What a Monday!

I'm so grateful it's Tuesday!!

Let me tell you - the day was crazy and long and I was so ready for Tuesday to come.  The good news?  ALL my house chores are finished for the week (except errands, but those are no big deal).  It took me exponentially longer to do EVERYTHING, but it all got finished.  Ever try to change sheets on a bed with 5 dogs on the bed, racing through pillows, rolling in the blankets?  Cute and then not cute!

I told you I ditched the series Person of Interest, but I started another recommended one, Absentia.  This is my cup-of-tea in a big way.  If it were a book, I'd be in extra love, but it all comes down to the ending.  Fingers crossed for a good one!

Today is ME time.  I'm not working on anything else.

I'm passing on boxing (which I'm bummed about), but how can I say this in a lady-like way - I got me some gas and I'm taking no chances for boxing.  We do tons of floor exercises, high knees, burpies, etc.  Without giving way too much detail, it's become a run day for me :-)

I have a pedicure scheduled this afternoon.  Ahhhh ... I need it!  Then more of TV watching (it's suppose to rain all day).

Cheers to Tuesday!!  Later gators.

All the New News

What a LONG weekend - and not in the good way.  Kids land tonight and picking up their little doggies (both of whom have stomach issues and subsequent accidents times a hundred).  Fun times.

As they are leaving, the youngest moves back home.  Indefinitely.  Or until he gets a job, saves some money and is ready to be launched.  Yep, forever.

Where did my safe, quiet little life go?

I'm back to my regularly scheduled eating and it feels good.  The break was lousy, but it appears to be over for now.  Thank goodness.  That was a battle.  The war rages on ....  *dramatic pause*

During my fall-off-the-wagon eating phase this week, I ate gluten and was promptly rewarded by a big old cold sore.  Yep - I simply refuse to learn!  It's big, but a quick healer at least.

Since I was stuck at home this weekend, I tried a Netflix series "A Person of Interest."  Lots of recommendations from Instagram peeps.  I watched 3 episodes - sort of, while I did other things - over acted, too outrageous, not my cup of tea.  It tries, but missed the mark for me.

I'm still reading the book about the 100 year old man (too lazy to look up the title right now) - fiction, Forrest Gump type story.  I like it when I read it, but it's not making me WANT to read.  Does that make sense?  I have a bunch of other "samples" I sent to my kindle, but I need to finish this first.

My Stitch Fix came for pictures.  Did I mention we switched to our usual photographer for these pictures?  The other lady "forgot" to mention the additional charges of $500-$1000 for the actual pictures.  I kid you not!!!  Good lord.

Anyway, I need to open the Stitch Fix and try things on.  That's the number one rule - TRY IT ON!  My very favorite skirt was my least favorite from looking at it.  My friend who recommended Stitch Fix told me THE RULE and she's spot on right!!  I cheated and looked at the options online and nothing is wowing me from the pictures - hope I'm wrong.  Stay tuned ...

It's time for nails!  I need to figure out a day for a pedicure (this week) and a manicure (probably next week).  I like the SNS so much, I hate to stop it, but I had planned a break for a couple of weeks.  Still on the fence if it needs a break.  Pictures in a couple of weeks, after all.

Jack's trial adoption was a bust.  I drove 1.5 hours to have her meet me in the driveway to say she changed her mind.  There are some days I really can't stand people.  We can't get this little guy adopted to save our soul.  He's a sweetheart - I don't get it.

My workouts have been good, but no boxing last week.  Back to it tomorrow (hopefully).  Today is a rest day because ME + 5 dogs.

I have lots of house stuff to get finished today.  It's a bust of a day, so at least I can get stuff off my list.  I'm planning some good ME time this week.  I need it!!

Some motivational news this weekend though.  I've mentioned before, hubby loves to take pictures of me and send them to me.  I wasn't unhappy with the picture - first time in a long time.  That same day, youngest asked me to send him some pictures from our Paris trip.  I see the difference - finally - and just in time for my week of struggles LOL.  It prompted me to get my butt in gear again.  I want to continue moving forward. (For some reason all the Paris pictures are off my computer - lord help me and technology - still on my phone, but not showing up on the computer - so no BEFORE picture.)

 

All the Littles and me in the dog-toy room (baskets on the floor filled with toys!) - they like to hang out in here.

Okay - all that picture drama took up time!  Best get going on the chores before it's time to take the dogs out (3 shifts of walks!!).

Later gators.

Granny Panties

I need my big girl, granny panties today.

(PS I wear granny panties - proudly.  Long gone are the days of thongs LOL.)

First, I'm in granny role today.  Grand-dogs for 5 days, starting this afternoon.  I love them.  It's fun.  It's WORK.  Chihuahua in charge - or so she thinks LOL.  Chihuahua ain't happy, ain't no one happy.

And, of course, I need to get my shit together and be a big girl and do what big girls do (things they don't always want to do).

I feel like I've beat this subject to death.  I listened to podcasts yesterday and it was helpful.  All the self-help and meditation, learning, listening -- it's helpful, but sometimes you simply need to do the work and not analysis everything.

Today is a DO THE WORK day.  Plain and simple.

First - a hard workout.  Still up-in-the-air on specifics.  It's a boxing day, but I'm on the fence about boxing.  I want to mindlessly run today.  I'll do something and I'm not worried about the WHAT it is - anything that works me hard will be what I need today.

Next - 2 minutes of meditation.

Next - eat healthy in 3 meals - no snacks.  Something that tastes good and is vegetable heavy.  Healthy food works for me.

Next - get some of my rescue work done.  It's been hanging over my head and I'm in full dread mode.  Off my list = stress relief.

Next - no negative head talk.  No obsessing over this-is-hard.  I'm doing a horrible job, etc.

Next - get to my list of house chores.  Getting stuff finished feels good and productive and helps me out of a funk.  Laundry, sheets and bills!

Next - make a decision about pictures in August.  She sprang "additional" charges on me and I need to decide if this is too much money.  It's like pulling teeth to get her to answer me and now I feel guilty canceling at this late of a date (but she's the one who didn't get back to me again and again AND she never mentioned these charges when I asked for pricing - yet, it's bothering me).  Once the decision is made, I can get over the feelings and the head negotiation.

Hopefully, this helps this funk.  Is this the start to menopause?  I'm so moody lately.  Funks left and right.  Good lord.

I have 5 HARD days ahead of me and that's the PERFECT time to get back to work on ME.  I'm focusing on the fact that by Monday evening, I will feel GREAT, the dog-work will be over and I can get back to some regularly scheduled ME stuff.  That's the plan, the goal and the focus.  Fingers crossed ...

Later gators.

Uninspired!

** WARNING --- Debbie Downer Post ahead!! **

I have a HUGE case of the blahs this week.

One weekend of indulgences and the MAGIC is GONE?!?!

That thought is super depressing to me.  And, it's taken over my brain conversation.  I know I need to work to reframe it, but here's the problem - I don't feel like it!  I work it out and the feeling doesn't shift because I'm stuck in the depressing thought.

My depressing thought, you ask?
One shift "off" program and I'm starting at the ground floor again (with feelings and cravings, etc).  When does the cycle EVER end?  I had 50 days of perfect eating and 2 dinners off plan through me off this much???

I know I was in the honeymoon phase with my new TOOLS.  Preaching it, loving it, living it.  I didn't expect a fall that feels this big though, this soon, from this little of an indulgence.

I'm doing the work, but I'm feeling all the bad stuff again.  Overeating healthy, snacking.  UGH.

With this crappy mood comes the focus back on everything crappy.  This week is blah.  People are "asking" of me again.   No respect for decisions.

Goodness gracious.  I thought I'd wake up feeling better today, but I'm not at all.

I'm not sure how to get this back in control.  As I'm waiting for a contractor, I'm going to listen to a podcast, work some of the thought equations (from Self Coaching 101) and see where that gets me.  I need to focus of better things, find some positivity in the next 6 days.

And the biggest thought bubble ... "see, I knew this wouldn't work."  This is the statement that is controlling it ALL.

Wish me luck or something good LOL.  Later gators.

Bouncing Back

Yesterday was a flop of a day.  Love, love, love our friends, but they dragged out leaving all day and it was a NOTHING day with not my best choices of food.  It messed up errand running and my self-plans for the day.

It's over.  Moving on.

Today will be the recovery day.  First a big, big workout SWEAT OUT!  I need to sweat!  Today is normally a boxing day, but I decided last night to forgo boxing for a home workout that would be exactly what I needed today (mentally and physically).

Also, no boxing because I wanted to sleep in ... for the first time in forever (yesterday was a later morning, but I went to bed after 2 am!).  Hubby took care of the dogs before work and they came back to bed with me for a nap.  I slept until 7:45 and it felt incredible.  I'm drinking my morning drinks and then the workout.  Dog walk to follow - even that isn't getting a priority today.

I have a late lunch with a friend at Zoe's Kitchen and then some rescue work.

Self care is TOP DOG today.

On the surface, this week is a drag.  Service guy tomorrow, babysitting dogs for 5 days - trapped at home until next week.  It's the kind of week I need to "re-frame" in my head or I will want to EAT some fun into the week.

I'm going to take a closer look at the schedule and plan some time for ME ... somewhere.

My coaching is finished with Holly for the Whole30 session.  Last night was my last video call.  I found out the PHB weekly calls are PHONE calls, not video.  Good and bad.  Video is kind of intense, but it's a great way to feel like you KNOW a person.  I'm still oscillating between being excited and wondering if I made a mistake about this next program.  I like Holly's coaching a lot and I wonder if it would have been better to stick with her coaching privately.

Anyway ... enough said.  Hope to make this a good, solid week.  Later gators.

Quick Hello

Monday.

It feels like everything MONDAY!!!

Here's a quick what's what.

Fantastic night last night.  I had a big, on point dinner.  I was really hungry for dinner last night - thought I'd have left-overs, but nope.  I had 2 drinks with dinner - Moscow Mules.  Refreshing and light.

Then we came home and stayed up until 2 am drinking wine, laughing, having the best time.  Oops.  But I don't regret it.  It was SPECIAL and worth it in every way.  I didn't drink heavily, but enough that I'm back to feeling poopy this morning.

Alcohol
4 hours of sleep
Big dinner

Not the best recipe for good feels in the morning.  The only thing to focus on today is to get right back to it.  NOW.

Today is a well needed workout REST day (planned this).  I'll hydrate back up today.  Already cooked up good food for today.  All the boxes are checked.

I have my coaching call this afternoon which is good news.

And better news ... no more drinking coming up.  This WAS the mother-load of weekends.  I enjoyed the drinking, but I also didn't enjoy it.  Two days is plenty.  Time to feel good again.

PS I will get back to it today, but that CRAVING part of my brain has other ideas.  I need to ignore it, put on the big girl panties, except and expect the cravings and DO THE HEALTHY THING.

Our friends are still asleep, but I need to get my morning going so heading off to meditate and hydrate!  Later gators.

Internet is back - post imported!

Now I feel like I’m extra strange and REALLY talking to myself.  Our internet is down after some bad storms, so I’m typing this post with plans to copy to the blog later.

I wanted to re-cap my day yesterday.  

The weather cleared in the morning so I was able to take a run/walk with Duke.  It was a little slippery and debris covered, but I’m glad we went out.  Total of 4.6 miles with walks up the steep hills.  We were tired!

Then a quick trip to the Farmer’s Market.  Not all the vendors were there because of the weather, but I forgot how much I like it.  I got cute painted mason jars with wildflowers - one for me and one as a hostess gift ($4).  Also, peaches, cucumbers, tomatoes and popcorn for hubby.

We had a great time at the lake.  She didn’t serve any munchies during the day - it was refreshing to not have snacks out.  There was some cheese and crackers before dinner, but I passed.  I also stayed with fizzy water until after 5 o’clock.  

Dinner was briquet, green salad, corn, mac + cheese and bread.  I stuck with the first 3 things and ate really well.  Not even tempted by dessert.

Now the alcohol.  I had 2 glasses of white wine and 1.5 glasses of red over about as many hours - no mixed drinks though (yea on that).  It was too much.  I woke up feeling yucky last night - tummy not happy and also this morning too.  My energy is sluggish, but my stomach feels better now that I’m up and moving around.  I paced the white wine well, but drank the red too fast with dinner.  I need to have another option to drink while eating - I know this, but didn’t put it into play last night.

Today is dinner out and something for the afternoon - less wine today.  I remember from other Whole30s that 2 glasses over an evening as no effect - over 2 and I start to feel it the next day.  I’ll see what today brings.  2 is my plan (over dinner) but we might be doing a happy hour too.

The best part is I didn’t feel pressure - by me or by others.  I enjoyed what I wanted and passed on other stuff.  No one noticed or cared - that’s how it should be, but often isn’t.  

This weekend is fun (people first) and I’m enjoying the food freedom.  I’m also happy to get back at it tomorrow.  So far, the STANDARDS are helping.  It’s not a total FIX for my crazy, but it’s a good base.  

After today, the calendar is wide open with stuff that won’t be a big deal.  I like eating what makes me feel good.  I also like that the feeling that a social event can be a dry one for me - and it’s actually a GOOD thing, MY choice, not a diet thing.

The hip term now is a “sober” event to mean no alcohol.  I don’t love that term because it implies it would otherwise be a drunk event.  A glass of wine isn’t a drunk event.  I think I’ll stick with “dry.”  I’ll have to be hip another way - ha!  

Off to clean up the house.  Later gators.

It's Here!

I'm almost finished talking about The (This) Weekend!  Woo hoo!

I took Duke for a long, long walk yesterday and did some of the "work" from Self Coaching 101.  It's a process that is best explained by the author.  That said, the very general gist of it is your THOUGHTS create a FEELING which leads to an ACTION and subsequent RESULT.  Plugging in any of these variables allows you to work the thoughts out or create the feeling you want, the result you want, etc.

It sounds strange from that explanation, but I PROMISE, it's simple and really helpful at times.

It helped me work out some of my stress of the weekend.  The WHY.  The WHY I felt it was so important to drink.  I'm still planning to have some wine, but I think I fixed a lot of the worry about it.  I'm back to being excited about the weekend.  

Without the longest back story ever, I can't do the explanation justice, so I'l leave it at that.  I like self-help stuff, but this is something special (in my opinion).  It such a fast read -- totally recommend the book!

Speaking of books - I finished Behind Her Eyes.  I sort of predicted the ending a couple of times and I was close enough to the actual twist.  It was still good.  I was in suspense the entire read and enjoyed it every time I read.  That's an A-rating to me.  I'm not sure if I'm headed back to my other book or starting something new.  I have the suspense bug now!

I planned to run with Duke today, but HUGE thunderstorms right now.  Guess it's a treadmill run.  Even if it stops, it's going to be too slippery to run the hills with the dirt run off on the golf course.  Dang - this is a rough one.  I have one dog hiding, one dog shaking on my lap and one dog who could care less LOL.  Honestly, I'm kind of shaking myself.  The wind is impressive.

In other, other news ... my continued BLOAT.  What is going on?  Does Kombucha help THAT much?!?!  I took a probiotic, but still gassy and bloated.  Nothing in my diet is different.  I need a fix before company LOL.  

The massage yesterday was great.  I found my person again (every time I find someone, they get a new job).  I already scheduled another massage in a couple of weeks.  She LISTENS to me.  It's never too hard and she has a really fantastic style.  I took the hour to focus on good thoughts and breathing. Came out feeling super refreshed -- instead of having a "sore" spot from being overworked in an area.  I'm the princess and the pea.  

This morning is busy ahead of heading to the lake.  Food to prepare, gift to buy (at Farmer's Market unless rain is an issue), beach bags to pack.  I'm up early with the dogs (nothing new there) so I'll have enough time to get it finished.  

Fair warning: probably 2 more days of talking about this weekend and then moving on!  Even I'm sick of it.  PS I'm not "thinking" about it in the way that my STANDARD is set up.  I'm not obsessing about HOW I'm going to eat/drink.  I'm focused on PEOPLE.  The thinking has been about the WHY I need the standard this weekend.  Subtle difference, but in my head it's a big one.

Later gators.

Project Healthy Body

I'm all paid up and ready to start week of August 23.

In the meantime, I joined the app they use to post stuff - forum kind of thing.  Anyone can join (paid membership outside of PHB) and then there are private groups that are by invite only.  I assume that will be the small coaching groups.

Right now, I'm not digging it.  Lots of people.  Lots of annoying posts.  "I don't like my morning coffee anymore and it makes my stomach upset, but I drink it anyway ... should I change that?"  Stupid question that's not a question.  Then cue the coffee-bashers offering black/white opinions.  Then the peeps who just want to chime in and offer NOTHING helpful to the conversation.

It's not clear who are the COACHES and who are the participants.  So many of the participants have turned coaches.  That also bugs me.  Just because you are losing weight, you are NOT a life coach.  You've been doing this for 6 months - good for you.  That doesn't qualify you to coach me.  I lost a lot of weight too and I'm NOT a coach (nor should I be).  I know some will make that transition to coaching, but there seem to be a lot - too many to be believable that they are all life coaches in the making.

I think when the small groups get going, it will be better.  I can tolerate "stupid" a lot more when I get to know someone.  I'm a snob - yep.  I don't want to have to weed through all the NOISE to get to good information.  I know some of this is excitement (something new) and nervousness (will it work) and self-esteem stuff (can I do it), but I'm not very patient with it - not patient when I'm trying to get my value out of this too.  Don't pollute my water!  Maybe when the actual coaching starts, the stupid will quiet down some.

I have my own insecurities too.  Most of the posts and comments are from people in a different place than I am right now.  This is their first go at exercise, first go at Whole30/clean eating.  For some their success at losing weight JUST happened (they are continuing into a second session of PHB) - it's fresh and exciting and tons of before/after pictures.  I don't see "me" in any of the participants - yet.  I hope I find MY tribe (as they say).  A big sell for this program is the community support and people connections.  I hope I connect.

The coaches that I KNOW are coaches aren't very active on the site.  This is the month of their break between sessions and I think that's why.

I still have high hopes for this program.  I went into Whole30 coaching knowing a lot already (i.e. no questions about the HOW to do it, etc), but I still learned a lot about myself (thanks to Holly).  She's my coach for PHB so there's that good news.

This seems like a negative-nelly post, but I'm excited to start - promise.  I'm going in with an open mind (even if it seems closed from this post LOL).  Open mind, but not BLIND.  This is one small part of the program that hasn't even started yet.  Breathe ... patience ...

Package Day!

It was a fun mail day!  Here's what I got ...

My favorite lip glosses - flavored and the best sale I've ever seen!
They might feel too sticky for some people, but I like the flavor and the shine a lot.
I bought the body gel as a throwback.  Long, long time ago, this was MY scent.
It's too sweet for me now as a perfume, but I thought it would be nice for the shower.
One sniff and I was right back - scent and music memories are so powerful.
I bought on the Philosophy website.  They sell it on Amazon too, but the sale was through the company. 

I LOVE packing cubes and this was my last need for organization.  It will hold all small electronics, cords, charges, adapters, bud ear phones, etc.  It's so nice - very well thought out.  Even the outside pockets are perfect.  It comes in lots of colors and size options- Amazon Prime day selection (thanks to an Instagram Influencer).  

Mini charger.  The family got the big one for Christmas.  This is half the size and a big special on Amazon Prime day.  I got the bright color to see it easily in a bag (or my new organizer on a trip!).  

The printed copy.  Can't say enough about it.  Tons of thoughtful gems.  I gifted it to a friend too.  This will be a go-to gift this year to my girlfriends.  It's a quick, easy read (most of the pages are worksheets).  Her podcasts are also good, short and FREE.  I'm a new, big fan.

I had a weird morning yesterday.  I totally TANKED at boxing.  Sugar drop like I haven't had in a long time.  I could barely finish!!  Monday, I forgot to get sweet potatoes.  Tuesday-Wednesday was my car issue so I planned to grab some during my next grocery run.  I was so tired after boxing, but I needed CARBS so I stopped at a store near the boxing.  I got the sweet potatoes and then grabbed a container of pre-sliced butternut squash to make ASAP.  Turns out it was bad - I opened it, smelled funny (I thought maybe a gas they add to stop it browning), cooked it -- one bite and I knew.  Turns out it was past due (ugh - I usually look at dates!!).  So I shredded the sweet potato and cooked it up.  In my crazy hungry state, I double salted.  OMG.  I thought I'd never eat.  I mixed it with some unsalted veggies and called it a morning.

Lesson learned about needing carbs.  I felt fine until I didn't.  We ordered takeout last night from a good Whole30 option restaurant.  I got an entire naked chicken and 4 plain roasted sweet potatoes (part of a dinner plan option).  This will cover me today and I'm freezing the leftovers for EMERGENCIES!!

Last night was some family STRESS about youngest and job situation. Long story, but the point is I held it together (inside too - not just on the surface).  It's all working out fine - imagine that.

Are you ready for this?!?  I meditated for 4 minutes yesterday!  I hit the timer a second time because I wasn't relaxed after 2 minutes.  Look at me go.  I'll start with 2 again today (no pressure to grow too fast LOL).

The theme of my meditation is This Weekend.  Lordy, I'm trying to use my STANDARDS.  The closer it gets, the more I have to stop myself from thinking about it!!  I'm breathing with thoughts of people first, etc.  My mind WANTS to negotiate the plan on the drinking.  I'm ignoring myself (trying at least).

Some of the issue is a bit of social nerves.  Sometimes I get this way.  We are going to visit our friends at their brother's house on Lake Lanier Saturday.  I don't know most of the people and what to expect and I feel a little nervous about it.  It's ridiculous - I know, but sometimes it happens.  Then, they are coming to us on Sunday.  Again, we don't know what time, etc.  This leaves me little room to plan something fun.  Sunday is a bit of a lame night for local stuff too. Without a plan, I get feeling awkward again.  Hopefully, once we are in the thick of it, all will be fine.  Maybe this is my BRAIN trying to convince me I NEED to drink.  Who knows - is it this diabolical?  LOL.

I get "social nerves" so I PUSH myself to be social, entertain, cook for people, get out of my box.  This is one of those things I've done well with over the years.  If you knew me 20 years ago, I'd be very, very quiet and unlikely to entertain, etc.  I wanted to be someone different, so I became someone different.  When the nerves rear up, I push through (sadly, with a glass of wine to ease the transition most of the time - this is what I'm trying to avoid this weekend).  Liquid courage.  I don't want to use wine as a fix and I want to use Worth-It strategies for all my food and drink.  Running to a glass of wine the minute I meet these people is NOT part of that plan.

I'm still facing some bloat this morning.  Now it's sweet potato bloat.  I'm starting the probiotic again today.  Kombucha seems to help me with digestion, but I'm not drinking it for a couple of days (because wine Saturday and Sunday).

I'm a hot mess!!

This is a super long post - I needed my "therapy" this morning!  I've been a chatty Cathy lately.  Happy Weekend!  Later gators!

Yesterday and Today and Tomorrow

I got my ME stuff finished yesterday.

Starbuck - check.
Eyebrows - check.

Workout ... I decided to run with Duke outside.  It was early, overcast and he needed some energy out.  It was a good workout.

I got the car back.  Eldest brought the grand-doggies along and they LOVE me now!!  They were always shy before, but they jumped on my lap, wagging and licking.  It was sweet. I wonder if they'll love me when they find out their staying for 5 days next weekend!!

I used the gift certificate for the learning class, The Great Courses.  Here's the deal.  It was a part of a very generous birthday gift box - super nice and very appreciated.  The gift card was for $25 so I figured that's what the courses cost - give or take.  Most of the classes are HUNDREDS of dollars!!  WHAT?!?!?  I found the SALE section and found a series on brain health as you age for $30.  It was awkward - do I spend tons of money on something I don't know if I want or do I give it back to her and say I can't use it?  Most of the sale stuff was crappy (and dated - bad reviews, etc).  Thank goodness I found this class ... it was this or cathedrals of the world.  Stay tuned ...

The suspense book is super suspenseful (Behind Her Eyes).  It took a strange turn last night - maybe a little too strange.  I'll have to see.  It reminds me of 2 movies that I can't remember the names of - helpful, huh?!?  Oh wait - The Skeleton Key.  The other movie was just out in theaters and I liked it (same strange happening), but no name coming to me right now.  I'm reading on (of course) and have my theories of the ending.  According to the reviews, I'll be WRONG!!  Yea - I love a great twist and a great ending.

Today is a boxing day, but my shoulder is sore.  Not good sore.  I'm not sure if it's sore enough to change up the workout though.  The next class I can go to is Tuesday so I hate to miss if it's not necessary.  I might go and not punch as hard if it hurts.  I'll see how it feels as I move around this morning.  I need to remember there is a 7:15 class too.  Some days 9:30 is late to get working out.  I also cut the pad of my thumb on a razor.  Dang it hurts and keeps bleeding and no bandaid stays put.  That's not enough to miss boxing, but it's will be gross in the gloves (I'm sure a bandaid will slip off at some point).

And finally, BLOAT.  I feel really bloated and crappy this morning.  Magic is not happening.  I have no idea why.  When this happens, I'm more inclined to throw in the towel at night and say screw it - not working.  I need to wait it out and stay focused.  Today was a planned try-on-the-jeans day.  Canceled until further notice!

This weekend is fast approaching (with bloat happening too).  My first off-plan since I started with the coaching.  I'm trying hard to use 2 of my STANDARDS.  People first, food second (or 3rd or 4th).  No thinking (obsessing) about it - use the worth-it method of Whole30 during the weekend and no prior plan needed.  Oh boy, it's hard.

I keep thinking about it, stopping myself, picturing the people-first stuff.  I hope and NEED this to work.  It's the mother-load all at once.  A WEEKEND of stuff!!  And, it's SPECIAL.  My call with Holly is Monday - post weekend.  It's the last call.  I had a choice of dates and I picked AFTER.  Now I wish there was a call before too.  I could use a pep talk.  Maybe I should MEDITATE on it?? (Every time I typo this word to 'medicate' ... that works too LOL.)  Maybe 3 minutes ... (who am I?)

Tomorrow is a scheduled massage!  Yea!!!  And, I kept plans off the calendar because I need to get ready for the weekend.  ME first tomorrow.

I've babbled on and on.  More to say, but for another day.  Later gators.

Well played, Universe.

Man oh man.  The Universes loves to TEST a new resolve.

Happy thoughts, happy day.

But can you sustain it with a tire blow out, dog puking, no car for the day and phone hassles all day long?!?

Sort of.  I did fairly well.  I stayed in the "zone" until evening and then dog stuff got the best of me and I had a moment of "despair" and then reminded myself of my happy thoughts which sent me into a fit of "whatever - this is stupid anyway."  After all that, a temper tantrum, a few breaths, I got HAPPY back ... sort of (i.e. I went to bed and read more of my FANTASTIC book which got me totally distracted and DYING to know the ending).

This is another extra early morning.  I need my eldest to take me to get my car before he goes to work.  They called to say the car was ready 20 minutes before they closed last night.  That was helpful.  Something has to drop off my morning routine today so I can get ready.  Given my day yesterday, I think I'm heading to the treadmill for a stress-free quick workout and a short dog walk to follow.  I'll take them for a longer one tonight.

I need to focus on some good stuff today.  I think a Starbucks is in my future (it's been too long, my friend), eyebrows because good lordy they are fluffy and I'm going to select a learning class that my friend gifted me (more on that once I know more).  Cleaning crew this afternoon.  Love-hate day with that ... yes, I'm very fortunate to have someone clean, but having to stick around and control dogs for the afternoon is a pain-in-the-butt.  I hear what I sound like - I'm aware.  And, yes, not my happy thoughts (see, I caught it) so now I'm focusing on the happy of it.  Take that, Universe!

Meditation Day 3.  Two minutes is a good amount of time for me (meditation wimp), but the trick is REMEMBERING to do it!  I laughed yesterday because I read that if you are interesting in starting meditation - start easy - 20-30 minutes/day.  Ha!!  Wonder what they would think of 2 minutes LOL?

On that note, I better go and MEDITATE and get this morning going.  Later gators.

Tuesday Things :-)

Good morning - yep, it's an early one.  Hubby up for an early flight so we're ALL up!  3 dogs is suddenly easy though.  Perspective!!

Amazon Prime day yesterday.  It was kind of annoying since it stopped me from my regular amazon stuff with the website crashing.  I wanted to look up a few books and couldn't get on.  I managed to buy a portable phone charger to have in my purse - half price.  The family has the large size and really likes it.  Thanks for the heads-up Instagram influencers!

After the grand-doggies left last evening, I had the sudden urge to EAT ALL THINGS.  It came fast and furious.  Eat to relax (only 3 dogs now), eat to reward (I made it through), eat for pleasure (I was stuck at home this weekend).  I noticed it and ignored it (after I threw out some shredded cheese left-over from hubby - just in case - just a little bit!!).  Progress on that.

My stomach is still strange last night and this morning.  I think it's ovulation time.  The last couple of years, ovulation is like a mini-monthly time for me.  Bloat, cravings, water retention.  That might be contributing to my cravings last night and my stomach problems too.

Boxing this morning and I'm looking forward to it!  That's a nice change - I usually am in dread mode.

I read an article warning of drinking water with lemon for the health of your teeth.  Can't ANYTHING just be GOOD?!?!?  I'll ask my dentist next time I go. Me and teeth - protect at all costs - I hate the dentist!!  I'm low on lemon so I had a tea last night - I missed the lemon water.  Who am I?!?

The suspense book I mentioned yesterday (Behind Her Eyes - Sarah Pinborough) ... OMG ... so good so far!!  I'm actually in savor mode trying to read more slowly and make it last.  I hope it stays this good!!

I got some yucky stuff off my to-do list yesterday and that feels good.  More to come today.  I need to get ready for company this weekend and I don't want to be pushed.

I also mentioned I'm back to TRYING to MEDITATE.  I listened to a podcast, Minimum Baseline, recommended by my coach.  It talks about baseline STANDARDS - just what I was telling her I was trying to figure out.

It's extremely similar to what I call my STANDARDS, but she adds a little more.  If you want to start something ... exercise, meditation, etc ... start with very, very, very little.  Enough to get you to do it and start believing you can.  If you decide to meditate 10 minutes a day and never actually do it with regularity, 10 minutes is TOO MUCH.  Think little and then go even smaller.  Build the baseline.  So I'm "meditating" 2 minutes a day.  Don't laugh - she recommends starting at ONE minute, if necessary.  I'm already an overachiever LOL.  I put it in quotes because I can't figure out what to do ... breathe, tap, focus on a word, etc.  I set the timer on my phone and voila ... it happens.  I'm curious if this will be the stepping stone to actually getting into meditation.

Happy thoughts yesterday and it was a happier day.  Go figure.  Can it be this simple?  Probably not LOL, but let's see.

That's all from the home front.  Hubby is gone all week and it's a bummer to be on dog duty round-the-clock.  It makes for a long day.  But ... HAPPY THOUGHTS ... so I won't dwell on it!

Later gators.

From thought to action

I'm putting my STANDARDS into play - trying them out, experimenting a little.  The one that's surprising me the most is the DON'T BUY IT.

I didn't realize how often I talk myself into buying stuff (often healthy) that my crazy mind will talk me into eating later that day (and that's the subconscious plan all along).  Dang.

I had my usual daily trek to the store (and twice yesterday after I bought the wrong herb - flat parsley instead of cilantro - what's wrong with me LOL).  Every time I shopped, I thought about buying something I didn't need ... bag of cherries, cheese for this weekend, less-than-great watermelon, a bunch of ripe avocados (huge sale).  Most was healthy stuff, but nothing I needed to eat NOW.  And, as it turns out, I've met ME before and this is exactly what I would have done had I bought that stuff.

This STANDARD is here to stay.

I'm also using the DON'T OVERTHINK it STANDARD this week too.  My first off-plan weekend is this coming weekend.  Company Saturday and Sunday with a lake day.  Drinking, eating, etc.  I decided no specific "rules" for this weekend other than use the Food Freedom guide to worth-it or not-worth-it.  And I'm not thinking about it anymore.  I'm curious if this will work.  I need to reread that section of the book before this weekend - just to have it fresh in my mind.

I'm reading an interesting e-book sent to me by my coach, Holly (I still smile whenever I say 'coach' - it sounds strange).  I can't figure out how to import the pdf here (i.e. not tech savvy).  I actually ended up buying it on Amazon because I want to reference it more and do some of the worksheets.  It's 154 pages, so my printer is not a great idea.  I actually looked at having it printed ($120) so NOPE.  Then I googled and it was on Amazon - $17.  DUH.

Self-Coaching 101 - Brooke Castillo.

It's well worth the read!!  I can email the free pdf, so maybe it can be found elsewhere too.

Remember My Happiness Project - my year of searching for happy?  Brooke suggests (and supports) if you want to be HAPPY, think HAPPY thoughts.  It's that simple.  Of course, she explains and works you through this idea, but on the surface, it's that simple.  One of my SLIDES lately is I lost HAPPY.  I worked really hard to find it, keep it and then ... poof ... it was gone.  Perhaps what made me happy was believing (i.e. thoughts) that I was happy.  Yep - interesting.

Speaking of reading ... I ditched the 100 Year Old Man book (just temporarily - it's good so far) in favor of a suspense book.  I LOVE a good suspense book and this was recommended by a friend.  It gets mixed reviews on Amazon - mainly that there is a big hole in the plot after you finish.  That's the case in many suspense books/movies/etc.  If it's enjoyable while I read it, I'm all for it.  Most reviews say the ending is AMAZING.  I'm all about the ending!!  I am TOTALLY in the mood for suspense, so I switched.  Behind Her Eyes - Sarah Pinborough

I used the portrait mode on my new phone this weekend.  Look at this picture!  The camera is great!  I took pictures of all 5 dogs, but this was the best one.  Maybe I should edit and lighten it a bit.  Lordy, he's a beautiful dog!

My Duke.

My grand-doggies leave this evening.  Yea!  I love having them, but 5 is a lot and I'm stuck sleeping in the spare bedroom.  The bed is too soft for my back.  Good to remember when we buy another bed.  They are back in 2 weeks for 4 nights this time - oh boy!  If Jack is adopted, they can all sleep in my bedroom.  Jack and the chihuahua don't get along (she's super mean to him haha - chihuahuas are the bossiest!!).

My stomach is wonky this morning.  I think too much pork (in that I've eaten it for 4 meals in a row - not that I overate it).  Didn't I just say, no problem with the pork?  I froze most of it last night, so hubby can eat the final bit today. Threshold hit.

No workout today - total rest day because of the dogs.  My body is ready for a rest day, but my mind would like a workout.  Body wins on this one.

Today is rescue phone calls (all day!!) and HAPPY THOUGHTS.  I'm going to give it a try.

P.S. Brooke Castillo is one of the podcast recommendations.  Tons of good ones on her website.  I'm going to use her idea on Minimum Baseline to give meditation a go again.  Let's see if it works.  I'll be posting about it another day.  So much to post!!  Are you sick of my "born-again" stuff??  It's interesting and I'm glad to "find" new information.  I was in an info rut.

I leave you with a quote I found that's on-the-nose for all of this stuff ...  later gators.

"If you have the same damn thoughts,

you're gonna have the same damn day."

-Meadow Devor

Standards and Stuff :-)

I'm working on my healthy eating STANDARDS.

There's nothing written in stone ... yet.  I'm trying them out, modifying, adding, subtracting.  Here's my currently working list.

(1) No desserts.  Cakes, cookies, candy, pies.  Those kinds of desserts.  I've talked about it before and it's a slippery slope that doesn't end well.

(2) Don't BUY it.  I "talk" myself into buying lots of things.  Get the cheese for the party now and it will be one less thing you need to remember later (then I eat the cheese before the party).  Buy this big bag because it's cheaper (then I eat twice as much).  You might want this in the upcoming week so best to get it now (then I eat it that night).  It's on sale (eat it before I actually need it and have to buy it AGAIN). You get the idea.

(3) Don't continue to THINK about an event (i.e. OVERTHINK).  It's exhausting, wasted energy and sets me up to give-up or give-in by the time the party happens because I've used up so much willpower and energy thinking about it ... over and over and over.  Make a QUICK plan in my head and then NO thinking about it again.

(4) People FIRST, food SECOND.  I've heard this before, but I don't remember where.  When I "think" about the party (or dinner or happy hour or whatever), I imagine the food and drink.  I FOCUS on that ... what will I have, I can't wait, it's going to taste great, I "get" to drink tonight, etc.  I need to focus on the company and people and activity.  The food should be an extra thought, a second thought.  Even when it's about food and drink (i.e. wine tasting).  I should focus on the people, learning something fun about wine ... you get the idea.  Always FOOD SECOND (or third or fourth).

It still needs some tweaking.  I need a STANDARD about getting right back on track when I indulge.  Often, a dinner party takes me off track for the weekend or the week or sometimes longer.  A dinner is a dinner.  Happy hour is an hour.

I finally approached hubby about Project Healthy Body and I got 2 thumbs up.  I knew it would be supported, but I needed to time it right -- show him that the coaching is good, explain why I want to keep going. He agreed and knows my issue is yo-yoing.  He also said I yo-yo'd up a lot this time (ouch).  The truth hurts a little.  I KNEW this, but part of me hoped no one else SAW it.  Of course they did!  AND I know this was a big one because I'm STILL not back to baseline.

Home workout today.  Cardio and lifting combo.  I ditched boxing because there was an instructor switch.  That's too much new for one class -- I'm still on a big learning curve.  Also, the class isn't until 10 am and I don't want to wait to workout that late today.  It's going to be a hard workout so I can take a complete rest day tomorrow.  5 dogs and just me all day long.  Getting a shower will be challenging enough!

I made nom-nom-paleo's pork recipe with Hawaiian salt.  It's so good!  Tonight it becomes tacos and freezer stash.  I don't usually eat a lot of pork, but it doesn't seem to mess up my stomach.  I use pork tenderloin instead of shoulder - less fat feel in my mouth (which grosses me out).  I sliced jicama on my deli slicer for taco shells.  I wondered what type of veggie, so I looked it up.  Turned out it's jam packed with inulin (a particular kind of fiber).  I can't digest inulin well and it can be DANGEROUS for all around me LOL!  I threw it away - bummer - not worth the risk.  Inulin is added to lots of things that are "high fiber" products (i.e. Fiber One Bars) and it's deadly for me.  I don't know if it would be the same naturally, but I'm not taking that chance!  I'll try it with celery root next time.  Crisis averted!

I'm rambling (hubby has 2 of the dogs on a walk so I'm siting in peace), but it's time to get moving!  Later gators.

5 Dog Friday and THE Jeans Update

Tonight we get our grand-doggies for the weekend.  5 dogs!  WOW!  We are THOSE peeps now.  The good news is Jack is finally easy - sleeping until morning, uncrated, surviving Duke.  My world took a big sigh of relief.

The downside to so many dogs is we are stuck home for the weekend.  I need to get some errands run today and then we are set to hunker down for the dog fest. (We are taking turns on a couple of "outings" but all quickies ... i.e. hubby golfing 9 holes.)

I have the Sunday boxing class on my radar again.  It might need to wait until these next few weekends pass though.  I'll have to see how I feel and how crazy the dog schedule becomes.  My body is adapting and it's a fun workout so maybe 3 classes/week a couple of times a month.

My "official" workout schedule went out the window.  I need to listen to this old bod to see what's possible right now.  I'm getting some good workouts, but not on a strict schedule.  Everything is rotating around boxing classes and the weather (aka how dang hot and humid it is at 7 am - the answer is usually TOO H&H!!)

I went out to dinner last night with a good friend.  Love her company and the conversation.  We ate Mexican and I had ceviche (also the name of the place so you know it's what they do well!!).  Three servings of different fish with a slice of avocado on each and a fresh salsa.  Delicious and very "on plan."  They also have the best club soda - very fizzy and definitely my favorite.  We walked around the town after.  Thursdays are food truck festival night and the town stays open late.  Tons of peeps, families, dogs and a good time.  If it wasn't still over 90 and crazy humid, it would have been perfect. I was drenched after walking around at 8 o'clock.  I needed some girlfriend time!!

I tried on THE jeans yesterday (a day early).  Progress.  I can imagine them fitting some day LOL.  The question is are they getting closer to fitting because I'm getting smaller or because they are loosening from trying them on?!?!  They have no stretch, but denim relaxes anyway.  Maybe some of both.

Today is a long dog walk day (maybe a little jogging too), Costco run and food prep for the weekend. (Oh, Releash stuff too - back to the grind.)

Let the weekend begin.  Later gators!

De-stressing

I was really stressed yesterday (and Monday and Tuesday) ... and it was driving me batty.

After flipping out a few times, I decided to actually THINK about what had my panties in a bunch and DO SOMETHING about it.

And I did!

Thing 1 -- I was upset about crating Jack.  Strange, I know.  Little guy gets so upset and he doesn't need to be crated.  It adds to my stress about getting home quickly and running to let him out.  I figured Duke might bug him, but no one will kill each other ... so I left him out of the crate.  AHHHHH ... stress gone.  He was happy!

Thing 2 -- Jack gets me up to pee at night and then up super early.  I decided to change that too.  Last night I didn't get up to take him out (he should be able to hold his pee just fine overnight).  It worked. He went back to sleep.

Thing 3 -- I accepted that he will be with us for longer than expected.  I wanted July to be foster free and it won't be, but after he gets adopted we can take a break if we want.  We have 3 weekends in a row starting this weekend, that would be much easier without another dog, but that's not happening.  Acceptance (instead of expectation) helps.

Thing 4 -- I ran most of my errands.  Some I'll do tomorrow, but some needed to happen ASAP ... period.  I was low on toilet paper.  I had no lemons.  I was low on dog food (one kind that gets mixed in).  That kind of stuff bugs me to no end.  Little things make my day better (as I sit drinking my lemon water!!).

Thing 5 -- my SUPER long nails were driving me crazy.  I kept the nail appointment and all is well this morning - no more keyboard clicking!

Thing 6 -- I ENJOYED my massage.  No rush, no worry, no guilt.

Thing 7 -- I turned off my phone in the morning.  PEACE.

Thing 8 - I didn't do any rescue work.  I have 8 peeps needing to call me back and I waited.  I didn't do any new work.  The break felt good.

Final Thing -- I played my favorite song on repeat for almost an hour LOL.  John Legend - All of Me. I never really noticed the song and, suddenly, I love it.  It's pretty and peaceful and it made me happy to listen to it ... over and over.  (Podcasts weren't doing it for me yesterday.)

On that note, I might turn it on again this morning :-)  I'll probably listen to it until I'm sick of it (that's my usual LOL).  Later gators.

Hump Day and ME Time

Another rollercoaster of a week.

True story:
Monday Jack met a family.  Turns out the family is crazy.  No adoption happening to crazy.
The End.

This put me in a funk.  Ugh.

Monday and Tuesday were a "dramatic" days.  Why do I always want to eat when I'm stressed?!?!  I ate okay, but way too much Monday night.  Where have I heard that before LOL?!?!

I FORCED myself to boxing class Tuesday morning and it felt good.  Punch that stress - not a bad outlet.

Then I tried to consciously feel the feels and not eat them (per my podcast listening and what every single emotional eating expert says - heard it 100s of times, but never did it).  I excepted that I felt bummed, upset, angry, disappointed, etc.  Maybe that's a start?? Who knows, but it worked yesterday.  I didn't overeat, but I was ALL those feelings ALL day long - not fun.  Is that a win?  Perhaps.

It was a productive day though and I got through a bunch of ugly to-do list stuff that was hanging over my head.  Onward and upward.

Today is a massage and SNS nails.  Double "fun" today.  I hate to crate Jack both times, but my Duke is being a snot to him (adding to my stress).  I need to get out of my head and ENJOY these things today.  That's the point.

I'm back to needing a catch up day (i.e. someone to be with the dogs) so I can run a bunch of little errands that are piling up.  Nothing is long, but they are all in different areas so it will take some time.   I counted on Jack getting adopted yesterday and that freed me up for the week.  Kiss of death - expectations!  Now it's stressing me to try to work this stuff into my week.  I'm babysitting the grand-dogs this weekend so I have to get this stuff done by then.  I can feel my heart rate up just thinking about it.  And 5 dogs all weekend!!!

I super duper need a break from having 3 difficult dogs at our house.  We finally made the decision to have a bit of a break from fostering and now we can't get our foster adopted! UGH.

Okay - sorry for the complaining.  I'm working on getting MY tanks filled and just when I make a little progress, I take steps backwards.  I think I need a podcast this morning!  Later gators!

Getting Older

The last few years, I've been pushing to figure out this healthy stuff.

Why?

I've seen what aging can do - friends, neighbors, family, patients.  Once you hit "a certain age," usually in late 50s or early 60s, life habits catch up.  Any bump in the road can cause a ripple that makes it harder and harder to get back.  If you have a healthy base, it's very likely you will get back, but without it, you start the slide.  The BIG SLIDE - suddenly you wake up and feel OLD.

Knee replacements!!  I know so many peeps who've had them.  My aunt who is active, exercises, eats well, etc., recovered and returned to better-than-before (even with a hard post-op).  My neighbor who is none of that, didn't recover in the same way.  She now designs her life to move less, get assistance (bus tour, not walking tour - things like that).  I hear her say, it sucks to get old and she's excepting it. I believe it was the healthy base that was the difference.  One had it, one didn't and because of the BUMP, the stage was set for different results.  If this bump happened in their 30s, my guess is both ladies would have a complete return.  One healthy, one not healthy wouldn't have made much of a difference.  YOUTH had them both covered.  It doesn't happen when you get older.  YOU must have yourself covered.

That's why the rush.

I'm not there yet, but it's coming.  AND I know myself.  This is a walk I can take - either side.  I've done both as a younger person.  I'm not naive enough to think I can't be the OLD story.

I've got the exercise thing covered well.  I have my standards and I've worked the last several years on cross training options that will support me for the next several decades. It's the eating thing I need to focus on now.

Add to this, I know metabolism declines as you age (hello menopause).  I know you can counter some of that decline with lifestyle.  But things get harder.

My "white tiger" friend who has the healthiest relationship with food I know (white tiger because she's so rare), mentioned post 50 (she's almost 53) that things have changed.  After a few vacations, the few pounds she put on didn't go away with a return to normal - like it has her whole life.  She said she might need to actually work to get the pounds off.  She said it's the climb in her 50s that's doing it.  It really is just a few pounds (I can't see it) but she said her clothes feel snug and she doesn't like that feeling.

When other people tell me post-menopause things change, I don't give it much credibility.  Why?  Because their lifestyle has also changed.  Retirement or semi-retirement, more social stuff, disposable income to vacation more, eat out more, exercise is a walk around the block, alcohol everyday, etc, etc, etc.  I believe my white tiger friend though!!

I need to be prepared because I know what can happen.  It happened in my 30s, but I recovered because I was young enough.  If it happens in my 60s, I don't know if I can recover from a slide to 75 lbs heavier.  It would be a BIG deal to my body - joints, energy, sleep, skin, etc.

The fight is on.  I'm betting on ME, but I need to put in a lot of work to make it happen.  I hope Project Healthy Body can be a good step forward.

Week of ME?!?!

Maybe, hopefully!  The week is filling fast - I need to stick to my guns and fit in the FUN for me.

Wednesday is a 60 minute massage.
Thursday is out to dinner with a good friend.
I need to schedule nails and eyebrows to finish out MY fun for the week.

I slammed my thumb in a door yesterday and cracked my SNS the entire length of the nail.  It doesn't seem to be the actual nail that cracked.  It's super sore, but looks fine.  I think the thickness of the polish saved my nail bed (at least, I hope).

I found some decent watermelon yesterday and I've been craving it for over a month.  I ate a bowl full, and, wow - huge gastric distress.  And still happening this morning.  I tossed the rest today (it's just me home for the next few days).  Didn't expect THAT!!

I went to my "other" grocery store last night for a quick trip because I forgot to buy lemons.  I don't shop there often because it's always hit or miss with produce.  Lemons were hard as a rock and 79 cents each so I passed.  (That's where I found the watermelon haha, the irony.  Lemon for stomach health and ended up with a watermelon stomachache.)  This morning it's LIME hot water.  Not bad actually.  I really enjoy the hot citrus water in the morning.  Trying new things - I need to do this more often.

I finished The Staircase on Netflix.  Wow.  Super duper interesting, regardless of your thoughts of guilty or innocent.  Well worth the watch.  Now it's back to reading.  After I read a good book, it's hard to start another for me right away.  I might not be ready for the subject matter of the next book  (Small Great Things) - maybe I'll search for another read in the meantime.  Books often have a RIGHT time for me to read them.

Jack is meeting a family this week.  Either today or tomorrow.  Fingers crossed.  It's not one of those done deal things though.  This family is FANTASTIC, but I'm not sure if Jack fits exactly what they want ... stay tuned!

My workout is up-in-the-air until I figure out my stomach.  It's much cooler this morning so I can decide a bit later.  I might need to hang near a bathroom so the treadmill will win.  I still need to walk these boys, but I can stick closer to home.

This is an easier week - no big challenges.  That's when I need to be extra diligent, because I tend to work hard on hard things and mess up on the easy ones.  Plan in place; 3 meals; no snacks; Whole30 for the week.

Later gators.

Sunday Afternoon LAZIES

Good afternoon!

Here's the Sunday lowdown ...

Today ended up being a well needed REST day (no boxing class - that's for another week).  My monthly friend showed up this morning and that sealed the deal regarding a workout v rest day.

We headed to brunch with the whole family - my favorite local place and I ALWAYS get the corned beef hash with eggs.  It's one of the best I've had and I LOVE hash!  The portion is small, but filling.  I skip the pancake and toast side.  As brunch, it was my breakfast and lunch combo so the calories were well spent.  (Their menu has the calorie count - for what it's worth ... 1100, but I didn't have one of the eggs and the pancakes or toast.)

Last night's fundraiser was FUN.  I drank my La Croix (I'm THAT southern girl now LOL) and stayed away from all the food and drinks.  There was lots to do, dogs to pet, great company, great weather, volunteer duties and such.  The pit rescue movie (which was the reason for the event) was HORRIBLE.  I mean GOD-AWFUL.  Bad filming, bad acting, bad jokes (super inappropriate), bad subject ... it was supposed to be about his dog and it was about his "crazy bitch girlfriend" instead with a dog subplot.  Physical fights acted out with horrible language.  Oh boy - this was NOT the audience for this "movie."  The Dotto highlight of this guy and his foster dogs that was shown before the movie was great - heartwarming, inspiring, sweet.  Made for something to talk about though LOL!

Today is some Jack adoption phone conversations (if peeps call me back) and sofa lounging (aka watching The Staircase).  It's a good day for lazy.  My monthly friend timed it well this month.

Off to change into my sweats and get relaxing!  Later gators.

Challenge #4

Today is the last of the big events this week.  Thank goodness!  It's a fundraiser for Releash Atlanta tonight.  Food trucks, booze carts, DJ, dogs and a special movie about rescue.  All outside with the bugs!!  I think it's going to be cooler tonight though - yea!  I'm looking forward to the movie.  I'll eat before I go, pack a drink cooler in the car (it's outside, so I should be able to bring some in) and LOTS of bug spray.  Going with the family (except youngest who's dog sitting for us).

My workouts feel good this week, so good I'm considering adding a Sunday boxing class.  I'm a little on the fence for 2 reasons - only one class offered that day, I bet it's crowded and 3 days of boxing might be too much in one week.  Crowded means people moving around all the bags next to me.  I usually have the area I pick all to myself.  It adds another level of coordination LOL!!  On the plus side, it's my favorite instructor and I want to try a weekend class.  I'll see how I feel.  Today is an interval treadmill run and a long dog walk.

I tried on THE jeans again yesterday.  A bit better, but still not covering my bum all the way and they won't close in the front (probably because they are sitting on my hips!!).  Every week I'll try them on and see what's what.

Still no monthly friend, but signs point to ON THE WAY!!

Lots of rescue work this weekend.  We have more people helping with applications and it's going better - good deal since we are swamped.

I listened to another podcast last night.  I WILL be doing a post about some of the ones I listen to - really good stuff, in my opinion.  There's one other podcast site I want to try before I do the post.  I still don't listen in the car, but I haven't had a long drive yet!!

Watermelon season here in GA has been a bust this year.  Not a good one to be found.  Underripe or rotted.  Bummer!  But I did have some good cherries.  They are so pricey, but on sale since they are at the peak of the season.  I won't be getting anymore.  One bag hit the spot (*TMI* more than one bag and I'm in the bathroom too much *TMI over*).

My SNS nails are almost at a MONTH!  They feel long now, but don't look bad at all.  No chips and since it's an American, the grow out isn't easily noticeable.  I'll get them done this week.  I'll go for one more SNS before I think about a break again.

This week was all about other people, but next week resumes my ME time.  Nails, eyebrows and a massage - good stuff.  I feel better when all that maintenance is up to par - hairy eyebrows, overgrown nails bug ME.  It's like a to-do list that's not finished, a bed that's not made!

I finished "Eleanor Oliphant is Fine" ... unusual read, well written, funny and heartwarming.  The subject should be a downer, but the story is actually really uplifting.  The next in line is "Small Great Things" by Jodi Picoult.

Still watching Staircase on Netflix and it's still good.  Episode 5.

That's my weekender update.  I think the entire east is cooler and happier this weekend!  Yea - enjoy!!!  Later gators.

Higher Standard

I've been head chatting with myself lately about why I have such a solid standing with exercise, but consistent healthy eating alludes me.  I've tried to figure this out many times with no luck.

** Bare with me - long and probably convoluted!! **

About 20 years ago, I made a set of rules about exercise and I stick with it super consistently (there are some exceptions, but 20 years later, not a bad go of it!).  Why can't this work for eating??

First, here's the quick version of the EXERCISE RULES.

(1) Can't decide the day of the exercise to NOT workout (must do it in advance).  Exceptions are sick or injured.  Sick as in fever or puking ... not a cold.  Injured as in there is nothing I can do instead (i.e. arm lift if ankle is wonky).
(2) Can't take more than 2 days off in a row.
(3) Must exercise enough to break a sweat.
(4) Can't THINK about how much I don't want to exercise BEFORE I start.  I can have A THOUGHT, but that's it.  No trying to negotiate in my head or talk myself out of exercising.  If I can't stop the head talk, then I have to immediately get exercising.  The head-talk is often longer and worse than the actual workout.

These all came from things-I-ALWAYS-regret if I do or don't do them.

What it doesn't say is HOW to exercise.  The HOW is my current training.  That changes all the time. What never changes is that I exercise regularly.  I don't fear a vacation taking me off the path or an injury or a stress change.  It's part of who I am, what I do and I don't worry in 20 years that I won't have that same mindset.

Sometimes, I'm in training mode and my workouts are hard.  Sometimes, life is enough and my workouts are minimal.  Sometimes, it's somewhere in the middle.

The bottom line ... I have a solid STANDARD that's on high ground and I don't fall below that standard.  Hit that bottom-line standard and fall no further.  That's why it's easy to get back up ... I don't have far to go.  The standard allows for LIFE.  It is flexible enough that it's sustainable, no matter what is happening.  Flexible, but still requires effort and work ... it's not a free ride.  I can't tell you how many times the alarm goes off and I think of NOT getting up to workout.  But I can't and I don't ... because STANDARDS (#1 and #4 above).

Conversely,  I have a horrible standard for eating.  When I fall, I fall long and far.  Basically, I have NO STANDARD.  I let myself fall all the way to the bottom.  When it's time to get up, it's hard and a long way to better ground.  I live up toward the top a lot of the time so it doesn't feel like I have a low standard.  

Duh!!  I never noticed it because I am often sitting on high ENOUGH ground ... telling myself I have a healthy eating plan and it's working.  Until I fall (and I do fall) and then I wonder what happened.  I can't stop falling.  Life is messy and a rollercoaster and there WILL be ups and downs.  I need to control the fall - like I do with exercise.

I need to build a higher eating standard ... solid, high ground ... flexible enough to last, but rules (standards) that guide me.  Control the fall.  Make it easier to get back up.

It will be personal and just for ME.  Built with what I need and not someone else.  Built from my experiences and struggles and MY triggers.  Built from things I always regret doing or not doing.

The first one might be the no-sweets rule (cake, cookies, candy, etc) that I'm committed to for the duration of Whole30 coaching and Project Healthy Body.  Maybe that needs to be a STANDARD.  Those type of sweets are food-without-brakes for ME.  I never want a bite or a piece ... I want 1/2 the cake.  I ALWAYS regret falling face first into sweets.  Even if I don't have "too much" it sends me to a huge struggle place - even one cookie.  I might win that battle (with tons of effort), but I don't win the war.

I had to give up soda too.  I couldn't moderate it.  People I've mentioned this to in the past thought it was too extreme, not necessary, but they are not ME!!!  They don't live in my head.  When I gave up soda 20+ years ago, people said I was nuts (remember this was over 20 years ago - everyone drank soda then).  Now most of them don't drink soda themselves - go figure!!

I want to use the Project Healthy Body to work through this and get some guidance.  I am hopeful this is a big missing puzzle piece.  I'm stuck at the "what" should be the standard.  It has to work for ME.  Feel right to ME.  Feel important to ME.  If not, it won't work. It's will be a short-term fix and then I will fall all the way again.

I told my coach (Holly) about this yesterday.  She is linking me to another podcast on this very subject.  I'm collecting some podcast info and will do a podcast post soon!!!

I'm working on my crazy head space - who knows, maybe I'll figure something out!!  Later gators.

Whew - Glad Yesterday is OVER

What a day!

The update was dinner at 4 o'clock.  The update to the update is "after-dinner" at 6 o'clock followed by an extended after-dinner snack.  All compliant.  No sweets.

NOT a win though.  More like a survival.  Not a total loss either.  Maybe a draw.

First thing this morning, the refrigerator got cleaned out.  Stuff went in with hubby to work, other stuff trashed and all temptations are gone.

Next step is to get some fruit today.  PMS cravings are nothing to mess with and I wanted something sweet (so I ate half the refrigerator trying to quell the craving).  Two schools of thought - DON'T GIVE IN at all ... OR find a substitution.  A bowl of watermelon would have put it to bed.  I'm going to have that safety net today (just a reasonable amount so I don't OVER-indulge in it).  Pretty please get my monthly in the next couple of days!!!!!!

Another UPDATE.  The 3 part mini-series "A Very English Scandal" is on Amazon Prime, not Netflix and I watched 1/2 of the first episode and didn't love it.  Maybe I'll get back to it.  Hugh Grant like I've never seen him - nicely acted to far though.

I DID get watching the Netflix series Staircase.  Wow - 3 episodes in and it's fascinating.  True story documentary 15 years in the making.  Author's wife found dead at bottom of the staircase - murder or accident?!?!  Every episode (so far) changes my mind.  Real life twists and turns.  I actually remember the news story (a little).  Can't wait to finish it and get talking about it with the youngest (he recommended it).  It films the behind-the-scenes legal prep from the defense - super interesting from a legal perspective too.

I'm almost finished with a book and I have to get reading before the TV series takes over my night!  I might lose interest in the book (and it's a good one).

This morning is boxing again and AGAIN, I don't want to go, but I love it when it's over.  I feel blah this morning - no surprise.  PMS, late night snacking - yep, not a morning bursting with good feels.  Boxing is ABSOLUTELY what I NEED.

I have my coaching call this afternoon.  It's probably good timing being during the witching hours and the support will be good.  Help me, Holly ... those cookies are humming with desire to be eaten by me LOL.  (JK - they are with hubby at work anyway!!!)

Coaching call details tomorrow and some new thoughts on my healthy life going forward.  Stay tuned ... later gators.

Hi again!

I'm checking back in because the struggle is REAL today!

I predicted a post-challenge day that might require a Herculean effort to stay on point.  Yep.  Did I jinx it or is it a self-fulfilling prophecy?  More like been-there-done-that too many times to count.

This morning was busy.  Long dog walk (3 miles), cleaning crew (so dog management), lunch prep, laundry and NOW .... RELAX time!  Except I want to eat.  I'm NOT hungry (I had big, yummy lunch).  I want the chocolate candy and the cookies and the cheese and a piece of cake.  And, because I'm reasonable, I'll wait to want wine until 4 o'clock, but that's on the list too.

Given how much I'm craving sweets, this might be a PMS moment.  If my schedule holds true, it's 2 days away.  Because of travel, everything was wonky and early last month, so maybe - maybe not.  I didn't do anything yesterday that SHOULD trigger SWEETS craving.

As I'm typing, I'm getting more convinced this is PMS.  Oh lordy.  No break for the weary this week. A refrigerator full of extra yummy no-nos that will derail me and set my stomach off and make me feel lousy (after I bask in the joy of stuffing my face) is NO BEUNO this week!!

It's only 1:30 -- not even the witching hours yet!  I'm home alone with dogs and my cravings and adding to the mix is I AM SO TIRED!!  Like take-a-nap tired (which I only do about twice a year).

Maybe I should nap?  Maybe that will make time go by AND cure my tired.  I have 6 hours before it's reasonable to go to bed.  That might mess up my early bed in a big way.  On the rarest of occasions that I do nap, it's never for 20 minutes.  More like HOURS.

Okay - enough venting.  I need to stay clear of the refrigerator and get busy doing something ... anything.  6 hours left ... fingers crossed!

EDIT:
4 o'clock and I already ate dinner.  Best I could do ... oh, I want those sweets!!!

3 Down ... Oh, Happy 4th of July too!

Where to start?

Yesterday was one long ass day.

Boxing was HARD and super fun all at once.  My lower half is finally coordinating with my upper half and now it all makes sense.  Throw a punch with your legs and body weight.  Duh.  It takes me and my uncoordinated body so long to LEARN!  I tend to instinctively move the wrong way.  Don't ask me why - it's all my life LOL.  Since I'm now moving everything in the right direction, I'm SORE today - haha go figure!

After boxing was a mad dash on birthday errands.  Grocery store, last minute gift, gluten-free bakery for one of the guys coming.

Then I cooked.  And cooked.  And cooked.  Lots of WORK!

Hubby and the youngest (still unemployed after graduation) are going head-to head lately (regarding "get a job") and moods were not festive.  There was a palpable tension most of the night.

I stayed back from the fireworks since the dogs were going crazy with all the home fireworks (welcome to the south).  They shook and cried.  I couldn't leave them.  They're nice local fireworks, but I've seen them before - I didn't miss anything.  Humid and buggy too.

It was HARD not drinking.  It was HARD not eating (hello cheese, I miss you).  I was HARD staying up until 10:30 and up at 5 am (Jack!!!).  It was HARD not eating/drinking the tension of the night away.

I was bummed going to bed.  I worked really hard and it was hardly a fun night.  I'm up feeling drained again.  I need to set better limits.

The bright side is yesterday was the Mount Everest of my challenges this week.  Left-overs are haunting, but should be manageable.  Saturday will feel like a walk in the park after yesterday.  I think my youngest will head back to his apartment after last night.  He planned to stay until tomorrow, but I bet he doesn't.  Quite frankly, hubby was being a turd to him.  Not eating my feeling over this is probably my biggest issue this week.  Got to love STRESS.

Today is a replay of all things BBQ'd from yesterday.  I'm adding a salad, but, otherwise, no kitchen time needed.  Time to FoodSaver a ton of meat (freezer stash hoarding again!!).  I'll be long walking dogs (not even a power walk since boxing again tomorrow).  I'm putting my feet up, relaxing ALL AFTERNOON!  Phone off for part of it too.  There's a 3 hour mini-series on Netflix (Hugh Grant) that I want to start to watch.  A Very English _____  ... I can't remember the name.  The dogs are stressed too and tonight will be another fireworks night in the neighborhood - some chill time for them is good.  Poor babies.

Happy 4th of July.  This summer is flying.  Later gators.

The MOTHER LOAD!

Today is the BIG challenge day.  All afternoon, evening and into the night - PARTY!  11 peeps, 5 dogs, food, drink, merriment.  Then a quick walk behind our house to the 17 fairway and FIREWORKS from the local golf club.

Yesterday was okay.  Timing meals was tricky.  Lunch was compliant, but boring and not enough food.  (Plain baked potato with veggies and chicken - dry, flavorless even with hot sauce and vinegar.)  That left me STARVING by 4:30 so I ate another meal.  Then birthday dinner at 6:30.  Ended up being more food than I needed.  I should have supplemented lunch and not had 2 dinners!!!  Live and learn.

Tons of foods HAUNTING me in the refrigerator.  Chocolate, cookie dough, cheese ... to name a few.  Add cake, cocktails and other goodies today.  Oh boy! (Ha - everything starts with the letter 'c' - go figure.)

I need to be on my game today.  I plan to do well, but I don't want to have repercussions and fall off tomorrow because I worked so hard today.  True story repeated LOTS in my life.

Boxing in an hour.  That will feel good - once it's finished.  I don't WANT to go, but I NEED to go.

Then busting butt to get everything ready.  Entertaining is FUN and WORK and MORE WORK.  Many good memories made entertaining -- and some crappy ones too LOL!  It's worth it (I keep repeating over and over today!)

Later gators!

Hubby's Birthday

I've been up since 5 am - thanks Jack.  Another dog puking last night - what's happening in my world?!?!

Baking cookies before the sun is up (I made the cookie dough last night).  Big birthday celebration for hubby tomorrow, but couldn't let today go un-celebrated!!  Chocolate chip cookies are his favorite!  It was hard - I LOVE the dough.  I survived.  Once baked with tons of chocolate chips and they totally lose their appeal.  (I like my chocolate chip with the chocolate - I know I'm not the only one!)

Today is a power walk with Duke, then a walk with the rest of the dogs.

I'm headed to hubby's work for outdoor lunch with his favorite dog!  Dinner is take-out.  It's challenge Day 2, but the easiest of the "event" days this week.

Just a quick check-in this morning.  My usual morning routine is out the window today.  Lots to do before that sun gets to high and HOT!

Tomorrow is the BIG challenge day.  Hopefully, I'll have more time to write, but hubby is working from home.  We'll see!

P.S. It's also my sister's birthday.  You'd think that would make it easy to remember with hubby on the same day.  I always "forget" it at first.  Crazy - I know.

Later gators.

One done ...

First of 4 challenging days this week - FINITO!

It was fun - Korean BBQ is a dining experience.  And, funny enough, one that most peeps don't focus on alcohol.  My girlfriend ordered sake (yuck) so no temptation at all (no one else drank).  Also, this couple wouldn't care if I ever drank.  Their drinking or not drinking is never about other people (i.e. they don't feel awkward being the only drinkers or the only non-drinkers).  She is one of the few people I know who has NO issue with food - NONE.  We've talked about it.  She said it was never an issue for her mom or her family and it's not for her.  I've asked her about it to LEARN from her.  It's like she's a rare white tiger or something LOL.  It DOES exist!!

Anyway, I digress - this blog is about me, after all LOL!

I ate exactly how I expected to eat.  Lot of food.  Meat and veggies only.  Was it perfectly compliant? Probably not.  I bet some of the pickled veggies had added sugar, etc.  That's not at all important to me at this stage of the game.  I knew I'd have a lot of food and late at night (for me).  I was careful and selective all day with my choices.  It was a win.

Today is important to be back on track FULLY.  Super, duper important.

Tomorrow is Hard Day 2 but the easiest of the hard days (no alcohol celebrating).  Lunch - already looked at the menu.  There are a few good choices.  Dinner - hubby wants takeout from his favorite takeout place.  The great news is there is a really good Whole30 choice for me.  I'll purchase cupcakes for him (it's his ACTUAL birthday).  The homemade celebration will be on Tuesday (that includes the drinking).  I think Monday will feel okay.  Tuesday is the HARDEST Hard Day - celebration all afternoon and evening followed by a late night at fireworks.

Sometimes these wins BUILT my confidence muscle and make the next easier.  Sometimes each challenge DEPLETES my willpower for the next one.  I don't know why it works both ways and I never know which it will be until it happens.

I was feeling good last night before dinner so I "tried" on THE jeans.  By try, I mean I started them up my leg and realized they might not get over my butt so I stopped.  WHY DO I CONTINUE TO DO THIS TO MYSELF?!?!  I was bummed.  And a pictures from last night showed no progress AGAIN (hubby and his damn picture taking).  I have OPPOSITE body image right now.  I think I've made way more progress than I have - is this good??  It makes me happier when I THINK it and then bummed when the bubble bursts -- the pants can't lie (they've never seen the inside of a drier - I've had that thought too - no shrinkage excuse!!).

Workout yesterday was a "mostly" run with Duke (we walked some of the big hills) followed by another walk with the foster dog too.  Total - 5 miles.  It felt good.  I need to figure the timing out for boxing this week.  That probably means pushing for a workout today so I can rest my legs tomorrow. A good workout today will help keep me on track today too - some sort of treadmill run TBD and some arm lifting.  I'm noticing some improvement in recovery FINALLY.

Oh, and today is Day 30 - there's that.  Yea ME.  Also (more importantly), we gave the dogs a late snack and Jack slept until 6 am - much better.  Funny enough, I feel more tired this morning though.  No pleasing me.

Happy Sunday!  Later gators.