Big Announcement

A big CHANGE is coming.

Hubby got a job ... out of state (8 hours away).  He's "commuting" starting in June.  COVID is making things difficult.  No flying, so he'll be away weeks at a time until he's comfortable to fly.  He'll rent a furnished apartment, but first, hotels.  By next year, the job will be a combination of commuting and remote work so he'll only be gone a few days a week.

Of course, I'm nervous.  Scared he'll be exposed, get sick, get me sick, etc.

It's going to be a big adjustment having him gone.  I knew it would feel strange initially, but I also expected to adjust.  He's traveled the last 20 years of his career and being apart is nothing new to us.

BUT, alone during quarantine is a new level of alone.

I'm torn whether this is good or not.  He's excited and isn't concerned (since he'll take all the precautions).  We're giving it a try.  The job is a good match and a good opportunity.  He wants to work for 3-5 years (that's the timeline for this position) and then retire.  Guess I get him back in 2025.

We made pro/con lists.  Discussed what would've happened if he already had a job before COVID.  Discussed what he REALLY wants.  Discussed the fact that COVID will probably be a "thing" for at least another year.  Discussed the chances of a local job that works better.  Everything points to taking this job.

Wow, this year is NOTHING like I envisioned and keeps surprising me.  AND keeps STRESSING me.  I'm having a fall down kind of moment and I'll go with it ... but not for long.  I need to accept our decision (since we talked it out for weeks) and go forward.  I have 5 weeks before he leaves.

Little pity party going on here ...
... hubby is going away.
... my heel is bad -- ANOTHER injury.
... I still don't have MY dog and miss my big boy.
... I'll miss my pre-COVID life when I'm shut in alone.
... my 50th birthday is TOTALLY by myself -- all virtual celebration.

The way I've adjusted to the quarantine won't work in 5 weeks.  Baking lots (not if I'm the only one eating it).  Date nights (not by myself).  Morning dog walk and conversation.  Afternoon time on the deck while we chat again.

I have to hard-pivot again.  I'm not someone who changes easily.  This feels crappy.  I'll figure it out -- I always do, but first I want to wallow a bit.  There's lots to be grateful about, but that can wait a few days -- hah.

BTW, I realize this is a "lucky" problem to have -- many people are out of work, facing financial hardships, etc.

Best way to get through this ... do my healthy things.  Get myself back to the NEW ME and feeling good.  Why is this always the solution?!?  Why is this solution the last thing I actually WANT to do?

If my dang heel wasn't hurt ... I NEED a hard workout to help my mood.  (Hello, Pity Party)

Stay well.  Have a happy Saturday.  Later gators.