Tuesday Things

Good morning.  

It feels good to have my nails back in order.  I got a clear shimmer on my fingers.  It's probably more like a fine glitter.  My pointer finger nail is still super wonky from the knife cut so this was a good choice to not draw attention to it.  I got a similar one last time, but it had a light gray color base.

Toes are back to a gray/blue.  One of my go-to colors.  I had a deep red and for some reason I love a red at first but get really sick of it before long.  I say I'm not going to do a red over the holidays, but usually get romanticized into getting it.  Holiday spirit takes over.  That was one and done for this year.

Finished the puzzle -- very enjoyable.  Not an all-the-time thing, but it's fun for a rainy day.  Technically, it's my first one (solo one).  

I'm making slow progress on 2 books.  Remember (Lisa Genova) -- non-fiction about the science of memory and The Friendship List (?) about a bucket list between friends needed to get unstuck in their lives.  Neither is wowing me (although okay enough), but I think it's me, not the books.  I was thinking about doing an audible for the upcoming drives to Asheville for the bookclub selection.  I've never done an audible so I need to figure it out.  Also, not sure I'd be able to pay attention enough to listen to a book AND drive.  Seems like I'd zone out and miss sections.

Looks like the next couple of drives are solo rides for me.  We're leaving Friday to take up the freezer and big mirror so I think we'll need 2 cars to bring everything.  Trip with my girlfriend was going to be a ride together, then not, then yes and now not again.  Head spinning.  It's what she does ... who she is ... and I need to expect it about EVERYTHING.  This wasn't the only head spinning changes recently.

Speaking of that ... I've been listening to lots of coaching calls with Brooke Castillo now that I'm VIP status (opens a bunch of content).  Super helpful with friend stuff.  A few calls that really hit home about my feelings toward friendship frustrations.  And you guessed it, ME, not THEM.  Choice of what I do (accept) is always mine, but beating my head in frustration isn't the answer.  

Boys are heading to the groomers this morning.  I'm doing a Total Wines pickup this afternoon.  Getting stuff for both festive trips to Asheville.  One of the Costcos in our area has a Costco liquor store (the other has a privately owned one attached).  Prices are great and they'd have everything I need, but the CROWDS are crazy right now.  I drove by and kept driving.  Not worth the craziness.  Total Wines has good prices too and more reasonably sized bottles.

I still need to redo a to-do list for all things Christmas prep.  I can't seem to get my brain around any organization this week.  Guess I'll randomly pick some things to do and at least start thinning the list.  (Like picking up the liquor and making youngest's cookie selection.)

Have a great day and stay well.  Later gators.

Ready for a New Week

What a wonky week living in my brain -- I'm ready and glad to have a start-over.  Phew.  

I decided to do the puzzle in my office.  It completely takes over my desk, but I can set my computer and drinks on top of it when I'm using the desk.  I'm already about halfway.  Sorting edge pieces and flipping everything over counts toward the halfway mark :)  I also have some groups put together in the puzzle box ready for their fit.

It's fun to do this myself.  It totally stole my experience having hubby working the puzzles too.  I'd stop for the evening with plans to do a certain section the next day, only to find he did it later that night.  AND, he FINISHED every puzzle.  Of course, he left the set up and flipping pieces for me to do each time.  Rude.  I offered him his own side of the table and his own puzzle, but he wouldn't do it.  "I'm just helping, not really doing a puzzle."  Nope.  Now I'm squirreling away puzzles in my office -- it's come to that (!!)

I saw a cooking segment on the Today Show and bought the cookbook.  Vegan recipes for the occasional vegan which means less "strange" things for substitutions that non-vegans don't usually have on-hand.  A lot of the recipes are pasta or bread based, but there are enough to experiment with that are veggie forward.  I'll check out some recipes in January.

Nails this morning and I'm ready for both -- hot mess on my fingers.  Did I mention I cut a second nail with my kitchen knife.  This one hit the skin too.  What the heck?  My toes are ready too -- long and scuffed looking.  I also need to start taking care of my heels for the winter.  It's amazing how quickly they get dry and cracked with a little drop in temperature (and humidity).  I'll feel way more together once both are shaped and pretty again.  Having nails a mess is such a big deal to me -- I never feel put together.  The one nail bed has a long way to grow back though.  At least it doesn't hurt anymore.

Hope you have a good week and are feeling in the holiday spirit.  I'm working on both too.  Stay well.  Later gators.

Sunday Things

I'm slow rolling into a productive week.  A few chores yesterday, a few more today.  Get back at it.  Next week has some social stuff pending weather and that'll be nice.  Once again, I'm back to wanted to get my shit together to enjoy what December has to offer.  Time to make that happen.

I finally made the sweet potato and mushroom soap.  It's okay.  Flavor is missing.  If I make it again, I'll add some more spices.  It calls for paprika and garlic only -- not enough for me.  Maybe ginger to go with the coconut milk?  It's edible so I'll freeze some and have another bowl for dinner tonight.

Cooking a few pounds of bacon today too.  Probably overkill since I didn't need it for Thanksgiving, but you can always use cooked bacon in the freezer.  Possibly making a batch of cookies too -- oatmeal raisin for the youngest.  He gets a lot of crap for his cookie choice haha!  I enjoy oatmeal, but not the raisins.  

I bought a holiday puzzle to work on in the afternoons.  I need something to do late afternoon for a little bit.  Not TV.  Reading would be okay, but books aren't wowing me lately.  Shipping was delayed so I didn't get to do it early enough to finish this weekend.  Hubby like to take over my puzzling so I'm not sure what I'm going to do.  It bugs the crap out of me that he takes it over (married couple problems).  It'll overpower my desk (I think) so I can't leave it in the office ... or maybe I can.  I'll check it out.  That would totally solve my issue.

UPDATE:  Just looked at the box.  It will totally take over my desk, but maybe it's worth it to have it somewhere for me.  BTW -- he NEVER wants to do a puzzle unless I'm doing a puzzle.  Hmmmm, I'll think on this.

Not a whole lot to chat about this morning.  I caught up to current on Succession (HBO Max).  It's really good.  Next episode is tonight.  

Have a great Sunday.  Last of my homebound days before a regular week starts.  I'm ready to get out in the world a little bit again.  This last week was a slippery mental slope.  Later gators. 

That's Out of My System

I chose the sofa-slug day and I'm not sorry.  The "want" to doing nothing was ridiculously strong yesterday so I went with it.

Reading, dog cuddles (and a walk because nothing isn't really NOTHING), next season of Succession (5 episodes so far), snacked for meals -- the whole shebang.  

It felt really good to not even try -- just do nothing (new Nike slogan for "those" days?!?)  No brain discussion, no negotiations, no guilt.  

I'm over it today.  Woke up wanting the usual day -- workout, vegetables, morning routine, etc.  

I don't know what that was, but it was a total flatline kind of day.  I didn't even shower which is super unusual for me.  Almost like a sick day without being sick.  It felt like that.  If this is an isolated thing, I'll just wave goodbye and move on, but if I start feeling it again, I'll need to figure out what's going on.

Of course, I'm not feeling my best physically (although not as bad as I would've thought), but I feel revived mentally.

Probably goes without saying, my to-do list is totally off for the week.  I planned cookies this weekend, but now I'm not sure.  I need to re-group and figure out what makes the most sense.  I'd like to enjoy some outside time this weekend (next week is a lot of rain).  Sunshine will help and I need it (the dogs will be happy too).  And kitchen time feels better COOKING rather than baking after 2 days of junk eating.

Have a great weekend.  This time I'm confident I can pull off a good day too.  Later gators.

Not the Best Day

I FORCED the feel-goods.  Workout, took dogs to the park, ran errands.  Then I mentally crashed -- which means "hit the fridge" for all the comfort foods.  Comfort foods that don't really comfort, but felt good in the moment.

Frozen GF pizza, cheese and crackers, chocolate.  No good for feeling good.  

Not sure what's up.  This could be all hormones again.  I STILL feel like crashing today (no wonder with all the junk).  My brain woke up saying "one more day of doing NOTHING sounds really nice."

I don't feel like fighting or allowing or processing anything for it to be different.  Stay tuned.  I have no idea what I'll choose today.  

Anyway ...

I finished The Gunkle.  It was sweet, predictable and an okay read.  New pick today -- although I might not be in the best place for a pick.  I have 3 in mind.  

(1)  Bookclub pick (Americanah).  This is a hard, careful read.  Lots to pay attention to and lots of unfamiliar names/language, but I want to get it finished for an early bookclub this month.

(2)  Prequel to one of my favorite books (The Evening and the Morning), but reviews are mixed from people who read and loved the other two books.  And it's extremely long.  The other two took a bit to get into before I couldn't put them down.

(3)  A beach read from the stack my girlfriend sent for the LFL.  None that I have left get great reviews, but often, beach reads don't (like suspense books).  The rating bar seems lower since they get rated up against epic novels.  A beach read by definition is easy, predictable (mostly) and ends with something sweet and happy.  Can't fault it for being what it's meant to be, but that shows up in the ratings.

Hearing my argument and knowing my mood, maybe a beach read is best.  Finish it quickly and then decide on the others.

I also watched Under the Tuscan Sun on Prime.  I was in the mood for that kind of predictable story.  I never saw the movie, but read the book a long time ago.

Podcasts galore yesterday too as Brene Brown is making the rounds.  Incredibly good interviews.  

Jen Hatmaker had her virtual bookclub holiday party last night.  It was really awful.  I checked in on it a few times and it missed the mark in every way.  She and a comedian friend chatting.  Sound was bad (too far from her phone), picture and lighting were off (same reason) and the conversation was boring.  Nothing about books when I checked in.  I didn't plan to watch it, but I got a notification and I was in bed reading so I thought I'd give it a try.  Swing and a miss.  To me, the issue was how hard they promoted this live chat -- like it was big and exciting and a don't-miss kind of night with so many laughs from her special guest.  Dress in your best ugly sweater, bring your favorite cocktail, gather with your girlfriends and prepare to wet your pants laughing.  I saw some beginning, middle and end and it was never any of that.  Bummer for people excited for the night.

That's all from here.  I'm hoping for some semblance of good day (life coaching would have field day with this wording and attitude!!).  I know it's TOTALLY up to me, but ME isn't showing up well in this moment -- eek.  What's a gal to do??  Hah.  Hope YOU have a great day.  Later gators.

Hubby Back, Hubby Gone

Hubby came home for 10 hours and is back out the door for a golf vacation.  My little respite is back after a teeny tiny interruption.  

Yesterday ended up being a little different.  I got an early morning call from a good friend (who I just chatted with the day before) and we ended up talking for 3 hours.  Nothing was wrong, but it was a really nice conversation spanning all things.  Since it was an arm day, I postponed my workout until afternoon and spend the morning chatting.

I took this picture for hubby (and to show off my new workout hair style -- a little braid).  I sat like this for a long time (!!)  Monti enjoyed the different morning a lot.

Since I didn't finish my "morning" until mid-afternoon, nothing else got done.  Grocery store pushed until today or tomorrow -- who knows.  I need to regroup my to-do list and figure out what's what.

We all started our advent calendars with yummy success.  The first day for us was dark chocolate (not my favorite), but it was actually very good.  My complaint with dark chocolate is usually how hard it is -- this was creamy and melt-in-your-mouth good.

Dogs got to split their cookie for the day.

Checking it out.

Duke sits for his treats
and Monti dances.

I feel a bit off my game this morning.  I didn't sleep well (hubby snored) and I think hormones are swinging again this week.  I need a big re-group today to add things that will make me feel better.  Sunshine is one of them -- outdoors today is a must.  Maybe a run.  Maybe a long dog walk.  Maybe just me walk.  A good meditation too -- something to center again.

I'm oddly having mixed feelings about being totally alone this weekend.  Strange since I LOVE alone, but everyone is gone or tied up.  There is actually NO possibility to see anyone and that feels lonely in an unexpected way.  Kids and hubby are all separately out of town.  My GF turns 60 tomorrow so her weekend is totally taken (I would've asked her to go for a walk).  My aunt is busy with a holiday party.  Everyone else isn't "weekend" material for something little, last minute -- weekends being prime time in December.

I'm an odd cookie.  I can't wait to be alone and now I'm lonely.  See?  I'm off my game today.  I bet this is just a passing feeling and a little sunshine and nature will put me back on track.

Anyway ...

Two new blazers came in the mail and I love them.  Robin's egg blue and classic navy.  I was so bored with my style and it's been a lot of fun to change things up.  The weather is going to be in the 70s this weekend so wearing them will have to wait.  Pictures coming though.

I have the blahs with reading right now.  Nothing seems super entertaining.  The Gunkle is okay, but heading to what seems like a predictable conclusion.  I started a non-fiction by one of my favorite fiction writers, Lisa Genova.  Remember (The Science of Memory and the Art of Forgetting).  Not far enough read to have a much of an opinion, but it's dry so far.  The reviews say it's scientific but told with her storytelling talent.  I'm waiting for the storytelling bit (!!)

Brene Brown's new book came.  Atlas of the Heart.  It's not what I expected, but I haven't read any of it yet -- just randomly looked at a few pages.  Feels like a dictionary from a quick glance -- not a read cover-to-cover.  I hope I'm wrong.  It's my next non-fiction.

I'm craving a book you start and can't put down.  Maybe it's me and not the books though.  I'm considering an audible book for the bookclub selection.  A number of people are "reading" it that way because of the difficult language (lots of hard names and many characters).  I'll give it a try first.  I should hit this one sooner than later.  

Have a great day.  My intention today is to find my mojo -- can't be too far away.  Later gators.

Coaching Review

It wasn't exactly what I expected, but I don't know what I actually expected.  Maybe more of an "intake" interview -- get to know me better.

I'm trying to remember how coaching started with my last life coach.  I think we started slow-rolling with Whole30 coaching, group coaching program and THEN individual.  By the time individual started, she knew a lot about me.  

This felt a bit odd.

We started and she asked what I wanted to be coached on and that was that.  Right at it.  Very little background.  

I chose to talk about goal setting and dabbling vs high pressure and how I was having trouble living between those two extremes.  We ended up talking about my childhood (surprising to me) and she had a number of good insights of how I formed some deep held beliefs.  

Goals that are worth pursuing must be high pressure and hard.

Results must be outstanding (perfect).

Head down, get it done or you're not working hard enough.

I have to feel out of my league or under water as I push into the goal -- that's how you achieve.

She also gave me a question to do a thought download on.  What's wrong with dabbling?  (Which doesn't feel like "real" goals setting to me.)

She's on vacation next week so I have 2 weeks before the next call.  That's good.  I need a bit of time to process and get my bearings.

Asking better (quality) questions.  I need to learn what to ask and learn how to get straight to the point.  That's often a difference between therapy and life coaching.  

I'm excited about this but I still have reservations about the cost vs value of the coaching.  Out of the gate, I have a lot to think about and I TOTALLY didn't make those connections until she asked me some first memory questions about growing up.  Guess that's a good start.

On another note ...

I didn't make the soup yesterday because I had filet to cook (checked the date and it was time).  I bought it forgetting hubby was on a business trip the first part of this week.  Guess I could've frozen them, but I decided to do a "fancy" dinner for me.  Steak, cauliflower mash, roasted baby broccoli and leftover cranberry sauce.  I set the table and had a delicious dinner.

Grocery store today so soup tomorrow.  Leftover steak tonight.  

I took a couple of lights pictures with the porch lights on and you can sort of make out the colored lights.  Next year upping my game to the front porch too.  I didn't do the front porch because the lights don't go with the wreaths.  I need to change the wreaths or use different lights.  Maybe getting different lights is the less expensive option.

Christmas gifts are arriving and Christmas gifts are delayed.  It seems either they ship immediately or I get a notification a few days after ordering that there's an "unexpected" delay in my order.  Fingers crossed things arrive by Christmas.  I still need to get gifts for my eldest who gave me the vaguest list yesterday.  Athletic wear, watch strap.  DETAILS!!  I need details!  He's a picky, picky clothes guy.  No way I'm blindly selecting.  This isn't my first rodeo with him. Hah!

Anyway, that's all from here for now (I have other stuff to chat about tomorrow).  Have a great day (this week is moving quickly).  Later gators.