Farm Flowers

Look at these pretty farm flowers I ordered from our local farmer -- he picked them about 30 minutes before I got there.  $25 (!!)  Today I'll thin them out and make a smaller arrangement to take to bookclub and keep the rest here.  It's a bummer to break up the band -- but it's probably overfilled in the jar.

Weather is iffy still, but I might go a little early and walk around.  Worse case scenario is I park and sit and read in the car until bookclub.  The forecast is changing hourly so it's still a last minute decision.

I want to push into FS stuff a little today.  I'm having a strange kind of mood after yesterday.  I've been proud of myself recently.  Deciding to go solo to CO, practicing Spanish, doing solo trip to Asheville and living hard into FS.  And yesterday I felt a little knocked down.

You need to eat inside regularly again.  You need to learn Spotify.  You'll have fun by yourself in CO.  Take care of DIL's mother on the girls' trip -- don't let her feel uncomfortable.  

It upset me a little.  I'm doing a lot of out-of-box stuff for me -- yet I should do more and never mind kudos for what I'm doing.  I can be alone, take care of myself, manage stuff -- but let's worry about other people (and have you take care of it).

On one hand, I can look at it as a strength -- and I'm seen as strong enough, but it feels like I'm being left to fend for myself.  Given that things are challenging for me right now, this doesn't feel good or fair.  

I know the answer is keeping my pride and such as an inside story.  Outside validation or criticism doesn't count.  I'm proud of myself that I can travel to CO and find my own fun.  I'm proud I'm trying new things -- things I want to do.  When and if I want those other things, I'll do them.  

Anyway, that's why today feels important.  I want to live FS for myself today.  I see who I am, who I'm becoming and I'm proud of me.  

Hope we all have a good Sunday.  Later gators. 

Rainy Weekend

I didn't look at the weather.  I had no idea the weekend was a rainy wash.  

I need to decide how much of tomorrow is worth it in the rain.  I'll go to bookclub, but no sure about walking around the town before -- dang.  Parking is rough and if it's raining that might be an issue.  It's also going to be hot and muggy -- wearing a mask, carrying an umbrella, etc.  I don't want to melt ahead of going to bookclub.  And forget about dining al fresco.  

I'll make a game-day decision when I check out the hourly rain tomorrow.  

Hopefully, the rain will stay light enough that I can do an outside walk/job this morning.  If not, looks like some sort of something inside.  

Today is cooking and picking up flowers from the farm stand that I ordered for bookclub tomorrow.  The arrangement is big enough to split -- some for me, some for a hostess gift.   Hopefully, that still happens in the rain.  

Here are my new "trainers" for fall.  They're nice, but I can tell they aren't orthopedic sneakers (!!)  Definitely not for long walking.  You know how some celebs call their heels "sitting shoes," well, for me it's "sitting sneakers."  I'd say I'm old, but that's kind of always been me -- sore, wide feet.

Short and sweet this morning.  Lots to get ready today.  Have a good Saturday -- later gators.

Jeez

Hiking was an adventure.  I'll give the cliff notes.  

My friend confirmed 5 minutes before she left the house -- no problem.  Gets here and tells me she has to be home for her cleaning crew who are coming early -- let's take separate cars.  Okay.  Also, a pet peeve of mine.  If something has changed, don't arrive and tell me.  I told her this was a loop hike -- how do you change that?!?!?

I had a feeling she wasn't going to make the timeframe, but I didn't care because I was annoyed.  Two cancelations and now a "need to rush this" kind of thing.  

Anyway, we arrive at the trailhead and she's in street clothes with a big pocketbook and a half a bottle of water.  What?!?!  She was wearing her new hiking shoes though.  I offered to carry her wallet and keys so she could leave the purse -- but she declined.  

Keep in mind, I told her all about the HIKE (not just a walk).  There are a few big hills, it's about 3 1/2 miles (with new detours), you need hiking shoes, etc.  She was totally not prepared.  Seriously?!?

It took us over 2 hours because she needed to stop a lot.  I asked a few times if she was okay to continue and she said yes.  She said she's a runner (not much since the pandemic, but still thought she was okay), goes to a personal trainer 3 times a week and LOVES to walk fast.  At a certain point, it was a point of no return once we were over halfway so forward was the way.

I ended up having to put a pin where we were when we crossed a road and finish the hike myself and pick her up in the car.  She's okay (I had a few minutes where I was worried she was going to pass out.)  She was very annoyed with me during the hike -- saying she thought it was something else (like pavement).  Later, she apologized and said she was embarrassed and felt like she ruined my day (she didn't).  

It was actually entertaining -- the steady state of mumbled complaining that I didn't even think she realized half the time.  "Are you just looking at your watch and making it up or do you actually know how far we've gone?"  "I need to talk to my trainer."  "I actually don't think that's cool" (the water feature I love).  "How fast can you walk!" "You've killed me."  "I'm never going to recover."  "This is endless."  "I can't go one more step, not one more."  "I won't sit down because I don't want bugs on me" (promptly sits down).  "Why don't you have dirt in your shoes?  Are you wearing long socks?" (as she's looking at my low top hiking shoes with ankle socks).  "It's like sandpaper, it's rubbing me raw" (won't sit to empty out shoes)

Of course, I didn't want her to be sick and I absolutely took care of her.  I don't want to sound sadistic.  She was just tired, hungry and lightheaded -- no chest pains, no really issue, felt better resting.   

Lesson for me is to pack for others.  I'll bring snack option, extra water and aspirin.  I know this loop well -- it's really not a big deal.  I only take a water bottle and a fanny pack usually.

Later, she said she didn't realize how far her fitness dropped.  Apparently, the trainer is all lifting and she hasn't done any cardio in years.  

There's more, but that enough of a recap.  More involves park rangers, search for a man with a gun, finding out she normally carries a gun (what?!?).  Good lord.  It was a morning.

And, last moral of the story ... sticking to lunch dates, no more hiking.

Here's the water feature.  Little drizzle of water that's carved out mini waterfalls.  The drizzle is LOUD, like really loud.  It's so cool that a little stream of water can make that much noise.  The park put up a bench so you can sit and listen to it.

This is shaping up to be quite a week -- lots of adventures.  Still have fun Saturday and Sunday coming up.

Today is a rest day (my back and legs need it).  Trader Joe's run for Saturday's grill out and that's all on my list.

Hope you have a Good Friday -- later gators.

Spanish Success (!!)

Yesterday was a GREAT day!  It started with a walk/jog -- 2 miles of each again, but I went out late and it was already over 80.  Not smart.  Man, I was zapped after (and all my Oura stats confirm today).

Lunch was so much fun.  Youngest and his GF.  The food was amazing and I spoke Spanish to the hostess and server THE ENTIRE TIME (!!)  It was awesome.  People were kind about it and big smiles when I spoke (probably a mix of being happy and finding it funny, but I'll take it).  I see where I have some holes to fill (forming questions still gives me too long a pause), but I did it.

Emailed my Spanish teacher and got kodos (a little teacher's pet thing).  Went out on a limb to suggest a class field trip -- she ignored that part, but I put it out there lol. 

Unexpectedly pretty on the inside.

Los tacos pescado.
Incredibly good -- on
homemade corn tortillas

No curbside love, but then
the inside was cool with
lots of art and vintage pieces.

Ate inside (only option), but only one other table across the room.  Not bad -- glad we went for a late lunch.  They get hit at weekday lunch hours and all weekend.

Earlier in the day, I did a thought download on every idea I could think of to learn Spanish.  One was Spanish podcast.  Turns out there's a great one -- simple stories with translations on her website.  I listened to it the entire drive.  I downloaded a few other podcast options, but they're over my head too much.  This one is designed for simple auditory comprehension -- that's my level right now.

So much FS stuff and it felt like a fantastic day.  I'm totally glad I did it and super proud of myself.  Every single time I live a day of FS, it's a great day.  Lesson noted.

As far as today goes, a hike scheduled with my friend who's canceled twice.  She didn't touch base to confirm (and I didn't bother -- oops a little passive aggressive after 2 cancelations).  I'll see what happens this morning.  I expect it's all good though.  After today's hike, I'm going to need a rest day.  Just a little bit of jogging and bam, time for recovery.  

Hubby invited the kids over Saturday for a grill out so I need to plan a meal.  Looks like I'm gearing up for a fun weekend.

Here's Monti when I got home -- he needs reassurance after I've been gone a chunk of time.  Love this little butt.

Can I do ANOTHER great day??  Not as superpowered as yesterday, but I expect it'll be a nice day.  Hope you find the same.  Later gators.

Lunch Date

I tried to "talk him out of it" lol, but INDOOR lunch date with my youngest is on for this afternoon (after the lunch crowd).  So when if I am sick in 3 days, it's all on me.  Eeek.

Spanish and a COVID risk -- yep, I'm a bit nervous this morning.  Wish me luck on both fronts.

SCS coaching call was good yesterday.  Friendship issues.  A friend who disappointed me without apology -- and now I can't let it go.  In the past, (not proudly) I would've been passive aggressive to get over it -- a little dig comment.  "New me" finds that speaking up and saying something in the moment works well, but in this case, I missed the moment because I couldn't find the words to say what I was feeling.  If I speak up, I don't need anything to change, but saying it out loud feels like I telling myself I'm important too.  (Lots of childhood issues here.)

Now I'm stuck with resentment and the desire for a passive aggressive dig.  Coaching helped a lot.  It's a long story, but the short version is to understand MY feelings of resentment and hurt first.  Then, can I find a turn around that makes me feel better (very Byron Katie).  I found one and I feel better.  I still feel entitled to my feelings about the situation too, but I think the big sting is over.

Next work is how can I get over a hurt somewhere in-between passive aggressive and speaking up -- because sometimes neither is a choice.  Passive aggressive should never be a choice, but I still go there with some people who I don't consider good friends -- not sure if I'll ever change on that front.

Jen Hatmaker was a panel speaker at a conference about friendship.  She has the link to her discussion on her website and it was interesting.  Two of the speakers have books (one now, one out in September).  Guess what I bought?  More once I read the books.  (BTW, I really, really need to READ and stop buying books -- this might be the worst I've ever been -- oops!)

I'm doing a bit of a deep dive into friendships since that seems to be my work right now.  I'm annoyed with existing friendships a lot and feel some friendship scarcity too (which probably fuels a lot of the annoyance).  How can I be a better friend?  How can I expand friendships?  How can I stay connected to the friends I enjoy?

I'm going to work with coaching on this and see where I land.  Stay tuned.  I guess this is the next logical step in my growth.  

I'll leave with two pictures.  Tomato plants from fallen seeds.  Don't mind the dead wildflowers -- waiting for the big hornet nest to be taken out before I pull them.  Second picture is the strawberry plant that was a shell of nothing after the Japanese Beetles and now is back and producing.  I almost pulled it because it was so dead.

Have a good day.  I'm excited and a bit nervous -- but doing it anyway (hopefully without COVID).  Later gators.

FS Day

Part of the strategy to have a great week is living into Future Self things with intention.

Spanish class -- yep, even though I dreaded it, it was fine.  And, I decided to keep going.  As luck would have it, she opened up the new sign-up last night.  Same time, same night.  Decision made (a bit reluctantly, but my FS already thanks me.)

Dressed the part.  Here's a new dress from an Australian company, Play.  It's comfortable and girly.  Working on a wide braid for the side.  I have no idea how I got it this wide, but I was happy with the look.

Meditation after an ACTUAL WORKOUT (!!)  4 miles -- 2 of which were jogging (1/2 mile increments with walking in-between).  It felt so good to have an elevated heart rate.  I had company for the meditation.

Turned over some of the garden.  Zucchini plants were sucking -- I think the pots were too small once they got big.  They made about 8 nice zucchini over the season, but I decided to call it because the veggies were just rotting without fertilization (male flowers weren't growing at the right times).  I was getting stressed about it, so it was time.  

I also pulled the tomato plants.  Here's a funny story though.  Seeds from the cherry tomato plant FROM LAST YEAR, fell below the deck and grew plants -- 4 plants.  And they have tomatoes now.  Seriously?!?!  I picked a green bunch to counter ripen.  More are growing.  Did NOTHING for them and they are making fruit.  Nature (!!)

Also, 2 strawberry plants that were decimated by the Japanese Beetles are back growing with a bunch of berries.  Maybe I'm loving on my garden too much and that's the problem.  Ignore it = success.

What's up for today??  Whole lot of nothing.  SCS coaching call and a few errands if I feel like heading out.  Sleep was shitty and my stats say recovery day is in order.  Guess it WAS a workout (!!)  I'm switching up my activity schedule -- last thing I need is another injury or illness.

Speaking of which, I still haven't decided on lunch tomorrow.  This could be a big risk.  I'll chat with my youngest today -- he might not even be able to breakaway tomorrow.  

Intention is to find the great again today.  It's possible and it's totally in my hands.  Later gators.

Es Lunes

Hola.  El clase de español es hoy.  I have a love-hate relationship with this class.  Part of the "hate" is that it's an evening class (until 8 o'clock) and that means dreadful sleep.  It's 4/6 tonight.  Yo pienso que una parada es necesaria.  Maybe a break before level 5.  I can't decide -- level 5 is past tense and that feels important too.  But I want to practice what I know, learn more vocabulary and just take a beat.  I'll probably take this to coaching if I'm on the fence about it.  

I have a few options to consider.  Make a decision and make that decision RIGHT.

1.  Continue with Level 5 and "get it over with."

2.  Take a break and join in Level 5 next class block (about 6 weeks) -- of course, no telling the time of class (she has some classes at 9 o'clock at night).

3.  Take a break, but schedule some private classes for practice.

4.  Learn past tense from the Spanish workbook use.

Decisions, decisions.  I WANT a break, but maybe should just get it over with if she keeps the same time block for Level 5.

Yesterday was a good day in that I got my to-do list finished -- lots of things that I didn't want to do, done and dusted.  

As far as planning some fun -- not sure how that worked out.  Basically, my "inspired" plan is to do the things on the calendar solo if peeps canceled.  But, my energy feels low today and that makes nothing sound very interesting.  One thing that's occurring to me is going to lunch on Wednesday to speak Spanish is probably indoors.  Dang, I didn't even think about it.  Now I need to make a decision -- should I be the one to cancel?!?!?

Stay tuned for all my indecision for the week -- what a cliff hanger lol!

Anyway, it's Monday and Monday feels like a fresh start so I'm "expecting" to have a great week and see where that takes me.  I've said it before and I'll say it again (and again) -- hormones are NO JOKE.  This is a ride.  Keep going.  Keep trying.  (BTW, Oura ring agrees that my hormones are acting up -- basil temp is up and HRV is low.)

Another Monti picture because he's adorable.  Later gators.

Organizing Sunday

I had a nice day yesterday.  My back is okay from the hike -- no walk today (just yoga) and expecting to up the jogging part of a walk tomorrow.  Lunch was also nice -- hot, but sticking to outside for now (and forever??).

Sleep -- still in the tanker.  I have one more thought for getting better deep sleep and that's to stop drinking kombucha in the afternoon.  Maybe it's the afternoon caffeine and sugar.  Good lord -- do I need to give up everything?!?!  I read the list of What To Do To Get Deep Sleep and I do it all.  Maybe it's not enough for me to limit caffeine, I need to eliminate it though.

Books ...

I finished this one and it was good.  Not as heavy as I expected it to be either.

I said I wanted a lighter book next, but instead chose the heaviest book -- thought I could use some perspective.

Today feels a bit like a Monday.  House chores, run to the grocery store and the usual (Spanish, rock painting, etc).  I'll write up a schedule for the week too.  I have a few plans on the calendar, but all unstable.  I'm expecting possible cancelations so I want to make a back-up plan of FUN.  

Organizing Sunday -- feels good.

I leave with a handsome Monti picture.  Love this little butt.  

Have a great day -- later gators.

Date Day with Hubby

Changed things up a little yesterday.  Postponed lunch until today after a lake hike.  That took the "rush" off yesterday morning.

And I did a BIG thing -- jogged a bit during my walk.  About 0.8 miles worth.  0.6 on an easy downhill and the 0.2 back up one side of the street.  (There are no flats in our neighborhood.)  My back held.  I wanted to run more, but I was careful.  Muscles are tired this morning, but so far everything else is hunky dory.  

Instant better mood after elevating my heart rate into the usual zone.  It felt like BLISS -- and I'm not exaggerating.  Please, pretty please, with sugar on top -- let this be the start of something good.  At this point, I'll take ANY progress.

BTW, I worried all evening and night that I was going to wake up to severe pain again.  Good lord, I'm traumatized by this injury.  Sleep stats are still in the tanker -- what can I do.

New rock painting idea and it's easily one of my favorites.  I did 2 rocks the same and more to come because they are ADORABLE (if I do say so myself).

I did a few other quickies --  not my favorites, but will be good for leaving on the trail today.  I like the Santa one and I'll redo that at Christmas.  The fish started as birds on a wire -- I can't make a bird that doesn't look like a fish.

Today is an all-day hubby date.  Hike, lunch out and movie night at home.  Looking forward to it.

Hope you have a good Saturday!  Later gators.

It's Friday (!!)

Good morning.  I'm working on being a little more positive this morning -- through clenched teeth.  It's nothing horrible, but I'm in a funk and had 10 minutes of deep sleep.  I have no idea how to improve this consistently.  I'm sick of waking up tired.  Maybe this is peri and there's nothing that can be done.  Some days I hate being a woman.

I can tell I'm off since every little thing is on my last nerve (the list is long, but I won't bother giving it more energy).  It's times like this -- when I'm doing all the things and nothing is working, I wonder about medication.  It's tempting.

Anyway ... on to better thoughts.

Lunch date with hubby today.  We need to remember to do fun things TOGETHER too.

Otherwise, not much of a day.  I'm doing The Things -- Spanish practice, rock painting, long walk, reading, listening to coaching calls.  That actually feels good for today.  Basics ground me.

Latest rock painting copied from a picture -- rainbow lion.

Short and (sort of) sweet this morning.  Hope you are set for a good day and a happy weekend.  Later gators.

50/50 Day

Yesterday felt like a 50/50 day and my head wants to focus on the crappy 50.  Why?!?!  

Nothing bad happened, but my "fun" was taken away -- that's the thing that gets me most disappointed lately.  I seem to handle mishaps fine, but disappointment -- nope.  I guess I'm really good at hyping fun stuff in my head and then when it doesn't happen, I get pissy.

I went out of my way to stop at The Ginger Room teahouse to get a ginger juice before errands.  It's so good and spicy.  Just ginger, water and lemon.  Their juicer machines were down -- I've been craving this for days.  I ended up getting the ingredients and making my own version, but it's not as good.  I was hot, tired and disappointed.  It felt like a failed FS thing.  What would FS do -- take myself out for a ginger juice even though I don't have someone to go with me.  I little date with myself -- but nope.

Then my foster friend who retired a couple of months ago canceled the second week in a row on our Friday plans to hike.  First cancel with no explanation.  This one was her ex-boss from her ex-company wanted to pick her brain about a client over breakfast.   Here's an idea ... say 'yes, but not on Friday morning since I have plans.'  We rescheduled until next week, but I'm implementing the 3 strike rule on hiking.  I set my activity for the week based on the hike -- hiking alone worries me a little.  Looks like I have ANOTHER CANCEL ("reschedule" which is just a polite cancel) friend.

I'm trying not to be an ass, but this is one of my most major pet peeves about people lately.  Dang it, my time isn't flexible for their whims.  Manage your own dang calendar.  I manage mine and don't cancel because something else came up.  'Oh she can change times because she doesn't do anything.'  Change up YOUR calendar, not mine. Guess a boundary is going up around hiking.  Lunch cancelations are frustrating, but I don't organize around them usually.  

I need to think and regroup about tomorrow once I'm in a better headspace about it.

Anyway ... reading this book -- loaner from a friend so I want to get it finished.  Massive great reviews.  I've never heard of it.  Another heavy subject read though.  Next pick needs to be easy breezy.

I didn't schedule a coaching call this week because I didn't think I needed it and hubby ended up being home all week.  Privacy is hard when he's around.  Now I wish I had a call -- hard to get last minute coaching times.  Guess what I need coaching on?!?!  I need to figure this out because I'm so annoyed with friends lately -- and I know it's me.

I got text messages from 2 of my pals yesterday whom I'm having issues (my issues, but issues still).  Both text messages annoyed me.  One was a check in that felt like an excuse for her to brag.  The other confirmed why we didn't do a birthday celebration this week.  I could choose to look at both in a better light but I can't get there.  I'm assuming the worst based on past hurt that I'm not over.  It's totally possible (and maybe even probable) that this was just a thinking of me and wanting to share their life with me situation ... and I'm assuming something selfish.

Yep, I need coaching on this in a big way.

See ... focusing on the bad 50.  

Time for a regroup to see if I can salvage the week.  "Expect to be delighted" feels like long ago.  Hah.  Dang you 50/50 (!!)

Later gators.

Back in Business

Back in regular business today.  Cleaning crew and a lot of errands -- so many that I did a few yesterday to offload for today.  I enjoy an occasional errand day though.  I haven't had many since the pandemic.

My goal this week is to keep up Future Self stuff.  (BTW -- FS label is a little strange and I use it all the time, but I don't know what else to call it and that's the shortest way to describe what I'm doing.) 

After a big few days, it's easy for me to go in an equal and opposite direction to relax.  I can't keep up the pace of the trip, but I want to keep practicing FS things that work for me.  Does this make sense?

So here's a few things I'm doing ...

I'm focusing on plant based eating.  4 days of vegan eating was fantastic, but not realistic for everyday (yet), but 85%+ vegan is more than doable with a little planning.  

Exercise that's okay for my back.  Yoga and arms today.  Long walk tomorrow and a hike on Friday.

Social-ish calendar.  Hike on Friday is with a friend.  I set up a lunch date with my youngest at La Carrata for next week -- espanol and mi Hijo. 

Spanish work -- making a detailed schedule of what to practice each day is working well.

More reading, less TV.  I finished The Guest Book (Sarah Blake) and it was good.  Sweeping generational novel with some interesting themes.  Bookclub is in person on July 31.  I'm making a day of it and I'll tell you about it as it gets closer.  New book pick today ... stay tuned.

And ... REST.  Because I'm not used to moving that much since my back injury.  My body is fatigued and I'm going to listen.  I need physical rest and some mental rest too -- it's like I was "on" all weekend.  Doing all the things, showing up in all the ways -- all healthy, all good, but I need to back it off a couple of notches or it'll feel like pressure to do it all perfectly.

Have a great day -- totally feels like a Monday to me.  Later gators.

Day 3 Recap and Homebound

This was a fantastic little getaway weekend.  

Day 3 was a little stickier than the previous, but I still had a good day.  Here's a ramble all about the day.

Started with a 7 mile walk with an herbal iced tea stop at my usual teahouse.  I was super tired after the walk -- guess the hills caught up with me.

I drove into downtown for lunch, but I park in a lot just on the edge of the downtown area so that meant a big walk to the restaurant and lots more hills.

I was beat by the time I got there, but got a nice shade seat and two ladies (from Atlanta, now living in Asheville) started up a conversation when they saw me reading.  It was a lot of fun to chat -- got a good restaurant recommendation too.  

Lunch was the vegan platter again and a rice and bean veggie bowl.  It was huge (and I don't say that often).  I ate some for lunch, a big bowl for dinner and still a bowl for leftovers tomorrow.  Not kidding about it being enormous.  

I eavesdropped a conversation about antique shopping and it was about the exact place I was headed.  The local couple recommended a few other places too.

BUT .... there was no air conditioning and it was HOT -- I about melted.  Soaked through all undergarments and dripping everywhere -- could hardly think straight I was so uncomfortable.  I bought a few things -- 2 old bottles for flowers and a wooden box for paint supplies.  It's a great place and I'll go back when it's cooler and I'm not so pooped.  I'll also check out the other places too.

Spent the afternoon with a heating pad, in a/c, staring off into space because I was zapped out.  Spanish class rounded out the day.

BTW, second night taking Benadryl and no good -- crappy numbers.  Oh well.  I think it's hormones since my body temperature is up overnight.  

So much fun practicing this future me stuff.  Loved it all.  AND I'm happy to be going home too.

Oh, our hot water tank broke.  Parts ordered.  And we wait.  Guess cold showers are back on my list (!!)

And just because ... I liked this.  It's a good reminder for me -- I do this a lot.

Future Me Camp in the books.  Next one is in September in Denver.  Until then, I practice (after I rest -- I'm beat in the best way).  

Later gators.

Day 2

I'm happy to report Day 2 was an equally nice day.

I took a combination walk in the mountain area for a few miles and then walked downtown to have another matcha tea at the local teahouse.  I was the only customer since it had just opened for the morning so I sat inside sans mask.  Total of 6-1/2 miles and my back felt okay (tired and a little pressure but the tea break helped).

Sign on the wall.
I notice it every time.

The Green Dragon.
Matcha, coconut milk, honey,
turmeric and fresh mint.

Most of the cleaning is done and dusted (love a pun) -- all of the heavy lifting stuff (floors, bathrooms, dusting).  I need to finish the laundry and wipe down the kitchen and before I leave.  Easy peasy.  

Mrs. Harris Goes To Paris was just okay.  Cute premise, but something was off for me.  I didn't really like the main character -- she was obnoxious and stupid rather than spunky and sweet to me.  But it killed a rainy afternoon -- massive downpours so the weather and I timed that well.

I debuted the pin from the 1960s which I thought was apropos for the movie.

Same weather possibility today so I'm rethinking the order of things.  I might do an early lunch al fresco and the afternoon at the antique market.  I'm afraid rain in the afternoon means only indoor dining and that's a no-go for me.  I can do a leftover thing for dinner again since I have Spanish class tonight.

It's nice to have no timeframe today.  I felt a little pushed yesterday -- aware of the time so I could fit it all in.  

Sleep was substantially better since I brought out the big guns -- Benadryl.  As it stands, a single dose IMPROVED all my stats and other than restlessness, I was in the green for everything.  Hmmm.  It's curious to see the patterns.

Here's to a good and final day -- home bound early tomorrow since hubby is downtown for meetings all day.  I hate to leave the dogs alone for too long without a potty break, especially in the morning.

First thing on the list is a long walk and a swing by the teahouse -- going for an iced Japanese tea.  Turns out I like creamy things later in the day :)

Have a good start to the week.  Later gators.

First Day Of Future-Me Camp

I had a super fun day yesterday.  I made decisions through the filter of what would my future self would do ... and I did it.

Cut roses from the garden for my counter -- yep.  Check out an obscure vintage store -- yep.  Do a honey tasting -- yep.  Eat vegan and order something "different" -- yep.  Eat dinner al fresco while reading a book -- yep.  Order two kombuchas on tap -- yep.  Buy some things just because I liked them -- yep.  Text a neighbor to say hello and set up a gathering for next visit -- yep.  Decide to leave all the cleaning until today and enjoy the day -- yep.  

Here are a few pictures ...

Starter -- bigger than I expected.
Vegan cheese (GF) platter.
The flavors were so good.

Raw vegan zucchini rolls with
fresh pesto and sauce.
I have leftovers for today.

Vintage plastic bead bracelets.
1960s peacock pin

Evening bag -- 1960s
I think I'll use it for the wedding in September.
It has a matching coin purse.

Local pottery.

Basically, my future self did the things that came to mind -- all little things that added up to a nice day.  So often I think about doing something and then talk myself out of it.  I didn't talk myself out of anything yesterday.

Today is another fun day, but a different feel.  Morning walk and grab a green juice for later.  Clean until my back is tired.  Movie in the afternoon -- Mrs. Harris Goes To Paris.  Home for the evening.  Sleep was LOUSY last night -- all indicators not happy.  Thanks, hormones.  I'll try for better sleep tonight.

Food is leftovers split for lunch and dinner with farm tomatoes and cucumbers from home.  

I plan to be delighted again today.  Even delighted with cleaning and crappy sleep -- maybe :)

Have a good Sunday.  Later gators.

Expect to Be Delighted

Jen Hatmaker does this thing in the summer she calls Me Camp.  Goes away somewhere -- mostly by herself (friends come to visit -- she camps all summer) and does all the things she wants to do.  So I'm titling this long weekend Future-Me Camp because I'm heading out alone, doing what FUTURE ME would do, be, want.

The Denver trip for the wedding is going to be another Future-Me Camp.  That one's more on the challenging side -- being brave to do what's uncomfortable, but what I want to do, be, etc.  Asheville trip is all easy peasy and fun.

As Jen Hatmaker says during Me Camp -- "expect to be delighted."  That's the intention for this little break. Often my little break is to get some alone time and hibernate a bit.  This time I need to get out and about and DO THINGS.  2 weeks of limited activity (COVID isolation with hubby sick and baby-sitting dogs) has left me feeling housebound and ready to get out in the world.

Today is my only loosely planned day since I don't know how my back will feel after the drive.  It'll look something like unpack, start some simple cleaning (because I have a full, fun day tomorrow) and some sort of vegan dinner. 

Did I mention, Future-Me is doing a vegan thing this trip?  I'm shooting for 95% or higher -- just for fun.

What else is on the agenda?  Movie, thrift and antique shopping, reading at my favorite local tea house, walks, vegan dinners OUT and ABOUT (ie, no takeout unless it's leftovers).  Maybe even a super duper brave dinner tonight -- have to see what's what.  More on that tomorrow.  Of course, cleaning and Spanish class too.

Less TV, more books.  I'm reading The Guest Book for bookclub and it's really good so far (not to be mistaken for The Guest List which I already read).  I also have some non-fiction if the mood strikes.

No one to take care of except myself.  I'm really, really, really excited for that right now.

I'll end with a picture of the little seedlings my neighbor gave me -- all grown up and pretty for the summer.  I think next summer's garden will incorporate more flowers -- for the bees and for picking. 

Off to camp and ready to be delighted.  Later gators.

Trip Planning

Storms came and went ... and no big deal, thankfully.  We need the rain so that was a plus.

Rock painting is a dog that hubby knows (office dog in AZ).  It's from a picture of her curled up on a blanket.  Probably should have stuck to her face only, but if you know the picture I'm using, this makes more sense.

SCS coaching call was good.  I had a coach I've never had before.  We chatted about why I'm so irritated with friends right now.  All about me and some good ways to approach the irritation.  First step -- stop expecting to be irritated. 

I also know I need to make an effort to add some fun to my life again.  Sometimes fun finds me, but when it doesn't, I can be lazy about making an effort.

So in the name of FUN, I planned the trip this weekend to Asheville.  Hubby is coming home a day early so I'm going Saturday - Tuesday and I CAN NOT wait.  So many fun FS-like activities.  Stay tuned.  Nothing fancy, but everything that I want to do.

I'm curious if I'll get better sleep while I'm away.  Last night was the pits because twice the dogs woke up barking like crazy -- both times pulling me out of a deep sleep.  I had a hard time falling back to sleep so my sleep stats were one of the worst I've had.  I can't wait to have a few sleeps dog-free.

Dogs are pestering so I'll leave it here for today.  Hope you have a good one -- later gators.

Final Coaching Call and Storms

All week the weather app has warned of big storms this afternoon - high winds.  I'm charging all the things now and hoping for the best.  Storms starting late morning so I need to get moving for a walk outside.  Grand-dogs are NOT going to have the best afternoon (!!)

I had the last coaching call yesterday.  A little bittersweet because I'll probably never talk to her again, but not bittersweet to my pocketbook.  She sent a coaching exit worksheet that asked me to recap what gains I've made and the BEST parts of coaching with HER.  Of course.  Interestingly, no feedback for improvement for either her or me.

The final question was what did I want to talk about in our final coaching call and I asked her to tell me what SHE thought I had learned and where I could use focus going forward.  Guess I was the first to ask this question, but she made a list from notes from previous sessions and it was nice to see some of the things I'd forgotten about.

She recommended some books for going forward stuff (ordered one -- stay tuned).  She also said she was taking active clients through a survey about attachment style and sent the link.  I took the survey, but the results don't interprets me.

It was the most interactive call I've had and THAT'S what I wanted and never got.  Feedback ... a little back and forth.  She's still pulling HARD from regurgitating other people's work (she credits the source), but I don't think she's found her style yet.  Maybe she doesn't have a style.  I think anyone could learn to coach, but some have a talent for it.  I don't doubt she's doing-all-the-things to learn, but I question whether she is actually a high level coach.

Live and learn ... and I did learn so I won't regret my decision.  

Little bonus was she stayed in CO recently and it's only 25 minutes from where I'll be for the wedding.  I switched to the hotel she recommended in a nice outskirt of the city.  Lots of walking, restaurants, shopping, coffee shops, two big parks, etc.  I'm getting more excited for the solo wedding trip.  I even saw a book recommendation for a silly, feel-good beach read called Flying Solo.  Bought it for the trip.  I also checked out some vegan restaurants in the area.  I think it's fun to try full vegan restaurants when I'm traveling alone.  

As for today ... ANOTHER coaching call and I don't have a topic, per se.  I'll figure it out -- it's not until later this afternoon.

Rocks from yesterday.  The blue one is a paint-over of a dud so I needed to use a dark base color.  The paint doesn't show up well (probably needed to do all white), but I didn't want to waste the rock.  The other is a little doodle for leaving in the woods.  The back says, "Dog days of summer."  I've been putting a ladybug on the rocks as my signature.  I still need to get a lot better at lettering.  My handwriting is awful anyway and translate that to a paint pen on a rock -- not pretty.

I think today is a homebound day.  Since the storms are starting early than expected, I don't think it makes sense to rush for errands.  Fingers crossed we keep power and the big trees stay upward --- today is a day I hope the forecasters are wrong.

Have a good day.  Later gators. 

Success (!!)

Monday turned out to be a pretty dang good day -- not the most fun, but I ended up feeling super successful.  

Mammogram = check.

Spanish Level 4 = check.

Eating well = check.

Here's the skinny.  The mammogram appointment was at 12:50 with 15 minute early arrival.  I was leaving the parking lot at 12:53.  Super efficient.  

That left me time to visit the farm stand -- TOMATOES!!  Yum and more yum.  I made vegan "tuna" to go with them.  (Northern white beans, avocado, celery and spices -- mash up).  Had it for lunch and dinner.

Spanish was a challenging class.  It was a quiz hour and I did well.  Phew.  I was nervous again (dang), but I showed up and did it.  It was hard settling my head for sleep ...

... but I slept okay.  I think the biggest problem is my right side of my back is in bad shape and there isn't any comfortable position to sleep.  

I need to say 'no' to the bike until I can get into a sports medicine orthopedic.  This pains me to say, but 10 minutes of light biking and I'm down and out for physical activity again.  That's not going to work for me.

I need to do a chat on one of the Oura ring indicators -- Heart Rate Variability.  Mine is low (high is best). It's an indicator of fitness and stress management.  After last night's sleep, mine jumped from 34 to 48 -- YES!  (50 is the base of "normal" range). I need to understand it a little more before I write about it, but this is another fun thing to monitor.  When I'm doing the things I know make me feel best, the indicators improve -- proof of what my body is telling me.

Two new rocks yesterday ...

That was my Monday that was actually a good Monday --- because I made it one.  Hmmmm ... when will I learn?!?

Today is more rest that I expected because of my back.  I have the FINAL coaching call with my private coach today.  Stay tuned ...  

Have a good Tuesday -- later gators.

When Monday is A Monday

It's not a horrible day, but it's stacking up to be my least favorite day of this week.  Mammogram midday and Spanish late evening.

I don't hate mammograms but with COBRA insurance this is bound to be an issue at some point.  I'm not overly excited for the process either since my energy is so low and my monthly is heavy.  But, of course, it's super important.

Spanish class late in the evening is hard for me to concentrate and even harder to fall asleep after.  With 4 dogs, it'll be interesting.  5 more classes and then a break to practice and learn more vocabulary with the workbook.  I might sprinkle a couple of private lessons in-between.  Based on her scheduling, the break will be about 6 weeks.  This is my plan as it stands now -- all subject to change as we go.  I've taken 21 classes since late January.

That said, it's only a yucky day if I let it be one -- so I'm looking for the "delight in the day" as Jen Hatmaker says.

Hubby leaves in about an hour for a business trip.  He'll wear a mask and not see work folks until midweek, but the cost of changing the flight was astronomical (more than double) so he's heading out on the original flight.

I'm still working on big girl panties behavior.  I'm getting it together SLOWLY -- maybe a little too slowly.  Some journaling this week to see if I can figure out my headspace around why I'm resisting doing what I know works for me.  It's nothing crazy, nothing strict ... so why am I sabotaging everything? 

Found ANOTHER HUGE cucumber I missed.  Guess what I'm eating with every meal this week?!?!  Hah.

Dogs are going crazy about something, have to run -- this bodes well for Spanish class :)  Have a good day.  Later gators.

Hubby's Home

But is he still contagious??  Congested and juicy coughing AND testing positive.  I think he should isolate and wear a mask still, but he's loosely doing both.

I told him last I read, CDC would still require him to wear a mask for another 4-5 days.  I haven't read the latest (hold on ...).  Yep, still correct.  Dang, I feel like I got exposed again.

As for me, I tried a 10 minute Peloton ride with a little standing, but very light.  My back was wonky a bit last night, but it's fine this morning.  I'm on the fence about doing occasional short tries on the bike.  Do I need to build up or is this causing healing to backslide?

The cucumber plants that I have left mixed in with the wildflowers.  They're growing on the trellis, but also swooped down on the ground and made friends with the tall flowers.  I decided to look more closely to see if there were any cucumbers since they're very few on the trellis part.  Yep.  Missed a bunch lost in the flowers.  One HUGE mama.  I also missed a little fat mini cucumber that's now oversized.

I didn't think I had any cucumbers ready.
Oops, they can hide so easily.

More thunderstorms last night meant my grand-dogs going berserk.  Poor babies.  Dang, I hope we get a break from overnight interruptions.  That said -- 45 minutes deep sleep and all other indicators were in my normal range.

Still feeling like poo from my monthly and it's nice to have nothing I need to do -- heavy advantage being retired.

Have a good Sunday.  Later gators.

A Little Recap ...

... of kind of nothing.  Plain Jane days this week.  Things are picking up for next week though.

Continued rock painting using Cartoon Me.  I watched another doodle video and want to try a few more things next week.

I got little rocks with a hole drilled in each.  Maybe ornaments or gift tags.  Probably too clunky (and too little kid-like painting) for a necklace, but maybe if I can try something more grown-up.

Me and Duke.  He has FOMO and with lots of dogs around, he has to be on top of me.  Bed early to avoid storms, but no luck.  Little chihuahua is FREAKED OUT by the thunder.  Poor baby and poor me.

Got my monthly last night.  Stayed away from sugar.  Up and down most of the night because of storms and dogs ... BUT, got 46 minutes of deep sleep (best all week).  Wonder how much it's related to sugar and monthly?

Chatted with a foster dog friend and she's interested in joining me for some walking and hiking.  Yea, a new hiking partner.  

Okay, dogs and more dogs need me.  Hope you have a good day.  Rain, period, quarantine -- that's my Saturday :)  Later gators.

Dodged the Germs??

As crappy as I've felt these last few days -- headache, low energy, Oura ring saying I might be getting sick ... NOTHING.  Looks like I've dodged The Germs.  Technically, tomorrow is the last of the exposure range days, but I feel fine this morning.  My stats were back to usual for overnight for temp, HR and respirations.

Grand-dogs are coming in a hour -- super early.  Let the fun begin.  My energy is still tanked so that's a bummer.

I also twinged my back cleaning THIS up ...

Big wind and rain storm took her out.  Poor baby just recovered from the beetles.  I picked 7 cucumbers yesterday and it had about 15 more growing.  Good-bye Porch Snackers.  I cleaned it up, but still need to empty it out and fill it back up for later planting.  I don't think it can be salvaged.  BTW, the cans were filler for the bottom -- looks like I hid a secret soda addiction lol.

Book update:

Typical of this author.
Sad, but easy read.

So far, so good.
I like her writing style.

Rock painting -- cartoon ME.  I got the idea from a new program I joined.  It's art meets coaching meets journalling.  It's another SCS trained coach.  Only about $20/month (way more inline with what I want to spend).  It seemed to combine all my "things" so I thought why not.  I saw her getting coached on a call in SCS.  So far, I really like her program.  Stay tuned.  The art part is doodling which translates to rock painting well.

Cartoon Me with a
signature ladybug

My life coach sent a question form for completion before our last session.  She put a timeframe of 48 hours -- what?!?!?  This is the person who reschedules all the time, forgets to send coaching prompts until she reviews notes from our last session, etc. BUT I need to hop to it?!?!  If I get to it today, I will.  If not ... oh well.  I'm not sure if it disappears in the module when the deadline expires.  It keeps reminding me I haven't done it yet.

I had SCS coaching yesterday and it was good.  I'll write about it later -- hubby has to be in France earlier than expected in September so he's missing the CO wedding.  I got coached on going alone or bagging.  It's too long of a story for this morning.  Having 40 minute session instead of 20 makes all the difference and 3 sessions in, it's way more effective than the personal coaching.  Live and learn -- but also I just qualified for the longer sessions so this (expensively) bridged the gap.

I'm back in the place where I find myself all too often ... picking up my big girl panties and trying to get things moving forward again.  I feel like the girl who cried wolf, but I'm howling again.  Good grief.  Keep going is a good motto for me, but maybe it should be DON'T STOP.  Hmmmm ...

Have a happy Friday.  Kids are heading to Italy -- safe travels.  Later gators.

COVID

Hubby tested positive yesterday morning.  He wasn't going to test again because he felt a bit better, but I told him his cough was worse and asked him to test.  He's in Asheville riding out the rest of germ days.

So far, I'm not symptomatic with anything COVID.  But, hormones are raging hard, sleep is shitty, energy is TANKED.  Fun times.

Kids are worried about exposure to hubby on Saturday (he wasn't symptomatic until Sunday night) because they have a wedding trip to Italy this Friday.  I feel for them, but it's not like they've been very careful otherwise -- not being reckless, but not being guarded either.  I think it'll be fine since they only saw him on Saturday.

Coaching call was rather blah yesterday.  She asked about continuing and I said no -- cost and lack of big coaching need was my reason.  Of course, I left out the part where I don't think she's a $$$ coach (yet or maybe ever).  I'll miss the chats with her, but that's what it's become -- just a chat.  Nothing feels like coaching -- more like a pep talk and cheerleading.  She sent a coaching completion form for us to discuss to rap things up for our last call.  And, I get so annoyed at her missing so many calls when she INSISTED a weekly call was necessary -- that was just a sales technique (an effective one for her, but still).  

Oura ring thinks my period is coming based on my nightly stats ... hmmmm.  We wait and see.  It's probably less effective at predicting when it's peri and everything is wonky.

We FINALLY got rain last night.  Huge torrential rains while it was sunny (no rainbow though).  I took pictures just because I haven't been taking pictures (and I was looking for a rainbow).  I get a break from watering the plants this morning.

I hate to beat a dead horse (but I will) -- I'm in a shitty hormone low.  When will peri end?!?  It's been 2 years now.  I'm ready.  I'm 52 (average age of menopause).  Let's do this already.  The sludge that I feel when hormones fluctuate is awful.  My energy is so low all I want to do is absolutely NOTHING and that doesn't even sound appealing.  

My gloomy doomy prediction -- hormones this week, COVID to follow.

Big girl panties on and I'll do things anyway (and reluctantly).  Looking for a "perfect" day of all things to see if that helps my sleep tonight or maybe nothing helps when I'm in a hormone fluctuation.  I also need to add a bit of fun to the week -- which is getting harder to do, but I'm trying to find something.

I canceled the cleaning crew today.  Even though hubby is gone, I've had a very direct exposure and am in the prime range for getting sick.  

That's all from gloomy me.  Hope you're having a good week though.  Later gators.

Happy 4th

Woke up to hubby testing for COVID.  He has some cold-like symptoms -- all nasal right now.  2 tests, 8 hours apart and still negative.  Our hiking plans are a fizzle.

As far as me -- I'm improved.  Back feels good.  Sleep wasn't great, but better (38 minutes deep sleep).  I'll treat today like any other day since hubby is staying clear.

Nuts.

I finished "How to Kill Your Family" -- it was clever and fun.  I'd give it a read recommendation for the unique story line alone.  New pick today.

I suppose we'll all be mixed up this week with Monday feeling like a Sunday.  A big old nothing for the week except chores and other obligations -- cleaning crew, dog grooming and 2 coaching calls.  I need to plan a little fun (and it can be little).  Grand-dogs come this week and it's me and 4 dogs for 10 days.  Hubby is traveling and going to Asheville to do yard work over the weekend.  Good news is I'll head to Asheville when he gets home -- for sure some fun for that trip (as well as cleaning).

Of course, all this depends on how hubby feels.  If he's too sick to travel, I'm sending him to Asheville.  Gosh, I LOVE uncertain plans hahaha.

Speaking of plans -- a little impromptu overnight for some of the girls in the family has become a big group heading to Chattanooga for an overnight and Wine Over Water.  My sister and aunt are coming to Atlanta for 5 days too -- so lots and lots of family fun in October.  This is one of my focus goals -- more time and energy with people who mean the most to me.  BTW, I've lived here for 9 years and this is the first time my sister is coming into town -- I'm so excited.

Have a happy 4th (!!)  Later gators.

Rest Day

Oh my lord, I'm tired.  Super fun day yesterday and SO MUCH WORK!  

Sleep (not surprisingly) was garbage.  My back started feeling wonky by the end of the evening and I couldn't get comfortable last night.  Big dinner, lots of sugar, 2 margaritas = 8 minutes of deep sleep and red zone for restlessness.  

Today is a REST, REST, REST day so my back recovers.  Guess I still need to limit.

No pictures because I was so busy hosting.  Hubby enjoyed the fun and that's everything.  

As far as the food -- everything turned out with one flop.  I made hollandaise sauce for the crab meat -- looked perfect and I was keeping it warm on the stove and forgot about it.  It totally broke.  Dang.  Good news is I hadn't added the crab yet.  Did a quick butter and cream sauce instead.  

Bread and Butter pudding was good -- so they said.  Hubby left it cooling on the counter last night and forgot about it.  No leftover pudding, but lots of cookies and such.

Hope you have a fun holiday weekend.  My butt is doing The Least today and hopefully, full functioning tomorrow.  Later gators.

And STILL Cooking ...

I bit off WAY MORE than I can chew on this "simple" birthday meal for hubby.  Comes down to having to make multiple variations to accommodate food issues.  That's why I often skip this for me and just eat a pared down meal, but for my son's GF (who's mostly dairy free and gluten free), I'm making the other options.  I wanted to make hubby's favorites and that means dairy and gluten.

And, I'm making a few things that need to be made or assembled just ahead of eating -- rookie mistake.  

So I'm up to an alarm to get cooking early so I can rest my back at intervals today.  I'll also be taking some kitchen help today from the kids -- this I can't do alone.

Good news is the 7 day chocolate cookies turned out perfectly -- phew!  GF dessert flopped so went with an oldie, but goodie -- rice crispy treats.  Making creme anglaise this morning and B&B pudding for dessert.

Steak with a cream crab sauce and also GF crab cakes.

Wedge salad with homemade dressing.  Need to prep and chill -- that's the most important bit of a wedge salad -- ice cold.  I already prepped the rest of it.

Baked potato bar -- that's the easy button.  Hubby likes a potato with all the toppings.

Kids are making street corn salad and that rounds out the meal.  Veggies, dip and cheese for munchies.  Plus I squeezed 2 bags of limes -- margaritas, mojitos and such.

Dang, I'm tired already.

I wanted to make the creme anglaise yesterday but ran out of steam -- only 9 minutes of deep sleep the night before.  BUT, last night -- good lord, I got 90 minutes!  Best yet.  I can tell.  I'm noticing trends so I'll do a recap soon.

New book alert -- funny and dark.  About 100 pages in ...

Wish me and my back luck today.  Have a happy day.  HBD hubby #55.  Later gators.