Boundaries are HARD

This is a "mood" post so hang on to your hats LOL.

Caffeine is nosediving so I'm expecting to feel less anxiety as the week unfolds.  Only decaf coffee again (which has small amounts) and one caffeinated tea in the morning.  Somedays, a kombucha in the afternoon, but I'm switching to Kefir that's caffeine-free.

Blue is getting returned and that has me with all the horrible feels.  I turned that worry over to the universe (or I'm trying) and doing what I can while holding a FIRM BOUNDARY that I can't take him back right now.  I'm also taking a pause before I respond to an email from the adopter wanting absolution from her responsibility.  That's progress for me.  My paused response is to simply say that our rescue will find him a forever home.  Nothing more to discuss -- I won't reprimand her, but I won't "let her off the hook" either.  There was a lot more to her story and she gave up on him without trying anything of value.  It's her business, not mine, and I don't need to engage with her.

I didn't get to join bookclub because of the timing of everything yesterday.  It's not that it was such a horrible miss, but it was an example of not being heard when I said any day or any time other than Sunday afternoon.  I need a firmer BOUNDARY which is on the one Sunday a month that I have bookclub, NO COMPANY.  They "planned" for me to go to bookclub, but there was no way it could work with the timing.  I got run over because I didn't set a hard boundary.

Super Bowl.  Hubby was suppose to be in VA, but now is home.  I'm glad about that, but I don't want to host the game here.  Guess what?!?  We are doing the game here.  Ugh.  Whenever I don't HOLD a boundary it feels horrible and resentful.  I'm making the family do most of the food -- and I'm only staying up until halftime.  This boundary is holding.

Boundary setting and, more importantly, boundary holding is taking on a new importance again because hubby is leaving his job in May.  He'll be home while he looks for a local job.  Shared space + nothing for him to do = problems for me.  The thought of more work, more emotional work ... it feels overwhelming.  How many times do I need to stand up for myself because I'm otherwise unheard?  Sometimes it feels endless.

All the more reason to get my diet in feel good shape for FEELING GOOD.  GF is a must.  Low alcohol (still not drinking now).  Watch sugar.  Low caffeine.  Plant based focus.  All these things make me feel physically and emotionally the best I can and I need to be operating at the top of my game for what's ahead.

There is good to be found and I'll save that post for tomorrow. 

Here's for all of us ...  I know I could use a lot of these.