The witching hours called with a vengeance tonight. I barely made it through. As soon as it was late "enough" I parked myself upstairs with my computer (hello this post) and my book.
Whew. I feel safe. Yet the cravings continue. Usually, once I get upstairs and the end of the night is signaled, the witching hours end magically. Not tonight. Not lately.
UGH. What is different?
This nightly head conversation, battle of the will, struggle with the pantry is mentally exhausting. It's the battle I want relief from ... the battle that exists only in my head. So why can't I logically defeat it?
Everything about today was good. Ate well, exercised well, accomplished my "stuff," felt good about myself, felt happy ... yet I would have given my right arm for 20 mins of stuff-my-face (probably not, but I'd think about it long and hard before I refused lol).
My sugar dragon is large and wants to be in charge. I'm set to battle on another day though. I need the battle to ease up if I'm going to win. I need to get stronger, the dragon needs to die.
Tomorrow I'm going to think long and hard about starting a healthy evening tradition. Not food, not wine, not kombucha (sugar dragon). I ordered Nutpods (W30 approved nut creamer). I thought maybe an afternoon coffee with creamer might hit the spot. It should come by Thursday. Or an herbal tea? Maybe my Rosetta Stone?
It's hard to make healthy choices with so much yummy junk sitting around. Some relief will come after next week. But until then ... oh boy. Add in a birthday celebration, Easter and a few social occasions and it seems daunting. Today is a regular Tuesday and I'm working HARD to make choices for my longterm HAPPINESS, not immediate gratification with a side of regret. Big challenging days seem impossible from this vantage point.
It helps to write it out, re-read it and remember. Time to read (at least my book is awesome!!).
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