I'm a Mess

I'm walking through this fun week a hot mess and it's bumming me out.  I really, really, really wonder if my monthly is coming.  If it isn't, this is still some hormone issue.  It MUST be.

I'll start with the mess.

I'm sleeping like crap.  I'm night snacking like it's my dying meal.  I'm anxious all the time.  My energy is tanked.  I feel like crying all the time.  Geez.  Of course, a little chicken and the egg with mood v behaviors. 

I went to the garden club meeting at a nursery shop.  Learned a few new things, but it was HOT and mostly boring.  We sat on metal folding chairs that were set up on a down slope.  Exactly NOT the position I need for PT siting.  They started a 1/2 hour late (huge pet peeve) because there was a traffic backup that delayed a few people.  I did use a 20% coupon to get a kneeler pad for garden volunteering on Friday -- that's a win.  And I learned I can bring back my dead hydrangeas for replacement -- very nice win.

I stopped at Costco for gas and it was torn up for renovation.  That's the spirit of the day right there.

I took the coaching call in the car.  It was good (although I was on the verge of tears the whole time).  We talked about feeling imbalance in close relationships.  I'm giving, not receiving, but feeling like I'm expected to still continue giving.  No big resolve ... BUT a question came up at the end.  Why is an imbalance a problem?  That's worth exploring because this might be faulting thinking at work.  Old me vs new me situation.  No time this morning, but I'll thought download on this soon.

Some most excellent news though.  Genetic testing for the baby was fine.  The results were emailed and they saw the gender -- eeek, they know!  We're having GF cake from their wedding bakery on Sunday for the family gender reveal.  I'm so excited.  The extended family got told about the pregnancy so it was a nice afternoon talking to everyone.

My bookclub is Sunday at 3 o'clock.  Same time as the gender reveal.  Oh well.  I knew something would change and this is totally worth it.  My youngest is helping a friend move on Saturday so Sunday was the only availability.

Today is the 9 mile hike.  I'm nervous for my back.  I've built this up like it's a pilgrimage or Mt Everest.  It's only 3 more miles than normal and it's a slow, relatively level hike.  Geez.

To say I'm grouchy and don't want anyone, anything around me is an understatement.  I haven't had a mood feeling this strong in a long time.  Next evolution of peri?!?!  I hope not.  Hiking with 10 people should be interesting.  I need an attitude readjustment.  Maybe 4 hours in the woods will help.

There's my mess, in all its glory.  Later gators.