Coaching Call

I had a good coaching call -- someone I'd be happy to get again (Ronda).  I talked about why I crash after some sort of push (social, FS, etc).  I protected my physical energy, scheduled a laidback week and STILL (!!)

She thought I wasn't acknowledging how draining the last couple weeks were mentally -- Spanish presentation, lead up to the trip, the trip.  Even though I was proud and excited to have done and showed up, it took a toll.

I told her the 2 examples this week were not wanting to study Spanish or read the book for book club.  I'm doing everything else.  Why?  The pressure is off both and there is no reason for me to fight tooth and nail to do it.  She had a good question for me ... do I want to go to book club and Spanish class?  Not do I want to read or study, but do I want to show up for the class.

Ding, ding.  Yep, I don't want to go.  I don't want to have to prepare mentally to show up.  I don't want to feel the need to be "on" -- even though neither is a big deal in the context of this month it feels like a big deal to me.  I want hibernation time to restore my mental reserves.  As much as I don't want to admit it, I'm exhausted mentally and emotionally.

She suggested I read and study and make the decision to go (or not) the day before.  We also talked that it's okay to have a break.  There are times to push and times to pull back.  I get to decide and I can figure out which one by talking a minute to write down my thoughts.  Bottom line -- I'm sabotaging the reading and studying so the choice is made for me.  Can't do either if I haven't prepared.

This weekend is another bit of a FS push again.  Bee tour and trip to Asheville with the dogs.  I'm a little hyped up for both, but I want to see them through.  No wonder adding to that doesn't feel good.

It's good to know something WAS running in the background.  I need to be careful and watch my physical energy, but I need to pay attention to the mental pushes too.  

Problem solved.  I don't know what I'll choose to do yet, but understanding helps.  And I will be okay with whatever I decide (mantra for the week).

It's interesting how much these seemingly little changes are hard.  Becoming something different takes practice and endurance.  Ronda reminded me that's expected and not to get upset that I need recovery -- it's how bodies and brains work.  

To that point -- I finished the book for book club.  I enjoyed it -- heartbreaking story on immigration.  The author is a good story teller, good writer and she kept the length in check.  I've read a few critically acclaimed books recently that are too long.  Edit out the extra :)

BTW, I heard back from the woman from book club.  We're meeting Oct 3 for coffee.  She seemed willing and happy to meet me.  I'm glad I reached out -- I'm still not convinced it will actually happen, but so far it's moving forward.

Today is a full day but should be fun.  Run at the park with Duke, Whole Foods and a takeout order from True Foods (can not wait for the soup!!).  

Hope you have a good day too.  Later gators.