GM. Up early to hike at daybreak ... with a friend, yea!!
Pretty please don't let her cancel.
This is her first time on this mountain and it'll be a challenge for her.
Kind of relaxes me since we'll take it slowly.
We have lots and lots to catch up on so time should fly.
I did NOT go to the meeting last night after they posted the agenda.
A night of calling and texting numbers to "get out and vote."
Essentially a phone bank -- nope.
And I was so happy to stay home, guilt-free decision.
Dear Diary,
Today I saw a fire hydrant dressed and ready for Halloween ... a gnome, a witch?? ... and,
a leaf practicing it's magic right before my eyes.
Speaking of magic, and Halloween, and spooky. Tonight we're heading out for a ghost walking tour in our neighborhood. This is a very, very late night, but I'm really looking forward to the tour and the hang with our neighbors.
We had our gardeners call last evening and some of my arugula is ready for harvest. I need to fit that in for tomorrow morning. Picking and delivering. I have a full, full day -- all fun, but non-stop. It'll be tight, but I should be able to figure it out. It must be picked and delivered early. I'll have to leave the coffee meeting early.
Now for a little reflection.
I had a change of heart, decided to revisit a decision I made.
Hear me out. It's going to feel like a justification and that's probably a little true.
"That" friend who I had a falling out with is back in play. I decided to take the temperature down and I gifted her something I knew she'd like (very inexpensive, but totally her). It worked. Things felt more comfortable when we were together. I hated that level of tension. Our worlds overlap regularly and it wasn't fun. I also decided to quit poking her -- I was aggravating the situation with little jabs.
Last week we bonded over that horrible phone bank experience and being treated like garbage. She suggested a couple's dinner tomorrow (like we used to do regularly). We haven't gone out with them since December of last year.
I said yes.
This will totally end the drama.
We can all relax.
It's not the same and never will be, but it doesn't have to be awful.
When she's happy, she's a delight.
When she's hurt or insecure, she's a huge jerk.
Is that someone I want to call a friend?!?
I've thought and thought about it.
Her nastiness comes from insecurity.
I don't want her as a true friend, but I want to be friendly.
As I said, our worlds overlap regularly and this will calm the waters (for now, this time). I'll give it a try to see if we can start again. Nothing deep, just hanging out sometimes. This also helps the group dynamic too. There was a sort of split in that world because of our falling out.
You know I'll keep you posted. Maybe you'll tell me "I told you so" at some point. That's totally fair.
Friendship is a tough go at this stage of my life. I didn't see that issue happening in my 50s. I'm still trying to figure out how to hold tension and relationship. Can I fight with a friend? Can a person who I need to fight with be someone I want to be friends with? Every situation is different. It's taking a lot of hit and misses to figure this out.
I need to be open to being wrong, changing my mind, taking time to figure it out.
Was I wrong before ... no. We needed the fight. I needed to stand up.
But I'm reconsidering what it looks like going forward.
I don't think either of us like the tension.
The little gift was my olive branch.
The invitation was her olive branch.
That was the not-a-rant, but a reflection issue I mentioned a while ago. One of them. I'm not sure if or when I'll go into the other situation. It's another long explanation. Nothing earth shattering, but on my mind.
Have a good day!
Later gators.
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