Bad Dreams

I rested yesterday, but it was a mixed bag day.

I'll start with the hum-drum part. It's kind of a long story. I reacted to something yesterday in a very over-reaction way. I'm working on doing "all the things" of Future Me to keep me feeling my best. It takes a decent amount of effort. I'm also working on some core beliefs -- like supporting local stores. I was low on my turmeric supplement and drove to the local store to support the owner who helped me originally. 

I was feeling pretty good about myself -- checks on a lot of good things. The owner asked if it was helping -- yep, I think so. And then he commented that it's clear I wear a lot of scent and that is probably contributing to inflammation. BTW, the scent is my laundry detergent. He was very nice about it AND it made me really upset. 

Something ELSE I need to do? Why did he comment? Was this a "message" from the universe? Especially since I got so down about it? Should I stop burning candles, go scentless on laundry detergent? Do I offend people with the scent? 

It sent me into a spiral. It was (is) a very strong reaction. I LOVE good smells. It's a part of my day almost everyday and, of course, I want to know if it's contributing to any inflammation.

Then I had nightmare after nightmare last night -- all about my mother and my current decision with our relationship. Maybe I'm conflating this feeling of "being wrong" and "doing wrong" with these two situations. 

I'm getting coaching on The Mother situation next week and I'm tabling the scent situation (as I type, I have a new candle scenting the room). Writing this out makes me think this is exactly the problem. I'm suddenly tentative about decisions and very sensitive to possibly being judged because of the intensity of my relationship problems with her. Things are rough right now on that front.

Guess I have a lot of processing to do.

Anyway ... the good part ...

I relaxed. Finished a list of things. Read and read some more.  This week is very eclectic on the reading front.

Non-fiction. Interesting so far,
but may get "long" feeling.

Finished this. Very good.
2 more in trilogy.

WAY out of box for me.
Recommended "romance"
aka "smut" novel.

I'm tandem reading a non-fiction about pathogens and how they shape humanity and a real-deal romance book AND I finished a fantasy novel with a bigger-than-expected moral story.

The non-fiction is a library read and I'm taking the advice of Currently Reading Podcast and switching up genres after a good read. A little palette cleanser so each book stands alone, doesn't stand in direct comparison so soon (i.e. don't read two fantasy books in a row if the one was really good because the second may fall short simply because of reading order).

I have another hike today -- fast, but short (5 miles). I ordered new hiking shoes. I think that's part of my knee soreness. Hopefully they come soon -- I have some hikes coming up next week, if the weather and my knee hold. It feels good this morning, but it became sore during the last hike. That's unusual timing for me and exercise pain (usually after I finish) -- probably the shoes.

I feel emotionally out of sorts this morning after the night of so many bad dreams. The hike is this afternoon so I'll do a short arm workout this morning followed by a longer meditation. Between the meditation and the hike, hopefully some emotions will process and ease up. 

Hope you have a good day. Later gators.