FUTURE SELF ... read this post!!

The wishes worked -- kept the diet stellar the whole evening.  Lordy, that craving was HUGE.  I might have sold a child for some of that cheese.  Unfortunately, it will be living in my refrigerator all week.  I need about half of it for this weekend -- stupidly I forgot I already bought it and so I have double what I need.  I have empty nest for a few days too.  Two elements of the perfect storm.  Oh no -- and it's PMS week.  The Perfect Storm.  Maybe I'll try to send it home with my youngest -- fingers crossed he wants it!

ATTENTION FUTURE-SELF ... read this post.  It is glorious, amazing, awesome, outstanding, awe-inspiring that you resisted this craving.  You didn't need it and the "real" you didn't even want it.  This morning is a WIN ... not a failure.  You feel good, feel proud -- ready to take on this workout lean and mean.

Yesterday was an additional rest-day per my instructor ... "give me two weeks."  Okay - you got it.  Today is a really go-hard day (hopefully).  This circuit class is a buddy class if everyone shows up.  I like to have the station to myself.  Why??  She puts a lighter weight and a heavier weight at each station and you rotate.  But I want the heavier weight - ALWAYS.  So far I'm about 50/50.  It is fun to have a partner.  You get to know someone - social - push each other.  But since I am so "rested" I want a down and dirty today.  If it doesn't deliver, I'll add stuff at home I guess.

Scary movie mid-day today.  We are dropping eldest's car off for service and killing time seeing Split.  Oh boy - it seems "Silence of the Lambs" scary.  Glad we are seeing it in the afternoon.  Then hitting the mall and food out.  Fun, active, VARIETY day.

My stomach seems to be normalizing after a week of clean eating.  Thank God for small favors.  I was so uncomfortable.

It's interesting (not surprising though) that I did fantastic "healthy" for 4 months of crazy socializing fun and then had a disappointing month just when it got easier.  That's a pattern for me when I finish a goal - reward myself with food and reward myself with "no effort" living.  I need to have a plan in place for the end of this two week challenge (she might extend it - we'll see).  I have a "reward" day, but I need to have some accountability when the time is up.  Even if the accountability is ME.  Focus on the BIG trips that are around the corner and wanting to feel great for them.  That's a BIG ACCOUNTABILITY for me.  Okay - have to keep this in the front of my mind.

Will there ever be a time food, eating, being healthy doesn't need to be-on-my-mind??  Probably not, I'm realizing.  My default doesn't work.  Healthy requires effort, requires work.  When I relax about it and "don't care" I go off the path -- BIG TIME.

Okay.  HAPPY day ahead.  My intention for today is to ENJOY the day and not stress the small stuff.  I stressed the small stuff yesterday.  Lesson learned??  Stay tuned ...