Sunday Blues

I think (at some point) I wrote about feeling frustrated that when I found something to pull myself out of the low, it was taken away by some circumstance.  Plan A, then B, then C ...

Polly's owner came forward.  The shelter let her go to rescue a couple of days early because of the holiday and her owner found her.  I asked if her condition could be from being lost -- shelter and vet said no.  She's been returned to a family who wildly neglects her basic needs.  By law, the shelter is required to hold a dog to give owner's time to find them -- we had no choice but to return her to the lousy life.  If the hold was over and the dog is woefully neglected, we wouldn't have to return her.  The shelter can't risk loosing it's license.

Now I'm extra sad for her.  No foster and an added bonus of worrying about her.  Dang, Universe.  You are fighting hard.

I have no choice but to accept, have faith and move forward.  I pray that she finds some care and comfort.

Am I trying too hard?  Not hard enough?  Is the message to surrender and let things happen or is the message stand back up and try again?  Or is the message that I'm focusing on the wrong thing to feel better?  I'm confused and frustrated.  No answers.

Memorial Day weekend means a re-watch of Band of Brothers.  Amazing mini-series and amazing bravery.  Puts those mask protesters in perspective in a HUGE way.

I started reading The Lake House.  I bought the paperback because it was much cheaper than kindle and the type font is SMALL.  It's hard to read at night when my eyes are tired.  It's a careful read -- lots of descriptions.  This one will take a bit.

Kids over today for another social distanced BBQ.  We've grilled so much, I'm out of ideas so I'm doing cobb salad with all the fixings -- including some grilled chicken I froze a few weeks ago.  Make your own.  Mask up and take your own serving spoon and there you go.  I have no idea about the rest.  My brain is empty -- something will come to me though.

I'm not doing A Course in Miracles zoom call.  It was nothing but upsetting last week -- don't need that right now.

Speaking of zoom, we did a zoom family call yesterday with my mother at her request (in front of the kids on Mother's Day call, so I felt I had no good choice).  It was the first and last.  Her game play continues.  Right now she's "sunshine and rainbows" and the minute I believe it, she attacks.  It's her pattern for decades that I fell for every single time until about a year ago.  She's a master at this play, but I'm a master at recognizing it now.  Understanding her mental illness has gone a long way to help me interact on my terms.  My sister and my aunt are working on this too.  It's complicated and messy.

That was my afternoon ... Polly returned and a mother video.  See??  Universe is playing rough.

I hope you have a great Sunday.  Stay well.  Later gators.