Pantry Pictures and Water Dreams

When I'm feeling particularly stressed I have dreams about raging water -- I'm never swept away, but I'm always on the edge.  I had 2 water dreams last night.  It's interesting that I remember these dreams vividly.  Usually, a nightmare starts to fade as soon as you become fully awake.  Not these dreams.  I can call to mind so many of them -- I remember everything about them.  Guess it's my mind's way of processing.  Stress is raging around me, but I'm okay.

So why the stress?  Here is a quick rundown.

(1)  Italy is booked.  Yea and not yea.  The trip came together, but travel anxiety has taken over.  No direct flights, lots of solo stuff.  Ugh.  Pulling up my granny-panties and making my 50 year old self DO SOMETHING THAT SCARES ME.  Fortunately, I can table the worry until October -- hah.

(2)  Wedding shower is STILL giving me the most grief.  I won't recap the details, but every turn brings some sort of problem.  EVERY SINGLE TURN.  I mean, come on Universe, throw me a bone.

(3)  Looking more and more like my dress for the wedding won't be delivered.  Love THIS worry.  I'll call next week and see if I can get an update.

(4)  Hubby MIGHT have a job prospect.  It's out of state so every week is travel -- Sunday night to Friday late.  We've talked and talked about pros and cons and this has more pros.  The board needs to approve a remote position (i.e. he'll commute every week to VA).  If this happens, it's happening FAST.  What that means for me (all about me - LOL) ... no birthday trip to Crater Lake ... hubby 24-7 to virtually a single gal ... cut back on fostering until after the wedding.  All CHANGES.  Remember how much I like change?

2020 -- you're kicking my butt.  Good to feel good.  I guess I'm learning to feel good despite my circumstances.  So far, I'm failing quite grandly -- I'm trying.  Stress: 10, Me: 0

Anyway ... let's talk PANTRY.  I'm happy with how it turned out (The Container Store).  It's small, but I was able to add a few drawers.  The best part is I don't have to weight distribute anything -- I can actually organize it.

BEFORE
All spread for weight distribution.

AFTER
Moved my wine rack to the pantry.
One solo bottle LOL

All organized.
It's full, it's small
but it works well.

I'm ordering the shower cake for my DIL today.  I need to get things off my list because it seems like there are hiccups at every turn.  Spice cake, cream cheese icing.  That's the plan -- we'll see what bumps happen :)  I want simple, pretty, elegant design.  (Delicious goes without saying ... I LOVE cake!)

Dinner out with good friends at the rehearsal dinner restaurant tonight.  That's fun.  I have been eating Pete's Paleo for dinner so this is a big meal.  Tonight and tomorrow are bigger dinners again.  Portion controlling dinner is working.  I can notice some things fitting better -- phew.  THIS I have control over so I'm putting my focus on getting myself into The Green Dress.

My plan for today is REMEMBER to feel GOOD.  There's lots of good happening, more control than I realize and this should be fun.  Planning a wedding shower at a winery ... how is that anything but FUN?!?  50th birthday trip to Italy with girlfriends -- come on, I need to get a grip.

I can do this.  Nothing is bad.  In fact, it's all good.  Pep talk 101 ...

Happy Saturday.  Later gators.

Italy Decision Day

Or at least trying to decide.  We have our conference call this morning (thanks, Facebook audio).  There are a number of scenarios that will opt me out.  Not least of which is the virus situation.  I don't want to be quarantined or have all everything canceled last minute.  If everything comes down to a last minute decision, I'll miss the opportunity to have my CELEBRATION year in other ways.

I don't think Italy is in the cards for us.  Too much stacked against this trip.  Holding my breath to see if everything works out -- from planning to executing.  It's not feeling GOOD.  I agreed to this last push and I'll see what happens.  What I won't agree to is another "holding" period.  I can't wait and still do things I want to do.

Pantry is finished, but everything is scattered around the kitchen.  There was a missing part, so the install took ALL DAY.  I need a fresh brain to organize everything.  Tackling it after the Italy phone call.  Pictures tomorrow.

I'm very happy with Pete's Paleo as a way to portion a healthy dinner.  Lots of variety, super easy, awesome customer service ... but not cheap.  Once I fit into The Green Dress, I'll stop the service.  My only "complaint" is the flavor.  Definitely missing seasoning (salt) ... I have to add flavor to every dish.  I had pot roast last night and added horseradish.  Guess it's better than over-seasoned.  Far, far more healthy than Jenny Craig (but just as easy).

I'm slightly panicking about the wedding shower I'm throwing for my DIL.  As expected, it's a very, very small group.  I need to put on a problem-solving hat and get this thing planned out.  Logistics are against me at every turn.  I keep finding solutions and then something changes.  I have to get to the winery to reserve tables (they won't do that for me) and transport A LOT of things.  First, my sister was coming -- nope, too stressful since her husband had surgery.  Then, my sons were set to help -- nope, it's the bachelor party weekend.  Then, my girlfriend volunteered to be my right hand gal -- nope, her daughter is moving that weekend.  I have no help.  Even though this is a small group, it's a lot of DYI and I can't do it alone.  I might need to call in friend favor from the periphery ...  ugh.

On a positive note, I ordered shoes, earrings and possibly a clutch for the wedding.  Earrings are vintage.  Shoes are low wedges (fingers crossed).  Bag is vintage and I LOVE it, but the clasp might be broken (in conversation with the seller).  I need to get something solidified.  I'm scared my dress will not come in from China.  Still haven't worked out my hair either.

2020 is NOT shaping up as I envisioned.  Trusting it's coming together just as it should though -- periods of trusting, periods of panicking.  Of course.

I'm full blown into a panic mode after writing this down.  Best way to quash the panic is to FIGURE STUFF OUT.  I'll work more on that today.

Happy Friday.  Later gators.

The Green Dress

Here's the story of the green dress and my birthday goal.

I got suckered into a Facebook ad for dresses -- so cute, so inexpensive I decided to give it a try.  I was going to church on the regular and needed some easy summer dresses.  One fit and the other was tight in the sleeves (green dress).  So much so, I couldn't really get it on and get it zipped to see if the rest fit.

I emailed the company about an EXCHANGE.  Sure, they say, send us pictures of you with a tape measure to see your measurements and if WE made a mistake, we'll exchange.  What?!?  I told them the other dress was fine, it was the sleeve opening that was tight and there were no posted measurements on the sleeve opening.  I also said I was not sending them pictures of ME with the tape measure around me.  They said -- no exchange or return (BTW, this policy was not advertised anywhere, I checked.)  The dress was $30 and I decided it wasn't worth the fight.  I like the dress and wasn't at my goal size anyway ... so maybe it would fit one day (aka this summer).  Also, obviously, I'll NEVER order from a Facebook ad again (even though the other dress is great).

Sleeves have a tight band around them.
I have chunky upper arms
(not muscle, in case you were wondering LOL)

I thought this would be a good goal for my birthday in June.  Wear the dress that day.  Big middle finger to the company, fun dress for 50 ... sounds like a plan.  I tried it on to see how far I need.  Yep, not close.  I'll try it on every 2 weeks for a progress lookie-loo.

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Here's a quick peek at Pete's Paleo.  Pop in the microwave and the shrink wrap puffs up ... perfectly heated up.  The meals are organic, GF, dairy free and humanly sourced.  They're a little bland in the flavor department so I add salt or hot sauces or something to spice it up.  I don't even dirty a dish to plate it.  The container is nice a firm and feels like a bowl.

The stats on this meal.

BEFORE cooking - still frozen.
Shrink wrapped.

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Next up ... Tulip.  It was a tiring DAY (so much for my quiet time).  I ended up spending the entire afternoon at the house to acclimate the dogs.  The women is a dream adopter, but a little bit crazy about her dogs.  If Tulip can adjust to the energy of her two little guys, it's going to be an incredible home for her.  These dogs are her EVERYTHING.

I got this picture and a note that they were finally doing well together.  Fingers crossed.

Big brothers!!

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Hubby snored and coughed all night.  I had a crappy night's sleep and am fighting a run-down cold.  That combined with the NEED to have some ALONE time, has me a bit spun up this morning.  Almost like PMS.  Makes me wonder ...  might be PMS.  I have no idea in this new peri-menopause world.

Pantry is getting overhauled today -- pictures when it's finished.  I remembered the BEFORE picture (yea ME).

On a happy note, it's good to be back SOLO in my office.  No dogs.  No typing from my bed.  Old routine is back.  P.S.  I got the cork board from Etsy (I like it a lot).  I did some picture arranging to move it over my desk.  I haven't put anything on it yet ... that needs a certain mood and I'm not in it this week.  Office looks good.  Hubby's job stuff has picked up and he's glad to have his own office too.  Win, win.

I think, hope, pray that Friday will be my quiet day.  Hubby is set to golf and dinner with a friend.  We have our Italy conference call in the morning (maybe) and then I'll work on shower planning in the afternoon.  I can't count on it though because I get burned when I do ... so this is a big HOPE only.

I spilt my coffee, so best go and clean up.  It's feeling like PMS - hah.  Later gators.

What is the Opposite of Quiet?

Yesterday was another high ENERGY talking day.  I'll get my needed ALONENESS and STILLNESS a bit today.

First, my BIL surgery went very well -- chatted with my sister.  Waiting on final pathology to determine if chemo is needed, but, otherwise, best possible outcome.

Then ... never ending ITALY trip.  I'm in MY final PUSH to getting things planned and had a long conversation with my BFF.  Plans are too long, too convoluted and not for me.  I offered an alternative and now we wait.  I won't "open" discussions again -- someone else can show an interest.  Of course, we can add that Italy is under precautions for the virus and now Rome is involved.  Also, add that my BFF decided to go on a huge family trip this summer and now wants to "budget" our Italy trip.  "Requirements" keep adding on and that's why things are so convoluted.  My alternative simplifies everything and lessens the cost.  Sounds like a winner to me, but crickets on the feedback.

Coffee with my other great conversation friend was fun.  We put some fun things on the "let's plan" agenda for March.  Yea.  Pottery making on a wheel and honey bees.  Stay tuned for more.  I found them on Airbnb Excursions.  I thought the excursions were trip packages or tied to a rental.  Nope.  I searched Atlanta Excursions and so many fun things popped up.  Great resource for travel too.  It's local stuff that might not populate a google search.  Super excited for a new resource for unusual things to do (other than lunch or coffee or hike).

Books:
Finished Educated (Tara Westover) on the trip.  It was okay.  The story is incredible and I know it's been questioned for it's authenticity, but it seemed honest to me.  It was okay in that it was heavy stuff -- under the umbrella of real-life so extra disturbing.

I started A Tale for the Time Being (Ruth Ozeki) on the plane. I didn't get too far because I was seated next to a talker - hah.  It was a recommendation on the Today Show by the author of Dear Edward.  It gets good reviews.

Trial adoption day for Tulip.  Drive to fancy part of the city and fingers crossed for this little bird.  This family pushed incredibly hard to have her and seems like a fantastic home.  Their other 2 dogs are special needs too and one is from our rescue.

Pete's Paleo is great so far.  I'll show some pictures (when I remember to take them - hah) and more of my "review" once I've eaten a few more.  Last night was chicken, roasted golden beets and sautéed bok choy -- only 310 calories (most are around 500 calories).  I added green beans and hot sauce.

Big family dinner on Sunday.  We haven't had one in weeks because of weekend travel for everyone. Getting bacon wrapped filets from the butcher, mashed potatoes, salad and biscuits.  DIL is making an apple pie.  Grand-dogs are coming over.  It should be fun.  Time to run to A Course in Miracles in the morning before prepping for dinner.  Recipe for a good day.

I'm well entrenched in my "diet" to get back into my pants.  We'll chat about it tomorrow. I have a new goal -- fit into a green dress.  Stay tuned ... I'll take a picture and explain the green dress.

Happy Hump Day.  Later gators.

Austin, TX

Home sweet home last night.

We had a fantastic weekend.  Started immediately finding out we WERE on the same flight.  She gave me her flight times (connection in Atlanta) and it was strange I couldn't find that flight to book for myself.  Turns out, her phone converted times to PST and it WAS the same flight.  Woo hoo.  Made the morning a little extra fun.

Austin took us a minute to get to know.  The accommodations were newly renovated, but the grossest pillow/bedding ever.  There was NOTHING extra in the house.  Totally empty except a dish set for 4 people and a Mr. Coffee with no filters or coffee to be found.  "Walking" distance to restaurants, etc turned out to be a 2 mile walk.  Not exactly grab-a-quick-coffee walk.  I forgot to take pictures.  We had our own rooms with on-suite bathrooms -- only nice part.

Austin is gentrifying and it's construction everywhere.  Beautiful, then falling apart, then beautiful.  That took us a minute to adjust.  We pictured quaint and cute, etc.  Once you get a minute to know the city, it's amazing.  Art, music, food.  Has it all.  It's gorgeously LIBERAL and signs of that inclusion and kindness were everywhere.  Bathroom signs -- ANY gender, just wash your hands.  LOVE inclusion.  Something as simple as a bathroom sign can make someone feel seen.

I didn't do the best job at taking pictures, but here are a few.

Music tour on a guided pedal bike.
We FROZE our asses off.
Two hours -- too long and mostly boring.
Gave us a good story to tell -- laughed all weekend about it.

Zoom in ...

Gas and Kombucha -- got to love it!

Walking street art tour -- super interesting.
Gas station.  Artists take rundown payphone areas and make them beautiful.

Let's talk FOOD.  AMAZING!!  Street tacos, incredibly unusual salad choices, sushi, BBQ.  We had so many delicious meals.  Ate well, didn't overeat.  Had a couple of glasses of wine each night.  Home and in bed by 8:30.  That was a treat.  The only picture I took was the least exciting part of one of my meals -- sashimi.  This is my sushi-loving friend and we always eat a sushi meal together -- it's the law LOL.

Austin gets a big thumbs up.  Knowing what I know, I would stay in a different area, but otherwise ... incredible city.

As expected, I TALKED and TALKED and TALKED (and listened, of course).  Great conversations and connection with a very good friend.  Now I need to hibernate -- hah.  Even my plane neighbors were chatty -- the entire flight.  I was open to it all, but now I need to reenergize a little.

I have coffee plans with another great conversation friend today -- not the best timing, but I'll go with it.  I need to focus on quiet time and sleep.  For some reason, I was wide-awake at 4:30 this morning.  I know I'm depleted and depleted leads to getting sick for me -- I can feel it now.   I have a lot to get going on the wedding shower and I can't afford to get sick.

I ate the first Pete's Paleo meal and it was yummy.  Meatballs, spinach and spaghetti squash.  I'll eat this week and chat about it soon.  Also, finished a book, started another ... more on that too.

Pantry is getting overhauled from The Container Store on Thursday.  Can't wait!  Picking up materials today.

Big week ahead.  Have to pace myself and do the THINGS.  Great trip, glad to be home -- that's the way I want it -- later gators.

Couldn't Sleep ...

... so one more quick 'hello' before my trip.

So jeans sort of fit.  I have a lot of ankle length, roll the bottom kind that aren't great for winter.  One long length fit (phew) and I'm making it work with higher ankle boots for the other, shorter pair.

I've said it before, I have a distorted body image THE OTHER WAY.  I don't feel that much bigger that so much doesn't fit.  That's why I was worried about finding jeans -- I know that I'm underestimating my situation -- clothes don't lie.

The good news is the difference between fitting and not fitting isn't THAT much.  Certainly a few months is plenty of time to get back into fighting shape LOL.

I'm grateful for a non-food centric weekend.  I'm having a moment of clarity and resolve in regard to healthy habits and it will be nice not to step back too far this weekend.

I'm so excited to start Pete's Paleo meals.  Variety, organic, humanly sourced ... and I don't have to cook.  Portion controlled so when dinner is finished, it's finished.  I might add some veggies for more bulk, but that's it.  

We made some progress on the Italy trip yesterday.  Setting a nice, but firm boundary got things moving.  That said, planning a BIG, LONG trip on a travel anxiety day wasn't fun.  I kept reminding myself not this was not that and not to think about THAT until it happens.  (I'm much less anxious this morning -- as always happens.)

My girlfriend is already on the way from CA.  She left 2am my time, connects in ATL and lands only 2 hours before me.  I tried to get on her connection, but it wasn't open for booking.  That seems crazy to me.  Especially since I got to sleep.  I'm up at 3:30, but I went to SLEEP at 7:30.  Got my 8 - hah.

I'm doing a 30 minute yoga workout this morning.  Good for stretching since I'll be sitting a lot.

I have to squeeze all my crap into a carryon -- it's all in packing cubes, but I need some of the stuff to get ready this morning so I haven't actually tried to fit it.  Fingers crossed.  I prefer to check a bag so I don't have the hassle (I have ZERO status), but all to save a buck and ensure my luggage actually gets there.  I might gate check if they offer.

It's good for me to exercise my TRAVEL ALONE muscle.  I can easily feel like I can't do it ... directions, problem solving, taking a Lift, etc.  I absolutely can and I need to keep in practice.  Italy is quickly become a lot of solo travel and that makes me nervous.  Feel the fear, do it anyway.  Anxiety is only a vibration.  I don't want to become THAT person.  Middle-aged woman who's scared of her own shadow -- and that is possible if I'm not careful.  I know myself.

Anyway, lots of morning rambles.  Off for some fun and friendship.  Later gators.

Travel Jitters ... as ALWAYS

Day before a trip -- it's as inevitable as taxes and death ... I get anxious.  I expect it.  I don't try to do anything about it (nothing works).  I'd probably freak out if it WASN'T there ... LOL.  Hello, my pain-in-the-butt nerves.

My girlfriend canceled on coffee today.  Her dog was injured in a dog fight and she needs to be home.  I'm disappointed and I understand and I'm kind of glad.  The last few days have been hectic and I could use a quiet day before a big social weekend.  Hubby is golfing.  Me and the dogs.  This weekend will be AWESOME, but I will be low on sleep and high on talking.  Some peace before the fun will feel good.

Tulip is already feeling better.  Meds work fast and she got fluids which perked her right up.  She slept through the night -- we both needed a good sleep.

Pete's Paleo came yesterday.  I must have misread the timing ... always set to arrive Thursday or Friday.  Anyway, it looks EXCELLENT.  I froze it and will give some reviews and pictures next week.  I'd try it today, but I have some food to finish up before I leave for the weekend.  Hubby will take a hard pass on my green beans and zucchini -- hah.

As far as eating this weekend ... I'm all set for a good, healthy time.  My girlfriend texted and we chatted before the trip.  She started a food plan 2 weeks ago and is having a dry month.  Neither matters to me in the sense, I'll eat/drink however I want.  What makes a difference is food will NOT be the centric point of this trip.  At first, for her, it was ... how decadent can we be ... and then I'd be scrambling to find something I wanted.  We are on the same page ... lots of movement, healthy food, great company, fun city and LIFE BETTER THAN FOOD.  (Not to say, I won't have some good food -- I simply won't overindulge or feel pressured to "join in.")

Today is a jeans test.  I won't fit into The Jeans by a long shot, but I need to fit into SOME jeans.  I haven't worn anything but sweatpants (joggers) for about 2 weeks.  Wish me luck.  Otherwise, dresses for the win.

I won't check in tomorrow. I have an early flight and dog duty before we head out -- they get up when I get up lately.  I'm excited to experience Austin, TX and I'll have a recap on Tuesday.  We're taking a street art tour on Sunday -- bet that's interesting.

Have a great weekend :)  Later gators.

I Need a Vacation

It's not often I feel like I need to get away -- I usually feel like I want to stay home.

I hate to type say out loud, but I'm up to my eyeballs in rescue work and I need a break -- from people especially, but kind of also dogs (sounds horrible).  Tulip has explosive, bloody diarrhea.  She didn't get to the vet yesterday because there was a snafu.  Poor baby feels puny.  Her potential adoption is all wonky now too (long, long story of 2 competing friends who don't want to upset each other -- ugh).  I spent the day on the phone with ALL THE DOG THINGS.  Mimi's failed adopter is pushing to get a refund against her contract and bugging me like crazy too.

I declared a break for my pedicure.  I'm shutting off my phone (!!)  Then bloody diarrhea and waiting for the vet appointment -- so nope, phone ON and still no appointment.

But, I did okay yesterday.

Pedicure chair was broken and to compensate, I got an extra, extra long massage.  YES, thank you!  I decided to give my kindle a quick charge and promptly left it on the counter because diarrhea-gate hit.  It worked out well.  I shut my eyes and RELAXED.  It felt good.

I know it seems like I shouldn't NEED to relax -- my "busy" is relative, but I needed an emotional break.  I focused on breathing and enjoying the massage.  My toes are my favorite blue/gray and I'm happy.  Today, is SNS and eyebrows.  If Tulip needs her appointment during that time, I'm calling in a favor to hubby and he's taking her.  (I okayed a full week ski trip for him in 2 weeks -- this is small in comparison, right?)

I'm trying to let go of the Italy annoyance.  It will work out or it won't.  If it doesn't, I'm finding a wellness spa and doing exactly what I want -- no compromise.  I've set my boundary regarding my "driving the planning bus" with the group and that's that.  If a decision takes too long and flights are too expense, I'm out -- just as I said.  I have no problem that people might need a few days to think on their decision, but they all saw the message -- you could at least acknowledge it.  Even if it's to say, I need a week to look into it.  That's the part that's going up my butt -- it's rude in my book.  But, being annoyed gets me nowhere but mentally somewhere I don't want to be.  Big breath and letting it go (*trying*).

I can't wait to get away this weekend.  This is my FAVORITE conversation friend in the universe.  We could talk to the end of days and it's never boring stuff.  I don't care what we do, I only want to have girl time and take care of NO ONE but me.  I need a mental recharge in the biggest way.  She is easy and fun and decisions aren't a chore -- no overthinking, no peacocking.  I should go to Italy with her - hah! (BTW, Austin is where Jen Hatmaker lives -- wouldn't mind running into her and becoming best friends.)

Pete's Paleo delivery has been processed.  I'll start it on Tuesday when I get back.  I hope this helps with portion control and food boredom.  I've been eating well, but still too much.  That said, I feel in a good place to tackle fitting into my clothes.

My intention for today is to go with the flow.  Have a good day despite circumstances.  Problem solve and not throw my hands up in helplessness.  I always have choices, but I'm quick to forget that when stuff gets messy.

Later gators.

Hump Day Updates

Mimi is at boarding and I'm fostering from afar.  I'm handling her applications and transport if she needs to go to meet and greets -- things like that.  My heart still hurts, but I remind myself there's a happy ending in her future.  Meanwhile, boarding isn't ideal but it's MILES better than the shelter where she lived.  She has a great time during the day -- it's nights that are lonely.

Tulip has a trial starting next weekend.  This lady has some $$ and she has a full-time dog sitter because she rescues special needs dogs.  Fingers crossed -- this sounds perfect.

I stayed home yesterday because I got caught up in a whirlwind of rescue work.  It was a productive day, but today I need to get out.  #1 mood helper is to MOVE.  I feel good this morning and I want to keep it that way.  Another rainy day -- it's been a wet winter.

My workouts are still wonky.  I'm trying to heal my leg so no running.  I also took a chunk of my knuckle off with a  mandolin slicer -- that makes boxing difficult -- crazy, right?!  (P.S. This silly cut has been a bear to heal -- horrible spot and it bleeds all the time.  Finally getting serious about bandaging and treating.)  So it's power walking and yoga for the near future.  I miss the intensity of the other workouts, but in some ways these "gentle" workouts feel good.

I've been snagging quotes off of Instagram -- whenever I need a boost, I like reading things that strike me.  This is interesting ... lying (to myself), drinking (aka buffering with food or drink) ... it might get you part of the way to feeling better (or not feeling AS BAD), but it never gets you to the REALLY GOOD stuff.  This path DOES feel longer, harder, lonelier right now and sometimes I question if it's worth it -- then I read this and I'm not alone in the messy.  Yep, I know deep down it's important.

In other very important news ... pedicure day today.  Relaxation.  New color pick.  Time to read.  I'm looking forward to a little ease and a little fun.  Phone is going OFF.  I don't want any "news" to dampen some ME TIME.

I put out my final PUSH for planning our Italy trip with the high school girls -- I can't be the only one driving the bus.  Only got one response so far and it wasn't really forward motion.  My turn is finished.  I wonder if I'm setting this boundary because that's how I do these days (hah) or if, maybe, I don't want to go.  Not going feels perfectly fine to me.  I love Italy, so going is about enjoy that country again -- feels so much less about friendship (sadly).  Probably because I think I'll have a lot of travel frustration with this group.  We'll see ...

When I get back from Austin, I need to hit the ground running on the wedding shower.  I have balls in the air and I need to actually get stuff settled.  It's getting REAL now!!

Oops -- dogs need a potty break.  Have a great hump day!  Later gators.

I'm Trying ...

I walked the walked, talked the talk and did my things yesterday.  I had some rollercoaster moments, but the day was more up than down.

Sunshine helped.
Getting out of the house helped.
Meditation -- check.
Workout -- check.
Healthy, regular meals -- check.

I also did some oldie but goodie things that make me feel good.  I had a few days of forgetting to add fun compounding a rollercoaster mood.

After the dentist (no cavities - hah), I went to my usual lunch spot for my favorite greek salad, time to read and relax.  It's counter service, but the owner recognizes me now.  She calls me hunny and she's really kind.  It makes me feel good having a little private lunch, but feeling welcomed at the same time.

I online shopped a little too.  I know shopping to feel good can be a no-no, but this was a few little happy things -- a little pick-me-up.  Quote cards -- I'll tell you about them when they come and a gift for my girlfriend this weekend.

I also took the dogs out for a walk in the afternoon since the sun was actually out.  Next 3 days are rain again.  Here's Tulip's walk ...

Dog stroller with straps so she can't jump out.

Duke cuddles -- always nice :)
He usually cuddles with hubby.

A big down moment came because Mimi is getting returned.  I don't feel like they gave her a chance - they made a big error with introductions and aren't willing to have our rescue pay for a home introduction session and evaluation.  They are snapping to a judgement and 2 days of dogs together with some very positive interactions is not enough time.  Dogs growl -- it's a communication.  There was nothing more.  Things happen for a reason and I have to trust that this was EXACTLY the way it was meant to happen for her.  Sometimes I can get myself to that place, but sometimes I'm sad about it.  And, I was so pumped about the universe stepping in to help her -- it feels like it flaked.  I need to trust this IS the universe helping her.  What's that quote ... everything will be alright in the end and if it's not alright, it's not yet the end.

I'm making progress in Christiane Northrup's book, The Wisdom of Menopause.  I'm finished with the parts about emotion and brain changes.  The rest of the book is hormones, replacement options, diet, symptoms, etc.  I'll read if I'm having issues -- otherwise, I'm skimming.  The chapters on emotion rang true for what I'm experiencing -- and make me feel better about the process.  I swear -- I've never cried this much for this many days about seemingly nothing.  Crying during meditation is a regular thing now.  No specific reason.  Just crying.

Talking emotions ... the part I'm trying to navigate is allowing verses wallowing.  Sometimes it's easy to see the difference, but other times it's a gray line.  Is the crying healing?  Are the emotions valid or is it a story I'm telling myself?

The conventional menopause talk says the "extra" emotion is simply hormones.  The NEW convention (supported by a community of forward thinkers) is that menopause is a time to heal things that you were too busy caring for others to take the time to feel.

As a woman, we do this -- others first during our "childbearing" years -- nature's way of ensuring a family dynamic.  Menopause (peri) is a time for inner reflection and moving that caregiving hand inward.  THIS is exactly how I've been feeling the last year -- and it makes sense to me.

Lordy, it's messy and a rollercoaster of a lifetime.  Christiane Northrup (and others) say hold on, do the work and the other side is well worth it.  Don't do the work, suppress the emotion, fight changing and the second part of your life can be riddled with things like anxiety and dis-ease and general unhappiness.

Why aren't we talking about this?  I'm floored.

I promise EVERYDAY won't be about The Change, but there will be talk.  This is HUGE in my life right now and I want to walk the walk well.  Doing HARD so that things can be better.  I don't want HARD without better.  It's worth talking about.  P.S.  I'm hoping for a quick peri-menopause stage -- not knowing when my monthly is coming or how heavy is ALREADY a big pain.

Today is a totally free day on the calendar, but I have lots to do getting ready for my trip this weekend.  Not sure what I need to do for Mimi today either.  My "free" might become full.  Rain all day -- already started.  It's a little-dog-poop-in-the-house day.

Later gators.

4 - 10 Years

Prepare your hearts -- this could be a pattern for the next many, many, many years.  How I wish I was kidding!!

I'm EMOTIONAL again.  Post ovulating ... I'm I getting hit with a double whammy each month?

Yesterday felt yucky.

First Mimi problems.  Mimi was never introduced to her brother dog in the home until yesterday (we had no idea) and it didn't go well.  Duh.  She's protecting her new life.  Calls all day long, crying on and off (what the heck), upset stomach.  The founder of our rescue is out of the country for 3 weeks and everything is falling on a very overwhelmed little group.  Energy and responses were charged and I was crashing with each interaction.  Solution options happening this week.  If Mimi can't live with another dog, she's not coming back to us.  She'll go to a foster with no dogs or boarding (which she loves, BTW) until we can get her adopted.  This is upsetting on so many levels.

Then Tulip.  She's NOT housebroken as they said.  She's totally the opposite -- with diarrhea.  It's another Aspen situation.  Everyone wants her and now no one wants her.  She's going to be with us for a lot longer than expected.  "She just needs a home for a week to get adopted."  Nope.

Dentist today.  Why, Universe, why?!?!?

I need to prioritize my "things."  I tried so many times to do a meditation yesterday and kept letting myself get interrupted.  The things help.  I'm sad though and sad means I feel like doing nothing (aka let myself get interrupted).  That's my intention today -- make time to do what helps.

I can't seem to get a stable emotion base lately.  Things are throwing me left and right.  Something happens and then a shit-storm piles on top.  I do okay for a bit and then I can't keep up with all the add-ons.

Fun Monday morning hello -- right?!?

Fortunately, for all of us, I have to run and take dogs to potty (again) so this Debbie-downer post is over ... for now.  I hope to report all things better tomorrow.  Later gators.

Sofa Slug

Yesterday was sponsored by Netflix ... Anne with an E ... all day long.

I didn't set out to have such a non-productive, do nothing day, but it happened.  First, the show is AMAZING!  Second, Tulip LOVES to cuddle on the sofa.  Third, hubby is sick and spent the day upstairs away from me (hopefully, I stay well).  Forth, everyone is away for the long weekend.

Seemed about fitting.

I'm back today to the land of DOING CRAP and have a big list to get through.  Grocery store, rescue calls, paperwork, etc.  I also need to take my little Duke for a run.  Poor boy is going stir crazy.

Sometimes you have to call a play on the field and go with it.  No shower, no workout, no nothing.  Day of a stay-cation or a veg-cation, as it were.

Tulip is settling in -- she just wants to be with a person.  She's so popular, the rescue made her available for adoption rather than fielding so many inquiries.  She's been with the rescue for over a month while they waited on her leg brace (another foster and boarding).

Mimi and Bear are settling in per adopter reports.  Dog pictures coming later ... I'm in bed typing this while Tulip is cuddling and don't have my "stuff."  (I sleep her in a crate at night -- she's too little to be in the bed -- so morning cuddles are a MUST LOL).

Tomorrow I'll be back in my office and back to regular posting.  Later gators.

Typhoid Mary is Home

Hubby is back with all his GERMS.  Fun -- putting up all my shields since I'm going away next weekend. Valentine's Day 2020 -- sounds about right.

Today is the long drive to get Tulip.  Hubby reminded me she's an owner surrender and probably knows her name ... I'll still call her Toolie sometimes though.  I nickname every name (!!)  Hopefully, I can find a few podcasts for the drive.  I'm running low after Monday's car trip.

Bear seems to be settling ... or rather, Bear's adopter seems to be settling.  He was fine from minute one.  Mimi is going HOME today for her adoption.  It's been a big dog week for us.

This weekend is a lot of NOTHING.  It's a big out-of-town week and we're the sorry saps left in town.  JUST occurring to me now ... I wonder what a long weekend means for my traffic today.  This could be awesome or devastating.  Fingers crossed for awesome.

Hubby has plans though (golf and such) -- he's been Mr. Social lately.  Guess it's me and the dogs.  I have nothing on the calendar until Monday's dentist appointment.  (Even this post is extra boring.)

I cued up the next book on kindle.  Educated (Tara Westover).  It's a memoire with a bit of controversy.  Is it real?  Is it exaggerated on purpose?  It's highly recommended though and I want to give it a read.

Okay, I'm boring myself.  I need to figure out some fun for this weekend.  Happy Valentine's Day -- later gators.

Some Woo Woo Stuff

I made it through meditation without crying, but I did cry later listening to a podcast (not very much though - hah).

My woo woo for today is about meditation yesterday.  I often start meditation with kind of a prayer and then move to silent meditating.  I asked for help with 2 things -- a relationship with a friend that has become strained and, as always, help getting my eating habits under control.

I looked for something to listen to while I was in the shower and ended up listening to Abraham Hicks short audios.  I listened to the one linked in Instagram stories and then it autoplays.

The next one was about desiring something with such urgency, such intensity that you are resisting the solution.  Yep, my eating desire.

The next one after (they're short) was why you have difficulty with a friend.  It's the energy that I'm putting out is making her energy defensive and the round and round continues.  Break the cycle, approach with love (or a better energy) and the interaction will be better.  Yep, my strained relationship.  I come to the table with an aggressive energy underneath -- totally true.  I tried it and the conversation felt good -- better than it's been in a long time.

Hmmmm.  Thanks, Universe.

I started the menopause book.  It's huge and covers from the science of it to the woo woo of it.  It starts with the woo woo.  Christiane Northrup  says peri-menopause brings up emotions that need to be healed.  Leaving the "mother" hormones behind -- the ones that tell us to take care of everything, do for ourselves last, be the mother figure, etc. brings forth a new independence, new desires.  This can SEEM crazy, out of character ... oh, it's the hormones misbehaving ... but, she says, it's not.  We find our BIG voice in peri-menopause and if we suppress it, it can show up as a dis-ease in menopause.  We come into our truest self when we let this transition happen.

Depending how much we need to heal, the peri-menopause stage can be almost explosive at times.  The more we've worked on our healing, the more gentle the peri-menopause transition.

I'm open to this idea.  It speaks to what I feel right now.  Setting boundaries, speaking my truth, being myself, closing doors, opening other doors, searching.  I can also see this idea in some of the women I know who have gone through menopause -- even though they don't talk about it as menopause.

I think I'm officially a WOO WOO girl.  I don't know why this stuff happens though.  Manifesting -- hate that word.  Focusing on something so it happens.  Desire for it means it's already in the cards.  Not resisting so coming from a better place to find a solution.  The WHY isn't super important to me, but I see the results over and over.  So many times, I can't deny it.  There is some sort of magic in this kind of "work."

I'm a believer.  I'm also a believer in "pray with walking feet." (Quaker quote)  Pray, but also DO.  Prayer isn't passive.  Change isn't passive.  Sometimes DOING is listening, getting quiet, but it's still DOING.

____________________________________________________________________________

Now, back to the regular world LOL.

We are having a big old storm right now.  Thunder, hail ... fun times.  These are the moments I'm glad my old dog isn't here -- he was so frightened of storms as he got older.  No dog walking today.

I like my new perfume from Glossier -- You.  At first, I wasn't sure, but it changes scent as it sits on your skin.  Smells a bit different on everyone.  I like it enough that I "wore" it out yesterday.  It goes on a little too sweet, but mellows once I have it on -- I did use too much the first time.

My self-care day was good, including my food.  I ate the exact same thing from Zoe's Kitchen for lunch and dinner.  Salmon and veggies.  It was a healthy eating day.  Automatic portion control.

It inspired me to do a meal delivery service for a bit to get my eating under control (instead of Jenny Craig).  I eat well for a bit, but fall off the wagon too often.  If I'm paying for this (like JC), I'll be inclined to be accountable.  Accountability without getting weighed or doing another Whole30.

Pete's Paleo.  It gets good reviews, organic, well sourced protein and fully cooked.  I ordered the plan for 10 meals/week and I'll see what it's like.  I missed the order date for this week, so it won't start for about a 10 days.  Cancelation at anytime.  No dairy, no gluten, no soy.  Stay tuned -- I'll be giving lots of scoop (and food pictures!).

I have errands and coffee with a friend today.  It'll be short because she volunteers this afternoon (this was the postponement from my flat tire day).  Looks like the storms are bringing in a cool front by midday and finishing the rain until next week.  Wish me luck not floating away LOL.

I had the most comfortable night's sleep.  You know how some nights the bed feels PERFECT.  That was last night.  Me and Duke were snug as a bug all night.  Love that feeling.

Tomorrow is another LONG drive to get Toolie.  Glad it wasn't today.  I need to go check to see if the patio is flooding -- this is a crazy storm.  Stay dry.  Later gators.

Rain, Rain, Go Away

Tire is fixed ... $34 ... plus a complimentary car wash and vacuum.  Not bad at all.  Almost 3 hours of my time though -- that was a bummer.  Good news?  I finished Dear Edward (Ann Napolitano).  As promised, it became a heartwarming, uplifting story.  I'm glad I stuck with it.  The menopause book in up next and I need another fiction pick from my list.

And AAA was EVERYTHING!!  Arrived in 30 minutes.  Took 10 minutes to change the tire.  Nicest mechanic.  I'll never be without a membership and I'll never change my own tire.  There, I said it.  I don't care.

I was tired yesterday.  Tired of driving (the home check was way out in the country).  Tired of waiting around (it was extra, extra long).  Tired, period.  I made a choice to pick up Tulip (Toolie) on Friday instead of today.  I need a couple of days to get myself caught up (and not be on a long drive with my leg).  Refrigerator is scary empty.  Friends have been on the back burner.  Time to care for myself before I'm caring for a new foster.

Look at this little lady!
Her leg brace is forever,
but she handles it like a champ.

You know, I enjoy a rainy day, but this is wonky weather.  It won't stop raining.  Everything is flooded, soaked, muddy, miserable.  I thought today was the end, but it's the start of another 2 day front.  Ark time?!?!  I miss being outside -- walking, hiking.

Today is a ME day.  Not exactly sure what that will look like, but I'm taking some time to enjoy myself.  Lunch with a friend, maybe take-out for dinner (grocery stores on Thursday).  A little Netflix.  I started Anne with an E and it's awesome.  These were my favorite books growing up (I had a lot of favorites!!)  I wanted to name my daughter Anne (only had boys though).  Memories -- books were a big part of my childhood.

My Duke needs some attention too.  Nothing at all for him to do (he HATES being wet LOL).  I think a Starbucks run and a pup-cup might be just the thing. (P.S. I've been waiting to use this - hahaha.)  Can I also say, not having a convenient Starbucks has dropped my consumption at least 2/3rds -- no joking.  I'll probably do more in the warmer months, but YEA ME saving $$.

Hubby comes home very late tomorrow.  He and his friend are both sick.  Yikes -- I don't want the germs.  Hopefully, he'll be on the mend before he gets back.

I accidentally problem solved my chair situation.  With or without the cushion, the angle is wrong for my leg.  I use it for a little while and then take it off.  I tossed it under my desk and just happened to put my feet on it.  Problem solved.  Angle is so much more comfortable.  It takes the pressure off my leg totally.  That was a nice surprise.  I have such a problem sitting -- always have, but it's getting worse as I get older.  Runs in my family too.  That's why car rides are the pits for me.  I hurt after about an hour and it stays the entire day.

My mood has lifted.  Hormones?  Stressors?  Thought work?  Not sure, but I'll take it.  I was SO EMOTIONAL this week.  I cried every single day -- multiple times.  I start my meditation and am sobbing by minute one -- SOBBING (!!)  Who am I?  I went with it and figured I must need a good cry.  I'm curious if I'll cry during meditation this morning too.   Am I "healing" or am I going CRAZY?  That's the question of this season - hah.  Maybe the menopause book with offer some clarity.

Mid-week.  Make it a good one.  Later gators.

Time to Walk the Talk

But first, a fit.

Let's start with the juicy bit from yesterday ... 5 hours of driving in pouring rain on Atlanta highways and then on country dirt roads.  Last 30 minutes driving home on a FLAT TIRE.

Did I walk the talk?  Calmly accept my situation?  Not immediately LOL.  First, I had a tired, hungry FIT at all the dang drivers that were not letting me get home fast enough -- don't they know, can't they see, I hate people.  Brain ranting -- my specialty.

I made it home, took a breath and hubby called from his "marvelous" ski trip.  "Offering" advice that he doesn't take himself (shop the price of a tire around, see if it can be patched, don't take it to the dealer).  I "politely" told him I wasn't asking for advice.

A full belly, wine (oops) and a car appointment for today ... and I took another breath and realized how grateful I was to make it home.  Getting stuck on any of those highways in traffic and pouring rain would've been dangerous -- a flat in the country could've taken forever to get AAA.

Took a minute (and some bitching), but I moved to acceptance and gratitude.

Here's a plug for AAA.  I'm calling this morning to get my spare put on -- no, I won't do it myself.  Yesterday after I left the kids, my son's car wouldn't start.  AAA -- new battery, under warranty, fixed in an hour.  It's worth every bit of the membership cost.

I did some problem solving for today.  Switched plans AGAIN with my girlfriend and if all times well, I should be able to do the home check for MiMi later this afternoon.

Here's all the GOOD stuff that was OBVIOUSLY GOOD -- no extra breathing needed LOL.

No flooding on my patio.  There's water, but since it wasn't flash flooding kind of water -- nothing came up to the house.  It's the first thing I checked this morning.  Worst of the rain will be finished by tonight.

MiMi's meet with the other dog (new brother) went superbly.  Her husband is over the moon for MiMi too and has already visited the pet store for all her essentials.  Paperwork is the only step left and then she will be their dog.  Bless this sweet girl -- AMAZING set of events to make this happen.  Fate did her job and I'm glad to have played a part.

Bear is in his new home.  His mama spoils the living daylights out of her little girl (in the best way), but that might be a problem.  Everything is about her little dog.  I set expectations that they might have an adjustment, it might take a minute for her to love Bear like she loves ChiChi -- all the things. She is a little tentative.  I don't mind getting Bear back but I won't do that drive again -- that's on her.  I'll meet her an hour away, but not getting on those big highways.  Fingers crossed for them all.  I think she's lonely and this would be a great home for Bear.

Next up ... Tulip.  I've already decided to call her a nickname ... pronounced "toolie."  In writing, it's strange, but Tulip doesn't roll off my tongue.  Pick up is up in the air.  Maybe tomorrow.  Another LONG drive on THOSE highways.  Ugh.  I'll see what today brings.

I'm back in acceptance mode.  Back to problem solving.  Feeling grateful for all the GREAT things happening this week.  Took a detour for a minute and it felt yucky.  That's a place I lived far too frequently, for far too long -- no wonder I was never happy.  Seeing the practical upside to this work confirms the importance FOR ME.  Experiencing a backslide yesterday was another good reminder that living in that space isn't living.

Arguing with reality never works to solve the situation and never feels good.  Solving the problem with acceptance is more effective, more pleasant and more interesting.  Can I find something good?  Can I make something good?  Today's extra good?  2 hour appointment and I get to read my book.  That feels like an added goodie to my day.  Plus they have a really good beverage bar -- lots of gourmet tea bags and I'm all up for it.

P.S.  Eckhart Tolle uses an example of a flat tire in the rain to talk about acceptance ... didn't have to "imagine" his advice on that one LOL.

I'll say it again ... stay dry, stay safe ... and I'll add (for me), stay PRESENT and calm.  (Also, stay away from the wine.)  Later gators.

Adoption(s) Day?

We might have a twofer happening today.  Bear is headed to AL to for a possible adoption and MiMi is meeting her dog-brother to see if it's a match.  Fingers crossed for both of them.

If we have a double adoption this week, we are fostering a special needs dog starting Friday.  8 lbs and probably stepped on early in life.  Broken spine and broken leg -- both healed but healed improperly.  There's nothing that can be done surgically because of the combination of injuries.  She'll wear a brace on her leg during the day for the rest of her life.  She's a sweetheart and needs a place to land.  I asked hubby for a Valentine's Day gift this year -- a Tulip (she has the best name) -- he said yes 💖

Lunch was nice, seeing the kids was great, seeing the grand-doggies was fun too.  Came home and forgot to watch the Oscars.  I'll check out the replays today.

I'm watching The Great British Bake Off.  I started with the most recent season.  It's a fun show to watch -- although binge watching is getting a little old.  I'll probably give it a break, but it's nice to know I have tons of seasons should I need something relaxing and easy to watch.  The British are a funny people -- lord I love them.

The menopause book came -- it's HUGE!!  Guess I'll be very educated :)  Christiane Northrup is the expert on all things LADY.

Here's the goodie that I was INFLUENCED on ... actually started with The Barefoot Contessa and then some of the ladies on Instagram recommended Glossier products.  I need a new lip balm (the philosophy one I use is discontinued).  These come in flavors or no flavor -- color tint or no color.  Lots of choices.  My only complaint is you need to use your finger.  It's good for home use when I can always wash my hands ahead.  I'll need something else for my purse.  I also tried the perfume, YOU.  I wanted a second scent to wear around at night.  I get nose blind to my day scent (Light Blue).  It's okay -- might be a little sweet (or maybe I put too much on).  It suppose to be very different on each person and last a long time (probably put too much on LOL).

I like the mint (no color)
and the Rose (pink tint).

I read more of Dear Edward and it needs to pick up soon.  Still so darn heavy.  I'm ready for a lighter, happier read.  Somehow I don't think the menopause book will be that light read I'm needed - hah!

I should get some podcast listening today on my long drive.  I'll have to select one podcast per ride (there and back) because it's too hard to switch podcasts while driving.  The next one autoplays from the same podcast.  I'll start with Gretchen Rubin.  Her podcasts are consistently good and entertaining.  I'm nervous about this drive -- rain and potential flooding.  I'm not familiar with the area I'm driving through so I'm a bit worried about road flooding.  It's suppose to rain for the next 3 days or I would postpone.

My monthly is STILL heavy.  That's going to make for an interesting drive with a dog in my car.  Not sure how to handle it.  Bear might have to be in a crate in the car while I run for a potty break.

When I downloaded my phone pictures, a ton of old pictures re-downloaded (my wacky computer).  This oldie, but goodie ... Duke has the biggest case of FOMO -- always.  I hurt my ankle and had been icing it.  Went to the bathroom and came back to find Duke had stolen the ice bag and was sitting with his paw under it.  He watches EVERYTHING!!

Happy Monday.  Once again, stay dry and safe.  Sending out some good adoption vibes today.  Later gators.

Snow Day in the ATL

Who knew?  We got over 3 inches.  It was that much because it was the most perfect, fluffy, huge flaked snow.  The little dogs had a blast playing.  The snow was as high as Bear's undercarriage.  I didn't get pictures of the dogs playing because I needed my hands to make them snowballs :)

Huge flakes

Totally unexpected (by me!!)

And it's still here.  We should have a melt today, but the temps are staying below freezing for the morning, so I'm not going to A Course in Miracles.  Country roads and icy patches are no joke.

All day I thought of my Parker.  That boy LOVED snow.  It was his total joy.  Memories are still bittersweet, but I know they will head more to the sweet side as time goes on.

Hubby made it to skiing -- just barely.  His friend had an aborted landing.  All is well now, but the weather is set to make another big push tomorrow and Tuesday -- here and there.

I'm talking to MiMi's potential adopter this morning.  Fingers crossed.  She was trying to apply, but our website was having issues.  She seems excited.  The home situation is a little more complicated than I thought -- she and her husband are living with extended family while waiting to purchase a house.  This includes kids and cats.  I'll know more when I talk to her today.  (I know MiMi loves cats and I think she'll be great with kids too -- but she's a little unmannered now.)

Bear is still set for adoption tomorrow.  I was worried about the language of the texts changing, but I sent her pictures yesterday and she has already shopped for him LOL.  That's a good sign.

He's smiling now -- finally!

They play non-stop.

I'm heading to see all the kids this afternoon (pending the snow melt).  We're meeting for a late lunch and I'm going to visit the grand-dogs after.  I haven't seen them in weeks.  It'll be good to get out of the house a bit.

My monthly is kicking my butt.  Heavy, emotional, still cramping.  Peri-menopause is no joke.  I ordered a book on it yesterday because ... of course I need a book!!  You know what I find interesting?  Many (most!!) of my friends have gone through this already and with ONE exception, no one has mentioned it.  Girls talk about girl things -- but not this.  I wonder why no one says anything about their experience.  But when you ask about it, you get comments -- it was hell, horrible, glad it's over, worst ever.  I refuse to believe it (hello, denial).  It might be HARD, but I will find a silver lining.  Hence, the book.  Stay tuned ... I'm going to talk about this (aka complain?!?! -- I'll try not to LOL).

I finally did a little reading yesterday.  Dear Edward (Ann Napolitano).  It's a heavy subject based on a real story, but every review says it ends up being uplifting and beautiful.  I'm plugging through the heavy now -- crying all the way.  (I cry at everything now -- it's getting strange.  Is it hormones or my new found "feeling my feelings?")  I didn't want to give up reading this because I'd be hard pressed to go back to it -- and it should be good.  That said, it was clogging the reading flow.  Time to read or get off the pot.

Our birthday trip to Italy has stalled AGAIN.  I'm getting sick of being the one to get it moving.  I think I'm setting a boundary on this.  I'll give it a start-up ONE more time and if it stalls again -- oh well.  Someone else can show interest or we can let the trip go.  It's not a threat, but I'm at my limit for driving this bus.

Can I take a moment to wax poetic complain?  When this group of very smart, highly successful ladies get together we never seem to make progress on the parts that matter (this has happened before too).  All we need to figure out is dates, location, lodging and then book airlines.  All the DETAILS can wait.  We know there are great options that check all our entertainment boxes and most of those excursions don't even book this early.  YET, where are we spending all our time?  The DETAILS.  Making spreadsheets.  But which cooking class is the best?  Etc, etc, etc.  Then people get busy (travel, work, family) and the talks come to a screeching halt.  I've voiced this to the group with no success.  I'm not the smartest by a long shot (and the only one without an advanced degree) -- but sometimes you need practical over smart.  I have that in spades.  It's frustrating.  (And, hard to be as perfect as me -- hah!)

I'm having the worst time remembering what day it is -- things still feel wonky.  Happy SUNDAY.  Have a great day -- later gators.

Twisting and Turning

It's one of those times where nothing is as expected, everything is topsy turvy and my only choice is to go with the flow.

DRAMATIC and there's nothing really dramatic happening, but it feels wonky -- feels worrisome.

Hubby left this morning on a ski trip.  The western resorts are getting slammed.  I'm concerned about avalanches --hopefully, unwarranted, but there's a little worry happening.

Lunch plans with the youngest is probably cancelled -- SNOW in Atlanta this morning.  It was in the 70s earlier in the week.  After today's weather, we are getting hit with another big rain front Monday and Tuesday.  Driving to AL in that weather will be interesting.  Everything is flooded.  I'm also a little worried about the water -- so much saturated and lots of flash floods.  We've been high enough on our property, but we get a rain river in our backyard which is pushing into a full creek.  More little bits of worry.  I won't be home all day on Monday and that could mean water in the basement.  Ugh.

Bear is set for adoption on Monday, but the adopter is giving mixed signals now.  "Hope my dog loves him."  "My dog has a hard time with new dogs."  This can be the start of changing her mind because she can't imagine upsetting "her baby."  I've seen this before.  Fingers crossed I don't make this drive for nada.

We have a trainer set to come to the house on Friday for reintroductions with Duke and MiMi.  Thank the lord for that small favor.  It totally eases my mind.  They are evaluating whether this is a safe situation for Duke.  Signs point to a positive outcome, but I like that a professional is involved.

In a shocking turn of events -- it's possible that MiMi will be ADOPTED by Friday.  One of the vet techs lost her pittie recently and wants to apply for her.  She was told to submit her application yesterday, but nothing yet.  That doesn't give me a great feeling, but you never know.  Everyone at the vet's office adores her -- she's that kind of special.

In my topsy turvy world, I had a yucky experience with Target yesterday.  My beloved Target.  Quick background -- I usually shop at my OLD Target because it's awesome.  Best produce around.  Love it.  The Target near our new house underwent renovations so I stayed clear during the construction.  I chatted with a Target employee last time I was at my OLD Target and she said the remodeled Targets are horrible -- I couldn't imagine that was true.  BUT they are HORRIBLE!!  The new Target has very little organic produce, a number of my go-to brands are gone -- replaced with a new store brand.  We bought a few items to try and threw them all out.  Popcorn, cheese, veggies -- all yucky.  Is Target dummying down their brand?!?!  Crazy.  Sticking to my OLD Target forever (or until they renovate).

Sort of cleared up the insurance problem.  We know it's a lack of an update in their system.  We have coverage and it's a matter of someone fixing it in the system.  Once we have confirmation of the fix, I'll call the 3 billing departments and have them resubmit.  Not horrible.

The next 6 days are all my own.  I was looking forward to this week so dang much -- especially with MiMi coming back in the mix on Friday.  I think things feel OFF because this week feels like I'm holding my breath to have nothing go wrong.  Leading with FEAR.  Not good.

My plans are up in the air because of this weather pattern (this week could end up being lonely).  I need to have a plan B and a plan C set-up to salvage this week.  Good or not good exists in my MIND.  It's up to me.  Always my choice.  I know WORRY serves nothing -- not me, not the situation.  (Pep Talk 101)

Lastly, my butt pillow came.  It's not winning any awards just yet.  It's maybe a little much -- too high, too firm.  I'll give it a go though and see if I get used to it.

Happy Saturday -- stay warm, stay dry.  Later gators.

Office Pictures and Friday Updates

That rain was no joke.  A friend of my hubby's got stuck at an event last night.  ALL roads leaving the venue were underwater and no one was able to leave.  Holy cow -- not fun.  Looks like we weathered it okay with some yard overspill on the patio as our only issue.

The leaking roof/siding appears to be fixed.  The wet mark is no bigger and just the old stain.  This was a good test with the downpours and high winds.

Our motorized shade is fixed with a different motor from a different company.  Apparently, there was a 6 month window when the shade company used a motor company with faulty solar charging panels.  These should last a decade (plus) with no charging issue, etc.

I pushed off the call to the insurance company until today.  My day was full and I need to be in the right frame of mind.

Hubby and I worked all day getting closets switched, furniture moved, pictures hung.  I was in the ZONE.  New ideas left and right.  Only thing left to do is the linen closets (they can wait until the weekend).

The result?  I LOVE my new office space.  Hubby LOVES his new space.  Here are some pictures of my new digs (I took them just now -- sorry about the lighting).

My itty bitty desk.

My dog pictures arranged.

The closet with an added bookshelf.

I took out the pen holder to show the liner.

Here are the problem-solving details ...

(1)  I ordered a butt cushion for the chair.  I had one years ago and the rubber shell disintegrated -- I ordered a black mesh covered one that should fix the chair issue.  These work really well for my backside and I expect it will fix the problem.

(2)  Hung a few of the desk pictures on the wall under the posters.  Gives me more surface space and a perfect view of my Parker and a dog drawing my aunt did that includes Parker and Duke.

(3)  Put the monitor on the side to give me more space for my arms when I type.  Works perfectly.

(4)  My BIG idea was removing the half shelf in the closet so I could fit one bookshelf.  Hubby has one in his office and didn't need both.  This lets me have my books and my special things.  The room is crowded and "busy" and I like having it in the closet.

(5)  The closet shelves are filled with office supplies and such.  I got a set of bins from Home Goods to hold the little things that won't fit in my desk now (stapler, extra pens, extra notepads -- things like this)

(6)  I lined the desk drawers with shelf paper since they were unfinished (but clean).  Looks so much prettier now.

(7)  I ordered a HUGE framed cork board from Etsy.  I couldn't figure out how to display my pictures when there's no surface room for them.  Out of frames on onto the board -- PERFECT.  I have another kind I use in the hallway and it makes me HAPPY.  Pictures that aren't necessarily frame worthy, but they're memory worthy and I like to see them.  It'll go on the wall with the round mirror -- plenty of room.  I'll take a picture when it arrives in a few weeks.

Overall, the room is FULL.  Walls are full, lots of furniture, lots of THINGS ... but it works.  Cosy and MINE.  Filled with things I love.  I wouldn't have ordered the framed pictures over my desk if I had know this would become my office -- I would've put the cork board there instead.  Still, it's not bad and I'm feeling good about this decision to give hubby the big office.

Coaching Call:
We chatted about change.  Chatted about boundaries.  Nothing earth shattering, but tweaked some of my thinking and reinforced my resolve on continued "thought" work.

Oh ... looks like my period came last night.  10 days late.  Let the rollercoaster begin.

Today is INSURANCE CALL (bless me) and a trip to Home Goods for hubby's office.  He needs a man picture - hah.  Looking for a map or something office-like to fill a space between the windows.  He's finally run out of sports pictures.

We hung a few other pictures yesterday.  The West Elm backorder came for the gold star burst mirrors.  I hung them on the wall heading from the basement.  It gives it some transition and flow -- like it's not The Basement, but part of our living space.  They are nice, but, a wait of MONTHS was not worth it.

Not much too see, but it looks nice.

Okay, this is a long post.  Time to run -- dogs are up and wanting attention.  Happy Weekend.  Later gators.