We talked for over an hour and could've talked for double the time, but I had lunch plans.
We have tons in common. Podcasts, books, running, stomach issues, goals. She's younger by at least 10 years (probably 15) ... "in her 30s."
I enjoyed the conversation and then had a bit of a panic attack. Lessons learned over the years about jumping into a relationship too quickly. It felt like a BIG JUMP. Personal super fast! I guess that's the point. Then lots and lots of texting all day yesterday. Maybe this is the beginning get-to-know-you phase and it will quiet down. Maybe it's nice if it doesn't quiet down?? I don't know. I'm looking for CONNECTIONS and now I'm fighting against it.
Fickle ME.
She likes to ask me what I'm eating for dinner - detailed reporting. That's already old. But I'll be a team player. Maybe this is what SHE needs. And she's a super strict eater - organic, homemade everything, no alcohol, micro label reading person. It feels like PRESSURE to have a "perfect" meal rather than accountability. Again - this is probably just the initial phase of sizing each other up and figuring out a rhythm. I need to remember to BE MYSELF and not pretend. Her situation is not mine. We can be supportive and be different.
The beginning of things is scary, a little nerve-racking and it should feel that way if it's something different, out-of-the-usual-box.
I decided to try the green drink stuff. I got some unsweetened almond milk, non-dairy yogurt, unsweetened coconut water and I'll experiment with options. I'm not having it for breakfast, but will with lunch.
My concerns over PHB continue to be some of the MANDATORY things. I got a pass on weight and measurements, I got a pass on the green drink for breakfast, but I don't think I'm getting a pass on the Fit Bit. This annoys me. My watch is FAR, FAR more accurate than any Fit Bit I've used before. I don't need an extra thing on my wrist that I need to charge, etc. I don't need to spend money on something that is of NO VALUE to me at all. I don't need "motivation" to move. Period. The rationale is they can't sync up the apple watches. I don't care. Some people have to "correct" the step count because the Fit Bit didn't register enough on their walk (they know the distance they walked). Exactly my point!! I'm going to ignore it and see if anyone notices. Short of them kicking me out of the program and refunding all my money, I don't think it's possible to MAKE me.
Do I sound like a child?!? All the woo-woo stuff, I'm all onboard with doing. If something makes sense for ME, then, yep. I'm happy to try something new - evaluate it's worth. I already KNOW the Fit Bit doesn't work. The watch shows me my steps (I AM participating) - why do I need something that shows me my steps WRONG?!? Bio-individuality - they preach it - I'm exercising it. (I guess this is a hot button for me - didn't realize the rant would be this loud!!)
Overall, I'm happy with the program (even if it sounds like I'm not). The real test is the small group calls on Tuesday.
Anyway ...
Gift From the Sea is getting better, but I'm not finding it as "beautiful" as I expected -- yet. Darcie encouraged me to read some of Girl, Wash Your Face. I STILL don't like it. It doesn't resonate with me. I hear what she's saying, heard it before, but heard it said in a much better way. My opinion, for what it's worth.
Today is an outside run with Duke. I'll do my walk warm-up on the treadmill so I can do my affirmations. Trying to focus on affirmations, "handle" a dog AND run doesn't work very well. Instead of grateful and inspired, I'm annoyed. Not the vibe I want LOL!
The rest of the day is "work" stuff. Pay bills, make adoption calls. Hopefully, I'll have it all finished by mid-afternoon and can enjoy some of this low humidity weather - on the deck, reading, kombucha in hand. Sounds like a winner to me. Better get planning dinner too - you know that question is coming!! (Ok, I sound bitter - more of a JK than a bitchy comment - I think.)
Happy Saturday! Later gators.
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