Saying YES

I'm working hard on saying YES and sticking to my YES.  The funk is lingering and I'm fighting hard against it.  I don't know if I'm actually winning.  Hibernation mode is going strong - not good - and it's my biggest "tell" when I'm in a funk.

I know it's bad when I almost canceled my gyn appointment.  GPS took me to a location in the woods - ugh.  I called their office for 15 minutes straight with no option to speak to someone ... just voicemails.  My final voicemail said I'd try to find the place and if I didn't show up, they'd know why.  Shockingly - success (which is a small miracle given my lack of direction sense).  I got there with 5 minutes to spare (I'm an "early" person - thankfully - or I'd never would have made it).  Their response ... oh, we know - everyone has that problem.  UGH!  How about a heads up?!?!  During my search for the office, I gave hard thought to giving up, returning home, pjs and shut the shutters.  HIBERNATION.

I have plans to go out with my aunt and my son's girlfriend tomorrow.  Foot massages and lunch (after I pick up his girlfriend from the car repair shop - her day off and no car - that sucks).  There was a hiccup in those plans and I my knee jerk response was to cancel.  I fixed the hiccup and am continuing on (and will have a good time).  FIGHTING THE FUNK.

I had to move my eye appointment because of Wednesday's plans and I thought to cancel altogether.  I moved it to Friday.

I had the week of my GNI group wrong - it's not tomorrow, but next week.  I thought about canceling that too since I'd be gone all day and crating a little chihuahua feels wrong.  Now it's a mute point as it's not this week (an indirect win on this one!).

I saw a neighbor while walking the dogs yesterday and had an opportunity to turn the other way.  I almost did.  Instead, I waved and ended up having a nice conversation.

I had to "force" myself to return text messages and answer my phone - from friends and family.  Fun stuff and I wasn't "feeling" it.

Thursday is a Releash Atlanta event.  Pints and Pups.  A brewery is sponsoring Releash and it's a chance for the fosters to get some social time and exposure for adoption.  I didn't realize it was just a brewery (i.e. no food).  The YES responses are all going with friends, spouses, etc.  I'm going solo.  Rush hour into the city, no food, no friends, no drinking (as I'm driving).  A number of people are going late (it's from 6-10pm).  I planned to go early.  I picture having no one there and being all alone and feeling stupid for going. The urge to cancel is strong.  This one might win.

HIBERNATION sucks.  I'm always happy to be out-and-about.  So why the hibernation?!?  It's probably a degree of depression, but I'm hesitant to call it that because I've seen "big" depression.  Me saying I'm depressed feels like an insult to those actually battling depression.  I know it's a scale, a range - but funk fits better to me.

So my YES today is Lift at noon (hopefully arms as I'm running first).  YES to finishing my to-do list (I got tons done yesterday and what was left was planned for today).  I'm also going to push out of hibernation and reach out to a friend - just to say hello.

My INTENTION today is a repeat - STAY BUSY.  Movement, activity, forward progress always helps a funk.  Fake it till you make it.  I'm trying.