Jen Hatmaker and the Legacy Collective

Last night was a fundraiser for The Legacy Collective (a brainchild of Jen Hatmaker) that gives grants to small organizations doing big work with sustainable results.  Check it out  -- worthy cause.

But, let's talk the "good" stuff.  

I showed up as I wanted -- Future Self in full focus.  Took a page from coaching and made a list of questions to answer out-loud about my intentions for the evening.  How will I dress?  How will I stand?  What am I excited about?  How will I feel?  What will I remember?  Why am I going?  Etc.  15 in all.  And it worked to remind me to show up.  I can get all up in my head and nerves when I walk in the room and I go to shit.  Taking the time to center on those questions before I left gave my brain something to focus on instead of crappy thoughts.

I got there a bit early, but the golf carts were already in action.  I got to chat with Jen Hatmaker, her mom, BT Harman and his husband before the room filled.  Lots of time with the guests of honor throughout the evening.

Facetime with bookclub peeps too and that was great.  The host for the evening is in the club and there were 3 others who came.  

The drive was WOW.  Backroads and 10,000 turns, but all is fine.  Weather couldn't have been more perfect.  A little chill, clear skies.  The house has massive walls that open to air.  I spent most of my time outside.  Dinner was in the cleanest (and freshly painted) 5 car garage with some of the doors open so fresh air.  I decided no mask because of the open air.

Dinner was perfect.  Spinach salad, roasted asparagus and mushrooms and beef wellington.  There was chicken & creamy pasta, scalloped potatoes, rolls and a dessert platter too -- passed on these because of gluten and heavy dairy.  Two drink tickets which I ended up giving to Jen Hatmaker ('cause we're those kind of friends now).

My outfit.  Dress is from The Loft, belt is Anthropology and faux suede jacket from Nordstroms.

Dinner.  Jen Hatmaker sat at our table next to us.

Jen Hatmaker and our bookclub peeps.

My new thing (which I'm ditching) is to try not to smile BIG and strange, but the smirk smile makes me look odd (less happy).  Need to work on that.  Me and pictures aren't in sync but I'm determined to find "my expression" for posed pictures.

Overall, A+ of an evening.  Checked all the boxes.  Out of my comfort zone, choosing the bigger life, great people, interesting conversations, food, fresh air, good choices, fun outfit.  Future self came to play.

Have a great day.  Later gators.

So Far, So Good

This week started well.  Yesterday was the FIRST day (in over a year) that this girlfriend didn't cancel or change the time.  Good conversation.  The weather warmed nicely and it all felt extra good for some reason.

I ran a couple of errands and home for an early (as usual) PJ time in my new Christmas flannels from The Loft.  They're lightweight and oversized.  I got the large and they shrunk just a bit in the dryer.  Maybe a medium would fit better, but I'm fine with baggy.  I wanted something for Christmas in Asheville that had good coverage to be around everyone.  Too warm to sleep in, but they are great for lounging.

This morning because I forgot to take
a picture yesterday. 

Spent the late afternoon chatting with another bestie (college roommate) and that was another good conversation.  Yesterday's theme was definitely connection and I'm focusing on that for the week.

Since I am was a bit nervous for tonight, I decided to message the host and ask the questions that were making me feel uncertain.  All set now.  I have my outfit picked out for a mostly outdoor evening, mask for inside and, if I get parked-in, more time with Jen Hatmaker lol.  I'm not sure I'll get a picture with Jen since it's night and dark outside, but I'll take other pictures.

I have no idea what food is being served, but I'm planning to eat something to tide me over incase it's stuff that I can't eat -- pasta, cream, etc.  Since there was nothing specified about the food, I'm hoping for a range that covers all the usual suspects of food issues and then I'll be fine.  I'm not going for the food so that doesn't concern me.  

My neck is still improving.  I started taking some 60 minute Peloton classes gearing up for a 5 mile run goal on the 21 for 2021 list.  I need to build a bit of endurance, but I can't run frequently enough to do that this late in the game.  The 5 mile run is a one-and-done so a bit of extra cardio should work fine for a solo run.  I planned on this for Thanksgiving week, but given the neck issue, I might need to push it back to December.  I still have another week to see how it feels.  Running arm position bothers it a lot.

I have a draft list of the 22 for 2022 list -- coming soon in December or January.  Also a recap of 21 for 2021 -- the good, bad, finished and unfinished.  The end of the year is approaching at lightening speed.

I'm still "decorated" for Thanksgiving.  Early Christmas decorating doesn't interest me because I think I'd get bored with the Christmas stuff up too long.  Take each holiday for what it is and patience for the feel-goods of Christmas.  A few years ago, I started Christmas music in early November and was sick of it by Christmas week.  Learned that lesson.

That said, I started burning a pine candle I got while shopping with my aunt.  It's so good -- burns well and the scent is amazing.  So good in fact, that I want to go back and get some other candles.  I have a bunch of cheap candles that only scent the space AT the candle.  This smells up a couple of rooms.   I'll pay attention to the brand this time.

Here's the candle AND the next book I'm reading.  It's long and I've had it too long on my shelf.  Time to get it read.  I'm only about 100 pages in and it's good so far.  Epic sweeping novel that jumps present to early 1900s.

Fingers crossed for an interesting and fun night tonight.  This feels like a gathering-with-intention.  Taking a page from Priya Parker's book, The Art of Gathering.  Stay well (me too tonight).  Later gators.

Let's Start the Week

List time:

(1)  Birthday celebration was super low key.  Youngest's gf didn't come because of a cell phone/family situation.  Long story, but it was just the birthday boy.  We hung out, watched football and chatted.  It was nice to spend the afternoon with him.

(2)  Since we weren't having a party, I decided to forego the GF pizza and I didn't have the banana pudding either.  Feeling better feels like a strong priority right now and that starts with eating.  I left it open to have what I wanted and I didn't want it -- that's a good feeling.  Especially given my choices lately.

(3)  Today is a planned coffee date with my girlfriend who is notorious for changing-canceling-postponing plans.  I think it's a 50/50 shot of it happening.  She had a big weekend and it's colder today -- already two strikes.

(4)  Tomorrow is the fundraiser dinner with Jen Hatmaker.  Of course, I'm nervous.  COVID nervous.  Driving nervous (at the lake and the street are DARK and narrow).  Logistic nervous (where are people parking, will I get parked in).  What to wear (I don't want to be hot/cold).  What purse to bring (small bag or big security purse with all my "things").  But, I'm going.  Choose the bigger life.  Don't chicken out because of worry.  I want to ENJOY the evening too -- not just "survive" my nerves and that will take an effort.  I'm trying.

This is the one and only time I "met" Jen Hatmaker.  Podcast event in ATL, VIP ticket and went by myself.  It was such a great time.

(5)  My ring and earrings are ready for pickup downtown.  I'm going on Wednesday.  

(6)  Thursday is a hair appointment in the morning and a zoom event with Glennon Doyle in the evening.

It's a week with lots of potential and I need to slow down and notice fun and enjoy myself.  Hubby is on a business trip overnight today and leaves for Asheville on Thursday for the weekend with his bestie.  Lots of time to myself this weekend.  Thoughts on this later -- Thanksgiving prep AND CE credits to renew my RN license.

Oh, I finished The Best of Me (David Sedaris) and I liked it.  Once I learned it was satire and not comedy, it all made sense.  Each chapter is a story (from his previous books) -- some were home runs and others were okay.  Overall, I'm glad I read it and got introduced to something new (to me).  I wanted to finish it before the event tomorrow.

Hope you have a happy Monday.  Stay well.  Later gators.

A Few Changes

My eldest and his wife have colds so they are staying home today.  No passing anything around (!!)  It'll just be us and the birthday boy and his girlfriend.

No sushi because all the places are closed on Sunday -- staffing is a big issue.  Hitting up pizza, garlic knots and meatballs from a local place.  I'll get GF pizza.

The banana pudding turned out well after an urgent trip to the market because I didn't read the recipe the entire way -- ugh.  I didn't make the Slush Cake which is an extra good decision given it's just 4 of us for football, birthday and food.

It's a bit awkward not having the entire group today.  The youngest's girlfriend is a bit uncomfortable (or uninterested) around hubby and me.  She enjoys a younger crowd, I guess.  It's not horrible, but it's a one way conversation.  Me asking her questions.  Her answering and the conversation ends.  Maybe things will loosen up the more we see each other.  She seems relaxed and happy when everyone is around though.  I'll keep trying and (thanks to life coaching) I don't take it personally.  I don't say this often, but thankful for the distraction of a football game.

And, while I don't take her disinterest personally, I will be looking for a thank you for a birthday gift I gave her 2 weeks ago (a dutch oven she wanted).  Nice gift.  No thank you (he thanked me a few times on her behalf).  Hmmmmm. 

That said, she's great with my son, makes him happy, smart, bold -- lots of things to like.  

The upright freezer got delivered yesterday.  It's a tight squeeze to fit it in my car.  This is going to change plans getting to Asheville before Christmas.  I need to rework some things, but it's totally worth it.  This will solve my freezer issue provided the electric can handle it (if not, time for electrician).

Best get moving.  Have a good Sunday.  Later gators.

Back To Our Regularly Scheduled Programming

It's a TMI-ALL-CLEAR day.

I dumped one of the books -- One of Us is Lying.  Too YA I guess.  It should've been a super easy read, but I couldn't get into it (even though I was almost halfway).  It jumps characters constantly (guess for suspense) but there was too much corny or boring fluff to hold onto the mystery.  I didn't even bother or care to look at the end to figure out what happened.  I usually enjoy YA but the writing didn't hold me on this one.  I can't remember where I got this recommendation. 

New pick is The Great Circle (Maggie Shipstead).  Very long, but good reviews.  It's already more engaging with some good writing.  I guess the comparison makes it notable.  

My next-door neighbor brought over some apple cake for hubby and me.  She hosted bookclub and had cake leftover.  That was so sweet.  I need to do little things like this too because it was a bright spot that made my day.  I didn't eat it because of the gluten, but it smelled amazing and hubby loved it.

I'm making banana pudding for my youngest's birthday celebration tomorrow (HBD to him today -- #25).  It uses the Chessman Cookies so not GF.  I got enough stuff to make slush cake too -- one of my favorite things.  Shush cake (as my Gram called it) is layered nut crust, cream cheese whipped layer, chocolate pudding layer, cool whip layer.  It goes by different names, but it's all the same.  I can make that GF and almost dairy free.  But should I??  Decisions.  Decisions.  Last thing I NEED is to eat slush cake for days. Maybe I'll hold off and make it in early December.  

Remember when I said I had a dinner plan to stop snacking at night instead of eating a meal?  Well, that didn't work (hah).  Still "trying."  I know this adds to my funk and the funk makes me want to snack and the circle is complete.  JUST BREAK THE CIRCLE.  Ugh.  

My life coaching starts at the end of November and I want to be ready to move forward -- not just get back to a baseline.  Maybe that's not going to happen.  I'm also nervous about whether she's skilled enough to be worth the price tag.  Her IG has a lot of super basic things and that worries me a bit -- although, she's not actually coaching on IG, more introducing herself so fingers crossed.

I scored an organic turkey at Trader Joe's (last one in this shipment).  They are partial frozen for transport home -- I asked because I thought they were fresh, but it felt frozen.  It's some technique they use (so they say).  This 15 lb turkey is earmarked for the Big Day so NO TURKEY MAKING for me this year.  Decision was easy since only one left.

I've dreamed of this day -- only one major holiday cooking and, yet I was planning to make a turkey too.  Glad I rethought that -- at least for this year to see what that feels like.  Christmas in Asheville will be extra work so I can focus my energy for December.

As I said, I'm not totally off the hook for Thanksgiving, but way more manageable.  I made The List and have started picking up things as I see them.  So far, nothing in short supply.

I ended up running on the treadmill yesterday -- long story, but outside wasn't a great option.  I didn't love it.  It was nice to run with music, but outside energizes in a way the treadmill just doesn't.  It was still a good workout and I'm sore today since I haven't run in an extended bit.  Arms and a long OUTSIDE walk today.  My nerve pain is still a problem with everything -- bike, running, but oddly arms day doesn't bother it much.  It's so positional. 

I'm feel all the old aches and pains this morning.  Stiff from the run.  I slammed my finger in a cupboard.  My neck hurts.  My stomach is wonky.  51 years feels old today.  

On that happy note, I'll get my morning started.  Have a great Saturday.  Later gators.

Super Duper TMI Post

This one's extra personal, but I wanted to journal a bit about it.

Ashwagandha

Here's a backstory.  I follow Tabatha Brown on IG and she did a story about coming home from a long trip and having a date night with her hubby.  She said she was taking Ashwagandha for a "little extra" in the bedroom.  

I haven't been overly in-the-mood this past year and I was curious about it.  I googled, chatted with a couple of friends (some of whom have used it for "sleep") and I thought I'd give it a go -- for the BETTER SLEEP component.  There are a bunch of benefit claims.  Funny enough, I didn't ask my friends about the bedroom thing -- maybe I should?!?

I mentioned the other day, my sleep is better.  Better dreams, no long wakeup time during the night.  It doesn't make me sleepy, but it seems to make my sleep deeper.

AND, it's doing something else.  At least, I'm giving it credit for doing something else.

My libido is absolutely ramping up.  I didn't even realize how low it had gone until it started coming back. 

Here's the EXTRA TMI.  Read at your own risk lol.

*  Sexy stories on TV or books give a little hmmm again.

*  A cute guy on a cooking show gave me a pause.

*  Little imagination fantasies are back (see above).

*  A kiss or hug with hubby gives a little tingle.

*  Orgasms are back to where they were (it wasn't the same for a long time).  Longer, more intense.

*  I'm in-the-mood with more frequency.

*  My body is physically responding to mental (imagination) stimulus again.

This COULD be a hormone shift -- since it does that on-off thing.  But I haven't had it "on" in over a year and not with this consistency.  I don't know if it'll last.  Don't know if it's the ashwagandha and if it is, does the initial effect wear off (i.e. build a tolerance)??

For now, I'll take it.  As I said, I didn't even notice how much my libido had disappeared until it came back.

We (I) don't talk about things like this and I'm happy Tabitha Brown mentioned it (she also had a discount code for a product so there's that angle but lots of options on the market).

If things change back, I'll update.  I hope not (!!)  Otherwise, that's the end of my personal TMI and PSA on this subject ;)

Later gators.

Veterans Day

Good morning ... here's another list.

(1)  I thought hubby came home today -- it was yesterday (!!)  Thankfully, he texted me or I'd had one hell of a nighttime scare.

(2)  In cleaning my pantry last week, I noticed the molasses I bought last year to make ginger snaps and never got around to it because I forgot to buy ground cloves and couldn't find them last minute.  I found them at Target yesterday so I made a half batch GF to try.

Timer went off on the last batch of cookies, but they needed a minute longer.  Phone rang, I forgot.  Carbon cookies with a house filled with smoke.  It STILL smells a bit this morning.  It's hard to air out the house with dogs.  

Dang, my brain.  P.S.  Cookies are good (and spicy).  I froze them for the holidays, but they probably won't last lol.

(3)  Apple "ladies" to the rescue again.  It always a woman and I love that -- one tech explained the men don't have patience for the phone support.  Turns out I haven't bookmarked ANYTHING.  Instead I'm using the Reading List.  Now it doesn't automatically populate so I need to click it on.  Phew.  

Bad news thought -- my computer is so old, it's not going to be able to update again.  I knew this was coming.  I want another Mac for the service alone, but it's expensive.  I need to decide soon.  My phone is also outdated and is having troubles.  

Laptop AND phone in the same moment feels like a lot.

(4)  I don't love either book I'm reading.  I need to sh*$ or get off the pot on them because it's clogging the reading works.  I'll decide by the end of the weekend.  I need to put in a little bit of time to figure out if it's them or me (!!)

(5)  I'm still in decision mode, but something occurred to me yesterday.  I DON'T HAVE TO MAKE A TURKEY THIS YEAR.  I can't remember when I didn't make Thanksgiving dinner and this year we are GUESTS (!!)  I planned to make one so I could make turkey soup after, but I also don't have to.  What?!?!?  Mind blown.  Maybe I should put my energy into Christmas prep instead.

As I said, still deciding ... but this takes ALL THE PRESSURE OFF.

And I need pressure off.  I'm STILL in a funk and trying to pull out of it is proving a challenge right now.  Every little bit helps.  Maybe more energy on taking care of myself too with things that make me feel better, not worse.  (Example ... making cookies instead of dinner ... oops I did it again.  Dang.)

(6)  A little more on this funk.  I need to get back to basics.  I know what works, but when I'm in a funk, I drop a lot of those things.  Like taking an afternoon walk when I'm down (rain today, but I missed a few perfect days to do it).  Making a daily to-do list helps organize me and makes me feel good.  Haven't even felt like doing that --- I have a weekly list, but that's it.  No list on exercise, Spanish options, etc.  I'm winging it and winging it while in a funk means crappy decisions.  Crappy decision make me feel bad and the cycle continues.  

Today I'm making a few small steps back in that direction.  Little by little.

That's all for this Thursday.  Happy Veterans Day.  Later gators.