Future-Me Perspective

The trip was a success as an experiment being the person I want to be on the regular.  Here are my rambling thoughts.

Booke Castillo is a big fan of envisioning who you'd like to become, asking what she would think and do and experiment (practice) doing those things.

(1)  For me, it starts with how I dress.  I've carried some "stuff" from childhood and I feel super self-conscious wearing anything outside my "usual."  It's my mother's voice in my head and it took me decades to notice that it wasn't truth.

*****  I dressed in a way that made me feel good.  Put together outfits that were outside my old box, but feel good to wear now.  I made an effort and it was fun.  It's like putting on a uniform or a costume in a play -- easier to get in the headspace of something different.

(2)  I want to be a person who is confident and self-assured enough to not need anyone to validate my fashion choices.  I know this sounds strange, but it's leftovers from childhood.  It used to be such a big deal if no one noticed or if someone made a comment -- you never wear that color.  It would make me change into something "safe" immediately.

*****  I felt so comfortable as future-me, I didn't care that I didn't receive one notice about how I looked (clothes, hair, makeup).  Truth be told, it's not THAT different (probably not worthy of a mention from anyone), but it feels worlds different to me.  I was happy and that's all that mattered.

(3)  I kept my promises to do things that felt good.  

*****  I exercised everyday.  Drank water.  Ate well.  No alcohol.  Things I chose, not things I forced or restricted.

(4)  I let the trip be 50/50.  As Brooke Castillo says, life is always 50% good feeling and 50% negative feelings.  Shopping Friday wasn't fun.  The wedding was a disappointment.  This would normally send me straight to buffering to feel better.

*****  Thanks to regular practice and living during a pandemic, I'm much better finding small joys (fun) and focusing on those instead of what wasn't good.  The weekend wasn't a home run and was much less fun than I expected, but I MADE it a good time anyway.  Focusing on what was good and running that thought loop makes the trip a great memory instead of a bust.

(5)  I let other people have their feelings without guilt, anger or hurt feelings on my part.  

*****  There were some snippy comments about pandemic choices, etc.  I didn't engage, take anything personally and held my ground respectively.  Have your feelings.  That changes nothing for me.  Even when there were some comments from someone I'm close to directed at me.  It was okay -- I felt neutral to the entire situation.  

(6)  Rinse and repeat.  

***** It's actually kind of fun to experiment with situations and find ways to "be" this person.  It's like having a little secret between me and future-me.  Practice is forward motion.  Everyday I find at least one little way to act as future-me.  Social situations have tons of opportunities to practice, succeed, fail, learn, re-group.  I'm slowly becoming the person I wish I could be.

P.S.  I wish there was a better way to describe this rather than "future-me" -- sounds a bit wacky (!!) but it gets the point across.