Communication

I'm still all nerves from this big, unexpected change so I did a thought-download.  A list of all things making me anxious and then a list of all the positives that come with retirement.

On the anxiety list were 2 things that stood out --  hubby doesn't know the cost of SCS coaching or my hair appointments (both prickly points for him).  It felt like a secret -- that kind that doesn't feel good.  So I told him.  And he was fine with it.  So much worry over nothing and now a relief to have that off my shoulders.  My life in the open.  Seems small, but it was living in the background getting bigger and bigger -- as secrets do.

Looks like the key to retirement adjustment is COMMUNICATION.  We vowed to honor it.  I imagine we'll need reminding regularly, knowing us.

On the list were things that really weren't true or things that we have total control over ... and the 2 secrets.  After writing it down, examining each item, coming "clean" ... it felt manageable and a lot less scary. 

I'm still anxious (hello, hormones) -- working it out in uncomfortable dreams, acknowledging it's a big change with extra unknowns, letting myself feel the feelings but not stew in them.  I wish I could pop ahead to when I'm adjusted to it all and it feels "regular."  In the mud is where the good things start -- I'm hanging on to this idea.

And it's ONLY early retirement which is a huge blessing and privilege, duh.  My brain likes to think this is some epic Greek tragedy.  Oh sweet brain, you love to over-act life.

I'll chat about the positive list tomorrow.  Lots of thoughts on this ...

Speaking of positive -- I LOVE the new nail salon.  I'm officially making the switch.  Sometimes you need a reason to shake things up.  I do -- letting go doesn't come naturally for me.  I usually hold on a little too long.  My nail tech taking a 2 month break was just the push I needed.  Little bits of happy make a surprising difference to me.

My sister sent a fascinator for tomorrow's coronation so I sent her a picture ... "too much for a pedicure appointment?"  I actually like it :)  I found a place for it to hang out in my office too.  A little reminder of someone loving me, seeing me, knowing me.  I need reminding.

Here's a picture from hubby's final work flight of his career.  He got an upgrade -- very fitting.

Happy Friday.  I have a lunch date with my girlfriend -- she's already made one change lol.  I hope she doesn't cancel, I'm really looking forward to some girlfriend time.   Later gators.