Back to Monday Again

Mixed bag yesterday.

I worked out (still hard) and baked for the family (banana bread). We went to the kids' house and the baby is sick. So no loving Granny -- poor sweet boy has a cold and only wanted mama and daddy, of course. 

My youngest and DIL-2-B came over too and we were all together for the big announcement. This feels like hope, not a final win, but a step toward maybe. That took some weight off my shoulders.

Home to relax because that's all the energy I had for the day.

I have a bunch of "office" things on my to-do list today. Booking rehearsal dinner, booking spa event for my DIL-2-B, volunteer work emails and phone calls. It's funny when my mood is out of sorts and I'm leaning toward anxious, these kind of things have a disproportional dread. It'll feel good to get them off the table today. Logically, there's no reason to dread any of it.

I have a friend who is cleaning out decades of a storage area and is giving me some vintage books -- she's coming over today. She's already given me a box -- from 60 to 85 year old books from her family. If I don't want them, she's dropping at the GoodWill. I tried to talk her into another thrift store or sell them, but she just wants everything gone -- hence the dropping off to get them out of her house.

The weather is still soup and awful to be outside. Not any relief on the 10 day forecast. Ouch. 

I had a focus to feel more myself by today (new Monday) and I'm partially there. Stomach issues are resolved. Head fog/congestion/whatever this is -- still lingering. Energy is slowly coming back. 

I still don't know about the trip because I can't get a practice hike in this stormy weather. My inclination is to cancel, but that's STRONGLY driven by dread, not my ability to hike. I'm worried I'm dropping out to easy the stress of a challenge and not because of lingering COVID symptoms. That's why a few hikes are important to weed out my BS. There is a real possibility I can't hike that level yet -- won't know until I know though. 

The dread isn't the 3 hikes, it's the rest of the experience. Here's what's out-of-the-box for me.

No a/c in GA in August.

Family style food -- lots of gluten stuff. Strict rules on portions and waste.

Community bathroom in another cabin -- planks to walk to the cabin.

Open showers.

No plugs in room.

No cell service.

No phones allowed -- texting or calls (no service in rooms)

Barebones, tiny, tiny room.

Spiders.

The hiking group (lots of opinionated people) and strangers.

2 nights.

Only way is to hike in and out.

Must hike everything in and all trash out too -- can I carry it?!?

I realize a lot of the list is pampered pup stuff which is why I signed up -- get of my box. But, there are some real issues. What if my back is bad? What if weather is bad? What if I get hurt on a hike? There is a service road for emergencies. 

So the decision comes down to if I can hike the hikes, I'm going (assuming my back is doing well). I'm 50-50 on wishing the outcome. What's driving the desire to go is how good I'll feel having accomplished it and the added challenge of finding a way to enjoy the experience too. It's not prison, it's a vacation destination. Good lord, get a grip lol!

I leave with this little bubble butt -- my little shadow. He's such a sweet boy. Later gators.