Another Weekend ...

Nothing much to say so here are a couple of updates.

BOOKS:

I've been reading Eckhard Tolle's, The Power of Now.  The beginning of the book is redundant (I like A New Earth a lot better, BTW), but things got GREAT around page 182.  Good vs bad.  Growth vs disintegration. Up vs down.  Negative thoughts.  I keep rereading it -- what I need to hear OVER AND OVER.

WEEKEND PLANS:

Kids over with TAKE OUT -- awesome and a cake from Wegmans delivered by hubby.  Easy peasy and I'm looking forward to a relaxing family day tomorrow.  I think hike is postponed again because of too much rain.

MY BACK:

It's wonky AGAIN.  The OBE strength workout was a no-no and I should've known better.  Certain moves are problematic but I thought if I did a LITTLE then I would build up some strength in that weak area.  Guess not.

COSTCO RUN:

Once every two weeks.  I get excited to go to the store.  By the end of the week it's slim pickings of fresh stuff.  I'll have to go to Trader Joe's early in the week next week because hubby is home.

FRAMEBRIDGE:

I'm going to try one item and see if I like this service.  Check them out -- they frame from digital or they'll send you packaging to mail them something to be framed.  It seems a bit risky if it's an irreplaceable item, but I don't want to go into stores right now.  First up is a piece of sheet music from a song my dad wrote for my wedding.  There are multiple pages and I'm able to photocopy the page I'm sending them.  That makes it seems low risk if something happens.  P.S.  Still waiting on the replacement from Crate & Barrel that will anchor the wall.

KITCHENAID:

I did a thing.  There is a vintage, light blue, 100 year celebration stand mixer with a ceramic bowl.  It's so pretty and will go beautifully in my kitchen (I think the blues will work).  It's on sale and I couldn't resist.  I like to look at pretty things and I love vintage looks.  I think I would always regret not getting it -- so I did :)  Pictures when it comes -- I can't wait.  I'll save my cobalt blue mixer for my youngest son.

Hope you have a happy weekend.  Stay well.  Later gators.

Tarot Card Reading

It was FUN!!  And a great message.  Believe what you will, but I took this as a message directed FOR me.  There are lots of cards that speak to other things that don't "speak" to me.  

Some highlights ...

First draw of 11 cards.

** Have more fun -- don't be as serious.

** Set boundaries.

** Universe is working for me, not against me.

** Great gathering of souls for connection -- soul tribes (not pictured)

** Say YES

** Leap -- the Universe will catch you

** Call your power and cuts chords

** You've been training for this for lifetimes (not pictured)

** Share your voice

** Who or what is triggering me -- mirror

** Get grounded in nature to help energy

Then a 3 card pull asking for DIRECTION:

** Birthing a new creation

** Great gathering of souls (AGAIN!!)

** Where are you being called to journey to?

Then a 3 card pull asking WHAT IS TRIGGERING me?

(Answer is ME -- she said these are all "self" cards. Oops!)

** What lights you up?

** Have you answered your deepest calling?

** What do you need to align or change?

I hear you, Universe.  Patience.  Things are growing in the stillness.  

Hump Day Updates

I did something I've NEVER done before ... cancelled my hair appointment.  I need to work on my mental health (aka funky mood) and an early appointment wouldn't allow a solid morning routine.  The appointment has been changed twice already, so I decided why not a third time.

Do I feel a smidge guilty this morning?  Maybe, but I am super grateful for a slow roll morning where I can DO my things.  I think this week is a solid dose of PMS meets pandemic and I couldn't muster a rushed morning along side an outing that requires being focused and careful for 2 hours.

I also have an evening Tarot Card reading and (once again) that bulks up my morning and my evening with a big expanse of NOTHING all day.

Anyway, the decision was made and that's that.  Choosing ME today.  (P.S. Remember when hair appointments were fun??)

Life Coaching was great.  Comforting to know I'm not alone with this rollercoaster of emotions -- even though I'm not faced with any tragedy or hardship.  Holly had a few insights after we talked.

(1) Why am I having trouble building a new routine during this time?  I have a belief that my hubby is going to quit work soon and I'll have to redo everything anyway.  Yep.  This has been on my mind because I am also holding a belief that the work I did over these last 2 years was for nothing too -- since so much of it has gone away.  I'm subconsciously fighting settling into something new, doing the work, find happy that will go away again.

(2) Why is having FUN so important and so hard to find?  I need fun to help with "carrying" some emotional weight from some family situations -- something to bring up my energy vibration, but that very weight is what makes HAVING FUN hard to find.

Awareness is half the battle.  Now to find some fixes.  It took an hour of talking and until those insights so I have homework to work on my beliefs.  There were a few other things we talked about -- things with no solutions, but value having an understanding ear to listen.  Loss of connections, anger about the lack of collective cooperation, etc.

I read a little of The Guest List (Lucy Foley).  I have a hard time reading when I'm in a mood.  My mind "thinks" over the words I'm reading -- I can read a few pages and have no idea what I read.  

I'll chat about the Tarot Card reading tomorrow.  This should be FUN!  

Lots of self-care time this morning.  Cold shower, workout, meditation, journaling -- but, first, dog walk.  Have a happy day.  Stay well.

Back to Life Coaching

And not a minute too soon.  

Last week was good -- best I've had in a long time.  This week is meh at best.  Up and down and up and down.  I need to hold in the UP for a little bit to build some reserves.

I'll let you know how it goes.

Early morning hair appointment tomorrow.  She's seeing me ahead of other NON-masked clients.  This will rush my morning -- as usual, but I'm grateful I can still go get my hair colored.

Let's focus on some more GOOD stuff this week.

Monti seems to be over his tummy issues.  I think it was too many treats combined with stress from the grooming.  Fingers crossed.

I watched Michelle Obama's Becoming on Netflix and it was amazing.  A reminder that good, smart people exist in this country. 

Meatless Monday was a success.  Chick peas and Beyond Burgers instead of meat.

I'm setting myself up to read while getting my hair done tomorrow.  I have a plan to do it with low risk.  It's boring to process alone, looking at myself in the mirror LOL.  

I have a Tarot Card virtual reading on Wednesday night for some FUN.

I tentatively have a meet up with my girlfriend on Thursday (this has been canceled the last 3 times so I'm carefully optimistic).

I want to add some other out-of-the-house stuff to my week, but I haven't figured that out yet.  Maybe a Starbucks run with the dogs.

COLD SHOWERS are still a thing and I look forward to that blast of cold in the morning.  That might be Perry talking LOL.  

We are doing takeout this weekend (Persian cuisine) and hubby is picking up a cake from Wegmans in VA.  Ultimate Vanilla.  If you don't know Wegmans, it's a grocery store with a huge fan base (like Trader Joe's).  Anyone who's shopped there knows their Ultimate Vanilla Cake -- it's legendary.

I'm going to try an OBE strength workout recommended by an Influencer.  Only requirement is a towel.  This might be doable (!!) 

It's getting lighter LATER in the morning and this is GREAT.  I have a bigger, later morning run window before it's light out.  I'll add an outdoor run very soon.  Atlanta is close to central time so we have noticeably different light/dark times.

Not a bad list for a MEH week.  

I'm going to do some thinking about why this week isn't as good as last week -- what's different?  Does anyone else feel like it's taking a herculean effort just to remain relatively sane?!?  Maybe Holly will have some insight today.

A little Enneagram FUN ... SIX with a FIVE wing.  Yep.

Stay well.  Later gators.  

Nothing-Much Monday

Monti had a backslide of upset stomach this weekend -- only at night again.  I put him on a strict diet and smaller portions yesterday and last night was okay.  Fingers crossed.  This dog-mama needs SLEEP (!!)

I was a slug on the sofa yesterday (see above).  Hubby left for VA and I did nothing but watch Outlander.  Bummed to learn Netflix only has up to season 3 -- then I need to purchase it.  Prime through season 6. 

I still haven't read much of The Guest List.  Turns out my DIL is reading the same book -- too funny.  I'll get at it tonight.

Joe is slowly adjusting -- a little forward, a little backward.  I was forced to "fix" his harness after he got both legs out and touching this a big Joe no-no.  He was so upset that he spent the day in his crate in the bedroom.  I'd go in to pet him a bit and give him a treat, but he would retreat very quickly into his crate.  Around 6 o'clock he came out and joined us in the family room -- upset finished for the day.  He can't go up for adoption until I can take his harness on and off.  I'll work on that this week.

The day is house chores and nothing else.  It's raining and expected to rain most of the early day -- no dog walk today either.

Nothing-much Monday.  Stay well.  Later gators.

Here are my boys ... they love to sleep like this.

Quick Hello

Good morning.

I just finished my last cat care -- what a pain.  8 days, twice a day and litter box clean up from two very messy kitties.  I did it as a favor because her sitter backed out at the last minute.  I hope that's the last time -- of course, that's up to me.  Learning how to say NO.  I don't mind occasionally in a pinch, but I don't want to be the "regular" sitter. 

Joe is settling in, but he bites and he is a little nuts LOL.  Probably a combination of little dog and not being treated well (poor baby).  He's a stinker, but you can't help but love and laugh at his shenanigans.  

I woke up with a big headache this morning.  I had wine last night for the first time in a while, but I rarely get a headache from drinking.  I had a dentist appointment this week and now I'm paranoid (!!)  We had wine because I made a fancy dinner.  Chicken, orzo, artichoke hearts, olives, feta, dill, wine, butter.  YUM!!  (Maybe the headache is from the gluten in the orzo?!)

Anyway, took Advil and I'll see if I can rally.  Monti seems to be over his tummy issues and we had a full night's sleep -- yea (so extra strange that I have such a bad headache).

We wanted to hike this morning, but we had tons of rain the last 2 days.  This is a super wet hike anyway, so not a good idea.  We'll save it for hubby's next trip home.

I haven't done ANY reading of the suspense book.  A little Eckhart Tolle reading, but nothing else.  My days have been nicely full and I'm too tired at night.  Now that Monti is sleeping through again, I'll be back at it next week.

Trader Joe's flowers and a picture of Joe to end this quick hello.  Have a happy day -- stay well.

Fawn

Remember how I said I saw a fawn on my hike this week?  It appeared several times as I was trying to figure out the winding trail that was so overgrown with tall reeds and grass that I was scared to go too far.    You could only see the dirt path under your shoes -- the rest was plant that you had to push away.  I doubled back to the area that looked familiar to try and figure out if I missed a turn because I didn't remember this part of the hike (I think it was overgrown more than when I've been before and that's why I was confused).  I was concerned about getting lost and snakes since you couldn't see much of the path ahead (lots of poisonous snakes in GA BTW).

Anyway, I kept seeing the fawn and it kept startling me.  I ended up seeing a fellow hiker coming from that direction and he confirmed that was the way to go after I walked back and forth along the river a couple of times.  Right before I walked into the grass area, I saw the fawn one last time.

The next day I listened to a podcast from my life coach about repeating numbers and she also chatted about animal symbols.  I decided to look up a FAWN sighting.  Keep in mind, every meditation I do lately is focusing on finding MY PATH going forward.  I was thinking about this a lot while I hiked for obvious reasons ... walking down a path :)

This is part of the article I found online -- the first and only thing I read.  Prepare your woo woo hearts ...

The fawn is a symbol of innocence and peace, a perfect reminder that no matter how winding or thick the path appears to get, there is always solace and love stationed along the way for us to remember. The youth of the deer, its curiosity and willingness to approach, were reminding us to tread our paths with fearlessness and innocence. But the fawn is strong as well, wobbling on two seemingly pencil thin legs to tread the forest despite its seeming frailty (something we all do when we open ourselves to love).

Thanks, Universe.  I needed that message.

UPDATE on Crate & Barrel:  Sending a replacement and a return label to ship the item back.  Yea.  Took them a bit (customer service is all texting), but looks like they're getting it done.

UPDATE on Joey:  He's a cutie pie, but a biter and super nervous.  Doesn't look like he knows the name "Matt" so we're calling him Joe.  He's seems to be housebroken and crate trained.  Fingers crossed both continue.  Pictures soon -- I'm too tired to upload them to my computer.

UPDATE on Monti:  Another night of diarrhea and throwing up every hour.  By morning ... totally fine.  I think he might be intolerant to chicken.  I'll give that theory a try, but if it happens again tonight, I'll take him to the vet.  He started at 1:30 and I'm exhausted.  Did I mention hubby snored all night too?!?  Fun times hah!

I can't complain I'm not busy this week (!!)  I'll need to look for some fun, although at this rate, SLEEP might be the big prize.  Have a happy day.  Stay well.  Later gators.

Lots to Tell

Lots of updates this morning -- so many, some might wait for another post.  I have the DENTIST this morning -- ugh, but a necessary evil -- so time is tight.  Mornings tight??  Yep.  As usual lately.

MENTAL GAME:

Yesterday evening I was spent.  I had not-a-shit left to give to the world so I did what I needed to do and went to bed at 6:30 to read, meditation and end my day.  Screened phone calls, text message and social media.  Boy, did I need it and it felt good.

BOOKS:

I finished Boy's Life and I give it an A+ ... if only it wasn't a lousy old paperback, but that doesn't matter.  The story came together and was magical.  Read it, feel great, feel nostalgic, enjoy the beautiful writing.

Next up is from an influencer -- SUSPENSE with awesome ratings.  I'm excited to read it already.  The Guest List (Lucy Folley).

DELIVERIES:

Crate & Barrel picture came and is damaged -- dang.  Customer service isn't very responsive so far, so this one is up in the air.  I love the picture though.

Olive and June nail polish and STAR stickers came.  Guess I have a color "type" since these are basically the colors I already own.  Oh well.  I love the STARS.  I also got NailTek to see if I can strengthen my nails a bit.

DOGS:

Monti got groomed and looks adorable.  Then all night long, explosive diarrhea.  First round in TEN areas of our bedroom.  That was a fun middle of the night clean up chore.  He seems okay this morning -- fingers crossed.

Our foster is coming this afternoon.  His real name appears to be Matt -- from his records.  We've been re-naming owner surrenders in our system because the owners have been finding them on our Facebook page and posting strange things.  We'll call him Matt, but Joey is his rescue name.

What I need to save for another day is a longer story about seeing the fawn on my hike this week.  It's a bit woo woo and just the story I needed to make me feel less alone.  It's a good one (!!) but the dentist is calling.

Have a happy day.  Stay well.  Later gators.

Hello :)

I think I chatted about this before ... keeping my FUN for the day in MY CONTROL and not attaching too hard onto outside things that shouldn't hold a high value (but have in quarantine).

Case in point yesterday -- I'm so glad I started changing this up.  Phone call scheduled with my friend who has had to cancel recent times together (for very good reasons).  I would've called THIS my fun for the day and put all those cards into the phone call.  Long story short, it was delayed and then was barely a phone chat.  Disappointing "catch up," but it would've been more like devastating with the way I was attaching hard to these "social" moments.

So what was my FUN?

I finally did a solo hike.  Almost 5 miles because I got lost twice.  Ugh.  The physical landmarks were different from the last time I was there -- water erosion, trees down, detours.  It was confusing.  At first, hiking alone was exhilarating.  After the second time I got lost, rolled my ankle AND was running low on water (my bad, I know better) I was a little panicky.  Add a fawn who was following me (beautiful, but it scared me every time I heard her running through the trees) and I was relieved to be finished.  Relieved, but PROUD.  This was out of the box for me.  Alone in nature is scary to me.  I'll absolutely do it again, but carry MORE water.  I didn't take pictures because I wanted to move as quickly as I could.  I was limited by my heel, but I was able to get a good workout.  My new Hoka hiking shoes worked super well.

Speaking of workout.  I tried a beginner yoga class from OBE.  Here's my complaint about every beginner yoga class I've ever taken aside from Bob Harper's classes.  We do basically nothing but simple stretches ... then ... BAM ... leg up, bend in half, twist, lift arm, twist more, hold up toes and balance for 40 seconds.  It goes from ZERO to 100.  Bob Harper keeps it simple, but still effective.  I like the OBE classes, but I guess the yoga is out.  I gave up on the class and did my own thing.

My foster is coming today or tomorrow if he can hitch a ride.  Confusion from the rescue -- ugh.  I can't do a pick up from the far away vet until Thursday.  Apparently, he's an owner surrender and he's a biter at the vet.  Poor little dude.  We'll love on him and, hopefully, get him feeling more secure.  

My drinking glasses came from Crate & Barrel and they are fabulous.  Big, with lids and easy to hold.  These are considered "bar stock" so they're inexpensive.  Double win.  P.S. The glass is the fizzy water from Trader Joe's.  It's made with real fruit juice and I love it.  Far more flavor than most.

That's it from here.  Early groomer drop off for Monti this morning.  Little guy HATES it and he might come home to his first foster dog.  Big day.

Looking for my happy, as usual.  Stay well.  Later gators.

Monday Updates

Here are a few updates on the things of late ...

COLD SHOWERS:

I'm not sure if there's a placebo effect that's raised my mood, but I'd say I'm basically out of my funk.  My back feels good too.  The showers feel refreshing in the morning.  Easy, harmless.  I'd call this a win.  BTW, I "rush" my regular shower to make up for some of the extra water usage.  

OUTLANDER:

Still good, but season 3 is getting a little too much --  no spoilers, but I'm getting sick of the main characters being all HERO.  Even their flaws are turned around to be for the good of others.  Maybe I need a little break from binge watching.  You think?!?!

SELLING SUNSETS:

Reality real-estate show on Netflix -- 3 seasons.  Not sure about this one.  I watched a couple of episodes and it falls especially flat after what's happening in our world.  Spoiled, mostly blonde, all beautiful white women working for 2 brothers selling luxury.  Add a heavy dose of mean-girl stuff, sexist bullshit and obvious white privilege and that's the show.  Yet, I'm bored in quarantine.  Maybe I'll watch to be shocked and horrified or maybe I'll veto giving airtime to this crap.  Probably the latter.  

FOSTER DOG:

No word about him.  Stay tuned.  Usually we have some sort of timeline.  Makes me wonder ...

PICTURE WALL:

I'm getting some fun ideas to frame memorabilia from our lives.  I'll set up the first couple of things with FrameBridge this week and built "the look" once I get those finished.  My picture should be arriving this month and this is an anchoring point for around the mirror.

BOY'S LIFE:

I've read to page 250 or so.  Guess I'll finish this week.  It's becoming more cohesive and that's driving me to read more than one chapter at a time -- it's a good story.  I ordered a suspense thriller that's coming later this week.  I LOVE this kind of book and it gets great ratings so I'm extra motivated to finish.  I won't order the old style paperbacks again.  Way too hard for my old eyes to read.

SOCIAL THINGS:

Phone chat today with my girlfriend who had the house flood.  In-person isn't happening so we're catching up the quarantine way -- maybe I'll chat and walk (weather depending).  Monti gets groomed tomorrow and I have a dentist appointment on Wednesday.  Social??  Kind of ... I get to see people mask to mask.

OBE FITNESS:

I did an air boxing workout yesterday.  It was fun, but I had to modify the leg bouncing a bit because of my heel.  My arms are sore today ... really?!?!  Wow, I need to get back to variety in my workouts.  So far my back is holding steady.  Just waiting on the heel to heal.  It's a nice workout service, but I'm not getting as much use out of it yet because of ME, not OBE.

That's all from here.  Hope this is a good week for us all -- a win will feel great.  Stay well.  Later gators.

My Back

Hours in the kitchen yesterday and my back was only tired -- not sore.  This is HUGE.  I've had so many back issues lately.  I'm crediting the COLD SHOWERS.  My Hoka shoes help my back too, but I've had them for long enough that this improvement is probably not shoe related.

The BBQ was good.  I'm not a fan of ribs, but the family likes them.  I used a different cheese in the mashed potatoes and I wasn't a fan -- cheddar from Trader Joe's.  But the spinach salad was fantastic.  I've been off salads for a few weeks in lieu of cooked veggies and this tasted good.

I made 2 cakes from a vintage 1950s recipe -- neither was great.  I added lemon zest and glaze to one and the other I added peaches and brown sugar on top.  The lemon was okay, but dry (probably needed a lower baking temperature).  The peach cake had no flavor at all (hubby thought it was apple LOL).  I'll go back to the French and Italian recipes for vanilla batter -- more moist and forgiving.

I started the cat care yesterday and it went fine -- 15 instructions and all LOL.  A week feels kind of long, but it's not going to be hard.  My only complaint -- once again everything happens in the morning and at bedtime (cat needs insulin in 12 hour stretches).  The middle of the day feels long, but the beginning and end feel rushed.

We had lots of rain yesterday, but nothing that upset the BBQ.  We lost power for a minute at bedtime -- nothing more though.  Thank the lord.  

I don't have any "plans" for today -- as much as one plans anything right now.  Guess I'll wing it with the hubs and pups.  It's probably too wet for the hike I've been jonesing to do and this afternoon is back to HOT.

Have a happy Sunday.  Stay well.  Later gators.

Outlander and Foster

I started Season 3 of Outlander -- wow, this is a good show.  I don't "watch" every little bit (especially the battle scenes which are boring to me), but it's been my nightly routine this week.  I'll slow down a bit with hubby home this week.  MORE READING needed.  I give myself this week to get to page 300 of Boy's Life or I'm tabling the book (I'm on 109).

Looks like we have a foster coming soon -- Joey.  7 year old Maltese and he looks sweet.  I don't know his story yet -- waiting for him to be get in our system.  I wonder if he's an owner surrender since the picture is at a home.  I'm so excited to get back to fostering (!!)

I have significant kitchen time today.  Nothing hard, but a lot for my back.  It feels great right now and I need to keep it that way.  Oven ribs finished on the grill.  Mashed potatoes with all the fixings mixed in.  Spinach salad.  Vintage lemon cake for dessert.  Nothing is prepped so this will take a minute.  I'm not sure why I didn't do anything yesterday -- I think I'm a day off in my head.

My hairdresser postponed my appointment for this week.  Some sort of product delivery issue.  That's good -- dentist AND hair the same week is more "exposure" than usual.

My Hoka hiking shoes came.  Brown low risers (nothing interesting for a picture).  They're super comfortable and I'll hike next week.  I got the regular rise because mid-risers weren't well rated with a side seam issue and my heel doesn't like higher shoes right now.  The cushioning is awesome.  Some of the hikers were low rated because of slip issues -- this one seems to be good.  Grip is so important for hikers.

We ended up with NO RAIN yesterday.  Lordy, the weather forecasters.  Today looks like rain all afternoon.  Guess we wait and see.  I hope we can be in the yard.  The dogs love to run around together and I want to ENJOY my RELAXING fence :)

Have a happy Saturday.  Stay well.  Later gators.

Happy Friday

Hubby comes home tonight and will be working from home this week -- yea!  Kids come over tomorrow for a BBQ (ribs and mashed potatoes and such) -- also, yea!

We were invited on Sunday to our friend's lake house (the ones we see in our backyard) to hang on the dock and swim (all safe and socially distanced and masked) ... BUT, they had a house flood yesterday.  Good lord, 2020 is a mean beeotch.  Raincheck on the hangout and they are knee deep in water restoration.  Does anyone know anyone who's having a good year?!?!

Rain today and tomorrow and I'm not bummed -- temps will be in the low 80s.  

I'm babysitting two cats starting Saturday for a week.  One needs twice daily insulin shots so she has trouble finding people who feel comfortable giving a shot.  Her vet tech sitter backed out, so she asked me.  Next door neighbors and very safe (her husband is more housebound than I am LOL).  Her cats are friendly so this will be nice.  I love cats.

Quick hello this morning.  Got to get the pups walked before the rain comes in -- but first, my COLD SHOWER.  

Happy Weekend.  I'll be out looking for some happy too.  Stay well.  Later gators.

Good Day #2

Another good day.  Another "productive" day -- productive by quarantine standards.  

I dusted, mopped the floors and cleaned the kitchen.  Listened to a podcast and chatted with a friend.  Good things to do while cleaning.  My back held well.  Is this the cold shower?  Not sure, but it feels really good right now.

OBE low impact cardio class for the workout and my back was fine with this too.  Today is a long power walk outside or a treadmill run (depends on how hot it gets) before my trip to Costco.

Slow progress on the picture bins, but working on the picture wall.  More of both today.

I'm totally hooked on Outlander (Netflix) -- I'm only halfway through Season 2 (of 6) and it's giving me the comfort of a familiar series.  Kind of pathetic, but it feels good to watch the same characters each night.  My new besties LOL?!?!  I read the first two books long ago and don't remember much so it feels new.

Boy's Life book is running very slow for me.  It's good so far, but I can't get over the crappy physical book.  It's hard to read -- thin pages that you can see shadows of the words on the backside, small and thick book, font that's small and hard to read.  I'm old or spoiled or both.  I'm giving myself a week to make some progress (page 90 of 580) or I'm stopping because it's clogging the works.  So far, each long chapter is a story of his childhood so when the chapter ends, I don't feel pushed to read more.  It's feeling a little like short stories so far.  But, it's really good!  I need to figure this out.

I ordered nail polish and nail stickers from Olive and June.  It's all over Instagram and I wanted something fun for my nails.  The stickers are small white stars.  Peel, stick and put a top coat over.  

I also ordered a few things from Etsy.  Big inspirational stickers for my cork board (and to send to friends), Schitt's Creek t-shirt and little zip bag (this is a gift for a friend).  I'll take a picture when they come.

My Hoka hiking shoes are out for shipment next week -- woo hoo.  I'm totally ready to hike again.

I need to pick up Monti's heart meds today too.  Apparently, this medication is having supply issues so I got 2 months worth.  I'll take the dogs in the car -- vet is still curbside only (yes!!).  We took a "ride" to get the mail yesterday -- all of 3 minutes but it gives them a little extra too.

My night eating is STILL struggling, but I think I'm making slow progress.  My days are much better and I don't start slumping (and funking) until about 5 o'clock now.  I'm working on it.

Have a happy day.  Stay well.  Later gators.

A Good Day

I had a decent day yesterday.  I'm in relative shock LOL.  Why??  I actually DID things.

Called the jeweler to start talking about my birthday ring (sent pictures to the designer).

Called the window washer for OUTSIDE only and have it scheduled for September.

Worked on my bedroom picture wall -- using Framebridge (more on this soon).

Canceled the cleaning crew officially -- she is holding my spot.  They are backing off cleaning too.

Went to Starbucks with the pups -- getting out of the house is nice.

Youngest came over to pick up a folding table -- nice to see him.

Chatted with a "fun" friend on the phone.  Talked some politics, but also laughed a lot.

Not bad.  It felt like a normal day of yesteryears.  Remember those?  Today I was planning to take my eldest for a spinal injection (just drop off and pick up) but my youngest is taking him instead.  They live 10 minutes apart and the medical building is 5 minutes from them.  This saves me lots of driving back and forth from my house.

Yesterday was also GOOD NEWS day.  Biden picked a fantastic running mate -- hope on the horizon.  DIL's coworker tested NEGATIVE so we can see them this weekend.  Hubby had a much better day at work.  Both the cleaning crew and the window washer talked about most people not wanting them inside -- in THIS area that's good news that maybe SOME people here are taking this seriously.  

I have a day of nothing today now that I'm not driving my son.  My plan is to do some housecleaning and work on the picture bins and picture wall.  Nothing major, but it'll be good.  Thursday and Friday are Trader Joe's and Costco.

Two happy days in a row?  Can it be done ... stay tuned and stay well.  Later gators.

P.S.  Want to see a picture of the ring -- looking at something similar to this ...  eeekk, it's so pretty.  It'll be for my right hand ring finger. 

Eckhart Tolle

I had a good day yesterday.  The cold shower (or whatever made me happy) took me through most of the day feeling well.

Then I chatted with hubby.  He had of a pisser day and is back to thinking this job isn't for him -- not during COVID.  Can't get to know his people well, can't enjoy VA, can't do ANYTHING after work, can't do a good part of his job (traveling with the sales team).  When he leaves this job, he'll retire for good.

This brought up all the FEELS and my happy day fell into FEELINGS again.

The primary thought?  Why the hell can't I get some continuity in my routine?  Just when I think I SEE what the rest of the year looks like, it's all up in UNCERTAIN land again.  This means the planning and routines I'm building now are only short-lived -- makes me wonder why I bother at all.  (BTW, this is Enneagram Six to the fullest.)

Is retirement bad?  Probably not, but it is a HUGE adjustment.  I CAN'T HANDLE ANYMORE ADJUSTMENTS!!  I can, but I don't want to.

Eckhart Tolle to the rescue.  NOW.  PRESENT MOMENT.  It's all there is ... always.  Live here.  Take action in the mode of ACCEPTANCE.  The action will be aligned and easier and better.  

Example -- flat tire.  Either way, you need to take action.  You can kick, scream, have a fit, be mad ... and the tire still needs to be fixed.  Or you can change the tire in acceptance -- a lot "easier," calmer experience.  I get it.  Yet, it's HARD.  Lately, I'm doing more of the kicking and screaming and fighting WHAT IS.

This year is YUCKY.  Personally, societally, worldly.  

Cold shower this morning.  Felt good -- that's a mild win.  I didn't get the BIG boost that yesterday gave me, but I'm soldiering on LOL.  

NOW.  That's all there is and in this NOW moment I'm good.  Stay tuned ... I'm curious what this week will bring with my new plans in place.  Giving it a moment to see what works.

Today is a blank slate and my "extra" goal today is GET OUT OF THE HOUSE.  It'll be a grocery store run or a Starbucks trip with the dogs -- or maybe both.  I need to see the outside world.  P.S.  Grocery store would be during the day, not at opening and this is new for me.  I'm being too strict with only shopping when the store first opens.  

Find some happy.  I'll be searching too.  Stay well :)

Cold Showers

 

Deep for first thing in the morning, but TODAY is the day I get my butt in gear and this seemed timely.  I've planned, researched, over thought, utterly failed and false started a bunch of times.  Odd are absolutely not in my favor, but I'm back at it.

I listened to Do The Thing podcast about cold showers.  Very interesting.  I've been doing this for ... what, a week?  I'm changing it up a little after listening.  I was taking a shower and then ending with a cold shower.  Per Melissa's suggestion, I'm getting up and immediately taking a cold shower -- other shower later.  When I say immediately, it's right before I get dressed to walk the dogs.  (So I've taken them out back to potty, fed them, given meds and THEN shower.)  She sold me on this method because decade long research suggests COLD after a workout doesn't help recovery -- you want to do it before the workout.  My goals for the cold shower are mood, inflammation and recovery.  

It was a shock to my system this morning (but that's the point) and it felt great.  I'll update after I do this for a week.  I walked the dogs during PRIME time and encountered all the usual dogs -- AND I held my shit together.  Coincidence?  Placebo?  or COLD SHOWER magic ... stay tuned for more updates.

P.S.  I thought ADDING a shower was going to be a pain in the butt.  But it's not actually inconvenient.  I'm getting undressed to change anyway.  I'm not getting my hair wet and I do a quick nibbly bit wash which leaves me feeling fresh.  It's easy.

P.P.S  There were some other takeaways in this episode too.  She kept asking for help, universe answered with cold shower and she kept saying NO.  I'm doing this too (with other things -- hello, Green Dress).  Also, she talked about building nervous system resilience.  Something is uncomfortable and hard and the longer you push through this phase, the easier it gets.  Your nervous systems ACCEPTS it and doesn't fight it so hard.  Fight through the uncomfortable with consistency and you'll be rewarded.  Don't push through and you'll live in the HARD.  This also has lots of life applications.  Melissa says it better, of course.

Listen to this if you are interested in learning more (like her rational for humming or singing while you take the shower).  She has another podcast two episodes later that talks about cold showers too.  I have that cued up for today.

This afternoon starts the picture bin organization.  Something to fill in my afternoon.  I'm excited.

What else am I doing?

Nothing too structured, but I'm asking more from my habits and things I know work for me.  Longer meditations on days I don't have a long workout.  Back to goal journalling for focus forward (even if the timing isn't clear because of the pandemic).  Getting out of the house more. - even if it's just a drive to Starbucks.  Some solo nature time once my hiking shoes arrive -- moving meditation.  Back to a regular dinner -- not snacking as a dinner.  Back to veggies at EVERY meal and at least one serving of green leafy veggies for the day.  Back to reading SELF HELP stuff.  I've replaced this non-fiction reading with antiracist learning and that's needed too, but I didn't realize how much self help reading impacts my day.

Another focus is LETTING GO.  I have a few things that I need to let go and a couple of things that are naturally letting go and this has me in a tizzy.  Letting go is NOT my super power.  I'm taking a HUGE leap of faith and trusting my gut that this is meant to happen.  Faith and trust that I'm heading in the right direction when everything is so topsy turvy.  I'm doing it though.

Have a happy day.  I'm going to look for some happy too.  Stay well.  Later gators.

The Fence is FINISHED (!!)

And it's EXACTLY the fix I needed.  We ran low on zip ties toward the end, so we have a little more securing to do once another package arrives, but otherwise, it's perfect.  My dog-escape anxiety is at ZERO.   We have a big back fence -- almost $400 to do the entire thing.  This was the least expensive option and the most flexible -- it can easily be taken down or replaced with no issue to the existing fence.  We got the two foot high 100 foot rolls x 3.  Comes in a few height options too.

It's impossible to see it from the street and at most distances it's "invisible" unless you look very hard.  Up close is a bit clunky, but that's no issue for us.

Didn't try the SeedLip.  The 3 of us worked for 3 hours in the sun and it wasn't hard, but it was backbreaking.  Lime juice went to a pitcher of margaritas instead LOL.  Can't say that bothered me.  Lunch tasted awesome -- we were hungry and tired.  It hit all the spots.

I'm working on my HEAD STUFF.  Specifically ACCEPTING that my baseline normal is in the crapper.  Again, I know all the important BIG things are good and I'm very grateful, but the FUN part of life sucks for the foreseeable future.  This might seem doom and gloom, but accepting a low baseline means I don't rollercoaster as much.  It also means I have a STARTING POINT.  If this is how my life looks right now, I need to build from THIS reality, not a reality I WISH I was in.

Building up from this new place means rethinking what fun can look like and it's a challenge.  

I also came to terms with being angry that I have to rework my life.  The last couple of years were spent figuring out how to be happier and I made a lot of progress.  This is a big step backwards and it makes me upset.  Arguing with reality won't get me anywhere though.  Even though what I'm doing doesn't look the same, the things I learned about myself should help me climb back more quickly.

I made a decision to come "clean" to my life coach too.  I'm turning to food WAY TOO MUCH and it's out of control again.  I hate to admit I'm back HERE again, but the reality is I am and I need help to get out of it.  Just making that decision feels good.  HONESTY with myself (and her) is a way forward.

On another note -- cold showers.  I guess this is a big thing.  Melissa Urban of Whole30 fame did a couple of podcasts on this subject very recently.  I haven't been listening to her podcasts because they were too heavy and a bit preachy lately.  I have the first one cued up and can't wait to learn more about it.  If NOTHING ELSE, this is some fun variety.  A little experiment.  Something new.  THIS is the type of thing I need in my life.

I'm setting up to start the picture bin organization this week.  This goes hand in hand with working on the picture wall for my bedroom.  Forcing some productivity in my quarantine.  

I'm DETERMINED to figure this out and, damn it, HAVE SOME FUN -- hah.

Hoka hiking shoes have shipped so maybe a hike this week if weather, heel and shoe delivery cooperate.  Being out of the house is important for me.  Nature is a bonus.  When I hibernate, it brings on issues for me.  Hibernating feels good at first, but quickly brings on a funk.  

This is the most excited, hopeful, strong I've felt in a long time.  Pretty please with sugar on the top, let this be the start of something better.  If you're feeling a funk too -- not alone.  Seems like everyone is hurting or struggling.  Hang on.  We can figure this out.

Stay well.  Later gators.

Hearts of Palm

I finally tried the Natural Heaven hearts of palm noodles from Amazon (Instagram recommendation).  Wow -- they are fabulous.  No taste when you cover in sauce and meatballs.  Texture is chewy -- more like pasta than zoodles.

Entire package is 70 calories -- only one ingredient.  You can heat it in a pan or just pour the warmed sauce over it.  It's fully cooked.  Total fantastic option if you are GF or wanting lower carb option.  

It's also fantastic if you ARE cooking regular pasta too.  This doesn't require any extra work.  Winner for dinner (I haven't had a rhyme in a long time).

Later today I'm trying the non-alcoholic spirits from SeedLip.  I'm making a mock-tail for fun and I have a pint of fresh squeezed lime juice.

And ... drum roll ... great news for today THE FENCE CAME EARLY.  Installation happening today (fingers crossed).  Youngest is coming over to help because my back is bad.  I'm so excited I can't stand it!

Eldest and DIL are on hold again.  Another COVID positive from a colleague at work for our DIL.  Ugh.  But we all are on the same page -- safety is the PRIORITY so we canceled them over today.

Youngest will leave with a box of goodies for his hard work.  Those pillows I got from Amazon are awesome.  I ordered him a couple of sets (we all love pillows in our family).  Also, he covets my drinking glasses from PB.  I never liked them -- too heavy and slippery.  The glasses I ordered should be arriving in a couple of weeks.  Since I don't use the PB ones, I packed up a bunch for him to take now.

A late lunch after fence install is Hawaiian pork I made a couple of months ago (thanks, FoodSaver) with the fixings for pork soft tacos.  Coleslaw, homemade pickles, homemade brown salsa and lime/cilantro rice.  TJs ice cream sandwiches for dessert.  I have to pass on the ice-cream, but I'm going to make frozen berry yogurt in my Vitamix. 

I looked for the egg wraps from TJs to use as a taco shell -- no luck at my store ... BUT, I found celery root wraps and they are AWESOME.  Crunchy, but pliable because they're paper thin.  Found them by the salsas and dips.  Refrigerate only and the date was about 2 weeks out.  15 calories for 2 (size of a small tortilla shell). 

I cleaned the kitchen and all the bathrooms yesterday.  Set my back off ... of course, but it's done for a couple of weeks.  Dusting tomorrow and floors next week.  I'll figure it out.  It was a productive day all around.

My mood is better again today.  Cold showers??  Hormones leveled out??  Having a plan??  Being productive??  Who knows.  Hope this sticks around for a little while though.  The rollercoaster is exhausting.  

I finished Sea Wife (Amity Gaige).  It was a fast, fun read but the ending fizzled to NOTHING.  Absolutely nothing.  The suspense was for an ending that didn't deserve any suspense at all.  Bummer.

I'm starting Boys Life (Robert McCammon).  Here's the deal -- recommended by a fellow foster on Facebook who did that "nominated to post my favorite books."  BTW, I HATE those nominated posts, but she's an avid literary person (writes, reads, performs) and THIS BOOK was her favorite of all time.  It's out of print so I ordered used and it's a LITTLE paperback.  Remember those?  It'll be tough to read the font and hold the book (yep, real thing LOL).  But when this kind of person says this kind of thing about a book, I listen.  Wish me luck navigating the vintage paperback hah!

I'm still working through my Enneagram books too.  Chapter here and there.  It's really fascinating the deeper you go.

On hold are the 2 antiracist books (I read one, two more to go).  I need something lighter still.  They are on the nightstand and when I finish the Enneagram books, I'll start one.  I like to have a fiction and non-fiction going, but more than that gets distracting.

That's my weekend in a nutshell.  I hope I have good FENCE news to report tomorrow.  Even if there's a hiccup, it's still a step closer (so I'm telling myself).  

Stay well.  Later gators.

The Enneagram

What is the Enneagram?

Paraphrasing The Road Back to You (Cron and Stabile), the Enneagram is 9 personality styles that are formed in childhood to "cope and feel safe."  Each number sees the world through a filter of a specific motivation and it influences how we relate to the world.  This system has been studied for generations, but became know in the US in the 1970s.  No number is better or worse than another -- all have good and less good points.

Enneagram Wings

The number to the left and right of your number.  (See picture above.)  We lean toward the characteristics of those wings.  Richard Rohr thinks you lean toward one during the first part of your life and then add the other wing toward middle age.  This holds true for me.

Enneagram Connection Numbers

With the numbers in the circle -- think about forming a triangle and this gives you 2 other number connections.  One is how you act when you are at your best, the other is how you act at your worst. 

Enneagram Triads

There are 3 groupings of the numbers:  Anger/Gut Triad (8,9,1); Feeling/Heart Triad (2,3,4); Fear/Head Triad (5,6,7).  This is your driving center of emotion and intellect.  Each number in the triad uses their center differently.

Resources I've Used

The Road Back to You (Cron and Stabile)

The Enneagram, A Christian Perspective (Richard Rohr)

Jen Hatmaker Podcast series and Brene Brown podcast on the Enneagram.

Test:  The Enneagram Institute 144 question test (cost $13)

My Number:

I'm a SIX -- The Loyalist.  I lean heavily on a 5 wing and have started exploring my 7 wing in the last couple of years.  When I'm at my healthiest, I act like an evolved 9.  When I'm at my worst, I act like an unhealthy 3.

Many online resources to explain each number and the connections between numbers.

In a nutshell ... I crave security and my motivation comes from a fear base.  I play "what if" scenarios for every decision and every situation.  I'm always looking for dangers and ways to avoid them or be prepared if they happen.  I don't trust easily (and often "test" that trust), but when I do, I'm loyal -- sometimes to a fault.  It's why I have trouble letting go of people or things.  Once I DECIDE this is good (relationship, decision, activity, item), I fall HARD and stay with that decision well past benefit at times.  It's also why I get hurt so much if a friendship fails.  That said, if you're "my people," I will go to the ends of the world for you.

Why Does This Matter?

This is where it becomes a long study of yourself.  Even though you are grouped and labeled, you're still very individualized in how you show up in the world.  Knowing your motivation, knowing your strengths and your insecurities helps to understand your WHY.   I understand WHAT I need to feel my best and can better identify when I'm not doing well (hurting, anxious, etc). 

I can stop trying to CHANGE my nature and instead use for my betterment.

Here are Some Examples:

Dogs escaping or POTENTIALLY escaping through my fence is giving me crazy anxiety.  FEAR based situation.  I've been trying to wrap my head around it, reason myself out of it, calm myself -- to no end.  Knowing WHAT stops my anxiety -- being prepared and preventing problems, made me realize the BEST way to help my anxiety was to stop escape from being a possibility.  Puppy fence proofing.  Could I continue to work on my mindset and TRY to relax -- sure, but that is the hard way and not completely effective FOR ME.

Saying goodbye to things -- even things I don't want in my life is HARD for me.  I hang on way too long.  Knowing that this is my tendency, I can trust my decision on a goodbye more quickly.  The goodbye will be hard -- almost always.  I would hang on too long because I believed if I didn't WANT this, then the goodbye should be easy.  Since it felt hard, I didn't trust it was the right decision and I would go back and forth a zillion times (GNI group!!).  Knowing it will almost ALWAYS be HARD for me clears up that thinking.  Make sense?!?!

I want to be a spontaneous, easygoing, fun person and I keep trying to ADD this to my life (leaning toward that 7 wing).  But I need to be spontaneous in MY OWN WAY.  Spontaneous with a safety net and a plan (as a SIX) -- then I can be THAT person.  For example ... let's go to a city and walk around with no specific plans.  This would freak me out.  BUT ... as a SIX, I can be spontaneous and walk around the city if I have my safety net.  Bag with water bottle and snack (just in case), an idea of possible things to do (just in case we don't happen upon fun we can have a backup), sunscreen AND umbrella, comfortable shoes and clothes, address of our hotel and phone number.  SEE?!?!  My version of SPONTANEOUS.  I'm not fighting that anymore.  This is how I operate and it relaxes me.  If I need none of it, so be it.  But it's there if I do so I can relax into the adventure of the day.

P.S.  Our first trip to Europe, my kids called my backpack the "magic backpack" because I ALWAYS carried the "what if" things we might need.  They'd mention ... wish I had this ... and I had it.  That's my SIX showing.  Security, planning, caring for my people, mitigating my fear ... so I can have FUN.  

I Thought I Was a TWO

When I took the free test online I was able to manipulate the results.  TWO is the Helper.  I'm a nurse, I help people a lot ... of course I'm The Helper.  Except, I'm not.  When I started looking deeper, TWO doesn't fit me at all.  The TWO qualities I have as a SIX can look the same on the outside, but motivate from very different places.  When I took the BIG test (144 questions) and it came out a 6 -- I took it again the next week.  Still a 6, always a 6 and now I'm glad to know it.

This is common apparently.  I was shocked I had it wrong.  

How to Find Your Number:

My thoughts -- take the BIG test.  Spend the $13.  It will give you your possible numbers in ranking order.  Look at the top ones and then do a deeper read to see what number fits.  It might not be your top number, but it should be in the top three results.

My family took the test and my younger son was solidly an EIGHT.  Totally fit.  Everyone else had to look at the second highest possibility to find their numbers.  

Of course, you can read every number and learn from that point.  I think the test helps narrow it down and gives a good place to start.

Why It's Helpful to Know Other People's Numbers

Understanding behind THEIR motivations.  This helps in how you relate to them, work toward compromises and not take things so personally.  

Hubby is a ONE.  He looks for perfection and improvement in everything.  I take that as he's being critical, but he's being himself.  

For example.  I might make a special dinner with hubby in mind.  Not too spicy, food he likes, etc.  He loves the dinner and is super appreciative.  At the end of the meal, he comments that it was wonderful, but next time he'd like less sauce.  I see that as criticism.  He doesn't.  I see that as negating all the good things he said.  He doesn't.  This helps me to compromise about the situation and not take it personally.  Smile it off OR sometimes tell him that comment bothered me.  My choice, but I know the meaning of the comment isn't the meaning that I make it to be -- he still appreciated all the good, but can't help but look for "perfection."

Lastly, It's FUN

It's like therapy you do on yourself.  Looking at how I behave and think through the lens of the Enneagram is interesting. 

There are Instagram accounts that are memes for each number.  Laughing at some of your tendencies.  What pops up for SIX a lot -- always has lots of drinking glasses in use.  Yep, totally me.  It's fun and lite-hearted. 

Make the exploration what you want it to be.  Hope this was interesting and helpful.  Later gators.

Another Week Bites the Dust

Enneagram post coming later today.  I got another book and I want to do a little more reading on my number.  BTW, this won't be earth shatteringly interesting (it'll be all about me and #6), but I wanted to chat about what the Enneagram can offer for self awareness/growth so I need to figure that out a bit more.

Hubby leaves Sunday for the week and I'm trying to build up to starting some FORWARD direction.  Yep, I keep doing this, saying this and falling back.  But I'm going for it AGAIN.

I'll set-up to work on my picture bin organization (productive project and an afternoon time filler).

I have a few "habits" I want to check off each day too.  

I've been indecisive about whether to be super duper strict and do a CHALLENGE or gently attempt to feel better.  Both have merit.  I'm leaning toward the "gently" approach since I can't seem to stick to much lately.  Minimum Baseline per Brooke Castillo.  If you set a bar and don't make it, you have to set the bar lower until you achieve the habit.  Then you can build from there.

Then the question is do I need a stricter structure to my day (i.e. work on picture bins from 2-3:30).  Maybe.  Lots to figure out.  

Where it feels DIFFERENT this time is I'm starting back with life coaching.  That keeps me accountable -- even if it's things we don't talk about.  Somehow I don't want to present as a sloppy mess when I talk to her.  A little pathetic, but I'll take ANYTHING that works at this point.  I also think I've worked out some more "stuff" over this last month too.  I'm ready to FEEL BETTER -- physically and mentally.

Speaking of working stuff out, I'm glad I figured out the plantar fasciitis.  We took the dogs to the lake to swim and the little bit of walking in my non-Hoka shoes was horrible on my heel.  I ordered Hoka hiking boots.  I need the cushioning and the heel lift.  I think I can get this fixed and back to more activity.  PROGRESS.

I'm also so excited to get the fence puppy proofed.  This is a HUGE anxiety source for me that I can't seem to get under control.  THIS simple fix will eliminate the anxiety -- I need to lower my worry levels.  It's also going to be a productive project to work on.  Double win.  Fencing comes next week and we'll install it over the weekend.

Here's a picture of the unsuccessful lake swim.  Duke HATES the water, Monti tolerated it.  Guess we have land dogs.  It was worth a try.  It's a swimming area that many people don't know about.  Totally empty during the week.  Hubby "swam" with them -- the lake temperature is perfect this time of year. 

Stay well.  Later gators.

Clinging TOO Hard

When I find any bit of fun or excitement or pleasure during this pandemic, I cling HARD ... like it's saving me.

Then, if that THING doesn't happen, I fall equally as hard.  This keeps happening.

My girlfriend and I were set to get together for a park chat tomorrow -- talking all things Enneagram.  I have the books ready to read her a few things, etc.  She took the test last weekend.  I didn't hold a lot of hope this would happen at first because she has her first move on Saturday.  But she scheduled and confirmed and I got excited.  

Last night she canceled.  The closing was pushed up.  I get it.  I totally understand AND I'm totally bummed beyond measure.  This was my FUN this week.  Chatting Enneagram.  Like a book club meeting.  Hubby is golfing and that was great since I had my fun too.  Now I'm envious and feeling alone again.

The reason I say that I'm clinging TOO hard is that this week is still good enough.  I chatted with a good friend for a couple of hours yesterday, taking the dogs to the lake today, kids over this weekend.  It's a big week.  It's a fun week.

BUT, I clung to the excitement of chatting Enneagram and doing some girl stuff as MY PLEASURE.  I need to stop.  The rollercoaster of emotion is too much.

On a better note, I found a fun thing to do virtually.  I wish I could do it with some gal pals, but it's going to be just me.  My life coach has a client who entered the circle of Instagram "fame" and is doing some fun things.  She reads Tarot cards over zoom.  My coach knows her and had fun doing it -- she talked about it on Instagram last year.  Anyway, she "advertised" the reading again and I thought -- why not?!?  This could be fun and a little social.  It's all interesting, but not life altering ... if you know what I mean.  I don't take it too seriously.  

I need to dig DEEP, look WAY WAY outside the box to find things that put icing on my cake.  The big important things are good (thankfully and fortunately), but the little cherries on top are missing.  Life gets boring after this long without FUN and lite-hearted joy.  Obviously the big things carry more weight, but the little things are important too as time stretches out.

THIS is what I'm trying to work on too.  If I had more than one little joy each week, maybe I wouldn't cling so hard.  I need to joy to be something I'm in control of too.  

I'm also up against a big boundary with my mother.  She came to play and is rolling out all the stops.  I don't know what to do and this is exactly what I don't need right now.  

Eeeekk -- when will all this tension and angst end?!?  I know we're all experiencing SOMETHING and some way more than me.  Hang on.  Nothing lasts forever.

Stay well.  Later gators.

The Latest News

Here are some hump day updates.

First, and only bummer update is I need to completely cancel the cleaning crew until this pandemic has simmered down.  I have them on a break again and was thinking about starting up (my back doesn't do well with cleaning).  The owner (who cleans along side of the crew) is COVID positive.  She's vague about where she had exposure -- only saying that she had exposure, felt ill and tested positive.  I'm so appreciative that she was honest about being positive.  This is an exposure risk I don't feel comfortable with during this upsurge.  Many local schools started back this week (with alarmingly poor precautions -- check out TMZ for some local fame) and the cleaning crew all has kids back in school.  I enjoy cleaning my own house when I'm not working -- it's my back that isn't happy.  And, lord knows I have the time right now.

I finished Beach Read and it was a little too sappy at the end.  It's was a fun and easy read though.

I'm well into Sea Wife (Amity Gaige) -- it's got a Gone Girl feel.  As usual, all about the ending.  It's fast and interesting so far.  Recommended by a friend.

Slowly moving through Outlander on Netflix.  My girlfriend mentioned that there's a lot of sex -- and she wasn't kidding.  Serious sex.  That's a warning or a recommendation -- depending on what you like LOL.  Starts off tame and about halfway through the first season ... bam.  

I think my heel pain is plantar fasciitis.  I've been thinking along those lines for a few weeks and after chasing dogs this weekend, I have foot pain too.  Best thing I did was update my walking and running shoes.  Both are great for healing and preventing PF issues.  Knowing is half the battle.  Now I can working on fixing it.  

I have a coaching appointment scheduled for late August.  I'm heading back into coaching full steam ahead.  It's important self-care in a time when that's all I can do.  I'm stuck and lost and need a place to figure things out.  Also, from a money perspective, no cleaning crew = coaching cost with some extra $$ to spend.

I had another come-to-Jesus talk with myself and I have more options for managing this time than I want to admit.  Options that aren't fun or sexy or easy, but things I can/should/want to do.  More on this later, but you know it starts with The Green Dress.  Hah.  Of course.  

On a recommendation from my life coach on her Instagram, I'm finishing my showers with 4 minutes of cold water.  It helps inflammation and works to lift mood.  The inflammation part is obvious.  The mood part is less obvious.  It helps rewire your brain to realize it's okay during times you feel uncomfortable stimulus.  Since we're bombarded with uncomfortable things right now, our brains are going a little crazy and often over-responding.  I figure (other than my water bill) there is no harm in trying this.  The first minute is the worst.

That's all from here.  Lifting up SLOWLY ... like super duper slowly, but I'm still trying.  Hope you stay well and find your happy too.  Later gators.

Much Better

Rant from yesterday is over.  I feel better.  Time has smoothed my hate for all people LOL.

Actually, what fixed my mood was a big dose of PROBLEM SOLVING.  Puppy proof wire netting on order.  This should be okay with the HOA (I don't actually care though) and will solve the problem of dogs going through the fence.  Hubby and I will do a DYI install ourselves.  Stay tuned.

I don't care that my back and heel are out of sorts today -- I'm getting myself back to moving around.  My new mantra -- I don't care.  Body be damned.  My mind needs a workout.  (Did I mention my back went out and my heel is a mess after running to help my dogs from the stupid lady?)  Fun times.

I found my next series to binge watch on Netflix.  Outlander.  I read a couple of the books -- years ago.  Friends recommended the series, but I didn't like it at first.  With my back out yesterday, I watched a few more episodes and it's good.  I have no idea how many seasons (I need to look this up).

P.S.  I've given up on Tiger King for now.  It's too upsetting to see the big cats in cages.

HVAC people coming today.  This means people in my house.  Not happy about it, but we need a service on the units.  Some things have to happen even in a pandemic.  They'll mainly be in the unfinished basement and outside, but they always need to adjust the thermostats.  That puts them on all floors of the house.

Squeezing a workout in this morning because, you guessed it ... everything happens in the morning.   Hubby made the appointment.  I would have picked afternoon.

So on that note, I need to go.  Enneagram post coming this week :)

Stay well.  Later gators.

A Story of Stupid x 2

People are on my last, last, last nerve.

Sunday BBQ with the kids -- evening is going well.  Outside with all 4 dogs, playing games (I'm sitting because my back is a hot mess).

Neighbors with two very reactive little dogs decide to walk their dogs around the back of the model home next-door to us.  It's private property, but they walk their aggressive, growling dogs up to our fence and STOP.  Two of our dogs went through the fence -- dog fight.  My eldest and I ran around the yard to get to them (he hurt his back, I hurt my heel).  My youngest went over the fence and cut his leg (he could've been very hurt and I'm upset he did that).  DIL tried to reach over and cut her arm.

These two FOOLS stood there and did nothing.  Didn't pick up their dogs.  Didn't try to move away.  Didn't pull back the extend leashes.  These dogs are under 20lbs.  Always reactive.  Owners laugh and think they are being cute when we see them on a walk.

When I saw them, I yelled for them to turn around because our dogs were out and INSTEAD they came up to the fence and stood there.  WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM?!?!  They had plenty of time to move away before the dogs noticed them.  But their dogs went ape shit.  Hubby yelled at them.  I had not-nice words too.

This is on the heels of another neighbor who came to our door Friday with her doberman who is super reactive to people and dogs and she has little control while walking.  This dog is the reason I walk my dogs gingerly in the morning.  It's an absolute dangerous situation when they are out walking -- lots of neighbors have concerns.  We have 3/4 glass double doors.  She rang the doorbell (I was at the park with my friend) and my dogs came to the door and went nuts.  Her doberman jumped the doors in full attack mode.  We saw everything on video.  She came to deliver a party notice.  Ugh on all fronts -- too cheap to mail invite, too stupid to come without her dog and too stupid to know you don't have a party during a pandemic.

Honestly, I can't take people right now.  And, I'm not being dramatic.  I'm so annoyed with the human population, I could scream.

That's all for today.  Trying to regroup.  My heel is a hot mess again and that makes me so dang upset.

I'll be back tomorrow with better things to report -- come hell or high water.  Stay well.  Later gators.