Week in Asheville ...

... or maybe just a couple of days.  All depends on the internet and weather.  I'll be there until Thursday, at least.  Furniture set for delivery tomorrow so prep today.  Internet (outside) appointment scheduled for tomorrow afternoon, but it'll be storming.  Not sure if that appointment will be postponed. 

Since its BIG RAIN all day on Wednesday, I'm set to do a full clean.  If all is well by Thursday, I'm planning to enjoy the day in the city.  If all isn't well, I'll head back to GA.

This morning is just me and Polly -- boys went with hubby.  We switched it around last minute because they were awake and excited and she REFUSED to get up hahaha!!  Girl needs her beauty rest.

BTW, it's so much easier with just 3 dogs.  Five is a handful and we have a second wave this weekend again (but just for one overnight).

Yesterday I rode a 60 minute Peloton ride and the music was fantastic -- best I've ridden.  60 minutes was a lot for me, but the ride was fun.  It's part of a sing-a-long series of 4 classes -- one is Christmas music.  Yes, please, but I'll wait until December to ride it.  Decided to push a little since workouts are iffy this week.

As I mentioned before, my goal for this week is to find the fun.  My mind keeps telling me this is another bust of a week because it's "all work" and no fun.  Cleaning, no internet (so no Peloton, TV or computer), poor Verizon signal (so no working hot spots from our phones), bad weather (so no outside run or long walk), no confidence on the delivery.  It's not really true -- I can work on better thoughts.  But it is true that when just hubby and I go for a trip to Asheville, we get the stinkiest weather.  Luckily, we've had great weather when we've had company or gone for an occasion.

That's all from here.  Have a great week.  I won't be back until I have internet again.  Later gators.

Back at It

I'm back to all the things after a total day off.

It feels good.  I had a long workout, swim in the neighborhood pool, cooked soup and read a lot.  Good day that felt good.

Lunch with 2 foster friends was canceled today because one of them is sick (testing for COVID, just in case).  I put myself out there (in my mind) and asked the other if she still wanted to get together.  It's the weekend and we had plans to accommodate the other foster who can't take a long lunch during the week.  Wasn't sure if weekend time was too precious, but I asked anyway -- turns out she's happy to go too.  Going at 11 o'clock, outside, etc.

I have a list of stuff to get ready before we travel to Asheville this week and that will round out my weekend.  

My focus is having a great week in Asheville DESPITE it probably being 50/50 with circumstances.  Rain is in the forecast 3 of the days, no internet until the earliest Tuesday evening, furniture delivery with fingers crossed.  The weather clears just as we need to be home to dog-sit our grand-dogs again for the holiday weekend.  But, I know I can find good things that will make this a good trip -- practicing this mindset again.

And, I've been having fun finding at least one thing each day that moves me toward future-me.  Today is dressing the part.  (Yesterday was a swim in the pool -- spontaneous fun.)

That's all from here on this Saturday.  Have a great day and stay well.  Later gators.

No Regrets

I guess taking a "day off" was good.  I don't have a single regret and that's usually an indicator I made a good decision.  I feel more like myself and back to happily doing my morning routine.

My day off was just that -- nothing, not even a shower.  Took care of dogs and watched Alias on Prime (watching for the first time).  A few house chores and a little work in my itty bitty garden.  Caught up with friends on the phone and listened to a couple of podcasts.

Here's evidence of this lazy day of August ...  dogs enjoyed it too :)

It is unusual for me to feel that strongly about doing NOTHING, especially in the morning.  Even slug days include my morning routine.  

Today is nothing special -- 5 dogs is still 5 dogs and a lot of work.  I'm making lentil soup since I ate the last frozen stash recently.  It's easy and a good go-to meal when I want a break from cooking.  

I have the case of the BLAHs and I guess that's okay.  Life can't always be a wedding weekend.  I'm still disappointed that a few things were canceled for the weekend.  That's been my theme over the pandemic -- disappointment.  I need to accept that's a part of life now -- more than usual, but still need to figure out how to not let it take me into the blahs.  

(And I know I was just saying I had too much on my calendar -- these are different kind of things that are little, fun and worry-free.  Like we were going to have a picnic at a winery on Sunday with my son and his girlfriend, but she's not feeling well so we postponed.)

A solution I use is to make backup plans that are in my control so I can still have something to look forward to doing.  I didn't do that this time and I'm struggling to figure out something while I'm dog-sitting and the weather is HOT and horrible!  THIS is the way out of the blues so I need to get creative.  

I also think the world is so dang HEAVY again and this is weighing on me more than I realize most days.  

Ugh -- I'm so over my rollercoaster of emotions and over spending so much time in yucky feelings -- anxiety, worry, disappointment, frustration.  

Well, this chat took a downturn and on that note, I'll say later gators.  Stay well and have a happy Friday.

Outnumbered

Five dogs is no joke.  Even 5 good dogs.  My morning has been a rotation from dog to dog -- potty, food, meds, belly rubs, lap cuddles.  

** Just interrupted to lift 2 dogs up on furniture because they can't make the jump. **

** And again to lift one of them down **

Okay -- 12,000 interruptions later and this is the current situation ...  wonder for how long hahaha!

I'm having a hard time wanting to do my "things" today -- even a workout which is super unusual for me.  My brain keeps saying "take a day off"  "when will you get another chance"  "you deserve a nothing-to-do day" ... and my brain is making a strong argument.

It's hard to know if this is a good desire -- little rest, downtime, regroup OR if it's an excuse to be a slug.  One day either way won't make an enormous difference, but I question my brain's motives.

I think this is a bit of all-or-nothing.  My energy is so affected by my nutrition and habits lately and I'm coming to the conclusion that I need to adopt a stricter pattern to have better energy on the regular.  This is sending me to I CAN NEVER DO THIS AGAIN mode.  

Even though I see the motivation, I still WANT to have a slug day so much today.

I also have nothing on the calendar and nothing that I can put on the calendar to drive me forward today.  I'm still isolating, tethered to home because of the dogs and feeling blah.  I had a few things cancel for the weekend and a few things that felt like a disappointment and that's sending me into a pity party too.

Dang.  I'd like to say this will have a good outcome and I'll chose the things that move me forward, but I'm not feeling confident.  Stay tuned ...

Hump Day

Hump Day and possible clearance day from any COVID from the wedding Saturday.  Delta moves faster and I hear 4-5 days is the magic number.  I'm on day 4.

Grand-dogs arrive this evening.  5 dogs.  1 me with not enough lap for more than 2 dogs.  Wish me luck.  

Harvesting another big old mama cucumber today.  While I was gone, the tomato plant found its footing again and is huge with tons of little greenies.  The two plants are totally intertwined now.  The bees were doing their thing yesterday so I hope I have more produce left this summer.  Temps are HOT this week so still no fall planting.

I stopped by the farmer's stand and it was completely EMPTY -- oh no (!!)  I hope this was just an anomaly.  Not a tomato, cucumber or zucchini in sight.  They supply local restaurants and the overflow hits the stand.  Maybe no more "extras" this time of year.

I need to do a little re-grouping today and some planning for the next couple of weeks.  Back to focusing on finding little bits of fun and some things to look forward to doing.  This week was a lay low week from taking the wedding risk and next week is a total jumble with a possible week in Asheville.  I had a few things on the calendar and they got canceled.  This all leaves me feeling meh.  I can change that up with a little planning -- things like go to the pool for an hour, work on my fall planters, try a new recipe, go on a hike.  Putting it on my schedule means I'll do it.

Not much else to say this morning.  Time to get moving and start the day.  Stay well.  Later gators.

Future-Me Perspective

The trip was a success as an experiment being the person I want to be on the regular.  Here are my rambling thoughts.

Booke Castillo is a big fan of envisioning who you'd like to become, asking what she would think and do and experiment (practice) doing those things.

(1)  For me, it starts with how I dress.  I've carried some "stuff" from childhood and I feel super self-conscious wearing anything outside my "usual."  It's my mother's voice in my head and it took me decades to notice that it wasn't truth.

*****  I dressed in a way that made me feel good.  Put together outfits that were outside my old box, but feel good to wear now.  I made an effort and it was fun.  It's like putting on a uniform or a costume in a play -- easier to get in the headspace of something different.

(2)  I want to be a person who is confident and self-assured enough to not need anyone to validate my fashion choices.  I know this sounds strange, but it's leftovers from childhood.  It used to be such a big deal if no one noticed or if someone made a comment -- you never wear that color.  It would make me change into something "safe" immediately.

*****  I felt so comfortable as future-me, I didn't care that I didn't receive one notice about how I looked (clothes, hair, makeup).  Truth be told, it's not THAT different (probably not worthy of a mention from anyone), but it feels worlds different to me.  I was happy and that's all that mattered.

(3)  I kept my promises to do things that felt good.  

*****  I exercised everyday.  Drank water.  Ate well.  No alcohol.  Things I chose, not things I forced or restricted.

(4)  I let the trip be 50/50.  As Brooke Castillo says, life is always 50% good feeling and 50% negative feelings.  Shopping Friday wasn't fun.  The wedding was a disappointment.  This would normally send me straight to buffering to feel better.

*****  Thanks to regular practice and living during a pandemic, I'm much better finding small joys (fun) and focusing on those instead of what wasn't good.  The weekend wasn't a home run and was much less fun than I expected, but I MADE it a good time anyway.  Focusing on what was good and running that thought loop makes the trip a great memory instead of a bust.

(5)  I let other people have their feelings without guilt, anger or hurt feelings on my part.  

*****  There were some snippy comments about pandemic choices, etc.  I didn't engage, take anything personally and held my ground respectively.  Have your feelings.  That changes nothing for me.  Even when there were some comments from someone I'm close to directed at me.  It was okay -- I felt neutral to the entire situation.  

(6)  Rinse and repeat.  

***** It's actually kind of fun to experiment with situations and find ways to "be" this person.  It's like having a little secret between me and future-me.  Practice is forward motion.  Everyday I find at least one little way to act as future-me.  Social situations have tons of opportunities to practice, succeed, fail, learn, re-group.  I'm slowly becoming the person I wish I could be.

P.S.  I wish there was a better way to describe this rather than "future-me" -- sounds a bit wacky (!!) but it gets the point across.

Recap and Re-entry Day

Back in the ATL. 

Here's a recap of the long weekend.

Thursday flight was delayed a couple of hours (storms) so we got in, got takeout from Wegman's (best grocery store in the world) and called it a night.

Hubby had a great time golfing Friday.  Shopping with my aunties was a mixed bag.  My other aunt wasn't in a happy mood which was uncomfortable.  She changed up the shopping itinerary and we shopped in basically souvenir shops for all things Buffalo related (saved me money lol).  NO AIR CONDITIONING and 90 degree, humid weather (what's the deal, Buffalo).  I was masked and miserable.  Lunch was outside on the canal and that was the highlight of the shopping day.

Selfie on the canal.

Market in an old church.
Aunties checking out.

Headed to my aunt (who was stressed) house for dinner (also no AC, but we were outside).  Pizza, wings and salad.  I ate ahead and had salad and a few wings at her house.  My un-vaxed cousins were there (ugh) so we stayed clear of them and wore a mask whenever I had to go inside for bathroom and such.

Keeping our distance.

Saturday was the wedding and we hung with my sister and BIL all morning.  Visited the "falls" in downtown Buffalo and a farmer's market.

Sad to say, the wedding was one of the worst we've been to.  It was at a the father of the bride's uncle's deli hall because they forgot to pay an installment at the original wedding venue.  Food was HORRIBLE.  My beef was actually raw -- not rare, raw.  The microwaved chicken was so hard I couldn't cut it.  I didn't eat one bite of dinner.  Even the wedding cake wasn't edible.  It was HOT, poorly ventilated, overcrowded and no outside area (in an old strip mall).  They ran out of glasses, never bussed tables.  Nothing to do with affordability, everything to do with a too few staff and no idea how to cater a big wedding event because the uncle wanted to handle everything.  Apparently, this was a first wedding at the deli.  It's a shame because my cousin tried hard to make everything else nice.

What was GOOD -- long, Catholic service was air conditioned.  Fun photo area.  Fun to be with family.  Bride and groom were happy.  Lots of Polish dancing and boy can his family dance -- loved to watch.  We danced a bit and the entire family danced to We Are Family.  Big circle, taking turns in the middle.  Highlight of the night.  

Flight home on Sunday was uneventful.  One of my cousins was on the same flight so we killed time at the airport with a good chat.  Landed just as a HUGE storm hit.  That made getting to the car interesting and very wet lol.  Traveled the rounds picking up dogs and went to bed smothered in cuddles.

Tomorrow, I'll chat about how it went with future-me thinking and doing this weekend.  This chat is already long.

Today is re-entry day -- a term from an Influencer on IG.  Such a great idea.  It's a transition day and that takes so much pressure off of getting back to everything immediately.  Unpacking, wash, grocery shopping and my morning routine, nice and slow.  No plans, no timeline. 

New week.  Fingers crossed for no COVID issues from the weekend.  Stay well.  Later gators.