50-50

Yesterday was a 50-50 day (Brooke Castillo says life is 50-50).  The morning was good.  Took my first 45 minute Peloton ride.  Hard, but not too bad.  Grocery store runs successful too.  Longer walk with the dogs in amazing weather and got caught up with a friendly neighbor.  

Good morning.

Then late afternoon -- all of a sudden a few SMALL things got me feeling upset.  A couple of comments from separate things hurt my feelings.  But (here's the good news), I let myself feel sad.  Sat with it, went to bed with it.  It lingered in the background all evening and I let it be there.  Didn't distract, buffer, try to cheer myself up or talk myself out of the feelings.  Allowing feelings like that takes practice (for me, at least).  

And there was something oddly good about being able to sit with feeling hurt.  I was alone and didn't have to pretend I felt happy.  It was nice.

I'm feeling mostly better this morning.  Still a little sensitive and prickly.  Dreams were all related to my hurt feelings.  But I bet I feel better as the day goes on and the dreams fade away.

In other news ... 

We haven't talked books in forever.  I'm reading Unwinding Anxiety (Judson Brewer).  I listened to a podcast interview about the book and, once again, the podcast is the way to go.  The podcast is the book without all the fluff filler.  I'm about halfway and will finish it, but learning nothing new so far.

On the fiction front, I'm finally reading The Midnight Library (Matt Haig) and it's super interesting so far.  Really well written too with little chapters (something I love).

Speaking of books -- I'm doing a fun thing.  I ordered a Little Free Lending Library from Etsy.  I need to paint it and hang it at our house in Asheville.  I love this concept and the libraries are all around town.  I might get a nasty-gram from the historical society, but I'm taking that risk.  It'll hang on the carriage house railing which is not an history building -- it's basically a modified garage.  This feels good and it'll qualify for a crafty project.  It's a birthday present so my goal is to hang it by end of June.

Katie Couric recommended a menopause supplement company -- Kindra.  I started taking the energy boost for mental and mood clarity.  We'll see if I notice a difference -- only on day 3.  60 days for full effect (makes me think that's a sales tactic though).  Nothing in the supplement makes me concerned, so I feel like it's worth a try.  Problem solving these hormones as much as I can and as safely as I can.

Today I have Duke's grooming appointment and I'm heading to pick up DIL's pressed bouquet in the afternoon.  Lots of little chores and errands to fill out the day.  It should be a good one.

This week of alone time is life giving.  I can't tell you how much I need this -- even though I'm not sitting home alone.  

I'll end with a couple of dog pictures.  Have a happy day and stay well.  Later gators.

Loves to nap like a baby lol!

Patio in Asheville.
Full poodle fluff hair.

Curled up into a little ball.

Bedtime clinging b/c still nervous in the new house.