90 minutes into appointment and 3 emergencies and 2 vasovagal episodes. Holy cow (!!) Nothing after that -- strange timing ... who knows. Actually a little scary at first. I had asked the nurse who was clinically certifying me if there were many reactions -- she had only one person pass out on all the shifts she worked. Then this wave of crazy. BTW, everyone seemed to be okay. One woman had a seizure and they thought they might need CPR, but she left responsive and talking with the paramedics (don't know her medical history, of course).
Anyway -- it's a turn and burn kind of experience. I started out -- wow, this feels great to be helping -- bet this day flies by. Looked at the clock and TEN MINUTES had gone by. OMG! It was good but the time felt SLOW. Each person took less than 5 minutes and you never stopped (except when I helped with one of the emergencies). Most of the clinic peeps were paid employees -- also a surprise. They work full-time, 3 days per week, flex schedule. Too much for me. 5 hours was enough. I think I'll volunteer once a week if it continues to go okay. Next shift is Monday.
I came home and mentally collapsed. Lots of mental "stuff" on my mind. I ended up eating a BIG bowl of pasta. Don't ask why -- I have no idea what possessed me except buffering my mental rollercoaster. Now I'm all gluten miserable. Will I ever learn? I don't know. I'm going through a dinner food fatigue. I need to get back to making MEALS for dinner. It's kind of hard with the schedule this month. I need to figure this out because a big pasta bowl tastes great, but I pay the price for days.
Of course, this also panics me about transitioning out of quarantine. See, I can't keep up my good habits ... look what happened. That might have been another reason I made the poor choice -- proving my worry is correct.
Come on, brain. Let's get our act together.
Today is a few errands and prep for the car ride tomorrow. Heading to Asheville with the dogs. So far, we've done okay for the drive without stopping. Fingers crossed this continues. I have and up and back for the next two trips with them -- another worry chapter for me.
Serendipitously I bought 2 books on anxiety last week. Unwinding Anxiety (Jud Brewer) after listening to him on Armchair Expert podcast. Tears to Triumph (Marianne Williamson) after hearing Brooke Castillo talk about how life changing this book was for her. Guess my subconscious knew I was going to have a big old anxiety flare up. I'll let you know more when I get reading them.
Have a happy day. Stay well. Later gators.
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