyone does something. I've never seen the likes of it anywhere else we've lived. This is that before school period and GA is MIA. Traffic is low, restaurants aren't crowded. Case in point -- I called for a last minute massage this week (April only works one day now) and she was WIDE OPEN. There's a small upside to being the only ones around LOL.
Even our neighborhood of empty nesters is empty (no one is walking in the morning, missing trash cans on trash day) -- why? Grandkids. It's crazy. Where do they all go? Gulf Coast -- Destin Beach for the last vacation until the first 3-day weekend when they all leave again.
I don't have a TREAT planned today, but I'll live if I skip a day - hah.
My TOOL is ACT how you want to FEEL. I have no energy this morning, but I'm going to try and fake it a little and see if that helps. It's the pork (my own doing). I'm so tired that I'm actually thinking about going back to bed -- I won't, but I want to in a real way! P.S. I had 9 hours of deep sleep -- I don't NEED to go back to bed.
Later gators.
Head complaining.
What?!? Didn't I moderate that way back when ... yep, and I'm doing well NOT doing it ... until recently.
Why? It morphed into something that doesn't look like complaining, it looks like personal growth.
I've had to spend time figuring some of my WHYs lately. Why do I feel smothered? Why do I want to buffer often and hard? Why can't I continue better habits? (aka coaching homework)
To look at the WHY, I need to look at what's frustrating me and THAT IS COMPLAINING in my head. No one is giving me space. I'm bored. Someone said something mean. All I do is stuff for everyone else.
That triggered a complaining binge and the rest is history.
Once I figure out some of the WHY, I need to stop thinking about it, but I don't --- in the name of thinking HARDER and LONGER will get me a better answer -- fools gold. Nope. It's my old "feel bad" habit in disguise. It's making me grumpy and giving me an excuse to be annoyed a lot.
Sneaky, smart brain. I see you.
New rule. No head complaining ON REPEAT. Easier said than done because the "why" is important and should be explored. It's the REPEAT that's ugly.
I've had a lot of WHY thinking lately, so I'm going on a WHY-FAST this week. My focus is being grateful and looking for SOLUTIONS.
______________________________________________________________________
In other news ...
I ate too much pork (i.e. ribs).
Pork doesn't sit well with me, but I can eat it in moderate amounts. We had so many ribs left, I ate pork with 4 meals in a row (over 2 days) and my body isn't happy. Ribs are finished though 😛 (I even gave some to the kids for leftovers -- hubby didn't want leftovers and that's why I ate the brunt of them.)
I'm up at 5 o'clock with a bloated stomach and an empty energy tank. I planned an outdoor run, but I think it's going to be modified (I boxed hard yesterday so an easier workout isn't a horrible idea.) I'll see as I wake up (i.e. finish my coffee).
Dentist is over and went smoothly -- thanks for asking -- hah. I rounded out the day paying bills and troubleshooting rescue problems. Shit-banger of a Monday.
I planned a lunch treat to get takeout from a local restaurant (they have a great option for W30 and it feeds me for a few meals) and they CLOSED. Just like that -- dang. That's a bummer. (Hence the, well, I'll finish the ribs today.)
I added a massage to Thursday. Why not. SOMETHING to look forward to ... my social slump is the real deal. When GA has a long weekend, holiday, WEEK BEFORE SCHOOL -- everyone and I mean everyone does something. I've never seen the likes of it anywhere else we've lived. This is that before school period and GA is MIA. Traffic is low, restaurants aren't crowded. Case in point -- I called for a last minute massage this week (April only works one day now) and she was WIDE OPEN. There's a small upside to being the only ones around LOL.
Even our neighborhood of empty nesters is empty (no one is walking in the morning, missing trash cans on trash day) -- why? Grandkids. It's crazy. Where do they all go? Gulf Coast -- Destin Beach for the last vacation until the first 3-day weekend when they all leave again.
I don't have a TREAT planned today, but I'll live if I skip a day - hah.
My TOOL is ACT how you want to FEEL. I have no energy this morning, but I'm going to try and fake it a little and see if that helps. It's the pork (my own doing). I'm so tired that I'm actually thinking about going back to bed -- I won't, but I want to in a real way! P.S. I had 9 hours of deep sleep -- I don't NEED to go back to bed.
Later gators.
Monday, July 29, 2019
Dentist AND Monday and Updates
Ouch. Not a great combination. Dentist and a Monday. What was I thinking?
Most Important Update: While my new dress does not have a zipper, the apparent faux buttons are REAL. Hahaha. I was able to undress all by myself yesterday. Learn something new everyday.
Ribs Update: Super good. Tender, easy. The only change I'd make was the final step of tossing them in more sauce. We aren't a "sauce" family -- I'd serve it on the side next time. Clean up was a snap too.
Unity Service Update: Another good service -- glad I stuck to my plans to go. I'm learning a little more about Unity non-denominational take on the world. This was about identifying hidden beliefs that aren't serving you anymore (Sacred Cows). Interestingly enough, Brooke Castillo's latest podcast is on the same (which I listened to on the way over). Belief Ceilings. Guess that was an important message to hear.
I have some "thinking" homework to do before my coaching call on Wednesday. I planned to go at it this afternoon, but hubby canceled golf and will be here. Might be difficult to pull away. Still working on alone time. Early mornings are not my best heavy thinking time.
The weekend was busy and FUN -- a nice break from my social famine. This week is still empty though. I'll work on adding a couple of things ... I have a few brainstorming ideas.
Yesterday was the toughest W30 day, but I made it. I WANTED to snack and have a glass of wine (or 3) in a big way. It's hard when everyone is gathered and socially eating/drinking -- AND, I'm tired from making all that happen.
After a big together-time weekend, I need some extra space today. Not sure how that's going to happen, but I woke up thinking about it so I know it's MANDATORY - hah, for everyone's sanity (i.e. I have a case of the grumps -- and the dentist isn't helping matters).
On a sobering note, our family learned that my young cousin (mid-30s) has aggressive breast cancer. She has about a year (plus) of chemo, radiation, surgeries and long term drugs. That should be a cure (prognosis is excellent, but the road is miserable). My aunt is a mess (of course). She's single with no kids and, of course, that's a whole other side of what makes this hard. Prayers, thoughts -- however you do -- is appreciated. I almost didn't include this today, but she's hard on my mind so I'll share.
I took a plunge and ordered something interesting on Amazon -- self tanner. My legs are pasty pale like they've never seen the light of day (close to true). Usually, this is an epic fail (hello, orange), but I'm armed with new info (thanks, Instagram) and am going for it again. Updates and pictures when it happens.
I started a personal development book (Finish -- Jon Acuff) last night because the book club book isn't here yet (I ordered the actual book -- better for when you have to reference back and forth for discussion). Finish is an easy read with some interesting tidbits. It's a lot like Gretchen Rubin and her habits research.
My TREAT today is time alone. Somehow. P.S. dentist time doesn't count. I might find a more concrete treat as the day goes on -- I'm on a roll.
The TOOL is accepting what is (dentist). No point in fighting the inevitable.
That is all on this Monday morning. Dentist be damned -- I'm focused on a good day. Later gators.
Most Important Update: While my new dress does not have a zipper, the apparent faux buttons are REAL. Hahaha. I was able to undress all by myself yesterday. Learn something new everyday.
Ribs Update: Super good. Tender, easy. The only change I'd make was the final step of tossing them in more sauce. We aren't a "sauce" family -- I'd serve it on the side next time. Clean up was a snap too.
Unity Service Update: Another good service -- glad I stuck to my plans to go. I'm learning a little more about Unity non-denominational take on the world. This was about identifying hidden beliefs that aren't serving you anymore (Sacred Cows). Interestingly enough, Brooke Castillo's latest podcast is on the same (which I listened to on the way over). Belief Ceilings. Guess that was an important message to hear.
I have some "thinking" homework to do before my coaching call on Wednesday. I planned to go at it this afternoon, but hubby canceled golf and will be here. Might be difficult to pull away. Still working on alone time. Early mornings are not my best heavy thinking time.
The weekend was busy and FUN -- a nice break from my social famine. This week is still empty though. I'll work on adding a couple of things ... I have a few brainstorming ideas.
Yesterday was the toughest W30 day, but I made it. I WANTED to snack and have a glass of wine (or 3) in a big way. It's hard when everyone is gathered and socially eating/drinking -- AND, I'm tired from making all that happen.
After a big together-time weekend, I need some extra space today. Not sure how that's going to happen, but I woke up thinking about it so I know it's MANDATORY - hah, for everyone's sanity (i.e. I have a case of the grumps -- and the dentist isn't helping matters).
On a sobering note, our family learned that my young cousin (mid-30s) has aggressive breast cancer. She has about a year (plus) of chemo, radiation, surgeries and long term drugs. That should be a cure (prognosis is excellent, but the road is miserable). My aunt is a mess (of course). She's single with no kids and, of course, that's a whole other side of what makes this hard. Prayers, thoughts -- however you do -- is appreciated. I almost didn't include this today, but she's hard on my mind so I'll share.
I took a plunge and ordered something interesting on Amazon -- self tanner. My legs are pasty pale like they've never seen the light of day (close to true). Usually, this is an epic fail (hello, orange), but I'm armed with new info (thanks, Instagram) and am going for it again. Updates and pictures when it happens.
I started a personal development book (Finish -- Jon Acuff) last night because the book club book isn't here yet (I ordered the actual book -- better for when you have to reference back and forth for discussion). Finish is an easy read with some interesting tidbits. It's a lot like Gretchen Rubin and her habits research.
My TREAT today is time alone. Somehow. P.S. dentist time doesn't count. I might find a more concrete treat as the day goes on -- I'm on a roll.
The TOOL is accepting what is (dentist). No point in fighting the inevitable.
That is all on this Monday morning. Dentist be damned -- I'm focused on a good day. Later gators.
Sunday, July 28, 2019
New Dress and Farmer's Market
I like the new dress -- inexpensive (relatively), longer knee length, skirt has under sheath so I don't need to find a slip, comfortable. It fits well, BUT it's that kind that gets stuck coming over my head -- that little area where my arms can't maneuver enough to pull it over. Hubby has to help every time. I guess the price doesn't include a zipper.
I wore it last night looking at rehearsal dinner restaurants and am wearing it to church today. I hope it washes well (if it can dry clean all the better -- I need to read the tag).
Speaking of rehearsal dinner ...
I guess we saved the best for last. Two great options. Dinner was delicious. Both are industrial, hip, artsy places with chef focused food. One rents out the upper level (where we ate) and one has a large back room for private parties. The town is adorable, parking is plentiful. We should have something reserved soon. Kids were right to stick to that town.
We also took a trip to the new and improved Farmer's Market. The location changed (same town) and doubled in size. It was a perfect morning. Not humid, temps were still low in the morning, lots of shade. I got a few goodies. Tomatoes (perfect), strawberry jam with peppers (for future cheese tray), dog treats, hubby got bread and pastries.
The little coffee stand that used to serve from jugs in coolers GREW and has a nitro tap! I passed because of the high caffeine and my stomach, but the iced coffee was excellent. Next time ... nitro all the way.
It was a super morning and just what I needed.
After the market, I sat on the porch (I can't say enough about the nice weather) and finished A Gentleman from Moscow -- Amor Towles. One of the best books I've read in years -- my neighbor was spot on with the recommendation. Every chapter. Every page. Incredible.
Hitting the book club read next -- also recommended, although it's a book in a series. It reads independently, but most reviews say to read in order. I'll be skipping to book 3. Karolina's Twins -- Ronald Balsom.
Today is an afternoon in the kitchen. BBQ ribs, corn-on-the-cobb, salad, cheesy bread and chocolate dream whip pie. I'll eat what I can. I have W30 BBQ sauce I got as a freebie at the book signing a couple of months ago. Kids and dogs today. Another "easy" dinner, but lots of steps.
The afternoon/evening is about family, but the morning is mine. Unity service, car ride podcast and coffee. Sounds nice.
Yesterday was a big win -- mood and activity. I haven't had such a nice day in months. In the name of that lesson, today's TOOL is everything changes. Good to bad. Bad to good. There's an expression ... if you wait long enough, everything changes. Yep. I don't know if the "good" is staying, but it was a treat yesterday.
The TREAT today is taking the morning for myself. Putting an effort forward that will make me feel good. Fill my tank first.
Oh, and it's the HALFWAY mark of Whole30. Milestone one minute; never-ending month the next. BTW dinner last night stoked the wine fire again. A slightly chilled BIG glass of red wine sounds so dang good. Another entry on the urge list - hah.
Later gators.
 |
| Don't mind my strange face. I look ALL my almost 50 years in this picture!! |
 |
| Casual and comfortable |
I wore it last night looking at rehearsal dinner restaurants and am wearing it to church today. I hope it washes well (if it can dry clean all the better -- I need to read the tag).
Speaking of rehearsal dinner ...
I guess we saved the best for last. Two great options. Dinner was delicious. Both are industrial, hip, artsy places with chef focused food. One rents out the upper level (where we ate) and one has a large back room for private parties. The town is adorable, parking is plentiful. We should have something reserved soon. Kids were right to stick to that town.
We also took a trip to the new and improved Farmer's Market. The location changed (same town) and doubled in size. It was a perfect morning. Not humid, temps were still low in the morning, lots of shade. I got a few goodies. Tomatoes (perfect), strawberry jam with peppers (for future cheese tray), dog treats, hubby got bread and pastries.
The little coffee stand that used to serve from jugs in coolers GREW and has a nitro tap! I passed because of the high caffeine and my stomach, but the iced coffee was excellent. Next time ... nitro all the way.
It was a super morning and just what I needed.
After the market, I sat on the porch (I can't say enough about the nice weather) and finished A Gentleman from Moscow -- Amor Towles. One of the best books I've read in years -- my neighbor was spot on with the recommendation. Every chapter. Every page. Incredible.
Hitting the book club read next -- also recommended, although it's a book in a series. It reads independently, but most reviews say to read in order. I'll be skipping to book 3. Karolina's Twins -- Ronald Balsom.
Today is an afternoon in the kitchen. BBQ ribs, corn-on-the-cobb, salad, cheesy bread and chocolate dream whip pie. I'll eat what I can. I have W30 BBQ sauce I got as a freebie at the book signing a couple of months ago. Kids and dogs today. Another "easy" dinner, but lots of steps.
The afternoon/evening is about family, but the morning is mine. Unity service, car ride podcast and coffee. Sounds nice.
Yesterday was a big win -- mood and activity. I haven't had such a nice day in months. In the name of that lesson, today's TOOL is everything changes. Good to bad. Bad to good. There's an expression ... if you wait long enough, everything changes. Yep. I don't know if the "good" is staying, but it was a treat yesterday.
The TREAT today is taking the morning for myself. Putting an effort forward that will make me feel good. Fill my tank first.
Oh, and it's the HALFWAY mark of Whole30. Milestone one minute; never-ending month the next. BTW dinner last night stoked the wine fire again. A slightly chilled BIG glass of red wine sounds so dang good. Another entry on the urge list - hah.
Later gators.
Saturday, July 27, 2019
Saturday Updates
Here's an another ramble, but probably more upbeat - hah.
Ribs are waiting until Sunday -- I forgot about a Costco chicken pack that needed to be cooked. I use Pioneer Woman's Cowboy chicken marinade recipe and it's awesome. Because of this recipe, I started filleting the chicken breast thin -- makes for the best chicken, quicker than pounding thin.
In case you're curious:
1/2 cup honey
1/2 cup spicy mustard
1 tsp paprika
1 lemon squeezed
1 tsp salt
hot pepper flakes to taste -- 4 hours minimum
P.S. NOT Whole30, but I already declared no attention to marinades, etc. I've done enough STRICT W30s to know this doesn't change anything.
I went to bed extra early last night. I had a mid-afternoon stomachache and headache that left me yucky all evening. I think I was rundown -- feel a lot better this morning. I actually woke up 15 minutes before my alarm. My head is clearer when I'm not sound asleep at wake up time. That said, it was mentally rough to get up at 5 o'clock on a SATURDAY -- who does that? Me -- since I don't work and have no Friday social life LOL -- this morning is no different than a weekday.
Today is the busiest of the 2 weeks. We're headed to the Farmer's Market with our little dog in lieu of his long morning walk (after I brainstormed ideas of things-to-do). It's fun to walk around and see the food and crafts.
Then (once the kids confirm) we're "shopping" rehearsal dinner places. 2 left on the list -- nothing good so far. The wedding is in a small town with not many choices. My vote is to bring the rehearsal to our area, but that wasn't well received :) We'll figure out something. It's the kid's choice with a few financial parameters on our part. They have good taste and a good vision for the wedding -- I trust what they choose.
I'm going to the Unity Church service tomorrow. I went once with my friend and tried the meditation ahead of the service too. Unless I'm up and ready early, I'm only going to the service. The meditation was okay, but not worth getting up early. Tomorrow is a rest workout day and I'm going to sleep an extra hour (we'll probably be out later for dinner). This is about my SOLO entertainment. Get out and DO THINGS -- makes me feel better every time. I like the idea of going alone.
I ordered a cheap dress from Cents of Style and it came yesterday. Plan to wear it tomorrow and I'll grab a picture -- needs an iron desperately. I haven't tried it on yet either -- looks like it will fit, but don't know how it will look. Stay tuned ...
TREAT today is THE DAY. Finally full and fun.
TOOL is be PRESENT. I've been moaning and groaning all week about my boring week(s) -- I need to pay attention to a nice day.
Have a great Saturday -- I'm hoping for the same too. Later gators.
Ribs are waiting until Sunday -- I forgot about a Costco chicken pack that needed to be cooked. I use Pioneer Woman's Cowboy chicken marinade recipe and it's awesome. Because of this recipe, I started filleting the chicken breast thin -- makes for the best chicken, quicker than pounding thin.
In case you're curious:
1/2 cup honey
1/2 cup spicy mustard
1 tsp paprika
1 lemon squeezed
1 tsp salt
hot pepper flakes to taste -- 4 hours minimum
P.S. NOT Whole30, but I already declared no attention to marinades, etc. I've done enough STRICT W30s to know this doesn't change anything.
I went to bed extra early last night. I had a mid-afternoon stomachache and headache that left me yucky all evening. I think I was rundown -- feel a lot better this morning. I actually woke up 15 minutes before my alarm. My head is clearer when I'm not sound asleep at wake up time. That said, it was mentally rough to get up at 5 o'clock on a SATURDAY -- who does that? Me -- since I don't work and have no Friday social life LOL -- this morning is no different than a weekday.
Today is the busiest of the 2 weeks. We're headed to the Farmer's Market with our little dog in lieu of his long morning walk (after I brainstormed ideas of things-to-do). It's fun to walk around and see the food and crafts.
Then (once the kids confirm) we're "shopping" rehearsal dinner places. 2 left on the list -- nothing good so far. The wedding is in a small town with not many choices. My vote is to bring the rehearsal to our area, but that wasn't well received :) We'll figure out something. It's the kid's choice with a few financial parameters on our part. They have good taste and a good vision for the wedding -- I trust what they choose.
I'm going to the Unity Church service tomorrow. I went once with my friend and tried the meditation ahead of the service too. Unless I'm up and ready early, I'm only going to the service. The meditation was okay, but not worth getting up early. Tomorrow is a rest workout day and I'm going to sleep an extra hour (we'll probably be out later for dinner). This is about my SOLO entertainment. Get out and DO THINGS -- makes me feel better every time. I like the idea of going alone.
I ordered a cheap dress from Cents of Style and it came yesterday. Plan to wear it tomorrow and I'll grab a picture -- needs an iron desperately. I haven't tried it on yet either -- looks like it will fit, but don't know how it will look. Stay tuned ...
TREAT today is THE DAY. Finally full and fun.
TOOL is be PRESENT. I've been moaning and groaning all week about my boring week(s) -- I need to pay attention to a nice day.
Have a great Saturday -- I'm hoping for the same too. Later gators.
Friday, July 26, 2019
New Ribs Recipe
Ramblings ahead ...
This weekend I'm cooking ribs -- BBQ style. I've only made an Asian rib recipe a neighbor gave me many, many moons ago. We have it every Christmas Eve (because kids love that tradition). Delicious, but not what you think of for summer.
What intrigues me about this recipe is the rack stays whole until serving. I hate cutting raw ribs. It's more a method than a recipe, but I'm excited to try it. If I can get my act together it's what's for dinner tonight (otherwise, Sunday). 3 hours in the oven, crisped on the grill, slice and YUM.
BBQ Ribs
Yesterday was a successful day at the MART. Rings are bling and sparkle. Hubby got sunglasses. I found a pair of VELVET red reading glasses. So fun -- hopefully, they last until Christmas -- perfect for PJs on Christmas morning. I'm tough on readers so I might need to "save" them. Unexpected TREAT. I'm officially over my treat brain-block.
Whole 30 update: Day 13 -- almost halfway. A little magic -- here and there. My clothes don't fit much better because I lose THAT weight last (stomach, thighs, bum). What's coming off is in my face and shoulders and this random fat pocket I have on the back of my neck (where it meets my back). Those are the last to gain and the first to lose and don't make much of a difference in buttoning my pants. Still ... progress, yet it feels slow. I'm ready for some pants relief.
My energy is stabilizing. Having a rough go of morning wake-up because 5 o'clock is such hard time for my brain to wake up. I'm okay with exercise, but not great. Hard to tell whether it's because I'm out of shape (injuries) or W30. During the day, I have some W30 stable energy.
Cravings are diminishing (never actual gone though - probably good since I need to finish the urge list - hah). I'm over drooling when I see the bowl of wine corks -- also progress. I need to work on meal times. Lunch throws me everyday -- sometimes I'm eating by 11:30, sometimes 3:30. That throws dinner too early or too late. I might need to play with a mini-meal option.
I got through my BORING week, but to be honest, my dance card is still empty for next week (except the dang dentist). Solo play time. I need to be my own master of fun (online shopping only goes so far). I'm looking at that today. It's strange how life dropped off -- to nothing. Feast or famine.
5 o'clock wake up. This is my last "promised" day. I'm extending it for another week because thinking in terms of ALWAYS is overwhelming. Waking up and having MY morning has been awesome. But, it's hard. Especially hard when the only reason is ME. I have to make "me" enough of a reason.
My head is on a little wonky today -- could be morning brain fog. I have a case of the blahs. Day 13 -- ONLY Day 13. Pants don't fit. Boring as far as the eye can see (with a sprinkle of dental torture). Workouts STILL at the mercy of injury. Friends are MIA until school is back in session.
The LESSON -- sit in the feeling. It's okay that life isn't exploding with pleasure. The ACTION -- fix it ... turn it around, change the feeling, change the circumstance.
TREAT for today is TBD, but I'm on a roll -- I'll find something :)
TOOL is ACT HOW YOU WANT TO FEEL.
Later gators.
This weekend I'm cooking ribs -- BBQ style. I've only made an Asian rib recipe a neighbor gave me many, many moons ago. We have it every Christmas Eve (because kids love that tradition). Delicious, but not what you think of for summer.
What intrigues me about this recipe is the rack stays whole until serving. I hate cutting raw ribs. It's more a method than a recipe, but I'm excited to try it. If I can get my act together it's what's for dinner tonight (otherwise, Sunday). 3 hours in the oven, crisped on the grill, slice and YUM.
BBQ Ribs
Yesterday was a successful day at the MART. Rings are bling and sparkle. Hubby got sunglasses. I found a pair of VELVET red reading glasses. So fun -- hopefully, they last until Christmas -- perfect for PJs on Christmas morning. I'm tough on readers so I might need to "save" them. Unexpected TREAT. I'm officially over my treat brain-block.
Whole 30 update: Day 13 -- almost halfway. A little magic -- here and there. My clothes don't fit much better because I lose THAT weight last (stomach, thighs, bum). What's coming off is in my face and shoulders and this random fat pocket I have on the back of my neck (where it meets my back). Those are the last to gain and the first to lose and don't make much of a difference in buttoning my pants. Still ... progress, yet it feels slow. I'm ready for some pants relief.
My energy is stabilizing. Having a rough go of morning wake-up because 5 o'clock is such hard time for my brain to wake up. I'm okay with exercise, but not great. Hard to tell whether it's because I'm out of shape (injuries) or W30. During the day, I have some W30 stable energy.
Cravings are diminishing (never actual gone though - probably good since I need to finish the urge list - hah). I'm over drooling when I see the bowl of wine corks -- also progress. I need to work on meal times. Lunch throws me everyday -- sometimes I'm eating by 11:30, sometimes 3:30. That throws dinner too early or too late. I might need to play with a mini-meal option.
I got through my BORING week, but to be honest, my dance card is still empty for next week (except the dang dentist). Solo play time. I need to be my own master of fun (online shopping only goes so far). I'm looking at that today. It's strange how life dropped off -- to nothing. Feast or famine.
5 o'clock wake up. This is my last "promised" day. I'm extending it for another week because thinking in terms of ALWAYS is overwhelming. Waking up and having MY morning has been awesome. But, it's hard. Especially hard when the only reason is ME. I have to make "me" enough of a reason.
My head is on a little wonky today -- could be morning brain fog. I have a case of the blahs. Day 13 -- ONLY Day 13. Pants don't fit. Boring as far as the eye can see (with a sprinkle of dental torture). Workouts STILL at the mercy of injury. Friends are MIA until school is back in session.
The LESSON -- sit in the feeling. It's okay that life isn't exploding with pleasure. The ACTION -- fix it ... turn it around, change the feeling, change the circumstance.
TREAT for today is TBD, but I'm on a roll -- I'll find something :)
TOOL is ACT HOW YOU WANT TO FEEL.
Later gators.
Thursday, July 25, 2019
Coaching Call Update
Good morning.
Another day of falling back to sleep and getting smacked by the alarm. I wonder if my rhythm will eventually move to 5 o'clock if I consistently wake up at this time. I promised 2 weeks, but I know getting up early is working for me -- it'll be stupid to quit what works. (I'm moaning about it right this second because I'm not awake yet.)
Amazon delivered yesterday. Clothes were a bit of a flop but good enough for bedtime lounging. The t-shirt fits strangely (should have listened to some of the reviews on this one) and the shorts are total old-lady inspired. BUT, the lipstick is great. Love the feel and the color and the price. Burts Bees. Winner!
The coaching call was fantastic. Group coaching has it's merits, but one-on-one is working well for me now. I asked THE question and, not unexpectedly, got the answer in the form of lots of good homework questions. I'll update as we work the answer, but here is the long and convoluted question.
I was listening to a friend and her situation and her solution to the situation. When she was describing what was going on, I thought -- she's missing the mark, working the wrong part of the problem. I offered a gentle opinion because I'm a friend, not a coach. I think she needs to "see" it herself before she makes the shift. But is made me think ... immediately.
Am I'm doing the same? Am I missing the mark in a way that Holly can see? After all the work I did (and am doing) why haven't I fixed the problem? Is my goal possible? Is my expectation realistic? Is my process taking me to my goal? It's easy to see in other people, why can't I see it for myself?
I'm excited about the answer (her questions). That's a TBC after the next call. Working with SOMEONE who is coaching is so different than talking to a friend. Friends console, comfort, support (I do the same), but a coach works with you toward a solution. Also, no disrespect to my friends, but so many of us have similar issues with no answers too -- all we talk is the PROBLEM and WISH for some answer comes to light.
Heading downtown to the MART today with hubby. He's looking to get prescription sunglasses repaired when the local stores said it can't be done. We're also getting our rings polished and mine old ring dipped back to white (it's worn off along the back).
TREAT for today is having someone else drive -- relaxing.
TOOL is remembering that the universe is working for me and things happen because they're suppose to happen. I've been sensitive to so many little things this week.
Later gators.
Another day of falling back to sleep and getting smacked by the alarm. I wonder if my rhythm will eventually move to 5 o'clock if I consistently wake up at this time. I promised 2 weeks, but I know getting up early is working for me -- it'll be stupid to quit what works. (I'm moaning about it right this second because I'm not awake yet.)
Amazon delivered yesterday. Clothes were a bit of a flop but good enough for bedtime lounging. The t-shirt fits strangely (should have listened to some of the reviews on this one) and the shorts are total old-lady inspired. BUT, the lipstick is great. Love the feel and the color and the price. Burts Bees. Winner!
The coaching call was fantastic. Group coaching has it's merits, but one-on-one is working well for me now. I asked THE question and, not unexpectedly, got the answer in the form of lots of good homework questions. I'll update as we work the answer, but here is the long and convoluted question.
I was listening to a friend and her situation and her solution to the situation. When she was describing what was going on, I thought -- she's missing the mark, working the wrong part of the problem. I offered a gentle opinion because I'm a friend, not a coach. I think she needs to "see" it herself before she makes the shift. But is made me think ... immediately.
Am I'm doing the same? Am I missing the mark in a way that Holly can see? After all the work I did (and am doing) why haven't I fixed the problem? Is my goal possible? Is my expectation realistic? Is my process taking me to my goal? It's easy to see in other people, why can't I see it for myself?
I'm excited about the answer (her questions). That's a TBC after the next call. Working with SOMEONE who is coaching is so different than talking to a friend. Friends console, comfort, support (I do the same), but a coach works with you toward a solution. Also, no disrespect to my friends, but so many of us have similar issues with no answers too -- all we talk is the PROBLEM and WISH for some answer comes to light.
Heading downtown to the MART today with hubby. He's looking to get prescription sunglasses repaired when the local stores said it can't be done. We're also getting our rings polished and mine old ring dipped back to white (it's worn off along the back).
TREAT for today is having someone else drive -- relaxing.
TOOL is remembering that the universe is working for me and things happen because they're suppose to happen. I've been sensitive to so many little things this week.
Later gators.
Wednesday, July 24, 2019
19 for 19 Update
Gretchen Rubin ... list of 19 things to accomplish for 2019. The list could be ANYTHING ... big, small ... fun, hard ... important, silly.
I'm on track for a good run IF I get my butt moving on the not-so-fun things.
Here's the list.
Highlights are FINISHED - yea me. The first few were about getting the house ready to sell. We know how that worked out - ass backwards, but it's done and the new house is a reality.
The most important things are still outstanding -- update will and trust paperwork and make a comprehensive list of all accounts (numbers, passwords, etc). This needs to happen sooner than later.
We are back to the Italy trip -- all booked.
Fill Urge list - at #76. I think the outcome is a flop, but the list WILL get finished. More on that when I hit #100.
Church and brunch with Lisa (that's for the fall when walking around Atlanta is comfortable)
Create a positive afternoon routine -- going well.
What will likely NOT get accomplished:
Visit Memphis (it's almost a 7 hour drive -- I thought it was closer -- not worth it)
Learn a concert "dance move" (that was for RISE, which had come and gone)
Free from buffering (if only!!!!)
What's a MAYBE:
Hike with Darcie and Holly
Visit with Deb Kantor.
Both of these COULD happen if I make them a priority. It will take me to get it done and the year is ticking by quickly.
It was a fun activity for the new year and I'm going to do it again next year. The question is should I do 20 for 20 OR 50 for 50. It's the year I turn 50 and maybe I should go for gusto on things to do. Of course, a list of 50 will need to be lots of little things. The challenge sounds fun. Stay tuned ... either way, it's going to be a good time.
I've learned from this first go around ...
I need to think of things I want leading up to making the list. I made the list in January and a lot of the things were in my head in January (getting the house ready, etc). If it hadn't been on my actual to-do list, it probably wouldn't have make the 19. This time, I'd like the list to be less about THAT now moment -- something more thoughtful, more inspired. Does that make sense? And inspired doesn't necessarily mean meaningful or big.
For example:
I have a few classic movies that I've never seen, but always wanted to -- perfect for the list. What's not perfect is putting a movie coming out in February on the list. That's too NOW, too forgetful, too uninspired, too "regular."
It's fun to PLAN a year and put interesting things on the list. It's also hard to figure out what I want to accomplish an entire year away. My interests change, new ideas come to light. I remember a GR reader saying she left one line intentionally blank so she could add something during the year. That's a great idea.
I'm going to keep a running "idea" list as things come to mind or I copy other people's ideas - hah. I probably should get back on the GR network board to get inspired. I signed up for the year (cheap) and it was a flop for me. Maybe I'm ready for a revisit -- I have access to the entire year of materials if I can remember my password (!!).
I'm sure GR will have lots of info at the turn of the year on her podcast too. She loves to share everyone's great ideas.
If my running list is BIG, I'll go for the 50 ... if not, 20 sounds about right. I'm getting excited for a new list, but I need to focus on this year -- get it done, old gal.
I'm on track for a good run IF I get my butt moving on the not-so-fun things.
Here's the list.
Highlights are FINISHED - yea me. The first few were about getting the house ready to sell. We know how that worked out - ass backwards, but it's done and the new house is a reality.
The most important things are still outstanding -- update will and trust paperwork and make a comprehensive list of all accounts (numbers, passwords, etc). This needs to happen sooner than later.
We are back to the Italy trip -- all booked.
Fill Urge list - at #76. I think the outcome is a flop, but the list WILL get finished. More on that when I hit #100.
Church and brunch with Lisa (that's for the fall when walking around Atlanta is comfortable)
Create a positive afternoon routine -- going well.
What will likely NOT get accomplished:
Visit Memphis (it's almost a 7 hour drive -- I thought it was closer -- not worth it)
Learn a concert "dance move" (that was for RISE, which had come and gone)
Free from buffering (if only!!!!)
What's a MAYBE:
Hike with Darcie and Holly
Visit with Deb Kantor.
Both of these COULD happen if I make them a priority. It will take me to get it done and the year is ticking by quickly.
It was a fun activity for the new year and I'm going to do it again next year. The question is should I do 20 for 20 OR 50 for 50. It's the year I turn 50 and maybe I should go for gusto on things to do. Of course, a list of 50 will need to be lots of little things. The challenge sounds fun. Stay tuned ... either way, it's going to be a good time.
I've learned from this first go around ...
I need to think of things I want leading up to making the list. I made the list in January and a lot of the things were in my head in January (getting the house ready, etc). If it hadn't been on my actual to-do list, it probably wouldn't have make the 19. This time, I'd like the list to be less about THAT now moment -- something more thoughtful, more inspired. Does that make sense? And inspired doesn't necessarily mean meaningful or big.
For example:
I have a few classic movies that I've never seen, but always wanted to -- perfect for the list. What's not perfect is putting a movie coming out in February on the list. That's too NOW, too forgetful, too uninspired, too "regular."
It's fun to PLAN a year and put interesting things on the list. It's also hard to figure out what I want to accomplish an entire year away. My interests change, new ideas come to light. I remember a GR reader saying she left one line intentionally blank so she could add something during the year. That's a great idea.
I'm going to keep a running "idea" list as things come to mind or I copy other people's ideas - hah. I probably should get back on the GR network board to get inspired. I signed up for the year (cheap) and it was a flop for me. Maybe I'm ready for a revisit -- I have access to the entire year of materials if I can remember my password (!!).
I'm sure GR will have lots of info at the turn of the year on her podcast too. She loves to share everyone's great ideas.
If my running list is BIG, I'll go for the 50 ... if not, 20 sounds about right. I'm getting excited for a new list, but I need to focus on this year -- get it done, old gal.
Coaching Call and Whatnot
I'm looking forward to the coaching call. I've prepped a question in case we don't have much to say. Stay tuned for the question AND (hopefully) the ANSWER. At some point I'm going to ask her, if not today -- it's a good one :)
I'm particularly tired this morning. I woke up at 4 o'clock and decided to let myself FULLY fall back to sleep. Yep, accomplished that nicely. The alarm caught me hard, but I'm up. Promise is a promise. I promised 2 weeks.
I found another TREAT yesterday -- look at me go. Guess I'm a good treat finder after all - hah. As you might remember, clean crew came (but that felt like a household necessity with my back). I downloaded 2 new songs and it was fantastic for my workout. Those were the planned treats.
Then ...
I happened upon an online sale and a summer, casual dress that caught my eye. Inexpensive and the perfect thing to wear to church (I went once and plan to go again). At least, it looks perfect. Pictures when it arrives.
Speaking of arriving ...
My Amazon purchases should arrive today. Not a moment too soon. I need some big guns to keep me on the strait and narrow today. (P.S. Autocorrect let me know it's not STRAIGHT and narrow .... hmmmmm, never knew, but that makes total sense.)
Yesterday was the BIGGEST CRAVING for sweets. Wow. I rode it all night ... in Brooke Castillo terms, I allowed it and stayed curious. (You bet I added a couple of lines to the Urge List this morning.)
Not sure what it was about, but I'm not feeling recovered yet. Hubby is golfing today. I have a morning coaching call and mid-day dog walk with my grand-doggies. That't it. (I decided next week I'm back at rescue work. I feel better and I'm giving myself a minute to stay in that feeling.) Nothing much, home alone and feeling "off." Big guns are out and ready! This is going to be a tough day. (BWT -- Day 10 or 11 is the biggest quit day for W30, not me -- just saying for a friend - hah.)
As far as how I feel on Day 11 -- okay. Clothes are marginally more comfortable. Energy isn't stable yet. I had a headache last night and feel like I'm getting a cold. That could explain last night and this morning's "off" feeling. I actually wonder if it's allergies. Dogs are chewing paws like crazy and I noticed getting stuffed-up sitting outside ... hmmmmm. If only I knew a nurse LOL.
My 19 for 19 post is almost ready (I might finish it this morning). I need to proofread -- but why I bother, I'll never know. If I read a post a day later, it's almost a GIVEN that I find a mistake. Actually, finding only one is GOOD. Oh well. Sorry in advance for all future posts and typos. This morning has been particularly interesting. It's like Where's Waldo of typos ...
Speaking of reading ... wow, A Gentleman in Moscow. It's so so so so well written. This author is GOOD. I've heard of his other book, but can't remember right now (pre-coffee brain). I'll add that to my reading list. After I finish this book, I need to read the book club selection because it's coming up in a few weeks (also can't remember the name). Anyway, the point is THIS is a great book and even though I'm only a 1/3 finished, I give it a definite READ recommendation.
I've made progress on my list of 3 things to set in motion this week. I got another quote for the bench cushion and am "signing" for it today (originally quote was better). Electrician is coming next week -- 50/50 shot at getting the outlets because of electrician-blah-blah-blah. Hopefully, it can be done. Of course, anything can be done, but we won't do it if it involves cutting ceilings, etc. I texted the painter for the mirror and haven't heard back. I might need to get another name.
TREAT for today is Amazon package and I'm picking up dinner take-out since I'll be traveling to walk dogs -- good W30 option and something to look forward to in the evening.
TOOL for today is ALLOWING. Allow the feelings -- emotional feelings, craving feelings, bored feelings, sneeze-cold feelings. Whatever comes is FINE. Whatever comes does NOT require buffering. Just a vibration -- nothing more.
Happy Hump Day -- make it a good one. Later gators.
I'm particularly tired this morning. I woke up at 4 o'clock and decided to let myself FULLY fall back to sleep. Yep, accomplished that nicely. The alarm caught me hard, but I'm up. Promise is a promise. I promised 2 weeks.
I found another TREAT yesterday -- look at me go. Guess I'm a good treat finder after all - hah. As you might remember, clean crew came (but that felt like a household necessity with my back). I downloaded 2 new songs and it was fantastic for my workout. Those were the planned treats.
Then ...
I happened upon an online sale and a summer, casual dress that caught my eye. Inexpensive and the perfect thing to wear to church (I went once and plan to go again). At least, it looks perfect. Pictures when it arrives.
Speaking of arriving ...
My Amazon purchases should arrive today. Not a moment too soon. I need some big guns to keep me on the strait and narrow today. (P.S. Autocorrect let me know it's not STRAIGHT and narrow .... hmmmmm, never knew, but that makes total sense.)
Yesterday was the BIGGEST CRAVING for sweets. Wow. I rode it all night ... in Brooke Castillo terms, I allowed it and stayed curious. (You bet I added a couple of lines to the Urge List this morning.)
Not sure what it was about, but I'm not feeling recovered yet. Hubby is golfing today. I have a morning coaching call and mid-day dog walk with my grand-doggies. That't it. (I decided next week I'm back at rescue work. I feel better and I'm giving myself a minute to stay in that feeling.) Nothing much, home alone and feeling "off." Big guns are out and ready! This is going to be a tough day. (BWT -- Day 10 or 11 is the biggest quit day for W30, not me -- just saying for a friend - hah.)
As far as how I feel on Day 11 -- okay. Clothes are marginally more comfortable. Energy isn't stable yet. I had a headache last night and feel like I'm getting a cold. That could explain last night and this morning's "off" feeling. I actually wonder if it's allergies. Dogs are chewing paws like crazy and I noticed getting stuffed-up sitting outside ... hmmmmm. If only I knew a nurse LOL.
My 19 for 19 post is almost ready (I might finish it this morning). I need to proofread -- but why I bother, I'll never know. If I read a post a day later, it's almost a GIVEN that I find a mistake. Actually, finding only one is GOOD. Oh well. Sorry in advance for all future posts and typos. This morning has been particularly interesting. It's like Where's Waldo of typos ...
Speaking of reading ... wow, A Gentleman in Moscow. It's so so so so well written. This author is GOOD. I've heard of his other book, but can't remember right now (pre-coffee brain). I'll add that to my reading list. After I finish this book, I need to read the book club selection because it's coming up in a few weeks (also can't remember the name). Anyway, the point is THIS is a great book and even though I'm only a 1/3 finished, I give it a definite READ recommendation.
I've made progress on my list of 3 things to set in motion this week. I got another quote for the bench cushion and am "signing" for it today (originally quote was better). Electrician is coming next week -- 50/50 shot at getting the outlets because of electrician-blah-blah-blah. Hopefully, it can be done. Of course, anything can be done, but we won't do it if it involves cutting ceilings, etc. I texted the painter for the mirror and haven't heard back. I might need to get another name.
TREAT for today is Amazon package and I'm picking up dinner take-out since I'll be traveling to walk dogs -- good W30 option and something to look forward to in the evening.
TOOL for today is ALLOWING. Allow the feelings -- emotional feelings, craving feelings, bored feelings, sneeze-cold feelings. Whatever comes is FINE. Whatever comes does NOT require buffering. Just a vibration -- nothing more.
Happy Hump Day -- make it a good one. Later gators.
Tuesday, July 23, 2019
Working Week (pictures too)
I'm looking at this week as a SET- UP week. New perspective.
(Yep, still lamenting on my boring week.)
Since FUN is not knocking at the door and this SHOULD be a week that starts some Whole30 good feels, I decided to make it a working week.
I have a few things that I've be procrastinating. Some for decent reason and some because I'm being lazy. Time to work on those things.
Get stuff done.
Set-up for future goodness.
Electrician call to get some plugs added to closet and garage.
Inquiry to get the mirror painted.
Inquiry to get a bench cushion made (Etsy)
My future self will thank me (you're welcome).
I started 2 of the 3 yesterday and am going to have them in all moving by the end of the week.
Hubby and I planned a morning nature walk, but thunderstorms are messing that up. I ran outside yesterday (good call since I had no idea storms were coming today). I'm almost up to my usual 3 miles (2.65 yesterday) running -- I walked another 3 with the walking group. Today is arm day.
I found a TREAT yesterday -- a few actually. Amazon to the rescue. I have 2 lipsticks -- one in my purse and one in the bathroom (I use lip gloss more than lipstick). Neither is great and both are almost empty. Burt's Bees lipstick in a neutral. I also wanted a tank top for morning dog walking. Something basic with decent sun coverage. My workout tanks are so low in the back with cutouts, etc that I have to sunscreen everywhere. AND, I ordered a pair of lightweight cotton-ish fabric shorts. When I change in the evening to COMFORTABLE, I put on sweatpants -- way too hot. This is like a summer version of sweatpants shorts. If any of these are nice, I'll order another too. All were cheap and basic -- fingers crossed. The treat will be coming Wednesday -- yea, I'm oddly over excited about this.
I started looking on Pinterest for mother-of-the-groom dresses. We're going with tea or knee length -- awesome news. Here are a couple of styles that I liked that got a THUMBS UP from the DIL.
Once my clothes are back to fitting, I'm going to visit some of the local stores and see if there are options. If not, online for the win and I better get moving. Stay tuned ... we're only just begun chatting wedding stuff ...
I'm trying to hang the last of the pictures we already own (there are still a few non-picture wall things to hang too). I like these style and color wise, but can't decide if it makes the room too busy. We tried them on the wall to the right, but it left the room unbalanced.
Here's the bench that needs the cushion. Lots of fabric choices and styles. I have a quote, but need to pick the details. I'm planning piping -- no tuffs or buttons, etc because dogs might pull those. It'll be 2 cushions, but the fabric choice is hard. I leaning toward medium to dark gray.
Book update: I'm reading A Gentleman in Moscow and I can see why it's so enjoyed. It's going to take me a little bit to read it -- it's a book you read carefully. The writing is levels up from many books and the story is interesting, details funny. So far, it's great (I'm about 70 pages in).
TREAT for today is cleaning crew (although, it doesn't feel like a PERSONAL treat). Even so, that's the best I have for now. WAIT -- I remembered I want to download a new workout song. 80's all the way. Cheap Trick - The Flame. That's a good treat (used the tool below BTW - hah).
TOOL for today is looking for the small things -- the day is in the details.
Later gators.
(Yep, still lamenting on my boring week.)
Since FUN is not knocking at the door and this SHOULD be a week that starts some Whole30 good feels, I decided to make it a working week.
I have a few things that I've be procrastinating. Some for decent reason and some because I'm being lazy. Time to work on those things.
Get stuff done.
Set-up for future goodness.
Electrician call to get some plugs added to closet and garage.
Inquiry to get the mirror painted.
Inquiry to get a bench cushion made (Etsy)
My future self will thank me (you're welcome).
I started 2 of the 3 yesterday and am going to have them in all moving by the end of the week.
Hubby and I planned a morning nature walk, but thunderstorms are messing that up. I ran outside yesterday (good call since I had no idea storms were coming today). I'm almost up to my usual 3 miles (2.65 yesterday) running -- I walked another 3 with the walking group. Today is arm day.
I found a TREAT yesterday -- a few actually. Amazon to the rescue. I have 2 lipsticks -- one in my purse and one in the bathroom (I use lip gloss more than lipstick). Neither is great and both are almost empty. Burt's Bees lipstick in a neutral. I also wanted a tank top for morning dog walking. Something basic with decent sun coverage. My workout tanks are so low in the back with cutouts, etc that I have to sunscreen everywhere. AND, I ordered a pair of lightweight cotton-ish fabric shorts. When I change in the evening to COMFORTABLE, I put on sweatpants -- way too hot. This is like a summer version of sweatpants shorts. If any of these are nice, I'll order another too. All were cheap and basic -- fingers crossed. The treat will be coming Wednesday -- yea, I'm oddly over excited about this.
I started looking on Pinterest for mother-of-the-groom dresses. We're going with tea or knee length -- awesome news. Here are a couple of styles that I liked that got a THUMBS UP from the DIL.
 |
| My favorite -- I actually looked online for it, but it's no longer available. |
 |
| Next favorite - also couldn't find it. |
 |
| This is actually available, but the color choices are blue or black. I have my eye on it. I'd need to order and return if not good. I'd rather buy from a store. It's also my least favorite style and color. |
Once my clothes are back to fitting, I'm going to visit some of the local stores and see if there are options. If not, online for the win and I better get moving. Stay tuned ... we're only just begun chatting wedding stuff ...
I'm trying to hang the last of the pictures we already own (there are still a few non-picture wall things to hang too). I like these style and color wise, but can't decide if it makes the room too busy. We tried them on the wall to the right, but it left the room unbalanced.
Here's the bench that needs the cushion. Lots of fabric choices and styles. I have a quote, but need to pick the details. I'm planning piping -- no tuffs or buttons, etc because dogs might pull those. It'll be 2 cushions, but the fabric choice is hard. I leaning toward medium to dark gray.
Book update: I'm reading A Gentleman in Moscow and I can see why it's so enjoyed. It's going to take me a little bit to read it -- it's a book you read carefully. The writing is levels up from many books and the story is interesting, details funny. So far, it's great (I'm about 70 pages in).
TREAT for today is cleaning crew (although, it doesn't feel like a PERSONAL treat). Even so, that's the best I have for now. WAIT -- I remembered I want to download a new workout song. 80's all the way. Cheap Trick - The Flame. That's a good treat (used the tool below BTW - hah).
TOOL for today is looking for the small things -- the day is in the details.
Later gators.
Monday, July 22, 2019
Feels like a Monday
I'm working on a post updating the progress on my 19 for 19 list. It requires brain power that seems to NOT exist at the 5 am hour -- I'll finish it in the afternoons this week.
Speaking of 5 am -- it's still a mixed bag. I'm doing my natural wake-up around 4 o'clock and then am reluctant to fall back to sleep because I know how hard it is to wake up an hour later -- it's how my sleep rhythm works. Even laying (or is it lying??) in bed trying not to sleep makes it hard to get up. That said, it's super duper nice to have my morning quiet time and get the day started early. I committed to another week ... we'll see.
As far as the week ahead, I'm drawing that blank on TREATS to keep the week interesting. With all my ladies out of town, options are extra limited. We have a couple of contractor obligations that make hiking or anything outdoors a difficult option too (too dang hot later in the day). I'm at the ACCEPTING phase. This is going to be a blah week -- is that the end of the world (kind of - hah)?? I'll keep looking for MICRO treats each day -- maybe I'll get lucky.
This week SHOULD be the start of Whole30 magic -- maybe that's a treat. Feeling better, clothes fitting better, energy up. The days are dragging, but it's already Day 9. I also have my coaching call mid-week ... that's a treat on Wednesday. If I look hard enough, maybe the week isn't a bust after all.
P.S. Next week starts with the DENTIST -- well, crap.
I'm slowly "recovering" from my rescue dramas and heartbreak. The break feels necessary and I'll be back at it soon (at least the applications part). Listening to what I need is a tool that I forget ALL THE TIME. I feel guilty stepping back and feel weak "needing" a break -- but I shouldn't (or so I keep telling myself).
Tool for today is ACCEPTING, being PRESENT. Treat is TBD.
Happy Monday ... later gators.
______________________________________________________________
Quick note on the recipes from yesterday ...
Asparagus was easy and delicious -- I wouldn't salt it at all though. When the meat cooked down, it concentrated the salt -- it was too salty (even though I hardly salted the asparagus).
Shrimp stuffed mushrooms. I'd skip the mushroom part and make shrimp balls instead. The mushroom overpowered the flavor. I had left-over mix and I used the scoop to make "meatballs" and those were the favorite. Saves a lot of the work too. Also, I added soy sauce to dip -- I think I'd make a dumpling sauce next time.
Speaking of 5 am -- it's still a mixed bag. I'm doing my natural wake-up around 4 o'clock and then am reluctant to fall back to sleep because I know how hard it is to wake up an hour later -- it's how my sleep rhythm works. Even laying (or is it lying??) in bed trying not to sleep makes it hard to get up. That said, it's super duper nice to have my morning quiet time and get the day started early. I committed to another week ... we'll see.
As far as the week ahead, I'm drawing that blank on TREATS to keep the week interesting. With all my ladies out of town, options are extra limited. We have a couple of contractor obligations that make hiking or anything outdoors a difficult option too (too dang hot later in the day). I'm at the ACCEPTING phase. This is going to be a blah week -- is that the end of the world (kind of - hah)?? I'll keep looking for MICRO treats each day -- maybe I'll get lucky.
This week SHOULD be the start of Whole30 magic -- maybe that's a treat. Feeling better, clothes fitting better, energy up. The days are dragging, but it's already Day 9. I also have my coaching call mid-week ... that's a treat on Wednesday. If I look hard enough, maybe the week isn't a bust after all.
P.S. Next week starts with the DENTIST -- well, crap.
I'm slowly "recovering" from my rescue dramas and heartbreak. The break feels necessary and I'll be back at it soon (at least the applications part). Listening to what I need is a tool that I forget ALL THE TIME. I feel guilty stepping back and feel weak "needing" a break -- but I shouldn't (or so I keep telling myself).
Tool for today is ACCEPTING, being PRESENT. Treat is TBD.
Happy Monday ... later gators.
______________________________________________________________
Quick note on the recipes from yesterday ...
Asparagus was easy and delicious -- I wouldn't salt it at all though. When the meat cooked down, it concentrated the salt -- it was too salty (even though I hardly salted the asparagus).
Shrimp stuffed mushrooms. I'd skip the mushroom part and make shrimp balls instead. The mushroom overpowered the flavor. I had left-over mix and I used the scoop to make "meatballs" and those were the favorite. Saves a lot of the work too. Also, I added soy sauce to dip -- I think I'd make a dumpling sauce next time.
Sunday, July 21, 2019
New Recipes
Trying some new appetizers when the kids come over for dinner tonight. Whole 30. I have everything prepped and ready to cook. I needed something extra yummy for me to try so I'm not battling eating the other "fun" foods.
Here's what I'm trying ... the asparagus is not really a "recipe," but it sounds good. I prepped the mushrooms as she suggested so all I need to do is assemble and bake. And, these might be good options for our neighborhood gatherings.
Stuffed Mushrooms Nom Nom Paleo
Prosciutto Asparagus Spears Nom Nom Paleo
Yesterday ended up being a better day than I expected. The cooking was my TREAT and between grocery shopping and prepping for tonight's dinner, I kept busy.
Hubby and I had a long conversation about all the NEW in our lives and I think we are finally on the same page. That relieved tension and I'm more relaxed than I have been in awhile.
Of course, the relief of stress makes me want to celebrate too -- what emotion doesn't go with watermelon, wine and cheese - hah!!! Fortunately, COACHING tool held strong.
I still need to make a plan for the week ahead. It's too blah, but I'm drawing blanks.
Short and sweet today -- I want to get to my workout. TREAT is kids for dinner and EATING the new recipes LOL. TOOL is back to feeling the feelings. My emotions are all over the map and I need to allow them, accept them and be okay with not feeling emotionally awesome today (or this week).
Later gators.
Here's what I'm trying ... the asparagus is not really a "recipe," but it sounds good. I prepped the mushrooms as she suggested so all I need to do is assemble and bake. And, these might be good options for our neighborhood gatherings.
Stuffed Mushrooms Nom Nom Paleo
Prosciutto Asparagus Spears Nom Nom Paleo
Yesterday ended up being a better day than I expected. The cooking was my TREAT and between grocery shopping and prepping for tonight's dinner, I kept busy.
Hubby and I had a long conversation about all the NEW in our lives and I think we are finally on the same page. That relieved tension and I'm more relaxed than I have been in awhile.
Of course, the relief of stress makes me want to celebrate too -- what emotion doesn't go with watermelon, wine and cheese - hah!!! Fortunately, COACHING tool held strong.
I still need to make a plan for the week ahead. It's too blah, but I'm drawing blanks.
Short and sweet today -- I want to get to my workout. TREAT is kids for dinner and EATING the new recipes LOL. TOOL is back to feeling the feelings. My emotions are all over the map and I need to allow them, accept them and be okay with not feeling emotionally awesome today (or this week).
Later gators.
Saturday, July 20, 2019
Hello, again.
Today was a sleep-in day and it's a workout rest day.
I don't think I'm going match those days again. It's giving me the mental blahs. I have NOTHING fun on the calendar today. An entire day ahead of grocery shopping and prepping for a family dinner tomorrow (I cleaned yesterday).
This seems like a red-alert day. Cooking, bringing in "off-limit" foods, bored. Perfect storm of trouble.
I need to find a TREAT asap.
I'm at a loss. The treat doesn't need to be big, but I have nothing that's an option -- nothing that gives me that little feeling of "oh, that'll be fun." All that comes to mind is FOOD and WINE. Ut-oh.
Some of this mood comes from coffee with my friend yesterday. She has a huge social life and is heading for a week of FUN (actually, a summer of fun) -- and I'm envious. I want a week of fun, a week of vacation and good food and drinking wine and relaxing with great conversations.
My week ahead is dog walking, Whole30, contractors (fireplace logs install), chores -- nothing. It happens to be a week that my besties are out of town. My fun friends aren't around. I don't have ONE social thing on my calendar next week.
My solo fun list is not an option either. Nails are done, can't do a massage (contractor on the day April works), shopping doesn't work until my clothes fit better.
I'm even in a podcast slump. Summer?? Lots of re-airings and or podcasts that are more a sales pitch than a lesson.
This is a challenge. I need to PROBLEM-SOLVE the crap out of it or I'm in for a rough week. Stay tuned ...
Oh, my tool is COACHING. This is the only thing that's keeping me on track this weekend -- accountability.
Later gators.
I don't think I'm going match those days again. It's giving me the mental blahs. I have NOTHING fun on the calendar today. An entire day ahead of grocery shopping and prepping for a family dinner tomorrow (I cleaned yesterday).
This seems like a red-alert day. Cooking, bringing in "off-limit" foods, bored. Perfect storm of trouble.
I need to find a TREAT asap.
I'm at a loss. The treat doesn't need to be big, but I have nothing that's an option -- nothing that gives me that little feeling of "oh, that'll be fun." All that comes to mind is FOOD and WINE. Ut-oh.
Some of this mood comes from coffee with my friend yesterday. She has a huge social life and is heading for a week of FUN (actually, a summer of fun) -- and I'm envious. I want a week of fun, a week of vacation and good food and drinking wine and relaxing with great conversations.
My week ahead is dog walking, Whole30, contractors (fireplace logs install), chores -- nothing. It happens to be a week that my besties are out of town. My fun friends aren't around. I don't have ONE social thing on my calendar next week.
My solo fun list is not an option either. Nails are done, can't do a massage (contractor on the day April works), shopping doesn't work until my clothes fit better.
I'm even in a podcast slump. Summer?? Lots of re-airings and or podcasts that are more a sales pitch than a lesson.
This is a challenge. I need to PROBLEM-SOLVE the crap out of it or I'm in for a rough week. Stay tuned ...
Oh, my tool is COACHING. This is the only thing that's keeping me on track this weekend -- accountability.
Later gators.
Things That Help
Ahhhh .... TOOLS. Yep, still talking about it.
It's like I took an amnesia pill and forgot what I learned last year. Things got hard and I threw the toolbox in the river.
Remember when I was overwhelmed and I started turning off my phone for a couple of hours (she says to herself)? Started doing that again. Feels fantastic.
Taking a break from looking at Facebook is working for me too. My page is almost exclusively dog stuff (because I've "unfollowed" so many peeps - hah). Since the rescue world feels hard right now, I'm stepping back as much as I can until it feels better. Seeing shelter posts, dogs in need, etc. is bringing me down. Need to fill the mental tank before I can take that on again.
WORTH IT. An oldie, but goodie. Not necessarily in regard to food ... it works for almost everything. Does doing *this* bring me satisfaction, good feels, etc.? What if I don't do it? Do I have to do it? All the questions. When I stop and listen to what I want, my day is much better. It's like PROBLEM-SOLVING (goes hand-in-hand), I do this with big stuff, but the everyday little things are a challenge.
Why? Because I tell myself the color of my toe nails doesn't REALLY matter. And, that's true. But, conversely, why shouldn't I have the color that makes me happy -- a little bit of happy. This happened at my nail appointment. I couldn't find the color I was looking for and Jesse was ready for me early. I settled for a nice color, but it was a winter look. I sat talking myself into it because I was already in the chair and didn't want to make a fuss. Then I remembered -- little things CAN matter. It was WORTH IT to ask Jesse to find me the color I couldn't. She found it super easily - PROBLEM SOLVED. Happy toes and it was WORTH opening my mouth and speaking up.
I get a double boost when I see my toes -- happy color and happy I did make myself a priority. It IS a super SMALL thing, but I've come to realize that small matters to ME. Little things add up during a day. Speaking up sent a message to me that I value myself. I know this seems trivial, but when I send small messages (good or bad) to myself all day long, the SUM is bigger than the parts. It matters. I've been sending the wrong message for the last couple of months.
Something that is also helping is building ROUTINES. From my morning routine to grocery shopping to cleaning. I like routine. Flexibility counts, but on the whole, routine makes my life smoother, less stressful with fewer decisions. My usual routines went out the window after the move and having hubby home with me. It's not WHAT the routine looks like ... it's that it IS a routine. Of course, I want them to be catered to what works for me (i.e. morning person, etc), but they are different than they were 5 months ago. That's okay.
I couldn't understand why I didn't get myself to Costco -- kept running out of the things I buy there. I only go every couple of weeks and the NEW Costco is close to me AND I like it better. So what's the issue? Then I remembered, I went to Costco after a morning boxing class (not every time, but if I went, it was after the class that was just around the corner). No more boxing class = no more trips to Costco.
That's when I made the ROUTINE connection. I had a Costco routine. When I looked at my day-to-day, I was surprised at how often I built a routine (and didn't even realize it). That's why life FEELS so chaotic -- no routines, no pre-made decisions -- everything was a thought and a decision and it's mentally exhausting and all over the map.
First step is building my morning routine to fit my NEW NORMAL. I don't have the answer for the rest yet, but I'm aware and trying to find patterns that will help.
Lots of rambles. I wanted to write it out because, apparently, I like to forget this stuff -- over and over. Good grief. When will it stick for good?
It's like I took an amnesia pill and forgot what I learned last year. Things got hard and I threw the toolbox in the river.
Remember when I was overwhelmed and I started turning off my phone for a couple of hours (she says to herself)? Started doing that again. Feels fantastic.
Taking a break from looking at Facebook is working for me too. My page is almost exclusively dog stuff (because I've "unfollowed" so many peeps - hah). Since the rescue world feels hard right now, I'm stepping back as much as I can until it feels better. Seeing shelter posts, dogs in need, etc. is bringing me down. Need to fill the mental tank before I can take that on again.
WORTH IT. An oldie, but goodie. Not necessarily in regard to food ... it works for almost everything. Does doing *this* bring me satisfaction, good feels, etc.? What if I don't do it? Do I have to do it? All the questions. When I stop and listen to what I want, my day is much better. It's like PROBLEM-SOLVING (goes hand-in-hand), I do this with big stuff, but the everyday little things are a challenge.
Why? Because I tell myself the color of my toe nails doesn't REALLY matter. And, that's true. But, conversely, why shouldn't I have the color that makes me happy -- a little bit of happy. This happened at my nail appointment. I couldn't find the color I was looking for and Jesse was ready for me early. I settled for a nice color, but it was a winter look. I sat talking myself into it because I was already in the chair and didn't want to make a fuss. Then I remembered -- little things CAN matter. It was WORTH IT to ask Jesse to find me the color I couldn't. She found it super easily - PROBLEM SOLVED. Happy toes and it was WORTH opening my mouth and speaking up.
I get a double boost when I see my toes -- happy color and happy I did make myself a priority. It IS a super SMALL thing, but I've come to realize that small matters to ME. Little things add up during a day. Speaking up sent a message to me that I value myself. I know this seems trivial, but when I send small messages (good or bad) to myself all day long, the SUM is bigger than the parts. It matters. I've been sending the wrong message for the last couple of months.
Something that is also helping is building ROUTINES. From my morning routine to grocery shopping to cleaning. I like routine. Flexibility counts, but on the whole, routine makes my life smoother, less stressful with fewer decisions. My usual routines went out the window after the move and having hubby home with me. It's not WHAT the routine looks like ... it's that it IS a routine. Of course, I want them to be catered to what works for me (i.e. morning person, etc), but they are different than they were 5 months ago. That's okay.
I couldn't understand why I didn't get myself to Costco -- kept running out of the things I buy there. I only go every couple of weeks and the NEW Costco is close to me AND I like it better. So what's the issue? Then I remembered, I went to Costco after a morning boxing class (not every time, but if I went, it was after the class that was just around the corner). No more boxing class = no more trips to Costco.
That's when I made the ROUTINE connection. I had a Costco routine. When I looked at my day-to-day, I was surprised at how often I built a routine (and didn't even realize it). That's why life FEELS so chaotic -- no routines, no pre-made decisions -- everything was a thought and a decision and it's mentally exhausting and all over the map.
First step is building my morning routine to fit my NEW NORMAL. I don't have the answer for the rest yet, but I'm aware and trying to find patterns that will help.
Lots of rambles. I wanted to write it out because, apparently, I like to forget this stuff -- over and over. Good grief. When will it stick for good?
Friday, July 19, 2019
Coaching
Here it is ... the FUN part of my coaching session.
After we talked about where I was right now ... and what had happened ... and why I feel the way I feel ... Holly suggested I take the Myers-Briggs personality test. She finds it gives good insight into what makes us tick and from that knowledge we can better understand how to grow. Also, it's a test that she feels you can't easily twist by answering in the way you THINK you should answer.
Myers-Briggs
This is one that she recommended and I took it (free, of course).
Drumroll ...
DEFENDER
I S F J - T
It's quick and VERY interesting to read! It gives pages of details about your type. I'm headed down a google rabbit-hole to find out more. It's fun and seems oddly accurate. The picture of a Defender is a nurse -- got that right.
You can google what the letters mean. I = introvert vs E = extravert (yin and yang for each letter)
She suggested I have hubby take it too -- kind of interesting to see the couple dynamic. I think I'll wait until I'm in a better headspace before I go this route. I can see him not agreeing with my assessment and I don't want to hear that right now. I'm curious to see his results though.
_______________________________________________________________________
The other helpful tidbit from coaching was NOT going to the place where I beat myself up for having to do another Whole30 (with coaching to boot). She kind of read my mind on that -- I said that I thought I might not have to do another one after all the "head" coaching last year. It was exactly how I felt -- how could I be back here again?!?
I mentioned that I was on the fence about an actual Whole30 vs back-to-normal-eating with coaching.
It's been a whirlwind of a year so far and it threw me off my game. No shame in using the tools I know work for me to get back at it. Says Holly (and now, me too).
She reinforced what I was resisting. Rules (for my personality) will give me structure when other areas are squishy.
_______________________________________________________________________
So how's the Whole30 going?
As expected. Hitting the usual marks of the first week. Lower energy, big time water thirst, deep sleep, cravings. I can feel a little change in the way my clothes fit (water weight).
P.S. I'm not less tired in the morning. I wrote the first part of this post yesterday because I knew my brain would be in waking-up-mode still. Getting up early has been an unexpected challenge.
The first week I'm more laidback about WHAT I eat. I don't care if I have green beans with all meals or bigger portions or extra fat portions. I eat what sounds good. As I get through the cravings, I start focusing on vegetable variety, portion control, leaner meats, etc. ... for most of my meals.
_______________________________________________________________________
As far as today ...
Dinner out with another couple got canceled because they have unexpected company. I'm meeting this friend for coffee this afternoon while all the men golf. That's a big win (although I was looking forward to trying a new restaurant). Coffee with great conversation VS dinner (no wine) and polite conversation with an uncle I don't know. Technically, I'm the one who canceled, but I think we had a polite back-and-forth to the conclusion we BOTH wanted. Raincheck on the new restaurant.
Coffee is my TREAT today. Being PRESENT is my TOOL. It's otherwise a blah day, but staying in the moment, noticing small things, can take blah to better. Busy days make me want to turn to food, but boring days do the same thing (sometimes even more so).
I finished the book, I'm Fine and Neither Are You -- Camille Pagan. I see why Melissa Urban recommended it -- up her alley, totally. It was short, fast and had interesting themes about relationships. Friends, spouse, kids, yourself. It would make a good bookclub read. Lots of juicy topics to discuss. Even though it was short, the characters didn't follow stereotypes and had surprisingly complex dynamics. (That sentence sounds like a book review - hah). Anyway, I'd say it's worth the read and the cheap price!
Picking a new book tonight ... guess that's TREAT #2 today.
Happy Weekend :) Day 6. (I wish I could say it's flying, but it's not - hah.) Later gators.
After we talked about where I was right now ... and what had happened ... and why I feel the way I feel ... Holly suggested I take the Myers-Briggs personality test. She finds it gives good insight into what makes us tick and from that knowledge we can better understand how to grow. Also, it's a test that she feels you can't easily twist by answering in the way you THINK you should answer.
Myers-Briggs
This is one that she recommended and I took it (free, of course).
Drumroll ...
DEFENDER
I S F J - T
It's quick and VERY interesting to read! It gives pages of details about your type. I'm headed down a google rabbit-hole to find out more. It's fun and seems oddly accurate. The picture of a Defender is a nurse -- got that right.
You can google what the letters mean. I = introvert vs E = extravert (yin and yang for each letter)
She suggested I have hubby take it too -- kind of interesting to see the couple dynamic. I think I'll wait until I'm in a better headspace before I go this route. I can see him not agreeing with my assessment and I don't want to hear that right now. I'm curious to see his results though.
_______________________________________________________________________
The other helpful tidbit from coaching was NOT going to the place where I beat myself up for having to do another Whole30 (with coaching to boot). She kind of read my mind on that -- I said that I thought I might not have to do another one after all the "head" coaching last year. It was exactly how I felt -- how could I be back here again?!?
I mentioned that I was on the fence about an actual Whole30 vs back-to-normal-eating with coaching.
It's been a whirlwind of a year so far and it threw me off my game. No shame in using the tools I know work for me to get back at it. Says Holly (and now, me too).
She reinforced what I was resisting. Rules (for my personality) will give me structure when other areas are squishy.
_______________________________________________________________________
So how's the Whole30 going?
As expected. Hitting the usual marks of the first week. Lower energy, big time water thirst, deep sleep, cravings. I can feel a little change in the way my clothes fit (water weight).
P.S. I'm not less tired in the morning. I wrote the first part of this post yesterday because I knew my brain would be in waking-up-mode still. Getting up early has been an unexpected challenge.
The first week I'm more laidback about WHAT I eat. I don't care if I have green beans with all meals or bigger portions or extra fat portions. I eat what sounds good. As I get through the cravings, I start focusing on vegetable variety, portion control, leaner meats, etc. ... for most of my meals.
_______________________________________________________________________
As far as today ...
Dinner out with another couple got canceled because they have unexpected company. I'm meeting this friend for coffee this afternoon while all the men golf. That's a big win (although I was looking forward to trying a new restaurant). Coffee with great conversation VS dinner (no wine) and polite conversation with an uncle I don't know. Technically, I'm the one who canceled, but I think we had a polite back-and-forth to the conclusion we BOTH wanted. Raincheck on the new restaurant.
Coffee is my TREAT today. Being PRESENT is my TOOL. It's otherwise a blah day, but staying in the moment, noticing small things, can take blah to better. Busy days make me want to turn to food, but boring days do the same thing (sometimes even more so).
I finished the book, I'm Fine and Neither Are You -- Camille Pagan. I see why Melissa Urban recommended it -- up her alley, totally. It was short, fast and had interesting themes about relationships. Friends, spouse, kids, yourself. It would make a good bookclub read. Lots of juicy topics to discuss. Even though it was short, the characters didn't follow stereotypes and had surprisingly complex dynamics. (That sentence sounds like a book review - hah). Anyway, I'd say it's worth the read and the cheap price!
Picking a new book tonight ... guess that's TREAT #2 today.
Happy Weekend :) Day 6. (I wish I could say it's flying, but it's not - hah.) Later gators.
Thursday, July 18, 2019
It's ONLY Thursday?
This week is long ... anyone else feel it too?
I'm having the Whole30 energy drop BIG TIME. Watermelon-gate 2019 was not without consequences. Goodbye PURE sugar taxing through my veins.
I followed the tools & treats like a champ yesterday (can you tell I like "tools & treats" -- prepare for at least a week more until I get sick of it or forget about it - hah). Treat was brunch with hubby and the youngest. Hubby and I ran errands and then I got a lot off my to-do list at home.
Tool was to feel my feelings and I had a lot yesterday. I've been having problems with a creep foster applicant who I declined -- that reared it's ugly head and I had an evening of ugliness. BUT, I accepted my feelings and sleep (and blocked number) cured most of it (unless he bugs on me again today). I need a step-back from rescue for a minute. Nothing about it feels good right now. I had to contact Ziggy applicants too. They all assumed he had a great adoption (I was purposely vague) and the responses made me sad for him again.
Anyhoo...
Today my TREAT is a pedicure. I had one relatively recently, but my nails are too long and that's not going to work. I'm going for a deep pink or light red -- you know that color. Can't really tell if it's red or pink -- especially way down there on the toes. I forgot that I shouldn't shave my legs today and I was 2 days deep with a no-shave. I got up at 5 and did a very light shave (if there's such a thing). Hoping my legs aren't irritated by the massage.
My TOOL is PROBLEM SOLVING. I can make this day be awesome -- my choice. I can fix, change, adapt to what happens. I noticed that I've been playing the victim of the universe recently. "I didn't shave -- my pedicure is ruined." No, lots of solutions. I forget to use that tool for the LITTLE, lame things. I fix the big problems, but act helpless with the little stuff. I have some things on my list that need a little FIX -- today, I'm problem solving them.
Getting up early is a curse and a blessing. I love the routine that's back. I love walking dogs before the sun is really up (Atlanta is right next to central time -- sun takes a minute to come up). But, I've been tired (hoping that will go away next week) and it makes for a long day (aka I wish for a nap by noon). I was going to try it for one week, but since I'm having energy issues, I think I'll extend for 2 weeks until I decide whether to keep it up. Only weekdays. Weekends are up for grabs.
I'm taking it easy on the workout and cooking front this week too. Not pushing workouts too hard or long and taking some shortcuts with meals (i.e. take out). Both related to energy and allowing "good enough" as I'm building up a new normal.
Have a great day -- later gators.
I'm having the Whole30 energy drop BIG TIME. Watermelon-gate 2019 was not without consequences. Goodbye PURE sugar taxing through my veins.
I followed the tools & treats like a champ yesterday (can you tell I like "tools & treats" -- prepare for at least a week more until I get sick of it or forget about it - hah). Treat was brunch with hubby and the youngest. Hubby and I ran errands and then I got a lot off my to-do list at home.
Tool was to feel my feelings and I had a lot yesterday. I've been having problems with a creep foster applicant who I declined -- that reared it's ugly head and I had an evening of ugliness. BUT, I accepted my feelings and sleep (and blocked number) cured most of it (unless he bugs on me again today). I need a step-back from rescue for a minute. Nothing about it feels good right now. I had to contact Ziggy applicants too. They all assumed he had a great adoption (I was purposely vague) and the responses made me sad for him again.
Anyhoo...
Today my TREAT is a pedicure. I had one relatively recently, but my nails are too long and that's not going to work. I'm going for a deep pink or light red -- you know that color. Can't really tell if it's red or pink -- especially way down there on the toes. I forgot that I shouldn't shave my legs today and I was 2 days deep with a no-shave. I got up at 5 and did a very light shave (if there's such a thing). Hoping my legs aren't irritated by the massage.
My TOOL is PROBLEM SOLVING. I can make this day be awesome -- my choice. I can fix, change, adapt to what happens. I noticed that I've been playing the victim of the universe recently. "I didn't shave -- my pedicure is ruined." No, lots of solutions. I forget to use that tool for the LITTLE, lame things. I fix the big problems, but act helpless with the little stuff. I have some things on my list that need a little FIX -- today, I'm problem solving them.
Getting up early is a curse and a blessing. I love the routine that's back. I love walking dogs before the sun is really up (Atlanta is right next to central time -- sun takes a minute to come up). But, I've been tired (hoping that will go away next week) and it makes for a long day (aka I wish for a nap by noon). I was going to try it for one week, but since I'm having energy issues, I think I'll extend for 2 weeks until I decide whether to keep it up. Only weekdays. Weekends are up for grabs.
I'm taking it easy on the workout and cooking front this week too. Not pushing workouts too hard or long and taking some shortcuts with meals (i.e. take out). Both related to energy and allowing "good enough" as I'm building up a new normal.
Have a great day -- later gators.
Wednesday, July 17, 2019
All Sorts of Updates
Ziggy is in process to head to a trainer in NYC. It was a LONG, emotional day and my heart still hurts for him. I didn't get home until 4 o'clock (I left just after 8 am). Nothing went smoothly, but in the end we both made it.
I took my coaching call in a parking lot in the car. Not bad actually. The trick was not driving so I could completely concentrate. Sitting in the car felt fine. I got a late, late lunch so I got something bigger and called it dinner too. Errands moved to today -- I needed to get home to my dogs.
I did a partial run outside yesterday. A little over 2 miles. I didn't push the distance because of the long car ride AND because I was DYING! Wow -- my cardio fitness is down from my less-than workouts (back and neck problems) and Whole30 (this always happens). Heart rate was HIGH, breathing was deep and every muscle said STOP. I'm glad I did it though. I was stiff in the car and a bit this morning, but not as much as I expected.
Today, my TREAT is lunch with my youngest. I gave him a few choices of restaurants that I can easily eat W30-enough (I don't care about the micro-stuff when I eat out).
Not much to report on PODCAST learning. Nothing overly inspiring and I only listened to a couple. I wasn't in the mood to think -- it was a yucky day. I listened to Melissa Urban talk about her "sobriety" experiment ... "I'm not drinking right now." It's what I've heard her say before. (P.S. I don't love the use of "sobriety" when it refers to not having a glass of wine. Sobriety, to me, is the opposite of drunk, not the opposite of not having one drink. I guess the societal definition is changing, but I'm old school on this currently. Not that the WORD matters, really.)
Coaching was GREAT. I wondered what she could bring to the table in the first session -- but she brought it. The first part of the conversation was catch-up ... what, where, how, why. That kind of thing. She listened, interpreted, suggested and I'm so happy I decided to be coached. This is going to be a cliff-hanger, though, because I'm too mentally spent to write it out (I think this is Whole30, 1st week energy drop). I'm going to do an entire post on it this week once I do the stuff she suggested. Yep, cliff hanger ... stay tuned ...
My 3 pouches came in the mail yesterday - wow, Amazon, that was extra fast. Don't love them, don't hate them. They'll serve the purpose, but not as nice as the influencer suggested. Still, a pouch is a pouch and you can never have too many.
My TOOL for today is allowing my feelings. I have remnants of yesterday lingering and I don't want to eat those feeling or push them down. Rescue is all the THINGS ... awesome, heartbreaking, hard, fun, rewarding. This week it's been heavy on the heartbreaking and hard. I'm taking a mental break which includes low Facebook usage (my feed is all dog -- most of the time). Regrouping.
I'm concentrating on ME the rest of the week. I need a bucket refill. I have a to-do list that snuck up on me, but I have time the next few days to get it done.
I also want to update on my 19 for 19 list (once I'm clearer headed). This is the Gretchen Rubin thing. I've been doing it, some accomplished, some I best get moving on ... I'll share the list again soon.
P.S. I chose the book Melissa Urban recommended. So far, it's good. She says it gets better and better and although it reads kind of simply, you'll get some big feels by the end. Fantastic! I'm Fine and Neither Are You -- Camille Pagan.
Hump day already. Later gators.
I took my coaching call in a parking lot in the car. Not bad actually. The trick was not driving so I could completely concentrate. Sitting in the car felt fine. I got a late, late lunch so I got something bigger and called it dinner too. Errands moved to today -- I needed to get home to my dogs.
I did a partial run outside yesterday. A little over 2 miles. I didn't push the distance because of the long car ride AND because I was DYING! Wow -- my cardio fitness is down from my less-than workouts (back and neck problems) and Whole30 (this always happens). Heart rate was HIGH, breathing was deep and every muscle said STOP. I'm glad I did it though. I was stiff in the car and a bit this morning, but not as much as I expected.
Today, my TREAT is lunch with my youngest. I gave him a few choices of restaurants that I can easily eat W30-enough (I don't care about the micro-stuff when I eat out).
Not much to report on PODCAST learning. Nothing overly inspiring and I only listened to a couple. I wasn't in the mood to think -- it was a yucky day. I listened to Melissa Urban talk about her "sobriety" experiment ... "I'm not drinking right now." It's what I've heard her say before. (P.S. I don't love the use of "sobriety" when it refers to not having a glass of wine. Sobriety, to me, is the opposite of drunk, not the opposite of not having one drink. I guess the societal definition is changing, but I'm old school on this currently. Not that the WORD matters, really.)
Coaching was GREAT. I wondered what she could bring to the table in the first session -- but she brought it. The first part of the conversation was catch-up ... what, where, how, why. That kind of thing. She listened, interpreted, suggested and I'm so happy I decided to be coached. This is going to be a cliff-hanger, though, because I'm too mentally spent to write it out (I think this is Whole30, 1st week energy drop). I'm going to do an entire post on it this week once I do the stuff she suggested. Yep, cliff hanger ... stay tuned ...
My 3 pouches came in the mail yesterday - wow, Amazon, that was extra fast. Don't love them, don't hate them. They'll serve the purpose, but not as nice as the influencer suggested. Still, a pouch is a pouch and you can never have too many.
My TOOL for today is allowing my feelings. I have remnants of yesterday lingering and I don't want to eat those feeling or push them down. Rescue is all the THINGS ... awesome, heartbreaking, hard, fun, rewarding. This week it's been heavy on the heartbreaking and hard. I'm taking a mental break which includes low Facebook usage (my feed is all dog -- most of the time). Regrouping.
I'm concentrating on ME the rest of the week. I need a bucket refill. I have a to-do list that snuck up on me, but I have time the next few days to get it done.
I also want to update on my 19 for 19 list (once I'm clearer headed). This is the Gretchen Rubin thing. I've been doing it, some accomplished, some I best get moving on ... I'll share the list again soon.
P.S. I chose the book Melissa Urban recommended. So far, it's good. She says it gets better and better and although it reads kind of simply, you'll get some big feels by the end. Fantastic! I'm Fine and Neither Are You -- Camille Pagan.
Hump day already. Later gators.
Tuesday, July 16, 2019
What a Day
Ziggy is heading to a specialized rescue that deals with unpredictable aggression. After a great dog day with nature walks, car rides, belly rubs -- Ziggy went crazy standing in the kitchen. Biting, snarling, snaring, snapping, chasing me. I had to leave the room because he was not letting up with the aggression.
Remember how I asked the Universe to take over Ziggy? Guess this was the answer for this little man with some hard problems. 4 hours of driving ahead of me today. Releash does not mess with that situation (for fosters or adopters).
((BTW ... Hubby and I are on the same page with fostering right now. A longer break is happening and we are going back to little littles -- under 15 lbs.))
AND ... my grand-doggie has scared off the dog walker so I have to go let her out after I take care of Ziggy. (Hubby is golfing ... hmmmm.)
Guess what's getting messed up? My first coaching call -- ugh! I'll take the call on the phone instead of Zoom video. Breathe.
After the drama last night, I wanted WINE in the worst way. I was cursing Whole30 and my decision -- why did I start early?? But, of course, I was better off not being in a wine coma today.
A lot of not-so-good feelings today.
I'm sad for Ziggy (even though he's going to the right place for him, it's going to be a hard transition and he's been through so much).
I'm annoyed that I had ONLY ONE 30 minute thing on my schedule this week and I can't make it happen smoothly.
I'm annoyed to drive 4 hours today.
I'm worried Ziggy will bite me durning multiple transports.
I'm annoyed that ALL of this today and I have no help (instead, I'm doing extra helping for other people).
My TOOL today MUST be doing the Brooke Castillo turn-arounds. Here it is ...
I'm grateful Ziggy will get trained and adopted to someone who can handle his issues (he's going to a NY rescue/trainer). I can ask for help from the trainers and vet techs if he's being ugly on transport.
I GET to listen to lots of podcasts today.
I GET to visit with my grand-dogies while I'm on my conference call.
I'll be right next to all my favorite shopping, so I can hit Costco and Target for a few things I need (including a tank of gas!!) after I walk the grand-dogs.
I'm able to do Whole30 even when life is squishy (life seems to always be squishy - so I need to hang on).
Since I'm near a restaurant with W30 options -- I'm getting a late lunch and probably dinner take-out too. Why?? TREATS is why!! AND I totally 100% can give myself a (cooking) break today. Dang, I've earned some grace and an easy dinner - right??
I didn't get to start a new book last night, so that's still on my fun list. My girlfriend had to cancel our plans tomorrow so I have a free day. I think a FUN, BIG treat should be on the agenda. I'll have lots of time to thing about it today.
We found a great nature walk (path for bikes, runners, dogs, etc). It has tons of shade and goes for miles and miles (like serious miles ... spans multiple towns). It's wide and paved and NATURE is everywhere. HUGE, colorful snakes ... enormous snapping turtles ... noisy frogs ... fish. It's along Big Creek. My butt is totally following the rules ... "stay on the paved path." It was a great option for the dogs and me (paved works when NATURE is in full force).
I'm up early again this morning (which is harder than yesterday because I was up LATE handling Ziggy situation). I planned a run outside, but I might hit the treadmill instead. I have to be in the car a long time today and I know I'll be super stiff from an outside run. Maybe not the best day to get back to it. Still thinking ... I was mentally set for outside. If I don't, it has to wait until at least Thursday to try again.
Amazon Prime day. I ordered 2 things. A new mattress pad for our bed ($27) -- it's shredding it's so old and a 3 pack of zipper pouches ($12). I can never have too many little bags. A couple of mine had to be tossed from wear-n-tear so I was down a couple of sizes.
Today is an unexpected, hard day, but I feel like relief is in sight. I'm working a new routine, starting the coaching, Whole30 goodness is around the corner, taking a foster break. Life should get significantly MORE ABOUT ME soon - hah.
Tomorrow's post, you ask? Podcast and coaching call recap. I should have lots of outside inspiration to report. Later gators.
Remember how I asked the Universe to take over Ziggy? Guess this was the answer for this little man with some hard problems. 4 hours of driving ahead of me today. Releash does not mess with that situation (for fosters or adopters).
((BTW ... Hubby and I are on the same page with fostering right now. A longer break is happening and we are going back to little littles -- under 15 lbs.))
AND ... my grand-doggie has scared off the dog walker so I have to go let her out after I take care of Ziggy. (Hubby is golfing ... hmmmm.)
Guess what's getting messed up? My first coaching call -- ugh! I'll take the call on the phone instead of Zoom video. Breathe.
After the drama last night, I wanted WINE in the worst way. I was cursing Whole30 and my decision -- why did I start early?? But, of course, I was better off not being in a wine coma today.
A lot of not-so-good feelings today.
I'm sad for Ziggy (even though he's going to the right place for him, it's going to be a hard transition and he's been through so much).
I'm annoyed that I had ONLY ONE 30 minute thing on my schedule this week and I can't make it happen smoothly.
I'm annoyed to drive 4 hours today.
I'm worried Ziggy will bite me durning multiple transports.
I'm annoyed that ALL of this today and I have no help (instead, I'm doing extra helping for other people).
My TOOL today MUST be doing the Brooke Castillo turn-arounds. Here it is ...
I'm grateful Ziggy will get trained and adopted to someone who can handle his issues (he's going to a NY rescue/trainer). I can ask for help from the trainers and vet techs if he's being ugly on transport.
I GET to listen to lots of podcasts today.
I GET to visit with my grand-dogies while I'm on my conference call.
I'll be right next to all my favorite shopping, so I can hit Costco and Target for a few things I need (including a tank of gas!!) after I walk the grand-dogs.
I'm able to do Whole30 even when life is squishy (life seems to always be squishy - so I need to hang on).
Since I'm near a restaurant with W30 options -- I'm getting a late lunch and probably dinner take-out too. Why?? TREATS is why!! AND I totally 100% can give myself a (cooking) break today. Dang, I've earned some grace and an easy dinner - right??
I didn't get to start a new book last night, so that's still on my fun list. My girlfriend had to cancel our plans tomorrow so I have a free day. I think a FUN, BIG treat should be on the agenda. I'll have lots of time to thing about it today.
We found a great nature walk (path for bikes, runners, dogs, etc). It has tons of shade and goes for miles and miles (like serious miles ... spans multiple towns). It's wide and paved and NATURE is everywhere. HUGE, colorful snakes ... enormous snapping turtles ... noisy frogs ... fish. It's along Big Creek. My butt is totally following the rules ... "stay on the paved path." It was a great option for the dogs and me (paved works when NATURE is in full force).
I'm up early again this morning (which is harder than yesterday because I was up LATE handling Ziggy situation). I planned a run outside, but I might hit the treadmill instead. I have to be in the car a long time today and I know I'll be super stiff from an outside run. Maybe not the best day to get back to it. Still thinking ... I was mentally set for outside. If I don't, it has to wait until at least Thursday to try again.
Amazon Prime day. I ordered 2 things. A new mattress pad for our bed ($27) -- it's shredding it's so old and a 3 pack of zipper pouches ($12). I can never have too many little bags. A couple of mine had to be tossed from wear-n-tear so I was down a couple of sizes.
Today is an unexpected, hard day, but I feel like relief is in sight. I'm working a new routine, starting the coaching, Whole30 goodness is around the corner, taking a foster break. Life should get significantly MORE ABOUT ME soon - hah.
Tomorrow's post, you ask? Podcast and coaching call recap. I should have lots of outside inspiration to report. Later gators.
Monday, July 15, 2019
New Routine
I'm blurry-eyed and tired, but coming to you from my office at the 5 AM HOUR of the morning.
It's been months since I've been up this early with NOTHING on the calendar. No reason to get up EXCEPT for ME.
At first, no way. I woke 3 minutes before the alarm and contemplated staying in bed. I've "thought" about going back to bed no less than 10 times. But I made a promise to myself try to build a new routine and this is my first attempt. We'll see where this takes me.
(Also, once Whole30 kicks in, I tend to wake up quickly and earlier ... here's hoping ...)
Whole30 was a mixed bag yesterday. I was excited to start, felt strong and hopeful. That lasted until lunch -- then I wanted EVERYTHING again. Oh boy. I held on, but this is going to be a tough one. Usually, the honeymoon lasts a couple of days, not hours. 30 days feels LONG from this vantage point.
Ziggy is going to have a trial this week once his hot spots heal a little (they're bad -- maybe overnight is some relief -- might be a vet visit). I don't expect it to be an adoption, but I have to try. (I don't expect, because this is a great home for a dog and I don't know that they "need" to work with a dog to be able to adopt a dog -- does that make sense?) It'll be more learning about him at any rate. I hate to put the little guy through it again though. (Of course, I'm totally heart aching for him.)
TOOL for today is about Ziggy. This is some WOO WOO stuff, but it worked last time I did it. Ask and It Is Given -- Esther and Jerry Hicks is some off the wall stuff. Using the Placemat Technique, write things on the left you intend to do and things on the right you'd like the Universe to handle. Ziggy is on the right. The idea is you feel relief "turning over" the task, relief brings a better vibration and the solution comes without you resisting it. If all it does is make me feel better, it's worth the minute to do it.
I finished a book last night, Reconstructing Amelia -- Kimberly McCreight. I liked her writing style and the story was interesting enough, even the ending was okay. But what happened wasn't believable though. That many people had things to hide? That many people gave this mother a hard time? That many people were inept at their jobs? If she scaled that down a little, I think the book would work.
Anyway ... I get a new pick tonight. I guess that's my TREAT today. Three to choose from ... game night decision.
P.S. I still want to go back to bed, but "working" in my office before the sun is up feels good. Quiet, peaceful, MY time of day.
Happy Monday -- Day 2. Later gators.
It's been months since I've been up this early with NOTHING on the calendar. No reason to get up EXCEPT for ME.
At first, no way. I woke 3 minutes before the alarm and contemplated staying in bed. I've "thought" about going back to bed no less than 10 times. But I made a promise to myself try to build a new routine and this is my first attempt. We'll see where this takes me.
(Also, once Whole30 kicks in, I tend to wake up quickly and earlier ... here's hoping ...)
Whole30 was a mixed bag yesterday. I was excited to start, felt strong and hopeful. That lasted until lunch -- then I wanted EVERYTHING again. Oh boy. I held on, but this is going to be a tough one. Usually, the honeymoon lasts a couple of days, not hours. 30 days feels LONG from this vantage point.
Ziggy is going to have a trial this week once his hot spots heal a little (they're bad -- maybe overnight is some relief -- might be a vet visit). I don't expect it to be an adoption, but I have to try. (I don't expect, because this is a great home for a dog and I don't know that they "need" to work with a dog to be able to adopt a dog -- does that make sense?) It'll be more learning about him at any rate. I hate to put the little guy through it again though. (Of course, I'm totally heart aching for him.)
TOOL for today is about Ziggy. This is some WOO WOO stuff, but it worked last time I did it. Ask and It Is Given -- Esther and Jerry Hicks is some off the wall stuff. Using the Placemat Technique, write things on the left you intend to do and things on the right you'd like the Universe to handle. Ziggy is on the right. The idea is you feel relief "turning over" the task, relief brings a better vibration and the solution comes without you resisting it. If all it does is make me feel better, it's worth the minute to do it.
I finished a book last night, Reconstructing Amelia -- Kimberly McCreight. I liked her writing style and the story was interesting enough, even the ending was okay. But what happened wasn't believable though. That many people had things to hide? That many people gave this mother a hard time? That many people were inept at their jobs? If she scaled that down a little, I think the book would work.
Anyway ... I get a new pick tonight. I guess that's my TREAT today. Three to choose from ... game night decision.
P.S. I still want to go back to bed, but "working" in my office before the sun is up feels good. Quiet, peaceful, MY time of day.
Happy Monday -- Day 2. Later gators.
Sunday, July 14, 2019
It's HERE
Day 1. Whole 30 with accountability coaching.
I've had several starts and SUDDEN stops the last few months. Can't get through the HARD long enough to get to the RESULTS place.
Unfortunately or fortunately, there's a $$ solution for that -- Hello, Coach Holly.
Our call is Tuesday and I wanted to have a couple days under my belt before the first session. 6 sessions, spread out as I see fit (within reason).
As luck would have it, I got my monthly THREE days early. That's EARLY for me. Good news is the first couple of days zaps my appetite. I have about 12 more hours of lousy before the worst of it is over. By Tuesday, I will feel a lot better and ready to punch forward with Holly.
I'm working on a list of TOOLS and TREATS to get me back to my happy place. I'll share as I go along.
Today's tool is to allow the negative feelings. I'm cramping, have a headache, moody -- all monthly related. Going with it, not fighting it. It's okay. I know why and I know it will be over soon. (The timing was unexpected, but good.)
I'm not going to start the treats for a few days (especially since I don't feel like having a treat -- never do when it's THAT time). BUT, I'll start planning and scheduling for later this week.
As far as food goes, I have some frozen meat and veggies and that will carry me over for a couple of days. I need to hit the grocery store on Monday or Tuesday for a big shop. I'll also need to do some meal prep, but all that will wait until I feel better and my energy is up.
In other news ... as though there's anything else today ... Ziggy has a last minute meet and greet. I don't have much hope for it. I don't think he'll make a good impression right now. His hot spots hurt and he has to wear a blow-up collar to stop licking them. This family is seeing multiple dogs so waiting wasn't an option. I'm looking at this as another LEARNING experience for both me and Ziggy as we work toward an adoption.
Happy Sunday which feels like a Monday because who starts a diet on a Sunday??? (P.S. Yes, I consider this a diet -- I want to drop some weight and get back to eating well. That's a diet in my book and I don't care that "diet" is a no-no word. I could call it another word and it's still the same dang thing. Rant over.)
Later gators.
I've had several starts and SUDDEN stops the last few months. Can't get through the HARD long enough to get to the RESULTS place.
Unfortunately or fortunately, there's a $$ solution for that -- Hello, Coach Holly.
Our call is Tuesday and I wanted to have a couple days under my belt before the first session. 6 sessions, spread out as I see fit (within reason).
As luck would have it, I got my monthly THREE days early. That's EARLY for me. Good news is the first couple of days zaps my appetite. I have about 12 more hours of lousy before the worst of it is over. By Tuesday, I will feel a lot better and ready to punch forward with Holly.
I'm working on a list of TOOLS and TREATS to get me back to my happy place. I'll share as I go along.
Today's tool is to allow the negative feelings. I'm cramping, have a headache, moody -- all monthly related. Going with it, not fighting it. It's okay. I know why and I know it will be over soon. (The timing was unexpected, but good.)
I'm not going to start the treats for a few days (especially since I don't feel like having a treat -- never do when it's THAT time). BUT, I'll start planning and scheduling for later this week.
As far as food goes, I have some frozen meat and veggies and that will carry me over for a couple of days. I need to hit the grocery store on Monday or Tuesday for a big shop. I'll also need to do some meal prep, but all that will wait until I feel better and my energy is up.
In other news ... as though there's anything else today ... Ziggy has a last minute meet and greet. I don't have much hope for it. I don't think he'll make a good impression right now. His hot spots hurt and he has to wear a blow-up collar to stop licking them. This family is seeing multiple dogs so waiting wasn't an option. I'm looking at this as another LEARNING experience for both me and Ziggy as we work toward an adoption.
Happy Sunday which feels like a Monday because who starts a diet on a Sunday??? (P.S. Yes, I consider this a diet -- I want to drop some weight and get back to eating well. That's a diet in my book and I don't care that "diet" is a no-no word. I could call it another word and it's still the same dang thing. Rant over.)
Later gators.
Saturday, July 13, 2019
Last Day
Last day before I begin a Whole30.
I'm ready. I'm bloated, tired, sore -- all the things. We have dinner and drinks with friends tonight so I wanted to start after today (it would be different if I had already started).
The Fun Friday neighborhood gathering was nice. Good food (old ladies can cook - haha!!), nice company. We stayed a few hours, but didn't make it a late night. My "cheat" sliders worked well. I have another month to figure out something else to bring. I might bake -- the savory food was amazing and I don't know if I can come up with another idea that will be eaten. The desserts were mostly store bought, so the homemade stuff went well. Or maybe candied bacon?!?! There's a thought.
It's HOT this weekend. With my bloated self and on the approach to my monthly, I'm not tolerating the heat at all. We are planning to go into a town tonight and walk around before dinner. Ugh. And it's suppose to storm heavily (but not relieve the humidity). I texted my girlfriend this morning to see if we wanted to change up our plans.
Ziggy is having a rough go. His grooming looks good, but he's ended up with several hot spots. Poor boy. The pain is making him fussy (I have cream and pills for him). He has no interest from adopters. Hubby is complaining. Fun times.
I have to figure out a workout this morning. I ran yesterday, so I need to do something else, but my back is still wonky.
Not feeling like participating in anything today. Whole30 can't come soon enough. Why do I do this to myself? If I could solve that, I could conquer the world LOL.
Happy HOT Weekend. Later gators.
I'm ready. I'm bloated, tired, sore -- all the things. We have dinner and drinks with friends tonight so I wanted to start after today (it would be different if I had already started).
The Fun Friday neighborhood gathering was nice. Good food (old ladies can cook - haha!!), nice company. We stayed a few hours, but didn't make it a late night. My "cheat" sliders worked well. I have another month to figure out something else to bring. I might bake -- the savory food was amazing and I don't know if I can come up with another idea that will be eaten. The desserts were mostly store bought, so the homemade stuff went well. Or maybe candied bacon?!?! There's a thought.
It's HOT this weekend. With my bloated self and on the approach to my monthly, I'm not tolerating the heat at all. We are planning to go into a town tonight and walk around before dinner. Ugh. And it's suppose to storm heavily (but not relieve the humidity). I texted my girlfriend this morning to see if we wanted to change up our plans.
Ziggy is having a rough go. His grooming looks good, but he's ended up with several hot spots. Poor boy. The pain is making him fussy (I have cream and pills for him). He has no interest from adopters. Hubby is complaining. Fun times.
I have to figure out a workout this morning. I ran yesterday, so I need to do something else, but my back is still wonky.
Not feeling like participating in anything today. Whole30 can't come soon enough. Why do I do this to myself? If I could solve that, I could conquer the world LOL.
Happy HOT Weekend. Later gators.
Friday, July 12, 2019
Double Post Day
Last post was my "heavy" thinking - hah.
Here's the post about nothing ...
(1) Book club last night. Once again, book club doesn't live up to my excellent book club in Virginia -- none ever will, unfortunately.
The good ...
Super casual -- the host puts out lite snacks. Lite, like nuts and cookies. No one brings anything.
It's a quick night -- over by 8:30 or 9 o'clock.
Small group and you get time to chat with your neighbors.
Read recommendations you might not normally.
The not as good ...
Starts at 7 o'clock and that feels late to wait around to go out (yep, I'm one of THOSE people).
It's kind of boring. Host reads the book club questions and a quick chat and that's it.
I wouldn't mind some food! Also, the wine selection was the pits. (Won't matter when I'm on W30.)
I'll still go when I can -- connecting with the neighbors in a small group is important. Staying up like a big girl is also important.
(2) Fun Friday is tonight (another monthly neighborhood event). This is a big group, couples (families) and you bring a dish and your own drink. Starts at 6 o'clock (that's MUCH better).
I'm taking a short cut. I bought mini croissants and chicken salad -- fancy finger sandwiches. I'm adding some veggie crunch, putting it on a pretty tray and calling it a night. Bought a nice bottle of wine (i.e cheap from Costco) to have as I finish my last two nights before WHOLE30!
(3) Cleaning crew is back on my calendar. My back can't handle the floors. I tried. I justified the coaching cost with the cleaning savings. (Now I need to justify it backwards -- I HAVE saved the cleaning money for 3 months BEFORE.) It is what it is. Hubby's back is bad enough that he can't do the heavy cleaning either.
(4) I have another book recommendation -- two ladies from book club last night said it was one of the BEST books they've EVER read. That's setting a high bar, but if someone tells me that, I have no choice but to read it. I bought it as an actual book because there's apparently some issues with the kindle version. A Gentleman in Moscow -- Amor Towels. Also, "good to the very last page."
Now I have a list of books to read. Current one and 3 in wait. Best get that evening reading routine up and running again. It's good timing since I need FUN to go with my Whole30. Good books are a perfect start.
(5) Speaking of that ... time to get thinking about my TREATS during Whole30 (treats, not rewards). Fun things added to my day that feel happy and good. Doesn't need to cost anything or be something big to work. Good book, good movie, nail appointment, hike, chat with a friend, NEW PLANTS (still only one alive - 5 is the goal), new lip gloss. You get the idea. Maybe I'll make a list.
Happy Friday -- hope the weekend is a good one. Dogs are calling to go out. Later gators.
Here's the post about nothing ...
(1) Book club last night. Once again, book club doesn't live up to my excellent book club in Virginia -- none ever will, unfortunately.
The good ...
Super casual -- the host puts out lite snacks. Lite, like nuts and cookies. No one brings anything.
It's a quick night -- over by 8:30 or 9 o'clock.
Small group and you get time to chat with your neighbors.
Read recommendations you might not normally.
The not as good ...
Starts at 7 o'clock and that feels late to wait around to go out (yep, I'm one of THOSE people).
It's kind of boring. Host reads the book club questions and a quick chat and that's it.
I wouldn't mind some food! Also, the wine selection was the pits. (Won't matter when I'm on W30.)
I'll still go when I can -- connecting with the neighbors in a small group is important. Staying up like a big girl is also important.
(2) Fun Friday is tonight (another monthly neighborhood event). This is a big group, couples (families) and you bring a dish and your own drink. Starts at 6 o'clock (that's MUCH better).
I'm taking a short cut. I bought mini croissants and chicken salad -- fancy finger sandwiches. I'm adding some veggie crunch, putting it on a pretty tray and calling it a night. Bought a nice bottle of wine (i.e cheap from Costco) to have as I finish my last two nights before WHOLE30!
(3) Cleaning crew is back on my calendar. My back can't handle the floors. I tried. I justified the coaching cost with the cleaning savings. (Now I need to justify it backwards -- I HAVE saved the cleaning money for 3 months BEFORE.) It is what it is. Hubby's back is bad enough that he can't do the heavy cleaning either.
(4) I have another book recommendation -- two ladies from book club last night said it was one of the BEST books they've EVER read. That's setting a high bar, but if someone tells me that, I have no choice but to read it. I bought it as an actual book because there's apparently some issues with the kindle version. A Gentleman in Moscow -- Amor Towels. Also, "good to the very last page."
Now I have a list of books to read. Current one and 3 in wait. Best get that evening reading routine up and running again. It's good timing since I need FUN to go with my Whole30. Good books are a perfect start.
(5) Speaking of that ... time to get thinking about my TREATS during Whole30 (treats, not rewards). Fun things added to my day that feel happy and good. Doesn't need to cost anything or be something big to work. Good book, good movie, nail appointment, hike, chat with a friend, NEW PLANTS (still only one alive - 5 is the goal), new lip gloss. You get the idea. Maybe I'll make a list.
Happy Friday -- hope the weekend is a good one. Dogs are calling to go out. Later gators.
A Whole New World
My new normal.
New house. Hubby home.New No routines.
I don't have much that stayed the same. Even my workouts changed. I quit the boxing gym (less related to my move, more related to their changes). I haven't found a replacement yet (injuries are stalling new things).
Morning routine is out the door.
Evening routine is non-existent.
I can't even get in a flow to grocery shop. No "regular" stores. I still go back to my old shopping (which will lessen now that we sold the house).
That's the problem -- NOTHING is flowing yet. Nothing is actually a ROUTINE. I can't figure out how to get some consistency. I do the things, but not as a routine anymore. Does that make sense? Workout times are all over the place. Sometimes I journal in the late morning, sometimes at night. Even morning coffee gets delayed some days.
Doing THE THINGS as a routine amplifies the effect for me. Scattered gives me the feeling of being unorganized and off-kilter.
Also, a routine takes away decision making. When should I do it? Which should I do right now? Can I skip it? Enter head-talk and negotiations and the ease to be steered in another direction. Now it's extra, extra WORK with lessened reward -- lose, lose situation.
Even the time I wake up has been all over the map -- between 5:30 and 7:30.
Maybe that's where to start. Consistent EARLY wake-up. That will help my morning routine solidify a bit. That means an alarm. An alarm could mean waking dogs and hubby up. That's why I stopped setting one -- even if I got up early, they all did too. It defeated the purpose.
This is going to be a goal of my Whole30 -- building routines back. They won't look the same, but I need ROUTINE.
Noticing this is BIG for me. I keep complaining about CHANGE, but maybe the issue is ROUTINE.
I'm going to have to think outside the box to figure routines that can work consistently in MY WHOLE NEW WORLD.
I'm also going to need to get a little ugly holding those routines. It's easy to get run over (in the morning especially) and have my stuff pushed around and out. That's why waking up before the rest of the house worked so well -- my time without interruption and then it's finished and everyone is happy. I've asked nicely, explained patiently and STILL I get pushed. I think it's going to take a firm stand (or ugly stand) to be heard. I say -- don't have to understand it, just have to respect it.
I'm on a ROUTINE BUILDING MISSION. Stay tuned ...
New house. Hubby home.
I don't have much that stayed the same. Even my workouts changed. I quit the boxing gym (less related to my move, more related to their changes). I haven't found a replacement yet (injuries are stalling new things).
Morning routine is out the door.
Evening routine is non-existent.
I can't even get in a flow to grocery shop. No "regular" stores. I still go back to my old shopping (which will lessen now that we sold the house).
That's the problem -- NOTHING is flowing yet. Nothing is actually a ROUTINE. I can't figure out how to get some consistency. I do the things, but not as a routine anymore. Does that make sense? Workout times are all over the place. Sometimes I journal in the late morning, sometimes at night. Even morning coffee gets delayed some days.
Doing THE THINGS as a routine amplifies the effect for me. Scattered gives me the feeling of being unorganized and off-kilter.
Also, a routine takes away decision making. When should I do it? Which should I do right now? Can I skip it? Enter head-talk and negotiations and the ease to be steered in another direction. Now it's extra, extra WORK with lessened reward -- lose, lose situation.
Even the time I wake up has been all over the map -- between 5:30 and 7:30.
Maybe that's where to start. Consistent EARLY wake-up. That will help my morning routine solidify a bit. That means an alarm. An alarm could mean waking dogs and hubby up. That's why I stopped setting one -- even if I got up early, they all did too. It defeated the purpose.
This is going to be a goal of my Whole30 -- building routines back. They won't look the same, but I need ROUTINE.
Noticing this is BIG for me. I keep complaining about CHANGE, but maybe the issue is ROUTINE.
I'm going to have to think outside the box to figure routines that can work consistently in MY WHOLE NEW WORLD.
I'm also going to need to get a little ugly holding those routines. It's easy to get run over (in the morning especially) and have my stuff pushed around and out. That's why waking up before the rest of the house worked so well -- my time without interruption and then it's finished and everyone is happy. I've asked nicely, explained patiently and STILL I get pushed. I think it's going to take a firm stand (or ugly stand) to be heard. I say -- don't have to understand it, just have to respect it.
I'm on a ROUTINE BUILDING MISSION. Stay tuned ...
Thursday, July 11, 2019
Random Things (pictures)
First -- BOOKS.
I haven't read either but they are both CHEAP on kindle right now, so I thought I'd offer them up. The first is a recommendation from Melissa Urban and I've enjoyed a few other of her recommendations. The second is August's book club with Jen Hatmaker. Both ladies give glowing reviews.
I'm Fine and Neither Are You -- Camille Pagan
Lillian Boxfish Takes A Walk -- Kathleen Rooney
________________________________________________________________________
Here are some pictures of our work-in-progress with the house.
Shade installation came a day early -- they had a cancelation. We got the motorized black-out shade for the bedroom too. Works perfectly, but nothing to "see" -- it's hidden when it's up and a white shade when it's down. We'll keep it up all day and put down when we go to bed.
________________________________________________________________________
DIRECT TV
Much, much, much better than Hulu Live. Still not as good as TiVo (search capabilities, guide interface and not able to interface well with Prime and Netflix). Still, better is better.
Speaking of Netflix. Am I the only one who can't get into Stranger Things this season? I've only watched the first episode, so maybe I need to keep trying. It seems dumb -- wouldn't you move after all that? At least out of your house? Or be more cautious with the kids' freedom to wander?
________________________________________________________________________
ZIGGY
He's doing great for us (one smart dog), but getting too attached. Adoption might be challenging. He and Duke play well together. (P.S. He's twice the weight of Duke, but looks the same in this picture -- he's so heavy for his size!)
________________________________________________________________________
Tonight is our neighborhood book club. As usual, I'll be glad I went, but hate the idea of staying up for the night. We read the summer hit, Where the Crawdads Sing -- Delia Owens.
Tomorrow night is Friday Fun and I need to come up with a dish to bring. When is this suddenly such a problem for me? It's like I have appetizer amnesia. I hate to take the easy route and only bring dessert.
Saturday night we are going out to dinner with friends.
Sunday starts Whole30.
That's my life in a nutshell. Have a good one -- later gators.
I haven't read either but they are both CHEAP on kindle right now, so I thought I'd offer them up. The first is a recommendation from Melissa Urban and I've enjoyed a few other of her recommendations. The second is August's book club with Jen Hatmaker. Both ladies give glowing reviews.
I'm Fine and Neither Are You -- Camille Pagan
Lillian Boxfish Takes A Walk -- Kathleen Rooney
________________________________________________________________________
Here are some pictures of our work-in-progress with the house.
 |
| Trying to use things we already have to decorate. It's not exact, but it's free so there's that!! |
 |
| Old pictures. Kinds of random for the bathroom, but free works again. |
 |
| Spare bedroom. There's a mirror hanging to the left of the bed. The frame needs to be painted (currently yellow-cream). I'm looking for someone who does dry brush painting. |
 |
| Spare bedroom. Bed skirt is flax (sitting on the bed - unwrapped because my back). Have to hang pictures and such. Maybe need a small throw pillow too. |
 |
| Trying to get a center scape on table. Building slowly. More candle sticks and candles on the way. |
 |
| New shade. |
Shade installation came a day early -- they had a cancelation. We got the motorized black-out shade for the bedroom too. Works perfectly, but nothing to "see" -- it's hidden when it's up and a white shade when it's down. We'll keep it up all day and put down when we go to bed.
________________________________________________________________________
DIRECT TV
Much, much, much better than Hulu Live. Still not as good as TiVo (search capabilities, guide interface and not able to interface well with Prime and Netflix). Still, better is better.
Speaking of Netflix. Am I the only one who can't get into Stranger Things this season? I've only watched the first episode, so maybe I need to keep trying. It seems dumb -- wouldn't you move after all that? At least out of your house? Or be more cautious with the kids' freedom to wander?
________________________________________________________________________
ZIGGY
He's doing great for us (one smart dog), but getting too attached. Adoption might be challenging. He and Duke play well together. (P.S. He's twice the weight of Duke, but looks the same in this picture -- he's so heavy for his size!)
 |
| See the mirror -- wrong color. It's more yellow in person. BUT, adorable little fellows! |
Tonight is our neighborhood book club. As usual, I'll be glad I went, but hate the idea of staying up for the night. We read the summer hit, Where the Crawdads Sing -- Delia Owens.
Tomorrow night is Friday Fun and I need to come up with a dish to bring. When is this suddenly such a problem for me? It's like I have appetizer amnesia. I hate to take the easy route and only bring dessert.
Saturday night we are going out to dinner with friends.
Sunday starts Whole30.
That's my life in a nutshell. Have a good one -- later gators.
Wednesday, July 10, 2019
To Do or Not to Do
Of course, that IS the question.
I'm debating on doing an actual Whole30 (which I started and stopped AGAIN after my back/neck saga).
I'm starting with Holly (life coach) next week. 6 weeks. The plan is an official Whole30.
Whole30 works for me and works well. It does all the things. Gets me back in my jeans, gets me back to healthy meal timing, gets me off the sugar train, gets me back to CRAVING HEALTHY FOOD! It's only 30 days.
But ...
I don't want to adjust my social life for a month. 30 days is 30 days is 30 days.
++ Part of the problem day-to-day is there is not enough fun. It's been all the stressful things and far fewer fun things. I want to get back to the fun stuff. Fun includes social eating and social drinking -- for me and I don't see that changing inforever the near future.
++ Part of my problem day-to-day is I'm eating like crap, feeling like crap and repeating.
So which is more IMPORTANT?
Do I need to choose? Can I have my cake and eat it too?
I don't know. I'm so far off the path that I think only a committed Whole30 can fix it. But what if there was a more gentle solution? Food freedom will take me there on the slow train and the ride is nicer. However, I don't know if I'll stay on that train -- too easy to get derailed (love a tacky metaphor -- hah).
I'm probably being a tantrum-throwing 2 year old and I NEED to do the Whole30. What is so scary about it? I've had many successes and I KNOW the results are EXACTLY what I want -- seems like a no-brainer.
Yet, my brain is THINKING, PLOTTING, BEGGING for a different option. Sounds like it's my 2 year old brain screaming the loudest -- right??
I know the answer. I don't want THIS answer. Dang.
30 days.
Fun that is not food related.
FIX the problem.
Being grownup is HARD sometimes.
I'm debating on doing an actual Whole30 (which I started and stopped AGAIN after my back/neck saga).
I'm starting with Holly (life coach) next week. 6 weeks. The plan is an official Whole30.
Whole30 works for me and works well. It does all the things. Gets me back in my jeans, gets me back to healthy meal timing, gets me off the sugar train, gets me back to CRAVING HEALTHY FOOD! It's only 30 days.
But ...
I don't want to adjust my social life for a month. 30 days is 30 days is 30 days.
++ Part of the problem day-to-day is there is not enough fun. It's been all the stressful things and far fewer fun things. I want to get back to the fun stuff. Fun includes social eating and social drinking -- for me and I don't see that changing in
++ Part of my problem day-to-day is I'm eating like crap, feeling like crap and repeating.
So which is more IMPORTANT?
Do I need to choose? Can I have my cake and eat it too?
I don't know. I'm so far off the path that I think only a committed Whole30 can fix it. But what if there was a more gentle solution? Food freedom will take me there on the slow train and the ride is nicer. However, I don't know if I'll stay on that train -- too easy to get derailed (love a tacky metaphor -- hah).
I'm probably being a tantrum-throwing 2 year old and I NEED to do the Whole30. What is so scary about it? I've had many successes and I KNOW the results are EXACTLY what I want -- seems like a no-brainer.
Yet, my brain is THINKING, PLOTTING, BEGGING for a different option. Sounds like it's my 2 year old brain screaming the loudest -- right??
I know the answer. I don't want THIS answer. Dang.
30 days.
Fun that is not food related.
FIX the problem.
Being grownup is HARD sometimes.
Tuesday, July 9, 2019
Ta-Da, It's Tuesday!
We are proud owners of ONE house now. Closing went smoothly (although some details down to the wire). We closed together, but in separate rooms. That worked -- I didn't want to sit across from them while the last "discussions" were made. Our realtor gave them some incorrect dates and it came back as an issue, but it was worked out in the end.
That stress is finished.
I'm proud of myself because I had a LETTING GO moment this morning. I took myself off of the neighborhood Facebook page. It's a group I needed to belong to because there's important information (lost dog, water break, etc), but it was littered with COMPLAINTS and snarky replies and all things annoying (it's a neighborhood of 640 homes -- lots of "general population"). I'd read posts, get annoyed, fight to NOT post a reply and that's not productive or necessary. BUT ... leaving felt like a goodbye (and, honestly, hard to stop want to "see" and judge it all -- bad habit) ... yet I did it. Seems small, but it's a good clean break. I could have "unfollowed" instead and still be able to spy on all the things. I debated and wobbled and then left. Yea, ME!!
I'm up early. Dogs are not. I tried.
Back to the fact that it's TUESDAY -- my feel better day. I'm partially there. Is that a win? I feel better physically (mostly), but I need to get my head back in a better space.
Here's why. Last night we were happy and relieved and all good things. Yep -- Tuesday would be the start of good. Then (just before I went to bed to read) hubby announced he's not going back to work for at least a year and maybe not at all. Big "conversation" ensued and my STRESS level shot to the heavens. To THE HEAVENS!
Okay, Universe. Once again giving it back to me. Stress won't leave. I need to change to handle stress better. Turn all this around, etc. I'm ready to fight the fight again, do the work, make the effort.
We've arrived at the NEW NORMAL and I need to adjust. This is going to be an epic battle (*cue dramatic music*). I've been surviving under the assumption this togetherness is temporary, at least more temporary than it is and that was a killer mistake. (Or maybe it was the best I could do at the time?) It's not him specifically, it's needing my space in general. Without the space, I'm a hot mess.
Last night, it felt devastating (yep, dramatic). Today it feels like a challenge. Mount Everest of personal growth, marriage building and uncertainty.
I have no choice. This is the next chapter. Stay tuned ...
That stress is finished.
I'm proud of myself because I had a LETTING GO moment this morning. I took myself off of the neighborhood Facebook page. It's a group I needed to belong to because there's important information (lost dog, water break, etc), but it was littered with COMPLAINTS and snarky replies and all things annoying (it's a neighborhood of 640 homes -- lots of "general population"). I'd read posts, get annoyed, fight to NOT post a reply and that's not productive or necessary. BUT ... leaving felt like a goodbye (and, honestly, hard to stop want to "see" and judge it all -- bad habit) ... yet I did it. Seems small, but it's a good clean break. I could have "unfollowed" instead and still be able to spy on all the things. I debated and wobbled and then left. Yea, ME!!
I'm up early. Dogs are not. I tried.
Back to the fact that it's TUESDAY -- my feel better day. I'm partially there. Is that a win? I feel better physically (mostly), but I need to get my head back in a better space.
Here's why. Last night we were happy and relieved and all good things. Yep -- Tuesday would be the start of good. Then (just before I went to bed to read) hubby announced he's not going back to work for at least a year and maybe not at all. Big "conversation" ensued and my STRESS level shot to the heavens. To THE HEAVENS!
Okay, Universe. Once again giving it back to me. Stress won't leave. I need to change to handle stress better. Turn all this around, etc. I'm ready to fight the fight again, do the work, make the effort.
We've arrived at the NEW NORMAL and I need to adjust. This is going to be an epic battle (*cue dramatic music*). I've been surviving under the assumption this togetherness is temporary, at least more temporary than it is and that was a killer mistake. (Or maybe it was the best I could do at the time?) It's not him specifically, it's needing my space in general. Without the space, I'm a hot mess.
Last night, it felt devastating (yep, dramatic). Today it feels like a challenge. Mount Everest of personal growth, marriage building and uncertainty.
I have no choice. This is the next chapter. Stay tuned ...
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